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I was recently told by the GM of a 4-star that Kathmandu has really good training colleges for hos­pitality. So good in fact that they do not recruit inexperienced staff unless they have done a degree in hospitality at one of them. So maybe that’s the reason why ser­vice in the new hotels and restau­rants is definitely improving. Or am I just going to better places? Winky face!

Years ago, I seem to remember that service with a smile came as part of the deal. Whether a restau­rant or corner shop, the staff seemed happy and smiled. Then somewhere along the way the smile was lost. Could it have been that in the earlier days those staff were the owner’s family? Or perhaps just hap­py-go-lucky youths who didn’t see their working careers in the shop or restaurant, but this was just some­thing along their life path? May­be when working in restaurants, hotels and shops then became a ‘real job’, certainly in the bigger towns and cities, the smiles van­ished, to be replaced by frustra­tion that there seemed nothing better in life.

But now, with good edu­cation, training and mentor­ing, perhaps the youths feel these ‘jobs’ are paths to good careers in hospitality or retail. And the smiles are back! Well, most of the time.

I was horrified to hear from a friend last night what happened to her work colleague from Sri Lanka who was staying in one of the older 4-star hotels. Being obviously Asian and dark she was treated quite indifferently by the staff. Despite the fact she was on the Executive Floor. When her white colleague arrived to stay in the same hotel he was as horrified to see the difference in treatment they received.

I was extremely happy to know, with the help of my friend, that they checked out of that older establishment and into a new­bie in town. A newbie where I know they have a training department and whole training routine for staff so that their stan­dard in Kathmandu remains the same as their standard throughout the world. I assume that involves treating everyone equally. Certainly when I have, frequently, been there, both Nepali friends and non-Nepali friend receive the same level of ser­vice and care.

That same Sri Lankan lady also revealed to my friend that she can­not wear a kurta shalwar on an Asian airline flight. My friend was puzzled, as this is her ‘comfort dress’ for flights. No, replied her Asian colleague, I get better service when wearing jeans and a t-shirt than when wearing traditional dress. Presumably she then looked less ‘vil­lage’ and more ‘modern’. Equality isn’t taught to airline staff then. So could it be where I see smiling faces others do not?

On the other side, I have seen how some people treat waiting staff. On first meeting I will assess you on how you treat the staff. You might not get a second meeting if you treat them badly. That’s not to say I don’t sometimes lose it at waiting or other staff. Shelf stackers in a well-known super market come to mind. And we all know how much I love our local taxi drivers!

But in general, I feel those who have grown up in a culture where class or caste differences are high­lighted and ingrained are at a disad­vantage when it comes to manners. I’m sure you will let me know if you disagree. On the other hand those of us, regardless as to whether we were middle or working class, who had Saturday or holiday jobs when at school, know what it’s like to be on the other side of the counter. And having an after-school job didn’t mean you were necessari­ly poor; it was just what everyone did. It taught us humility and independence at the vital, impres­sionable age. And looking back, it has certainly made us more understanding of servers. With the exception of taxi drivers of course! Another winky face!

Making 2020 resolutions already? Some popular New Year resolutions are to read more books, eat health­ier, spend less money, and to exercise more. Accord­ing to a 2016 study pub­lished in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 55 percent New Year reso­lutions are health-related. But then, how many of us can stick to these resolutions for any amount of time? Around 80 percent of New Year resolutions are broken, according to another study. One of the most frequently broken ones? To quit smoking.

“I want to give up smoking com­pletely in 2020,” says Aakash Khatri, 24, who has been smoking regularly since 2013. He has tried quitting several times. But as almost all his close friends smoke, it is difficult to opt out. “I don’t want to refuse a cigarette when a friend passes me one,” Khatri says. And whenever he is under pressure, the first thing he thinks about is lighting up.

No wonder. A 2016 study in the UK found that quitting smoking is “the most difficult resolution to keep”. Of those who resolved to quit, only four percent were completely off cigarettes a year later.

But when Khatri developed ulcer­ative colitis, an inflammatory bowel disease, in January this year, he slowly started cutting down on his daily cigarette consumption. He started new work and says it took his mind off smoking. Yet he still smokes with friends. “Per­haps 2020 will be the year I quit for good,” he hopes.

