Submit your Article

As Dashain is approaching I’m concerned about my parents, especially my mom. They start taking unnecessary pressure about getting ready to receive guests and perhaps impress them as well. It makes for a stressful environment at home. How can I ease the pressure and tell them to relax? 

Answered by Tashi Phunjo Gurung, counseling psychologist

Your concern shows what a caring and considerate child you are to your parents. It’s nice to see that your heart is in the right place, especially during festivals, which can be exciting and daunting at the same time.

It’s not uncommon to hear and see people take the pressure due to the expectation of hosting relatives and preparing a feast. It’s a huge thing to be responsible for and it can get stressful. The brunt of the work might, no doubt, fall on mothers, so it’s natural for them to feel responsible and ensure that everything goes perfectly. This certainly can get overwhelming.

Like any other tasks, the more we plan, the less pressure we might feel. We can involve them in planning for the tasks early, so that it doesn’t become pressurizing at the last minute. Breaking the tasks into smaller, manageable steps can be much easier. Moreover, you can always let them know that you can assist with the preparations, whether it’s cooking, cleaning or organizing. This would certainly ease a lot of their stress. 

It’s also important to align our expectations accordingly. We have to set boundaries about how much we can and can’t do. It’s okay to scale down the celebration or even simplify the feast. Dashain is more about the family, rather than the activities, and it’s certainly okay if things are not perfect. We can acknowledge their hard work, and let them know that it’s okay to relax and enjoy the festival too. Give them the reassurance that the focus is on spending time together, not impressing others. This can cause a shift in perspective to actually consider Dashain as a time for enjoyment.

Reminding ourselves and others that Dashain is about family, joy and togetherness, and not about perfection or impressing others can make a lot of difference. By planning ahead, offering support, and emphasizing quality time over elaborate preparations, we can help lessen the stress, and create a more enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

I’m 24, and lately, I’ve been feeling stuck. Every time I open Instagram or scroll through TikTok, I get hit by a wave of inadequacy. I see people my age, even younger, traveling, getting promotions, starting businesses, and I can’t help but feel like I’m falling behind. Logically, I know everyone’s just posting their best moments, but I still compare myself to them. Their lives look perfect, while mine feels ordinary. I keep asking myself, “Why not me?” and “What am I doing wrong?” I’ve tried cutting back on social media, but it’s hard to stop. It feels like I’m constantly competing and losing. What should I do?

Answered by Kapil Sharma, counseling psychologist at BETTER MIND

You’re not alone—many people are facing this challenge. Social media can also make things harder. The reasons for this could be many, but one major factor might be the comparison trap. In a comparison trap, there is an inner desire or drive to evaluate yourself against others. It’s natural to compare your abilities and achievements with others. But when you idealize someone or compare yourself to an unrealistic standard, this can create an inferiority complex.

The second one is the fear of missing out. This means feeling like others are living a more fulfilling life while you’re stuck. When your friends are traveling, posting photos, celebrating milestones, and you feel like you’re stuck in your routine, it leads to feelings of inadequacy.

I would suggest being intentional about who you follow and what you watch on social media. If certain accounts make you feel jealous or lead to unhealthy comparisons, consider muting or unfollowing them. Instead, follow accounts that promote self-acceptance and body positivity. You can also manage your social media notifications, setting specific times when you’ll use and avoid using social media. Use awareness apps to track your social media usage.

Be mindful of what you consume on social media and limit your screen time. If it’s not benefiting you, try other activities. For example, if you watch TikTok for 30 minutes and feel drained, note this in a journal. Then next time, decide on an alternative activity. This helps prepare you for future situations. For example, if you’re working on an assignment but feel the urge to check your phone, ask yourself why you feel helpless or why you aren’t focusing on your own progress.

Just being aware of these issues is a big step. You’ll start noticing what’s not working for you and where you need to make changes. Practicing gratitude can also help—focusing on small things that make you happy and being grateful for them. If social media affects your emotional health, take note of where you feel controlled or helpless.

Social media management is not just a technical issue, it’s an emotional regulation issue. If it were purely technical, everyone would experience the same feelings. But it’s not just about the tools, it’s about emotion management. Instead of seeking external validation, focus on internal fulfillment and personal growth. If you’re struggling to regulate your behavior and emotion regarding social media usage, consider talking to a therapist to guide you through it.

