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I’m a 46-year-old housewife. I wake up every morning to the same routine. I cook breakfast, clean the house, do the laundry, and run errands. My days blur together in a never-ending cycle of chores. Despite my efforts, I feel like I’m constantly overlooked and unappreciated by my family. The exhaustion is taking its toll on me, both physically and mentally. I long for a break from this monotonous life, but I feel trapped, unable to escape the demands of my daily responsibilities. I need to break free from this cycle and find some much-needed relief. Please help!

Answered by Shravasti Tuladhar, psychosocial counselor

It’s no easy feat to be a housewife. A home needs a lot of looking after and that you are doing everything you can is commendable and appreciable. The weight of managing a Nepali household—the endless cycle of cooking, cleaning, and errands—is something many homemakers can understand.

These countless tasks, often performed with unwavering dedication, can leave you feeling overlooked and undervalued. This constant pressure can lead to exhaustion, a sense of isolation, and the feeling of being trapped in a never-ending cycle.

It’s difficult but not impossible to get over the feeling you’re experiencing. First, acknowledge your worth. Start by recognizing the immense value you bring to your family by managing the household. It’s a demanding and often thankless job, but essential for your family’s wellbeing.

Communicate your needs. Start talking openly with your family about feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes, we carry the weight of the household because we feel responsible for everyone and everything. However, a healthy family thrives when everyone contributes. By delegating tasks, seeking help from others, and establishing healthy boundaries, you create space for yourself and empower others to take responsibility.

This not only reduces your burden but also adds value to your contributions to the family. The next step is to prioritize self-care. A woman works and cares for everyone but often fails to care for herself. Schedule time for activities you enjoy, even if it’s just a few minutes a day. This could be reading, taking a walk, or connecting with friends and family. You deserve a break. It's important to remember that self-care isn’t selfish. It’s essential for your well-being and the well-being of your family.

If you feel overwhelmed and feel like nothing is working, seek support. Reaching out to a professional is a great step. It acknowledges the need for support. Don’t hesitate to talk to a therapist or counselor. They can give guidance to manage stress, help you rediscover your passions, discuss your feelings in detail, and create a sense of fulfillment in your life.

As a 19-year-old receptionist balancing work and studies, life has been quite overwhelming lately. Handling a job while also trying to keep up with my studies is not easy. I can’t afford to lose my job because I have to pay for my education. The stress of managing both work and studies has affected me. There are days when I completely feel drained, both mentally and physically. It’s difficult to focus on my studies after a long day at work. I often find myself worrying about assignments and exams. My friends are out enjoying themselves while I’m stuck at home or the office. What should I do?

Answered by Kapil Sharma, counseling psychologist, Nepal Institute of Mental Health

I want to acknowledge the incredible effort you’re putting into balancing your professional life and education, especially at such a young age. Life has its highs and lows, and it’s okay to feel the weight of those pressures. Each hurdle you overcome builds strength and resilience, even if it might not feel like much at the moment. You are just 19 and shouldering responsibilities while working for the sake of your education can be challenging.

But let me assure you that it’s okay to feel this way. Trust your hard work. Remember to allocate some time for yourself. You can start by creating a demand list, which involves identifying the demands of both work and studies. Making a demand list is a form of self-care. Once you have that down, scheduling tasks becomes easier. Be sure to include regular breaks. Engage in activities that bring you joy. Monotony can be draining so doing things you enjoy is essential.

Taking care of your mental and physical health is crucial for maintaining productivity and focus. It’s important to develop skills in managing tasks rather than isolating yourself and risking burnout. Set realistic expectations for yourself and prioritize what truly matters to you. As much as you can, avoid comparing your life to others as everyone’s journey is different.

Seeking support from family, friends, and mentors can help in establishing good routines. Identify what’s making it difficult to manage studies and work, whether it’s a relationship issue or financial constraints, and address the root cause. If you’re still struggling, don’t hesitate to seek support from professionals.