Another smoker, Salina Shakya, 30, has also thought of quitting “hun­dreds of times” since 2009 when she started. But she could not go even a day without it. Shakya even bought a vape to help her quit but it was of no help. “Perhaps because my vape didn’t have nicotine,” she muses. Shakya currently has at least six cigarettes a day. “Quitting is diffi­cult but not impossible. Maybe I am not trying hard enough,” she says.

Smoking Facts

• Leads to disease and disability and harms nearly every organ of the body.
• For every person who dies because of smoking, at least 30 people live with a serious smoking-related illness.
• Smoking causes cancer, heart disease, stroke, lung diseas­es, diabetes, and chronic obstructive pulmonary dis­ease (COPD), which includes emphysema and chronic bronchitis.
• Smoking also increases risk for tuberculosis, certain eye diseases, and problems of the immune system, includ­ing rheumatoid arthritis.
• Smoking is a known cause of erectile dysfunction in males.
• Worldwide, tobacco use causes more than 7 million deaths per year.
• On average, smokers die 10 years earlier than non­smokers.

Source: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

What happens when you quit smoking?

• Just 12 hours without a cigarette, the carbon monoxide level returns to normal, increas­ing the body’s oxygen levels.
• One day after quitting smok­ing, a person’s blood pressure begins to drop, decreasing the risk of heart disease from smoking-induced high blood pressure.
• Two days after quit­ting, a person may notice a heightened sense of smell and more vivid tastes as nerves endings heal.
• Around three days after quitting, most peo­ple will experience moodiness and irritability, severe head­aches, and cravings as the body readjusts to depleted nicotine levels.
• After a month, athletic endur­ance increases and former smokers may notice a renewed ability for cardiovascular activities, such as running and jumping.
• One year after quitting smok­ing, a person’s risk for coronary heart disease decreases by half.
• After 10 years, a person’s chances of developing lung cancer and dying from it are roughly cut in half compared with someone who continues to smoke. The likelihood of developing mouth, throat, or pancreatic cancer will be signifi­cantly reduced.
• After 15 years of having quit smoking, the likelihood of develop­ing coronary heart disease and pancreatic cancer is the equivalent of a non-smoker.
• After 20 years, the risk of death from smoking-related causes, including both lung disease and cancer, drops to the level of a person who has never smoked in their life.

Source: Medical News Toda

Distant death

Smoking is among the top three preventable causes of death around the world—a fact most smokers are aware of. Yet most of them still feel helpless.

Archana Bibhor, a psychothera­pist, says there is a psychological reason why people cannot give up smoking. Some are unable to deal with their pain, problems or their emotions and try to find an easy way out, adds Bibhor. Cigarettes are readily available and their negative effects cannot be seen right away. “Slowly, they become dependent,” Bibhor says.

When people give up smoking, they often have to deal with the pain they had been avoiding, says Bibhor. “Unable to deal with the problem, they relapse. And the cycle contin­ues,” she adds.

Those who have emotional bag­gage, have been through trauma, have unstable relationships or careers are more likely to relapse than those who have healthy rela­tionships and feel like they have more control over their lives. “Dif­ferent folks perceive problems differently. Even a small problem can feel like a big deal to some, or vice-versa,” says Bibhor.

For Sabin Pradhan, 25, smoking is a “stress-buster”. He has tried to (unsuccessfully) quit smoking 10 times. In 2013, he used to smoke more than a pack of cigarettes a day. “If I don’t smoke, I get irritated and cranky,” he says. “As my close friends smoke it is hard for me to give up.” Both at the start of 2017 and 2018, his New Year resolution was to quit smoking. Asked if his 2020 resolution is again going to be the same, he says he will never again tell anyone out loud he wants to quit smoking. “I will do it without making a fuss.”

Pradhan wanted to give up smok­ing because he was losing stamina and felt like an “old man”. Some think smoking is cool but once you are hooked, it is hard to give up, he says. “To give up smoking, it is important to have something to distract yourself with or to keep you busy.”

Bibhor, the psychotherapist, stresses that factors such as finance, health, relationship and career also matter when a person tries to quit. Many of her clients promise to quit smoking from New Year, birthday or a particular occasion. Yet they are often unwilling to make the effort. “They just feel like the problem will solve itself,” she says. “Unfortunately, there is no easy way out.”

‘Just do it’

In her long experience Bibhor has found that people who want­ed to give up smoking and started making an effort to stop immediate­ly have been more successful. “You do not have to wait for New Year,” she says.

Take Nikhil Tuladhar, 42, a chron­ic smoker who has not had a ciga­rette in the past 11 years. Tuladhar started smoking when he was just 17 and used to smoke as many as 30 cigarettes a day. “In the 14 years that I smoked, I never thought of quitting even once, until one day,” says Tuladhar, a musician and music teacher. He was at a concert and found himself huffing and puffing from a mix of cold and dust—and all those cigarettes, he reckoned. That day, he decided he would quit. For a week, even when he was at work, the only thing on his mind was a cigarette. But when a week passed, he felt like he could do it.

“I did not realize the negative impact smoking was having on my health,” says Tuladhar. He shares that once he quit smoking, “it was easier to breathe”. His stami­na increased and he had fewer stomach upsets. He says that if he had tried to slowly cut down on cigarettes, he might still be smoking today. “If you want to quit, just do it,” he advises.

Q. A quote you live by?

A. “Find a job you enjoy doing, and you will never have to work a day in your life”.

Q. Something your fans wouldn’t believe about you?

A. My age.

Q. If one of your wishes were to be granted?

A. To always be happy.

Q. What’s the best part of your day?

A. Morning because I make plans for the entire day in the morning.

Q. If you could be anything, what would you be?

A. I am happy the way I am. I would not want to be anything else.

Q. Which place in the world would you like to visit?

A. I would like to go to Paris with my husband.

Q. Who would you like to dance with next?

A. Boogie Woogie 2018 winner Kabita Nepali.

Q. What is one outfit you cannot go wrong with?

A. Bikini.

Q. What is the weirdest thing a fan has ever done for you?

A. There is a guy who came to London to meet me when I was there for an award show. I talked to him and exchanged some messages. But then he started messaging me every day, making a lot of small talk. I like talking to my fans but there is a difference between friends and fans.

LalitpurIn 1982, a 12th-century stone sculpture of Uma Maheshwor went miss­ing from Dhulikhel’s Wotol, Patan. The sculpture was found in Germany’s capital Berlin after three years after an art dealer had sold it to a Berlin museum for around Rs 10 million. The statue has since been repatriated and is now in Patan Museum (see photo, top). This recovered stone sculp­ture, with the portrayal of Shiva and Parvati shown sit­ting closely on Mount Kailash, is highly attractive.

Sandeep Khanal, chief of the monument conserva­tion and palace maintenance section of the Patan Durbar Square, says that the sculpture of Uma Maheshwor was the first to be formally returned to Nepal after its disappear­ance. “This sculpture was offi­cially returned in 2001. But other lost sculptures are still missing,” says Khanal. The process of return of the sculp­ture was initiated after Lain Singh Bangdel, an artist who served as the chancellor of Nepal Academy, published his book Stolen Images of Nepal in 1989.

Some other stolen statues mentioned in Bangdel’s book, and which were taken to var­ious places in Europe and the US, have also been returned since.

In the book, Bangdel cites many stolen sculptures of historical and archeological importance. For instance a 16th-century sculpture of Sit­ting Buddha was stolen from Patan’s Kumbeshwar Kunti­bahi Chaitya in April 1985. Another sculpture of the Sun God that was sculpted in 1083 was stolen in 1985 from Sau­gal in Patan. Bangdel also mentions yet another Uma Maheshwor’s statue from the 10th century going missing sometime in 1960s from Gahiti in Patan. None of these have been recovered.

In 2015, one of the stolen statues Bangdel mentions in his book, that of Lax­mi-Narayan, stolen from Kath­mandu Durbar Square in 1984, had surfaced in New York, and was later exhibited in various places in the US (see the photo collage above).