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I am 24 years old and I’m doing my bachelors. I have a ‘friend’ who copies everything I do. It started with small things like the way I dress and the way I write and speak and slowly escalated to her copying my habits and likes and dislikes. Today, she looks, sounds, and behaves like me. Others have noticed it too and think there is something wrong with it all. I am creeped out too but don’t know how to distance myself from her. Should I be worried? How should I deal with this?

Answered by Aapur Sijapati, psychology student, intern at Happy Minds

While it might sound surprising, this situation is something a lot of people go through. It often stays hidden because they’re scared of being seen as self-centered or full of themselves. At first, most people just deny that it’s even happening. It’s hard to believe that someone might be intentionally copying everything that you are doing and the chances of it being a coincidence feel much higher.

Most people also feel and assume their lives and choices are too ordinary to be worth copying and idolizing, unlike celebrities whose seemingly perfect lifestyles make them more obvious targets for admiration and imitation.  But it’s essential to know that regardless of how normal our lives might be for ourselves, some people might have a tendency to desire it. 

While certain levels of social mimicry are considered to be normal and done subconsciously like imitating certain lingo or hand gestures, the extremities vary. In this particular case, the fact that it’s obvious to those around her  shows that this behavior had been going on for quite some time. It also indicates that it’s time to do something about it.

In order to avoid victim blaming that is a feeling you might be doing something that is causing this or that it is your fault for having someone in your life who copies you, it’s important to try and understand what might be causing the friend to do this.

Oftentimes, confrontation might lead to guilt, which would make rationally dealing with this situation even more complicated. Some reasons that may be causing this could be the friend dealing with her own internal insecurities and self esteem issues that make her feel like she is not good enough. It might also be a way to create a sense of belongingness in a social setting where it is easier to copy someone who is already a part of the group than create a space for herself. Finally, in extreme cases, it could point towards malicious intentions and be signs of stalking. 

There could be many reasons why people do such things but the reasons and feelings don’t invalidate the insecurity and lack of safety that the individual who is being copied goes through. It’s important to know that it's not your responsibility to keep her sense of belongingness intact at the expense of your own wellbeing or sense of safety.

One important step in situations like this is figuring out whether the discomfort is mainly caused by the other person’s actions or by other people pointing them out. Ask yourself, what is really affecting you, is it her actions alone, or the growing awareness sparked by others pointing them out? This kind of reflection helps in understanding what exactly feels upsetting and can make it easier to decide what to do next. It’s also useful to think about whether it’s more practical to create some distance or to have a respectful conversation. If distance seems like the better option, how often you see each other matters. Changing that might mean adjusting daily routines or even risking mutual friendships. 

On the other hand, a calm and honest conversation might help clear the air and lead to better understanding. While this approach might offer more clarity and help in humanizing the friend, it can also be an uncomfortable step—one that requires emotional readiness for a potentially intense reaction. Still, it’s important to remember that in the case of a negative response, you can’t be held responsible for the other person’s mental or emotional state.

In the end, dealing with someone who copies your behavior too closely can be confusing and emotionally draining. Whether the choice is to take some space, have an honest conversation, or simply reflect more deeply, the most important thing is to protect your sense of safety and comfort. Noticing and speaking up about it doesn’t mean being self-centered—it means being aware and taking care of yourself.

How do I manage anxiety before important exams or presentations?

Answered by Dr Rika Rijal, consultant psychiatrist

Have you ever felt your heart race, palms sweat, or mind go blank just before an important exam or presentation? If yes, you’ve likely experienced anticipatory anxiety—a common but often misunderstood response where the fear of a future event causes overwhelming stress.

Imagine a student preparing for a crucial medical entrance exam. She has studied well, revised thoroughly, and done countless mock tests. But as the exam day nears, sleep becomes elusive, appetite vanishes, and self-doubt creeps in. “What if I forget everything? What if I fail?” This is anticipatory anxiety in action—the fear of what might happen hijacks the present moment.

Why does this happen?

Our brains are wired to detect threats. But in today’s world, the ‘threat’ is not a wild animal—it’s failure, judgment, or embarrassment. Our bodies respond the same way—with increased adrenaline, tension, and a flood of negative thoughts.

How can we manage it?

Acknowledge the anxiety
Recognizing that you’re anxious—and that it’s normal—is the first step. Most high-performing individuals experience pre-event anxiety. It’s not a weakness; it’s part of being human.

Practice relaxation techniques
Deep breathing, grounding exercises, and mindfulness help calm the racing mind. Even five minutes of slow breathing can activate the body’s relaxation response.

Shift your focus
Instead of obsessing over the outcome, focus on your preparation and effort. Affirmations like ‘I am prepared and I will give my best’ help reframe thoughts.

Visualize success
Athletes do it—and so can you. Close your eyes and imagine yourself walking into the exam room or onto the stage, calm and confident, performing well.

