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I have been feeling really depressed lately. I’m thinking a lot about my education, career, and future. To top things off, my relationship with my family isn’t that great either. How can I help myself from feeling unloved and stop over thinking? How can I start prioritizing myself first and maintain good relations with those around me?

Answered by Aditya Dangol, Psychosocial Counselor

First of all, I’m glad that you reached out and talked about what you’ve been going through. I’m unsure about your age but I assume that you are a young adult who is currently working as well as studying since you’ve mentioned career and education. It seems that you have multiple areas of your life that have been impacting you mentally and emotionally. It’s pretty natural for many young adults to stress about their future, especially while trying to juggle studies and career. It’s important for us to understand the root causes of these distressing thoughts and feelings.

For instance, much of the education and future stress stems from uncertainty. The uncertainty of finding a proper job with appropriate income, enough to sustain not only us but our families has been found to be the most prominent stressor. In the context of Nepal, the issue of scope and sustainability in a particular field causes much stress. There is additional stress when our desired choice of field doesn’t align with what our family expects from us.

Identifying the root cause of your career, education and future related stress can help you manage or even remove it. If it’s a case of lack of family support in your choice of career, it might be necessary to set boundaries and assertively communicate your desires, rather than avoid it due to fear of conflict. The same can be said for other issues with family members. Proper communication and asserting our boundaries can help us establish better relationships. A therapist might be able to help in identifying what boundaries have been encroached, how to set them, and assertively communicate your thoughts and emotions.

Each individual has his own way of experiencing and giving love. Some people show love by helping their loved ones and feel loved when their loved ones do the same. Not having a sense of reciprocation in this regard can cause people to feel unloved. A need to excessively show love to others can leave us feeling empty and unloved when they are not responded to with similar energy. It’s always healthy to communicate your feelings. If you feel hesitant and unsure, it’s nice to talk to someone you trust before you communicate. This might even help you improve and even nurture your relationships.

When we are able to communicate our feelings, whether they are generally positive such as love or excitement or happiness or negative feelings such as frustration, anger, hurt or disappointment, it allows us to feel a sense of self-prioritization. When we are able to communicate our boundaries assertively, it helps us boost our self-esteem and feeling of self-worth.

Learning and executing all of these things might be helpful but please understand that you don’t need to do it all by yourself. Seeking help in figuring the root causes of your issues and their solutions can help heal.

I have issues with body image. I have always been a chubby child but now as a teenager, many of my friends and relatives make fun of me. They say I’m fat and I feel bad. I don’t want to go out and meet anyone. I fear being ridiculed. I try not to eat too much and sometimes I even try to make myself vomit the food I ate. I don’t feel good. I don’t know what’s happening with me and I think I need help.

Answered by Dr Rika Rijal, consultant psychiatrist

I understand that it must be very difficult for you and it sounds like you are facing a very challenging and distressing issue related to body image, which is a problem many young people are facing in today’s world. The feelings you’re experiencing are signs that your mental and physical health might be under continuous stress.

First and foremost, the criticism you’re receiving from others about your body can deeply affect self-esteem, especially during adolescence, a time when body image plays a major role in shaping identity. However, their comments don’t define your worth, and it’s important to recognize that body diversity is normal and healthy.

You said you are trying to restrict yourself from eating and making yourself vomit. This is concerning, as it may indicate the early signs of an eating disorder, such as bulimia nervosa or anorexia nervosa, both of which can have serious long-term health effects. These behaviors—whether it’s withdrawing from social situations, restricting food intake, or inducing vomiting (self-purging behavior)—often stem from a desire to regain control in situations where you feel powerless or overwhelmed by others’ opinions. But rather than providing relief, these actions can lead to emotional and physical harm, making it even more difficult to feel good about yourself.

When shame or anxiety around appearance becomes overwhelming, it’s common to avoid social contact, but this often worsens feelings of loneliness and sadness. You might also be experiencing anxiety or depression, both of which are common among people dealing with body image concerns.