I’m 36 years old and I want to reconnect with my family. It’s been tough. Despite my efforts, it feels like they don’t appreciate me or understand what I’m going through. The lack of support leaves me feeling isolated and unappreciated, which makes it hard to be motivated at work. My job has been demanding with deadlines piling up and increasing expectations. I find it hard to concentrate when my mind is constantly worried about my family and the strained relationship among us. Balancing the demands of my career with the desire to reconnect with my loved ones feels like an impossible task. It’s taking a toll on my mental and emotional well-being. What can I do?

Answered by Shravasti Tuladhar, Psychosocial counselor

The desire to reconnect with your family while feeling a lack of support and understanding is a heavy weight to carry. Naturally, this is impacting your work and overall well-being. Family is often the cornerstone of our support system, and their absence can be isolating. We are social creatures, and strong social connections are vital for our well-being. When those relationships feel unstable, it can be difficult to focus on other areas of life, like work. But the fact that you’ve reached out for help shows immense strength.

You’ve identified the issue and are taking steps to address it, and that’s something to be proud of. There seem to be two major challenges in your life. The lack of connection with your family is causing emotional strain and making it difficult to find motivation at work. The demanding work environment and your worries about your family are creating a stressful imbalance.

First, consider what you truly need and expect from your family. What kind of relationship would feel most supportive to you? Are there specific actions you would like from them? Open communication can be key. Try to have a heart-to-heart conversation with your family. Share how you’re feeling about the lack of connection and what it means to you. Listen to their perspective as well, and try to understand their needs and feelings. Remember that rebuilding trust takes time and effort. Start with small gestures and activities to strengthen the bond, and be patient with the progress.

Setting boundaries at work can help. Prioritize tasks and learn to politely decline taking on more than you can handle. Freeing up mental space will allow you to focus on your family matters. Self-care is also essential. Taking care of yourself will give you the strength to deal with other challenges. Find activities that nourish you, whether it’s exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature.

Remember, you don’t have to do this alone. Lean on any support system you already have (friends, colleagues) while you reconnect with your family. Change takes time and effort. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help if the situation feels overwhelming or you need additional guidance. A therapist can help you develop communication skills, manage stress, and navigate complex family dynamics.

In my thirties and married, I find myself shouldering the weight of responsibilities while my husband is negligent. His lack of contribution to household chores, finances, and emotional support leaves me feeling overwhelmed and unappreciated. Despite countless discussions and attempts to address the issue, his behavior remains unchanged. The strain on our relationship is palpable, and I often feel like a single parent rather than part of a partnership. Seeking guidance from someone feels necessary to navigate and understand underlying issues, and explore options for moving forward, either together or separately, towards a healthier future.

Answered by Kapil Sharma, counseling psychologist, Nepal Institute of Mental Health

The dedication you’ve shown towards caring for your children amidst challenging circumstances is commendable. Balancing responsibilities while navigating relationship dynamics can indeed be a daunting task. Feeling overwhelmed and underappreciated in such situations is completely understandable. It takes strength to express your emotions and acknowledge issues when things feel unmanageable.

Self-care becomes crucial during times of heightened stress, especially if you’re feeling increasingly hopeless and helpless. Seeking help from a mental health professional is a wise step. Therapy offers a safe space to explore your emotions and concerns, both individually and as a couple. Couples counseling can be particularly beneficial in addressing communication issues, setting boundaries, and understanding each other’s perspectives.

It’s important to recognize that sometimes behaviors are guided by subconscious patterns, and seeking professional help can shed light on these patterns and provide opportunities for growth and healing. Deciding whether to nurture the relationship or consider other options is a deeply personal journey, and therapy can offer clarity and support along the way.

Remember to be compassionate with yourself and prioritize your well-being. Open communication with your partner, along with non-judgmental support from professionals, can pave the way for positive changes and deeper understanding within your relationship.