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You realize you are always the one initiating plans in a friendship. How should you approach this situation—should you confront your friend, step back, or reevaluate the friendship?

Answered by Aditya Dangol, mental health professional

Anna LeMind, a psychology writer and founder of Learning Mind, said, “One-sided friendships inevitably lead to disappointment. But even worse is that they make you feel invisible and not good enough.” The situation you’ve mentioned here is one of the most common and emotionally challenging dynamics that occur in friendships. That nagging feeling of being the only one who initiates plans can slowly build up to the point where you start wondering if your friend even cares or values the relationship at all. The experience can be painful and, in some cases, even humiliating. And the confusion around whether to confront, step back, or re-evaluate the friendship just adds to the emotional load.

I appreciate your effort to figure out how to navigate this situation and make the best decision for yourself. That in itself shows a lot of emotional maturity. Now that we’ve acknowledged how complicated this situation can be, a simple place to start is by asking ourselves a few clarifying questions. Based on your concern, it’s clear that you’ve noticed a pattern in your friend’s lack of initiation. So, here are some questions that might help you get some clarity:

Is this a recent pattern, or has it been happening for a long time? Are there any external factors that could explain this behavior? (Stress, anxiety, financial difficulties, life changes?) Are there other ways this friend might be expressing care or affection, even if not through initiating plans? Most importantly—how is this whole situation making you feel?

Another important question is: Have you communicated how you feel to my friend? If yes, was it done directly—like clearly expressing it in words—or more indirectly, like through jokes, sarcasm, or memes? Usually, in situations like these, it’s suggested to communicate directly, though with a bit of softness or compassion. Even if it feels uncomfortable or unnecessary, expressing how you feel is often the first step toward resolution. I know it can be scary too—thoughts like “what if this is all just in my head?” or “what if I make things worse?” are common. But even if discomfort or conflict arises, honesty is often necessary for growth.

Here’s one way we could bring it up in a neutral, kind, and direct manner: “Hey! I’ve been wanting to talk to you about our friendship. I really value it a lot, but lately I’ve been feeling like I’m always the one making the effort to plan things or reach out. When I don’t see that coming from you, I start feeling like I’m not important or valued. I wanted to check in—how do you feel about this? I would really like to know if something is bothering you as well.”

This kind of statement helps express your emotions while still leaving space for your friend to respond honestly. It’s important to share how you feel rather than pointing fingers. That keeps the conversation grounded and open rather than defensive.

When you put yourself forward to your friend in this manner, observing their response to your questions and statements can be key in deciding whether to step back or even re-evaluate the friendship. Consider it a good sign if your concerns are met with openness—without defensiveness, lashing out, or attempts to gaslight you into thinking your feelings are an overreaction or simply wrong.

It’s possible that your own interpretation of the situation may amplify or influence your concerns. That’s completely human. But the core of what you feel is still valid and deserves attention. What matters most is how your friend responds. Are they willing to listen and understand, or do they deflect, minimize, or try to shut down the conversation? That response—more than the issue itself—often reveals the real health of the relationship.

If the conversation is met with deflection, gaslighting, minimization, or defensiveness, it might be time to step back and re-evaluate if this relationship is truly healthy—or if your efforts are being taken for granted. Ask yourself: Are they willing to be honest about their behavior? Do they take accountability or apologize if needed? Even if their response is accepting and empathetic, what matters next is action. Do they make any real effort to change their behavior moving forward? 

Ultimately, reflect on this: Is this friendship bringing you more comfort, support, and understanding—or more discomfort, pain, betrayal, and disrespect? The answer can guide you in deciding whether to continue investing in the relationship or begin letting go. Friendships, like any relationship, require mutual effort, honesty, and care. If you find yourself constantly chasing connection, it may be time to pause and prioritize your emotional well-being. It’s okay to expect effort in return. And it’s more than okay to walk away from what no longer nurtures you. Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do—for yourself and others—is to stop proving your worth and simply protect your peace.

Many people struggle with self-doubt and overthinking, which affects their daily lives. How can someone break free from the cycle of negative self-talk and build confidence?

Answered by Kapil Sharma, counseling psychologist, Better Mind

Many people struggle with self-doubt and overthinking, and it can feel like driving through thick fog—you can’t see the road ahead clearly. But just like a fogged-up windshield can be cleared with a defogger, our minds can also be cleared with the right tools and actions. It’s not a one-time fix—it requires regular effort and care.

Negative self-talk often comes from our inner critic, which is shaped by past experiences like critical parenting styles, lack of emotional validation, or constantly being compared to others. Perfectionism plays a role too—setting unrealistically high standards makes any mistake feel like total failure.

To break this cycle, start by building awareness. One powerful method is the ‘friend test’—ask yourself: If my friend were going through this, what would I say to them? Then apply that same compassion and advice to yourself.

Overthinking pulls us into the past with guilt or into the future with anxiety. Grounding techniques like journaling, breathing exercises, physical movement, or even tapping can bring your mind back to the present.

