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As the constant stream of Covid-19 news is getting increasingly overwhelming and stressful, parents who find their kids at home because of the closed schools have two important tasks: communicating about the virus with their children, and engaging them productively at home.

Children are hearing about the coronavirus cases from media and people around them as much as the adults are, and they see parents in distress and confusion about dealing with this unprecedented situation. Because of this, children may find their heads full of questions related to the virus and the outbreak. And with no one else in their immediate surrounding, they frequently turn to their parents to clear up these queries. In a situation like this one, it is important for the parents to answer their questions and address their worries.

The Harvard Health blog suggests that parents should provide just enough information about the virus, should model calmness, and limit news exposure on the coronavirus. Parents should take care to answer the questions children have, but not give too much information as it may add to their anxiety. Children can imagine elaborately and it is important to keep the information they receive clear, concise, and presented in a way they understand.

Several websites and blogs offer help in communicating with children, according to age groups. Some of the most important suggestions include:

• When a person sneezes or coughs, the virus can come out of their body into the air and enter other people’s body. So it is necessary to maintain a distance of six feet with people other than your family members.
• You should sneeze or cough into your handkerchief, tissue, or into your elbow. If everyone does this, then the virus from sick people cannot get into other person’s body.
• It is important to sanitize your hands or wash them with soap and water regularly to stop the virus from entering your body. You can sing ‘Sayaun thunga phoolka haami’ or ‘Happy Birthday to you’ (or any of your favorite song for at least 20 seconds) while washing hands with soap and water.
• Don’t worry! Virus cannot enter your body if you practice good health behaviors (discussed above) and so it cannot harm you.

Besides answering children’s questions appropriately, parents should remain calm themselves as children model them. Children also imitate adult response to issues so parents should avoid reading the news on corona when children are around to avoid anxious encounters. If a child is repeatedly asking questions about coronavirus, it might be an indication of anxiety and reassurance seeking behavior. Parents should calmly listen to their questions, no matter how many times, and could repeat the above responses in their own words. Seeking help from therapists, when available, can be helpful.

Besides keeping children safe and aware of the situation regarding corona, it is also important to engage them at home, particularly when going out is not an option. Children want to be useful and they love being involved in chores, so giving them responsibility for things they can do is a great way not just to keep them engaged but also to make them feel valued and useful. For example, parents can ask children to invite family members for food, help in preparing and serving food, doing dishes, cleaning and decorating the house, and help in gardening (e.g. carrying things, watering plants). Parents with access to internet can also locate online engagement opportunities like story-telling sessions, art sessions, music lessons, to name a few I have come across through social media.

Playing games can be a great option not only to engage children but also adults. Neuroscience research shows that when individuals, regardless of age, engage in play their bodies release ‘feel good’ hormones like endorphins, oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin. These hormones are linked to reduced stress and improved mood, which can help everyone cope with this pandemic better.

Spending time with children (through play or involvement in doing chores) also has long-term benefits. Research shows that when parents and children spend time together, children build self-esteem, cultivate positive behaviors, develop comfort around parents to share any problems they might be facing, and increase help seeking behavior. Spending time together also strengthens family bonds and facilitates communication.

Hence not all is grim about the current state of affairs caused by Covid-19; it can be an opportunity to take a break from the fast paced lives we lead, breath deeply, and foster family relationships; engaging with children can create ample opportunities for the same.

The author is a PhD Scholar in Social Work at Boston College, USA. He holds a Masters in Social Work with Families and Children

Silence is powerful. It saves you from lies. But more importantly, it takes you to the truth.

By silence, I mean not merely refraining from talking. It is something deeper. It is allowing your mind to settle down and freeing it from worldly noise. Words are often carriers of that noise. In silence, externally there is an absence of talk and internally there is calm of mind.

Of course we need words to live our everyday lives. We need to talk in some way. But that is only for the sake of convenience.

Reality is almost always distorted when we try to express it in words. If you say ice-cream is sweet, some truth of the ice-cream’s taste is lost already. For me it may be sweet like chocolate, for my mother it may be sweet like honey, and for a farmer in Sarlahi it may be sweet like the sugarcane he grows. For a nomadic Raute of Jajarkot, it will just be some incomprehensible sound.
The truth of ice-cream’s taste can never be fully told in words. It has to be tasted.

Likewise, every reality that we talk about can only be partially expressed in words. To understand it properly, we have to experience it in the depths of our minds. Words have no place there. The same applies to this piece of writing. It can only partially point to a tiny aspect of truth.
We can try using qualifiers. To make people understand what sweet means, we may say ‘sweet like the toffee you had yesterday’. But again there is a problem. If I had a sour mood yesterday, the ice-cream’s sweetness would be ‘unpleasant’ for me. If I was suffering from mouth ulcers and couldn't properly taste the toffee, then the ice-cream’s sweetness would be ‘dull’.

