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Silence is powerful. It saves you from lies. But more importantly, it takes you to the truth.

By silence, I mean not merely refraining from talking. It is something deeper. It is allowing your mind to settle down and freeing it from worldly noise. Words are often carriers of that noise. In silence, externally there is an absence of talk and internally there is calm of mind.

Of course we need words to live our everyday lives. We need to talk in some way. But that is only for the sake of convenience.

Reality is almost always distorted when we try to express it in words. If you say ice-cream is sweet, some truth of the ice-cream’s taste is lost already. For me it may be sweet like chocolate, for my mother it may be sweet like honey, and for a farmer in Sarlahi it may be sweet like the sugarcane he grows. For a nomadic Raute of Jajarkot, it will just be some incomprehensible sound.
The truth of ice-cream’s taste can never be fully told in words. It has to be tasted.

Likewise, every reality that we talk about can only be partially expressed in words. To understand it properly, we have to experience it in the depths of our minds. Words have no place there. The same applies to this piece of writing. It can only partially point to a tiny aspect of truth.
We can try using qualifiers. To make people understand what sweet means, we may say ‘sweet like the toffee you had yesterday’. But again there is a problem. If I had a sour mood yesterday, the ice-cream’s sweetness would be ‘unpleasant’ for me. If I was suffering from mouth ulcers and couldn't properly taste the toffee, then the ice-cream’s sweetness would be ‘dull’.

So the best way to tell the truth about the ice-cream is to let people taste it! But we still need to use words; they can at least give people some idea about reality.
Enlightened masters have always used silence to tell the truth about things deep and profound. Ramana Maharshi was famous for his silence. He answered people’s questions without speaking a word. People would just sit in front of him with a hundred questions in their brains. After a while they would get their answers. There was no utterance of words. There are many instances when people went to the Buddha with questions, and they got answers when the Buddha just meditated in silence.

At their best, words may be imperfect pointers to the truth. Isn’t it a good idea that we take them for what they are worth?

Covid-19 has sent over a third of the world population under some type of lockdown. It’s a global pandemic already. And common sense tells us it will soon be a major global stressor. Don’t believe me?

Try a simple Google search about coping with coronavirus, and you will find hundreds of results about anxiety, fear, depression, and mental health. Many of them lead to suggestions for doing some physical exercise, eating healthy, practicing meditation and compassion, and keeping a positive attitude, to stay fit during these stressful times.

On a 9-point advice to its personnel to maintain wellbeing during Covid-19 scare, the United Nations recommends keeping things in perspective and practicing mindfulness. “A good antidote to adversity is kindness and compassion,” it says. For stress-reduction, it advises to “set aside time for relaxation,” and do “spiritual practice, if any.”

Body-mind connect

Physical health very much depends on a healthy mind, and vice-versa. One cannot separate them. As the World Health Organization puts it, “Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.” In Eastern spiritual systems, the second factor—mental wellbeing—precedes everything else. Dhammapada, a basic Buddhist text, starts with the verse: “All that we perceive are preceded by the mind; they have mind as their chief; they are mind-made.”

Mayo Clinic, a leading American health non-profit, says mental illness results in complications like weakened immune system, heart disease, and other medical conditions. It means a growing anxiety will lead to weakened immunity. Evidently, nobody would like that at a time of a pandemic.

The science behind it

Famed American neuro scientist Richard Davidson says the practices of mindfulness and loving-kindness influence our minds, brains, and bodies in ways that promote mental wellbeing as well as physical health. “Meditating for mental wellbeing can be similar to a routine job that we do for our physical wellbeing. We take care of our minds as part of personal mental hygiene, just as we all brush our teeth every day,” Davidson had told me some time ago.

Davidson, who has found through laboratory research that mediation can slow ageing, says: “When it comes to physical health, there is more good news: small improvements in the molecular markers of cellular aging seem to emerge with just thirty hours of the practice of mindfulness and loving-kindness.” But the practice, nevertheless, needs to be sustained for tangible results.

Davidson has studied the brains of meditators extensively to understand the effects of meditation on personal wellbeing. In Altered Traits, a book he co-authored with Daniel Goleman, he refers to studies on the application of meditation methods to treat patients with mental health problems. “The findings show that meditation can lead to decreases in depression [particularly severe depression], anxiety, and pain—about as much as medications but with no side effects.”

‘Let go’ but don’t give up

“Due to the coronavirus, everybody has a lot of fear, panic, and anxiety,” says Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, a noted meditation teacher and Buddhist master. “But the most important thing is our mindset and how we think about this. This virus is breaking out around the world, and many people are having many problems and difficulties,” Rinpoche adds. “We must accept the situation and ‘let go’. But we never give up.”

Likening our lives to the waves of the ocean, Rinpoche says we can gain a lot of insight from the ups and downs that exist not only in our lives but in the society and the world.

“We can grow a lot. The important thing is not to give up. If we give up, we cannot learn, we cannot grow, we cannot find a solution, and we do not know what to do. Rinpoche advises people to follow expert advice on healthcare. “You need to maintain hygiene. Wash hands. Take enough rest. Doing physical exercise is very important,” he says. “Be carefree, not careless. Follow the advice.”

“And meditation is really important. You can do the simple exercise of watching your breath or your bodily sensations. When in worry, this awareness is quite good. Sometimes it seems to get worse, but actually it will be getting better.”

“We all have great potential. Everybody has wisdom, love and compassion, awareness, and skills,” Rinpoche adds. “Try making best use of these.”

Meditating via Google Hangouts

Most yoga and meditation classes in Kathmandu closed after Covid-19 became a pandemic. But the students of Mingyur Rinpoche in Nepal have found a new way to keep meditation going even during the lockdown. Fionnuala Shenpen, a meditation facilitator based in Kathmandu, has started hosting meditation sessions using Google Hangouts after the lockdown was imposed on March 24. Shenpen is associated with Tergar International, a global organization that follows Mingyur Rinpoche’s teachings.

“We are limited to our homes, so we’re all on sort of home retreat now,” says Shenpen. She says it is the perfect time to work on one’s meditation practice, adding that it can really help if one is feeling anxious. “As we cannot meet in person, connecting online with others is a great way to alleviate our sense of isolation without breaking the self-isolation rules,” she tells APEX. “It’s so nice to meet everyone without any risk!”

Rashmi KC, a World Bank consultant and a coordinator of Tergar meditation group in Kupondole, has also moved her group online. She too is using Google Hangouts to lead sessions along with Shenpen.

“Our participants have welcomed it as an opportunity to be aware under difficult circumstances. They have told me that it helps them expand awareness into their daily lives, like while they are working in the kitchen.”

“I think we need it more than at any other time. For me, continuation of practice in this crisis is important,” KC adds. “These tough times remind that life is uncertain and we need to learn to embrace it in all its manifestations.”

Spiritual deepening

A major trigger of stress is uncertainty about the future. Things may change not the way we like. The problem lies not in the change itself, but our skewed views about the change. According to Buddhist teachings, ignorance about constantly changing nature of things is a major human stressor. Things keep changing whether we want them to change or not. When they change not the way we want, we feel suffering, we feel unhappy, says Venerable Burin Thitakusalo, executive director of The Middle Way Meditation Institute, a New York-based global non-profit organization.

“Now the world is suffering due to coronavirus, which is a big change from the normal times. But this is not the first time humanity is facing the inevitable change and pain. And we must choose to learn something from this pain, not only suffer from it,” he says while talking to APEX.

But how not to suffer when the world is facing its worst crisis in recent history? How to find that mental calm? “We need to practice mindfulness to let go of grief and sorrow caused by changes,” advises Thitakusalo. Mindfulness makes our minds clearer and brighter, and once that happens, we will find peace and wisdom to respond to the coronavirus crisis, he adds.

Of course we need to find ways to make things better, not worse. Referring to the old saying ‘pain is inevitable, suffering is optional’, the Thai monk and meditation teacher offers guidance: “This is the time the whole world has slowed down. Maybe it is a good to practice spiritual deepening in this time of social distancing.”

“In the end, we might become wiser and stronger to face any future challenge,”Thitakusalo concludes.

Top Nepali government officials, including the deputy prime minister and the foreign minister, are unhappy with India. They have a problem with India’s ‘underhand approach’ in dealing with India-based Nepali migrant workers now headed for Nepal. When India is under an official lockdown, and all long-distance travel has been forbidden, why is it allowing thousands of Nepali migrants to travel to the Indo-Nepal border? This reminds many Nepali officials of the refugee crisis back in the 1990s, when India gave a safe passage into Nepal to 100,000 Nepali-speaking Bhutanese nationals.

Yet there is a fundamental difference in the Bhutanese refugee crisis and what is happening right now. India undoubtedly played a dubious role in the refugee crisis. Given its vast sway over the Bhutanese government, it could have put pressure on Thimpu to stop ethnic violence against the Nepali-speaking Lhotshampas and to adjust them peacefully. It didn’t. Right now, it is the case of Nepali citizens wanting to come back to their country, which they have every right to do. It is also hard to accuse the Indian government of bad intent when India is itself struggling to stop the massive movements of people inside its own borders.

The traditionally checkered relations between India and Nepal, and especially the 2015-16 blockade, makes Nepalis deeply mistrust New Delhi. As Kathmandu has of late enhanced its ties with Beijing, the government in Nepal has also been rather bold in its anti-India proclamations. Yet, at its root, what the recent problem between India and Nepal highlights is the depth in their relations, which may have both positive as well as negative consequences.