I have been feeling really depressed lately. I’m thinking a lot about my education, career, and future. To top things off, my relationship with my family isn’t that great either. How can I help myself from feeling unloved and stop over thinking? How can I start prioritizing myself first and maintain good relations with those around me?

Answered by Aditya Dangol, Psychosocial Counselor

First of all, I’m glad that you reached out and talked about what you’ve been going through. I’m unsure about your age but I assume that you are a young adult who is currently working as well as studying since you’ve mentioned career and education. It seems that you have multiple areas of your life that have been impacting you mentally and emotionally. It’s pretty natural for many young adults to stress about their future, especially while trying to juggle studies and career. It’s important for us to understand the root causes of these distressing thoughts and feelings.

For instance, much of the education and future stress stems from uncertainty. The uncertainty of finding a proper job with appropriate income, enough to sustain not only us but our families has been found to be the most prominent stressor. In the context of Nepal, the issue of scope and sustainability in a particular field causes much stress. There is additional stress when our desired choice of field doesn’t align with what our family expects from us.

Identifying the root cause of your career, education and future related stress can help you manage or even remove it. If it’s a case of lack of family support in your choice of career, it might be necessary to set boundaries and assertively communicate your desires, rather than avoid it due to fear of conflict. The same can be said for other issues with family members. Proper communication and asserting our boundaries can help us establish better relationships. A therapist might be able to help in identifying what boundaries have been encroached, how to set them, and assertively communicate your thoughts and emotions.

Each individual has his own way of experiencing and giving love. Some people show love by helping their loved ones and feel loved when their loved ones do the same. Not having a sense of reciprocation in this regard can cause people to feel unloved. A need to excessively show love to others can leave us feeling empty and unloved when they are not responded to with similar energy. It’s always healthy to communicate your feelings. If you feel hesitant and unsure, it’s nice to talk to someone you trust before you communicate. This might even help you improve and even nurture your relationships.

When we are able to communicate our feelings, whether they are generally positive such as love or excitement or happiness or negative feelings such as frustration, anger, hurt or disappointment, it allows us to feel a sense of self-prioritization. When we are able to communicate our boundaries assertively, it helps us boost our self-esteem and feeling of self-worth.

Learning and executing all of these things might be helpful but please understand that you don’t need to do it all by yourself. Seeking help in figuring the root causes of your issues and their solutions can help heal.

I have issues with body image. I have always been a chubby child but now as a teenager, many of my friends and relatives make fun of me. They say I’m fat and I feel bad. I don’t want to go out and meet anyone. I fear being ridiculed. I try not to eat too much and sometimes I even try to make myself vomit the food I ate. I don’t feel good. I don’t know what’s happening with me and I think I need help.

Answered by Dr Rika Rijal, consultant psychiatrist

I understand that it must be very difficult for you and it sounds like you are facing a very challenging and distressing issue related to body image, which is a problem many young people are facing in today’s world. The feelings you’re experiencing are signs that your mental and physical health might be under continuous stress.

First and foremost, the criticism you’re receiving from others about your body can deeply affect self-esteem, especially during adolescence, a time when body image plays a major role in shaping identity. However, their comments don’t define your worth, and it’s important to recognize that body diversity is normal and healthy.

You said you are trying to restrict yourself from eating and making yourself vomit. This is concerning, as it may indicate the early signs of an eating disorder, such as bulimia nervosa or anorexia nervosa, both of which can have serious long-term health effects. These behaviors—whether it’s withdrawing from social situations, restricting food intake, or inducing vomiting (self-purging behavior)—often stem from a desire to regain control in situations where you feel powerless or overwhelmed by others’ opinions. But rather than providing relief, these actions can lead to emotional and physical harm, making it even more difficult to feel good about yourself.

When shame or anxiety around appearance becomes overwhelming, it’s common to avoid social contact, but this often worsens feelings of loneliness and sadness. You might also be experiencing anxiety or depression, both of which are common among people dealing with body image concerns.

Do you need help? Absolutely. What you’re going through is very real, and the emotional pain you’re feeling deserves proper support. I encourage you to talk to a trusted adult—a parent or teacher—who can help guide you to professional support with a mental health professional. They can help you explore the feelings, challenge unhealthy thoughts around food and body image, and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

You don’t have to go through this alone. Reaching out for help is the first step toward healing, and it can lead to a better understanding of both your emotional and physical well-being.