So the best way to tell the truth about the ice-cream is to let people taste it! But we still need to use words; they can at least give people some idea about reality.
Enlightened masters have always used silence to tell the truth about things deep and profound. Ramana Maharshi was famous for his silence. He answered people’s questions without speaking a word. People would just sit in front of him with a hundred questions in their brains. After a while they would get their answers. There was no utterance of words. There are many instances when people went to the Buddha with questions, and they got answers when the Buddha just meditated in silence.

At their best, words may be imperfect pointers to the truth. Isn’t it a good idea that we take them for what they are worth?

Covid-19 has sent over a third of the world population under some type of lockdown. It’s a global pandemic already. And common sense tells us it will soon be a major global stressor. Don’t believe me?

Try a simple Google search about coping with coronavirus, and you will find hundreds of results about anxiety, fear, depression, and mental health. Many of them lead to suggestions for doing some physical exercise, eating healthy, practicing meditation and compassion, and keeping a positive attitude, to stay fit during these stressful times.

On a 9-point advice to its personnel to maintain wellbeing during Covid-19 scare, the United Nations recommends keeping things in perspective and practicing mindfulness. “A good antidote to adversity is kindness and compassion,” it says. For stress-reduction, it advises to “set aside time for relaxation,” and do “spiritual practice, if any.”

Body-mind connect

Physical health very much depends on a healthy mind, and vice-versa. One cannot separate them. As the World Health Organization puts it, “Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.” In Eastern spiritual systems, the second factor—mental wellbeing—precedes everything else. Dhammapada, a basic Buddhist text, starts with the verse: “All that we perceive are preceded by the mind; they have mind as their chief; they are mind-made.”

Mayo Clinic, a leading American health non-profit, says mental illness results in complications like weakened immune system, heart disease, and other medical conditions. It means a growing anxiety will lead to weakened immunity. Evidently, nobody would like that at a time of a pandemic.

The science behind it

Famed American neuro scientist Richard Davidson says the practices of mindfulness and loving-kindness influence our minds, brains, and bodies in ways that promote mental wellbeing as well as physical health. “Meditating for mental wellbeing can be similar to a routine job that we do for our physical wellbeing. We take care of our minds as part of personal mental hygiene, just as we all brush our teeth every day,” Davidson had told me some time ago.

Davidson, who has found through laboratory research that mediation can slow ageing, says: “When it comes to physical health, there is more good news: small improvements in the molecular markers of cellular aging seem to emerge with just thirty hours of the practice of mindfulness and loving-kindness.” But the practice, nevertheless, needs to be sustained for tangible results.

Davidson has studied the brains of meditators extensively to understand the effects of meditation on personal wellbeing. In Altered Traits, a book he co-authored with Daniel Goleman, he refers to studies on the application of meditation methods to treat patients with mental health problems. “The findings show that meditation can lead to decreases in depression [particularly severe depression], anxiety, and pain—about as much as medications but with no side effects.”

‘Let go’ but don’t give up

“Due to the coronavirus, everybody has a lot of fear, panic, and anxiety,” says Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, a noted meditation teacher and Buddhist master. “But the most important thing is our mindset and how we think about this. This virus is breaking out around the world, and many people are having many problems and difficulties,” Rinpoche adds. “We must accept the situation and ‘let go’. But we never give up.”

Likening our lives to the waves of the ocean, Rinpoche says we can gain a lot of insight from the ups and downs that exist not only in our lives but in the society and the world.

“We can grow a lot. The important thing is not to give up. If we give up, we cannot learn, we cannot grow, we cannot find a solution, and we do not know what to do. Rinpoche advises people to follow expert advice on healthcare. “You need to maintain hygiene. Wash hands. Take enough rest. Doing physical exercise is very important,” he says. “Be carefree, not careless. Follow the advice.”

“And meditation is really important. You can do the simple exercise of watching your breath or your bodily sensations. When in worry, this awareness is quite good. Sometimes it seems to get worse, but actually it will be getting better.”

“We all have great potential. Everybody has wisdom, love and compassion, awareness, and skills,” Rinpoche adds. “Try making best use of these.”

Meditating via Google Hangouts

Most yoga and meditation classes in Kathmandu closed after Covid-19 became a pandemic. But the students of Mingyur Rinpoche in Nepal have found a new way to keep meditation going even during the lockdown. Fionnuala Shenpen, a meditation facilitator based in Kathmandu, has started hosting meditation sessions using Google Hangouts after the lockdown was imposed on March 24. Shenpen is associated with Tergar International, a global organization that follows Mingyur Rinpoche’s teachings.

