Submit your Article

How can young adults navigate the challenge of asserting their independence while maintaining a respectful and understanding relationship with their parents, especially when parents continue to view them as children out of love, habit, or concern? How can understanding parent’s perspectives open trust and communication between them and their children?

Answered by Rika Rijal, consultant psychiatrist

It’s a common experience: no matter how old you are, parents often find it hard to stop seeing you as their little one. This comes from love, habit, and sometimes worry, but it can feel frustrating when you’re trying to assert your independence.

The first step is to recognize their perspective. For your parents, caring and guiding you has been a lifelong role. Their overprotectiveness is not necessarily a lack of respect—it’s often their way of showing concern. Understanding this can help you approach the situation with patience rather than anger.

Next, practice open communication. Instead of confronting them with, “Stop treating me like a child,” try gentle but firm statements: “I value your advice, but I’d like to make this decision for myself.” Framing it as a request for trust rather than rejection reduces defensiveness.

Equally important is consistency. If you want your parents to see you as an adult, show them through your actions—be responsible with finances, follow through on commitments, and own your choices. Parents are more likely to ease their control when they see maturity in practice.

Lastly, remember that change takes time. Parents often need to adjust gradually to your adulthood, just as you once adjusted to theirs during adolescence. A balance of respect for their feelings and assertion of your independence creates space for a healthier, more equal relationship.

Growing up doesn’t mean cutting ties—it means reshaping them. With patience, dialogue, and responsibility, you can help your parents see you not as a child to be directed, but as an adult to be trusted.

How do I move forward when I’m consumed by the thought that I’ve wasted years of my life?

Answered by Kapil Sharma, counseling psychologist

Life is much like a tree. Storms may come—bending it, breaking branches, even tearing parts apart—but if the roots are still alive, the tree can heal, grow, and even flourish again. The scars remain, yes, but they become part of its story, not the end of it. The same applies to us. Feeling like you’ve wasted years is a deeply human emotion, often rooted in grief, regret, and disappointment.

It may stem from missed opportunities, broken relationships, or a lingering sense of being in the wrong place. These feelings are valid. They reflect pain—not the truth. But it’s important to remember: your feelings don’t define your reality, and they don’t determine your future path.

Psychologically, the feeling of having wasted years often stems from distorted thinking patterns. One common pattern is all-or-nothing thinking, where you see your life as either a complete success or a total failure, with no room for nuance. Another is social comparison—looking at others who seem to be ahead and assuming you’re behind or lacking. Unprocessed grief and regret can also contribute, leaving emotional wounds that haven’t yet found closure. Low self-compassion plays a major role too. We often treat ourselves with harsh judgment rather than the understanding we would offer a friend. 

These thought patterns can create the powerful illusion that time has been wasted. However, healing begins when you shift the narrative. Instead of saying, “I wasted years,” try saying, “I lived through years of learning.” Reflect on the strengths, skills, and insights you’ve developed—even through the pain. Practice self-forgiveness by imagining how you would respond to a friend in your situation, and extend that same kindness to yourself.

Start small: set realistic goals that help rebuild momentum, and surround yourself with a supportive environment that acknowledges your journey. And remember, healing doesn’t have to happen alone—seeking professional support is a healthy and courageous step forward.

Finally, recognize that what feels ‘wasted’ may actually be the soil for future growth. It’s not about erasing the past, but about using it—learning from it—and choosing differently now. The tree may be wounded, but it still grows.

What do I do if I feel stuck in a job that pays well but drains me emotionally?

Answered by Khushbu Agarwal,  psychologist

The most important thing in this kind of situation is to understand what’s draining you: Is it the nature of the work or the environment, as in is it too monotonous or doesn’t align with your values? It could also be due to a toxic or high pressure work environment, micromanaging boss, difficult colleague or unsupportive coworkers. 

Once you identify the source of the emotional drain, you will know whether it can be adjusted or if a bigger change is needed. Bigger change like leaving immediately could be risky. You could try adjusting your role and responsibilities, as sometimes a shift within the job can help you get some breathing room while you plan. 

Start exploring skills, training, or side projects that align more with who you are and network in fields or communities that energize you. Save money consistently to build a ‘freedom fund’ if you're worried about security. You should also be able to identify what matters to you most and figure out if your current job supports you to achieve it. Most importantly, if money weren’t a factor, what would you want to spend your time doing?

Work-life balance is also crucial as it’s a boundary system that protects your mental health, relationships, and sense of self from being consumed by your job. When you’re emotionally drained by work, restoring balance becomes a necessity, not a luxury. We often confuse it with giving equal time at work and personal life but it simply means balancing where you rest without guilt and have time for relationships, hobbies and health. You shouldn’t feel like your identity is tied only to your job. 

In order to have a healthy balance, you should be able to define your start and stop time and then actually log off and turn off non-urgent notifications after work hours. Cut what you can from the energy drainers and focus on what recharges you, whether it’s reading, walks, music, or quiet time. Prioritizing important over urgent work and giving yourself permission to rest is a form of recovery not laziness.

I would also like to ask you to take one hour a week for something joyful or creative, take 10 mins daily to breathe, stretch, or simply do nothing, and block a full day per month with no plans to reconnect with yourself

Don’t make any impulsive decisions, and discuss your thoughts with a coach, manager, boss or mentor. Express your concerns clearly but respectfully. You might find a fresh perspective or just relief in being heard. Isolation often intensifies the feeling of being ‘stuck.’

Burnout and chronic emotional drain can lead to anxiety, depression, or physical exhaustion. If you’re experiencing numbness, dread, or disconnection, consider talking to a mental health professional. Sometimes the fog clears when your nervous system has space to breathe again.

How can I make deeper connections instead of superficial friendships?

Answered by Rika Rijal, consultant psychiatrist

In an age of social media and fast-paced living, many of us find ourselves surrounded by people, yet feel deeply alone. Surface-level friendships may fill our calendars but not our hearts. So how do we go deeper?

True connection begins with authenticity. Drop the mask. Be willing to show your real self—your fears, hopes, even your awkwardness. Vulnerability invites vulnerability. When you open up, you give others permission to do the same.

Next, listen to understand, not just to respond. Ask thoughtful questions. Remember details. Be present. Emotional intimacy doesn’t come from talking more. It comes from listening better.

Shared experiences matter. Spend time in meaningful activities together: volunteering, traveling, or even having deep conversations without distractions. These moments create emotional anchors.

Lastly, consistency builds trust. Check in. Show up. Keep your word. Depth takes time, but the investment is worth it.

In a world that often celebrates the highlight reel, choose to stay for the full story. Real friendships are not found but built. Also, in this fast paced world, ambition is often glorified, while rest is mistaken for laziness. This imbalance can lead to burnout. People feel exhausted, emotionally drained, and disconnected from their purpose. So, they have issues creating deep connections with fellow people.

It’s important to set boundaries, and to listen to your mind and body. Value deep friendships as a foundation for long-term success. After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup.