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At 21, I thought I had found the love of my life. We were inseparable, planning our future together. Then she met someone else and left me. I was devastated. The heartbreak was unbearable. I started having panic attacks and got depressed. I couldn’t eat or sleep, and the stress made me physically ill, leading to several hospital visits. My family tried to support me, but they didn’t fully understand my pain. Now she’s happy with him, and I’m trying to piece my life back together. I never expected to face such intense heartbreak at this age and I don’t know what to do.

Answered by Kapil Sharma, counseling psychologist, Nepal Institute of Mental Health

I know this pain can feel unbearable, and facing such a difficult challenge is truly hard. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It might seem impossible to move forward right now, but believe me, you can get through this grief. Healing takes time, and we will take it one step at a time.

When we’re emotionally bonded with someone, we share a lot of experiences and make plans for the future. This increases our emotional intimacy. When a relationship ends, it feels like a sudden loss, bringing about feelings of grief. This is a natural part of being attached to someone. Your relationship probably gave you a sense of security and belonging, so it’s normal to feel lost and disconnected when it ends.

Feeling left out can hurt our self-esteem and self-worth. You might feel betrayed or rejected, leading to an identity crisis. This is a normal process that many people go through. Developing new routines and behaviors can help. If things feel too difficult, it’s okay to reflect on them and seek professional support. If you’re already seeing a professional, keep going.

We need to experience all our emotions without judgment, whether it’s sadness, anger, or confusion. Acknowledge these feelings and go through them without judging yourself. Journaling can help—write down whatever comes to mind. This way, you can process your emotions rather than suppress them. Remember the good times, but also focus on self-help routines to create a new identity. Engage in activities you truly enjoy and try new things to rediscover who you are. If you’re going through an identity crisis, this can help build a stronger sense of self.

While creating a new identity, reflect on the present moment. Many things have changed, and with time and the right approach, the intense feelings will subside. You’ll become stronger and more resilient. Reflecting on your progress over time will help you see how far you’ve come.

Since you’re dealing with panic attacks and depression, talking to a therapist can be very helpful. Therapy can provide the emotional support you need and help you challenge negative thought patterns, rebuilding your self-esteem. It’s okay to seek therapy. Healing takes time, and it’s perfectly fine to take one thing at a time rather than overwhelming yourself. This experience can build resilience.

I’m a student waiting for my +2 results. I’m feeling really anxious and stressed. The uncertainty and the high expectations I’ve set for myself, along with the pressure I feel from others, are overwhelming. The fear of not meeting these expectations is consuming me. I’m trying to manage this by staying present and maintaining a healthy routine. I’ve been setting achievable goals and focusing on what I can control. I keep reminding myself that every experience is a learning opportunity and that I have the strength to get through whatever comes my way. I’m trying to stay positive, but it’s tough. What should I do?

Answer by Dr Rika Rijal, Consultant Psychiatrist

Winston Churchill, former prime minister of the UK, said, “Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It’s the courage to continue that counts.” Feeling anxious about the future is a common experience, especially when facing important milestones like exam results. Our brains naturally seek certainty and predictability. Not knowing the outcome or uncertainty about something can be stressful.

Another reason for your worry can be that if you have set high expectations for yourself or feel others have high expectations of you, it can add to the pressure. Additionally, worrying about not meeting expectations or failing can be overwhelming. That feeling that the result is out of your hands and nothing can be done now can contribute to your anxiety.

What you can do in this situation is acknowledge your feelings. Understand that it’s okay to feel anxious. Accepting your feelings can be the first step towards managing them. Focusing on the present moment rather than worrying about the past or future and practicing mindfulness can help you stay grounded.

Sharing and talking about your concerns with friends, family, or a mental health professional can help relieve stress and provide new perspectives on your current situation. Maintaining a healthy routine with regular exercise, involving yourself in some hobbies, can help you stay occupied throughout the day, which in turn can have a significant impact on your mental well-being.

Also, as you wait for the results, setting achievable goals and breaking tasks into smaller steps can make the future seem more manageable. While you can’t control the results, you can control how you prepare for the future and respond to different outcomes. Hard times don’t last forever. Remember to take every experience in your life as a learning lesson. Lastly, it’s a challenging time, but you have the strength to get through it. So, buckle up, look forward, and keep going.

I’m 28 and I’m dealing with family problems that are affecting my mental health. My parents argue constantly, creating a tense and stressful environment at home. This ongoing conflict makes me feel anxious and distracted, impacting my work and personal life. I’ve been trying to cope by spending more time on hobbies and having honest conversations with my parents about how their conflicts affect me, but the emotional strain remains heavy. I’m seeking suggestions on how to better manage the impact of these family issues on my mental health. What should I do? Please help! 

Answered by Kapil Sharma, counseling psychologist, Nepal Institute of Mental Health

I’m deeply sorry to hear about the difficulties you’re facing. Family conflicts can indeed have a significant impact on mental health, leading to feelings of anxiety, stress, and difficulty concentrating.

From what you’ve shared, your condition might be due to chronic stress and emotional contagion. Chronic stress comes from ongoing family conflicts, keeping your stress levels high and making it hard to relax. Emotional contagion means you absorb and mirror the negative emotions around you, so your parents’ anxiety and tension might be causing you to feel similarly anxious and on edge.

Mindfulness and relaxation techniques could help you calm down. Think of mindfulness as a mental reset button, allowing you to find peace amidst the chaos. Incorporate deep breathing, meditation, or muscle relaxation for 10-15 minutes daily to reduce anxiety and maintain calm.

Establishing boundaries can help protect your mental space. Think of them as a protective fence. Set specific times for family discussions or retreat to a quiet space during arguments. Politely inform your parents that you need personal time to decompress and focus on your well-being.

Self-care is essential. It refuels your energy and strength to face challenges. Engage in hobbies and activities that bring joy and relaxation, like reading, exercising, or spending time with friends. Dedicate time each week for these activities to maintain your mental health.

Lastly, seeking professional help is crucial. A therapist can act as your mental health coach, guiding you through complex family dynamics. Therapy provides a safe space to process emotions and develop coping strategies. Regular sessions can help you explore feelings, learn stress management techniques, and build resilience. Prioritizing your mental health is essential, and taking proactive steps can significantly improve your overall well-being.

I’m a 35-year-old man. For the last 10-15 years, I have constantly worried that something bad might happen. I seek advice from many people about my problems, but I struggle to trust their perspectives and can’t decide what to do. Even after solving problems, I don’t feel happy and quickly start worrying about new issues, feeling sad again. My mind fixates on problems, preventing me from taking definitive actions or sticking to my decisions because I fear there might be more problems. What should I do?

Answered by Kapil Sharma, counseling psychologist, Nepal Institute of Mental Health 

Constant worry, indecision, and an inability to feel content even after resolving problems might be signs of Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). For those with GAD, managing worries can be incredibly tough, impacting everyday decisions and overall well-being. These worries often span many areas of life and can feel overwhelming without a clear reason. People with GAD often tend to expect the worst, thinking that one negative event means more are on the way. This mindset can make it hard to trust others’ advice and make decisions, leading to more anxiety and inaction.

If you’re dealing with GAD, mindfulness and relaxation techniques can help. Practices like deep breathing, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation can calm your mind and reduce anxiety by keeping you focused on the present. Structured decision-making can also be effective. Listing pros and cons, setting deadlines, and seeking advice from fewer people can prevent feeling overwhelmed. Creating a clear plan for decision-making can bring clarity and direction.

Engaging in activities that bring joy and fulfillment is crucial. Practices like deep breathing, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation can help calm your mind and reduce anxiety by keeping you focused on the present. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a highly effective treatment for GAD. It helps identify and challenge distorted thinking, promoting healthier thought patterns. A trained therapist can provide tools to manage your anxiety and make more confident decisions, helping reframe catastrophic thoughts into more balanced perspectives and reducing worry.

Seeking professional support from a trained mental health specialist is essential for successfully treating GAD. With the correct treatment and support, you can learn to manage your anxieties, make confident decisions, and live a more rewarding life. Consulting with a psychologist or psychiatrist who can provide individualized support and, if necessary, medication to help control your anxiety is highly recommended.

Taking preventative measures can dramatically improve your mental health and well-being. Seeking treatment is a sign of strength and the first step towards a healthier, more balanced existence.