Do you need help? Absolutely. What you’re going through is very real, and the emotional pain you’re feeling deserves proper support. I encourage you to talk to a trusted adult—a parent or teacher—who can help guide you to professional support with a mental health professional. They can help you explore the feelings, challenge unhealthy thoughts around food and body image, and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

You don’t have to go through this alone. Reaching out for help is the first step toward healing, and it can lead to a better understanding of both your emotional and physical well-being.

I get extremely negative vibes when I talk to this one person who shares everything with me. After listening to her, I can’t ignore this creepy feeling I get. I frequently get affected by what she has said. How can I help myself to stop feeling this way? Should I ignore it or how can I change myself to look at things in a positive way?

Answered by Tashi Phunjo Gurung, consultant psychiatrist

It’s not unnatural for us to feel drained and fatigued after someone has unloaded their burden on us. After all, we are human beings, and it’s hard not to get unaffected when we listen to someone’s struggles and hear them out.

I am curious to know: who is this person you are talking about? Are they a romantic partner? A friend or family member? Or a work colleague/acquaintance?

If they are someone who is not within your intimate circle, maintaining distance (both emotional and physical) can be the way to go. In no way are we obligated to be there for the person every time. It’s okay to hold our space.

However, if this person is someone who’s in the intimate circle, it would be very important to communicate your emotions regarding their sharing. Gently communicating with them about how the sharing affects you can lead to a more balanced dynamic, where both your needs are considered.

As a counselor, one of the things we learn early in our career is that we can only be there for our clients through their struggles but not rescue them. Perhaps this perspective can also be helpful to you. What you are doing for the person is more than enough. Not many people have the bandwidth to be there for the other person emotionally. I would suggest appreciating yourself for your efforts, but also at the same time keeping in mind that you are not responsible for them.

Providing emotional support is enough. It clearly shows that the other person trusts you, and thus is able to confide in you. What you are doing is truly commendable.

Lastly, self-care is absolutely essential. Engaging in uplifting and relaxing activities is helpful. Do you like walking? Deep breathing? Spending time in nature? There are various things to take care of our emotional needs, you can choose one that you resonate with the most.

It’s crucial to remember that while offering support to others is commendable, your own well-being should never be compromised. By setting healthy boundaries, practicing self-care, and communicating openly, you can maintain a balance between being there for others and preserving your own emotional health. It’s okay to take a step back when needed, and prioritize yourself. After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

I am 18 years old and recently joined a flight attendant class. In the past, I often felt numb and found myself overthinking about past and future events. I would feel like crying but couldn’t express it in front of others. I frequently regretted things, even when they weren’t wrong, and struggled to focus on work or study. Although I’m okay now, I still can’t figure out the reason for those feelings. Was it just a phase, or was I experiencing a mental health issue?

Answer by Dr Rika Rijal, consultant psychiatrist

Thank you for sharing your experience. What you described is something many people go through, especially during transitional periods in life. These emotional responses to stress are common when facing new situations. Significant life changes, like joining a class, can bring a mix of excitement and anticipation, which can intensify these feelings. It’s important to recognize that such experiences can be a normal part of adjusting to a new environment or situation.

However, if these symptoms persist for a month or longer, they could indicate a mental health issue, such as anxiety or a depressive disorder, particularly if they affect your daily functioning or cause significant distress. Overthinking, feelings of numbness, and difficulty focusing are common symptoms of anxiety, while persistent regret and the urge to cry without the ability to express it could be related to depression.

On a brighter note, the fact that you’re feeling better now is a positive sign, suggesting that what you experienced may have been an adjustment issue, possibly triggered by the changes in your life. Nevertheless, it’s essential to seek help if you notice these feelings returning or if they start to interfere with your daily life again. Talking to someone—a friend, family member, or mental health professional—can be helpful. Sometimes, understanding and processing your emotions with the support of others can make a significant difference.

Remember, mental health is as important as physical health, and seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Whether it was just a phase or something more, acknowledging your feelings and taking steps to care for your mental well-being is crucial. Fly high and continue to soar with grace! Wishing you endless adventures and smooth skies ahead. All the best in your journey as a flight attendant!