“We are limited to our homes, so we’re all on sort of home retreat now,” says Shenpen. She says it is the perfect time to work on one’s meditation practice, adding that it can really help if one is feeling anxious. “As we cannot meet in person, connecting online with others is a great way to alleviate our sense of isolation without breaking the self-isolation rules,” she tells APEX. “It’s so nice to meet everyone without any risk!”

Rashmi KC, a World Bank consultant and a coordinator of Tergar meditation group in Kupondole, has also moved her group online. She too is using Google Hangouts to lead sessions along with Shenpen.

“Our participants have welcomed it as an opportunity to be aware under difficult circumstances. They have told me that it helps them expand awareness into their daily lives, like while they are working in the kitchen.”

“I think we need it more than at any other time. For me, continuation of practice in this crisis is important,” KC adds. “These tough times remind that life is uncertain and we need to learn to embrace it in all its manifestations.”

Spiritual deepening

A major trigger of stress is uncertainty about the future. Things may change not the way we like. The problem lies not in the change itself, but our skewed views about the change. According to Buddhist teachings, ignorance about constantly changing nature of things is a major human stressor. Things keep changing whether we want them to change or not. When they change not the way we want, we feel suffering, we feel unhappy, says Venerable Burin Thitakusalo, executive director of The Middle Way Meditation Institute, a New York-based global non-profit organization.

“Now the world is suffering due to coronavirus, which is a big change from the normal times. But this is not the first time humanity is facing the inevitable change and pain. And we must choose to learn something from this pain, not only suffer from it,” he says while talking to APEX.

But how not to suffer when the world is facing its worst crisis in recent history? How to find that mental calm? “We need to practice mindfulness to let go of grief and sorrow caused by changes,” advises Thitakusalo. Mindfulness makes our minds clearer and brighter, and once that happens, we will find peace and wisdom to respond to the coronavirus crisis, he adds.

Of course we need to find ways to make things better, not worse. Referring to the old saying ‘pain is inevitable, suffering is optional’, the Thai monk and meditation teacher offers guidance: “This is the time the whole world has slowed down. Maybe it is a good to practice spiritual deepening in this time of social distancing.”

“In the end, we might become wiser and stronger to face any future challenge,”Thitakusalo concludes.

Top Nepali government officials, including the deputy prime minister and the foreign minister, are unhappy with India. They have a problem with India’s ‘underhand approach’ in dealing with India-based Nepali migrant workers now headed for Nepal. When India is under an official lockdown, and all long-distance travel has been forbidden, why is it allowing thousands of Nepali migrants to travel to the Indo-Nepal border? This reminds many Nepali officials of the refugee crisis back in the 1990s, when India gave a safe passage into Nepal to 100,000 Nepali-speaking Bhutanese nationals.

Yet there is a fundamental difference in the Bhutanese refugee crisis and what is happening right now. India undoubtedly played a dubious role in the refugee crisis. Given its vast sway over the Bhutanese government, it could have put pressure on Thimpu to stop ethnic violence against the Nepali-speaking Lhotshampas and to adjust them peacefully. It didn’t. Right now, it is the case of Nepali citizens wanting to come back to their country, which they have every right to do. It is also hard to accuse the Indian government of bad intent when India is itself struggling to stop the massive movements of people inside its own borders.

The traditionally checkered relations between India and Nepal, and especially the 2015-16 blockade, makes Nepalis deeply mistrust New Delhi. As Kathmandu has of late enhanced its ties with Beijing, the government in Nepal has also been rather bold in its anti-India proclamations. Yet, at its root, what the recent problem between India and Nepal highlights is the depth in their relations, which may have both positive as well as negative consequences.

India is very familiar to most Nepalis, which makes them think they understand the country: its strengths, its weaknesses, and its compulsions. We may not all like the Indians, but familiarity builds a level of trust. It is hard for us to similarly view the Chinese whose ways of life can seem alien. Incidents like the supply of substandard anti-corona kits further tarnishes China’s image here. Could the Chinese government have ensured only the best kits were sent to Nepal? Perhaps.

I don’t think China had a malicious intent, though. More likely, there was a gap in communication between the two sides, something that has long been a salient feature of Nepal-China relations. The Nepali side says it wants something, the Chinese think the Nepalis are asking for something else, and the outcome is a disaster. Only in few years have there been real efforts to understand the Chinese—and trust is not something you can build overnight.  

When the corona pandemic is over, there is likely to be considerable global backlash against China for its mishandling of the Wuhan crisis. This backlash will often border on xenophobia. Both the governments of Nepal and China have to be mindful that this xenophobia is kept in check. Nothing right now is more important than opening up more lines of communication between the two countries, and to minimize disinformation. Nepal-China ties can never be comparable to Nepal-India ties. But there is no reason we cannot better understand China.