Stick to a routine
Eat well, sleep adequately, and avoid last-minute cramming. A healthy body supports a calm mind.

Anticipatory anxiety doesn’t mean you’re not ready—it means you care. But with the right tools, you can turn that nervous energy into performance fuel.

Sometimes everything seems to be fine but, deep down, something feels heavy and empty at the same time. Is it normal to feel empty even when everything seems fine?

Answered by Karmendra Prakash Shrestha, psychology student, intern at Happy Minds

Before answering the question, I would like to acknowledge your awareness of this feeling. Noticing that something doesn’t feel right even when everything appears fine on the outside is a meaningful and courageous step. It’s easy to ignore or dismiss these experiences, often brushing them aside in the rush of daily life. But recognizing them is the first step toward understanding and healing.

Emotions, regardless of whether they are positive or negative, are a normal part of life. Happiness, sorrow and their many different varieties, color our lives. So, it’s important to remind ourselves that feeling down, sad or any other negative emotions is okay and it’s actually important to allow ourselves to feel them. When emotions are suppressed or left unacknowledged, they often resurface in other, more complex ways. 

However, the moment the conversation changes is when such emotions persist for a long time and start affecting other parts of your life (social, personal, professional, love life). If everytime you feel heavy and empty when things are seemingly fine, then it might be an indication that an issue is present deep within you. Our emotions, experiences, and traumas don’t always come to the surface. Due to busy  lives, it’s perfectly possible not to know why we’re feeling certain emotions, difficulties or problems. Issues that come from one’s childhood can be especially difficult to identify and treat. They remain dormant, showing little to no indication of its existence, until something significant change and/or event occurs which causes the issue to emerge to the surface. 

It’s also worth exploring what ‘empty’ or ‘heavy’ truly means for you. These words can reflect a wide range of feelings. Emptiness can refer to loneliness, boredom, sadness, or a lack of meaning, while heaviness might come from guilt, shame, overwhelm, or mental/physical exhaustion. Being able to name what you’re feeling more specifically can bring clarity and direction. One useful tool for this is the ‘emotion wheel’, which is a visual guide that helps people identify and articulate their emotions more accurately and can be easily found through a simple google search. Often, just naming what we feel can reduce some of the confusion and offer a sense of relief.

If these feelings begin to interfere with your daily life, your relationships, or your sense of self, it might be time to seek support. The feeling of heaviness and emptiness while everything seems fine can be an indicator of the presence of some underlying issue. Speaking to a therapist can be a valuable way to understand what’s beneath the surface in a safe and supportive environment. Therapy isn’t only for moments of crisis, it’s a space for self-discovery, growth, and healing, even when things seem okay on the outside. 

It’s really hard to forget someone when you have given everything to this person. These days,  many people stay in a relationship though it’s really hard for them to deal with all the things that are going on. Why do some people keep going back to toxic relationships even though they know it’s not right for them?

Answered by Kapil Sharma, counseling psychologist

In this context of relationships, one of the most significant aspects is investment—whether emotional, mental, or even financial. People often continue staying in relationships that aren’t good for them because they’ve already invested so much into it. Psychologically, this is known as the ‘sunk cost fallacy’—the more time and effort someone puts in, the harder it becomes to walk away, even when it’s damaging.

One major reason people stay is the fear of being alone. Loneliness can be terrifying, especially for those who tie their worth to being wanted or needed by someone. This fear often leads to staying in unhealthy dynamics just to avoid abandonment.

Some individuals are validation seekers—they depend heavily on others to feel worthy. For them, being in a relationship, even a harmful one, provides a sense of being valued. This dependence can mask deeper insecurities and make detachment feel impossible.

Low self-esteem also plays a powerful role. People with poor self-worth often internalize blame, thinking the problem lies within them. They may believe they don’t deserve better or that they are responsible for the issues in the relationship.

Past traumas, especially those involving attachment, abuse, or neglect, can shape how someone tolerates pain in relationships. For instance, someone who grew up feeling unloved might cling to even a small amount of affection in adulthood, despite the surrounding toxicity.

In many cases, there’s also hope for change. People tend to hold on to the 20 percent of good in a person while ignoring the 80 percent that’s harmful. They cling to moments of affection or connection, hoping things will get better—often at the cost of their own peace and growth.

To move forward, one must first recognize their own self-worth. Growth begins with understanding that love should not compromise your peace, dignity, or self-respect. Having meaningful conversations, setting boundaries, and seeking support—be it from friends, therapy, or community—can open the door to healing.

Think of a rose: it’s beautiful, but it also has thorns. If you’re not careful, it can hurt you. Similarly, love is a beautiful emotion, but it must be handled with care, wisdom, and respect for yourself.

In the end, staying in a relationship that consistently harms you isn’t love—it’s survival. And you deserve more than just surviving; you deserve to thrive.