India is very familiar to most Nepalis, which makes them think they understand the country: its strengths, its weaknesses, and its compulsions. We may not all like the Indians, but familiarity builds a level of trust. It is hard for us to similarly view the Chinese whose ways of life can seem alien. Incidents like the supply of substandard anti-corona kits further tarnishes China’s image here. Could the Chinese government have ensured only the best kits were sent to Nepal? Perhaps.

I don’t think China had a malicious intent, though. More likely, there was a gap in communication between the two sides, something that has long been a salient feature of Nepal-China relations. The Nepali side says it wants something, the Chinese think the Nepalis are asking for something else, and the outcome is a disaster. Only in few years have there been real efforts to understand the Chinese—and trust is not something you can build overnight.  

When the corona pandemic is over, there is likely to be considerable global backlash against China for its mishandling of the Wuhan crisis. This backlash will often border on xenophobia. Both the governments of Nepal and China have to be mindful that this xenophobia is kept in check. Nothing right now is more important than opening up more lines of communication between the two countries, and to minimize disinformation. Nepal-China ties can never be comparable to Nepal-India ties. But there is no reason we cannot better understand China.

Growing up in Kathmandu, Buddha’s two eyes were ubiquitous—on shrines, shops, and shirts. I later learned they represent wisdom and compassion. I began to understand the meaning of these concepts much later, through my training in social work and through my wider exposure.

The Cambridge English Dictionary defines compassion as ‘a strong feeling of sympathy and sadness for other people’s suffering or back luck and a desire to help’. According to the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, compassion literally means ‘to suffer together’, and emotion researchers define it as the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve it.

Many movements in the world are based on compassion. Vegetarianism is one that we encounter in day-to-day life. This movement has compassion at its core and argues that vegetarianism is a way to support the inward growth of compassion in people and its outward extension to all animals. A keen observation reveals that all religions of the world have compassion at their heart.

Extending compassion to others uplifts you. “Adding a dose of compassion to someone else’s day not only uplifts their spirits, but makes you feel happier, too,” says Sara Schairer, the Founder and Executive Director of ‘Compassion It’. She adds that even the smallest, most simple gesture can brighten someone’s day and make you feel more connected to others. But J. Krishnamurti, in his book ‘The Whole Movement of Life Is Learning’, argues that compassion is not the doing of charitable acts or social reform; it is rather a freedom from from sentiment, romanticism and emotional enthusiasm. He contends that no new culture or society can come into being without compassion, and it is the essence of wholeness of life.

These highlights on compassion and their importance also raise some important questions: how does compassion work? Are we born with it? Can we grow it? Brene Brown, the famous compassion and vulnerability researcher and author of international bestsellers, says, “Compassion is not a virtue—it is a commitment. It’s not something we have or don’t have—it’s something we choose to practice.” In this pretext, I share my own experience of learning to practice compassion.

In 2015 I had a chance to sit in a Compassion Cultivation Training (CCT) developed at The Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education at Stanford University School of Medicine. The training was being provided under the guidance of Prof Lewis Wall, the founder of the Worldwide Fistula Fund. He has voluntarily and compassionately carried out many successful surgeries on fistula patients in African countries. CCT brings together traditional contemplative understanding and practice of compassion (e.g. Buddhist meditation) and contemporary psychology and scientific research on compassion to help practitioners improve resilience and connection with others, ultimately improving overall wellbeing.

Based on my learning in this training, reading books in the wider area, and teaching and practicing social work, I suggest a few basic, quick and effective tips on cultivating compassion.

Find 20 minutes of interruption-free time each day and focus on two things—breathing and thinking compassionately about people. The mere acts of focusing on breathing (observing the inward and outward flow of air through the nostrils) and thinking compassionately (remembering a happy moment we lived and thanking the people involved, and saying words of compassion to people we love) can help cultivate compassion.

As we continue practicing, we can add more people into our sphere of love and compassion. Cultivating compassion is easy if we begin with people we love and gradually include those we have a neutral opinion about. After some practice we may even forgive the people we think have wronged us and feel compassion for them.

At this point in the write-up, I am conscious of my own standpoint and reflective of my own practicing/not practicing compassion in life. I am acutely aware that I might have knowingly or unknowingly failed to be compassionate. But I believe that cultivating compassion is necessary in our move towards social justice, and thus remind myself to practice compassion. And I urge the readers of this piece to pause, take deep breaths, and extend compassion to the people around.

In the end, I invite you to reflect on this quote by the Dalai Lama: “Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.”

The author is a PhD Scholar in Social Work at Boston College, USA