Pay attention to your internal dialogue. The way you speak to yourself matters. Shift from ‘I can’t do this’ to ‘I’m learning how to do this.’ That small change can build hope and motivation. Confidence and mental well-being are like muscles—they grow stronger with consistent practice. Start with small acts of courage. Over time, these build trust in yourself.

Finally, aim to build a healthy relationship with your inner voice. Treat yourself with the same kindness and patience you would offer to someone you care about. With time, awareness, and practice, it’s absolutely possible to break free from self-doubt and step into a more confident, grounded version of yourself.

Siblings sometimes experience rivalry, even into adulthood. What’s the best way to handle long-standing competition and resentment?

Answered by Karmendra Prakash Shrestha, psychology student, intern at Happy Minds

Sibling rivalry that continues into adulthood is more common than many realize. Though often associated with childhood, these tensions can linger for years, shaped by early roles, perceived favoritism, or unresolved conflicts. When left unaddressed, they can harden into patterns of resentment, comparison, and emotional distance.

The first and often most effective step is reflection. Understanding the nature of the rivalry, what triggers it, how it plays out, and what emotions surface, is essential. Many adult sibling conflicts are fueled not just by recent interactions, but by long-standing dynamics that date back to early family life. Bringing awareness to these patterns helps shift the focus from blame to understanding.

When communication becomes necessary, it’s most productive to approach it thoughtfully and without accusation. Conversations that center on one’s own experience rather than judgment or critique tend to be more constructive. For example, stating how a dynamic has been experienced or how certain interactions have felt is more likely to foster openness than recounting past wrongs. The goal is not to assign fault but to create space for mutual recognition.

Boundaries also play a critical role. If interactions consistently lead to emotional distress or conflict, it’s appropriate to limit contact or define clear expectations around communication. Boundaries aren’t a rejection but rather a way to maintain emotional well-being and preserve the potential for respectful engagement.

It’s also important to avoid comparisons. Rivalry often thrives on perceived inequalities, differences in success, attention, or approval, but comparing paths only deepens division. Every individual has a unique journey, and peace often begins when those comparisons are set aside in favor of acceptance and self-defined values.

Unresolved resentment may be rooted in early family roles or unmet emotional needs. Exploring those origins can provide clarity and relief, particularly with the support of therapy. Professional guidance can offer a neutral space to untangle these threads and support healing, whether individually or as a family.

Forgiveness may be part of the process, though it should not be confused with forgetting or excusing harmful behavior. Rather, it involves releasing the expectation that the past could have unfolded differently. This release allows room to make decisions based on the present reality, not past pain.

Ultimately, it’s possible to shift a long-standing dynamic, but change doesn’t always require both parties. Even without reconciliation, personal clarity and healthier responses can transform the emotional impact of the relationship. In some cases, reduced contact brings peace; in others, new understanding opens the door to a more respectful and authentic connection. Siblings share history, but that doesn’t mean they must share the same future. With intention and emotional care, it’s possible to honor the past while choosing a different path forward. 

Some friendships become toxic over time, leaving you emotionally drained. How can you recognize when to walk away and how can you cope with the loss?

Answered by Tashi Gurung, counseling psychologist

Not all friendships in our lives are truly meaningful, even if they may seem important at first. When we take a moment to genuinely reflect and analyze the nature of our relationships over time, we can begin to discern whether they are actually healthy or simply habitual. It’s easy to hold on to a connection just because of shared history, but history alone doesn’t justify emotional strain.
Ask yourself: Does spending time with this friend leave me feeling anxious, unheard, or consistently drained? Do I find myself constantly putting in more effort than I receive? Do I feel unappreciated, disrespected, or subtly undermined by passive-aggressive behavior? Is there a sense of rivalry disguised as concern, or do I feel emotionally manipulated? If the answers to these questions lean toward yes, then it may be time to consider stepping away.
Letting go of such a relationship isn’t easy. Ending a friendship, especially one that may have once been close, can trigger a deep sense of grief. These emotions are valid. You might feel a mix of sadness, guilt, anger, or even relief. All of these responses are normal, and it’s important to accept them without judgment. There is no ‘right’ way to feel when a chapter closes.
During this period of emotional transition, it’s helpful to lean on the people who have consistently shown up for you—those who support you with sincerity and care. Engaging in fulfilling activities, spending time with loved ones, or even diving into creative hobbies can be ways to reconnect with yourself and replenish your emotional energy.
Ultimately, learning to let go is a powerful skill, one rooted in self-awareness and self-respect. Walking away from a toxic or unbalanced friendship is not a sign of failure. In fact, it’s a meaningful step toward preserving your well-being and honoring your personal growth. Choosing peace over persistent discomfort is one of the most courageous acts of self-love.
And as we move forward, it's important to remember that not every ending is a loss. By creating space in our lives, we open the door for new, healthier connections to find us—relationships built on mutual respect, understanding, and genuine care. The right people will never make you question your worth. They will help you see it more clearly.