Submit your Article

“Love is not about finding the perfect person, but about learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” – Sam Keen

Valentine’s Day often brings with it a lightning of emotions, from the excitement of celebrating love to the pressure of meeting expectations. But what if we looked beyond the chocolates and roses? What if we focused on the real essence of love—the kind that nurtures, heals, and grows over time?

Coffee cup promise

Shikha and Raman had been together for six years, their love weathering the highs of shared adventures and the lows of career struggles. One Valentine’s Day, Raman surprised Shikha not with a grand gesture but with a simple, heartfelt promise written on a sticky note stuck to her favorite coffee cup: “I promise to listen more and assume less.”

That note sparked a turning point. They began dedicating time every week to sit down, talk openly, and truly listen to each other’s fears and dreams. Their relationship, once weighed down by misunderstandings, transformed into a safe space where both felt seen and valued. It wasn’t the flowers or the dinner dates that strengthened their bond but the intentional effort to connect deeply.

Psychology of love

Love is a complex emotion that has intrigued psychologists for decades. Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love identifies three components that define a healthy relationship: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Intimacy refers to the emotional bond and closeness shared between partners, passion encompasses physical attraction and desire, and commitment represents the decision to maintain the relationship long-term.

Healthy relationships often find a balance among these components. For example, relationships solely based on passion might burn out quickly, while those focused only on commitment might lack excitement. Understanding this balance can help partners evaluate and strengthen their connection.

Additionally, the attachment theory proposed by John Bowlby highlights how early experiences with caregivers influence adult relationships. Securely attached individuals tend to have healthier and more trusting relationships, while those with anxious or avoidant attachment styles might struggle with intimacy or fear abandonment. Recognizing these patterns can foster self-awareness and empathy within relationships.

Relationship tips for building stronger bonds

1. Prioritize quality time: In today’s fast-paced world, dedicating undivided attention to your partner is invaluable. Simple acts like sharing meals without distractions or taking a walk together can strengthen emotional intimacy.
2. Cultivate shared goals: Working towards common objectives, whether it’s saving for a trip or learning a new hobby, fosters a sense of teamwork and deepens the bond.
3. Respect individuality: While togetherness is important, respecting each other’s individuality and personal space is equally vital. Healthy relationships thrive when both partners maintain their sense of self.

Skills for empathetic communication

Effective communication is the cornerstone of a successful relationship. Empathy, or the ability to understand and share another’s feelings, plays a crucial role in resolving conflicts and building trust. Here are some essential counseling-inspired skills for empathetic communication:

1. Listening matters: Focus entirely on what your partner is saying without interrupting or formulating a response while they speak. Reflect back what you hear to ensure understanding. Example: “It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed with work. Is that right?”
2. Use “I” statements: Express your feelings without blaming your partner to prevent defensiveness. Example: Instead of saying, “You never help around the house,” try, “I feel stressed when I manage all the chores alone.”
3. Validate emotions: Acknowledge your partner’s feelings without judgment, even if you don’t fully agree. Example: “I understand why you felt hurt in that situation. Let’s work through it together.”

Role of gratitude in relationships

Gratitude is a powerful yet often overlooked aspect of healthy relationships. Expressing appreciation for your partner’s actions, qualities, and efforts fosters positivity and mutual respect. Research shows that couples who regularly practice gratitude experience higher levels of satisfaction and are better equipped to navigate challenges.

Here are ways to integrate gratitude into your relationship:

• Daily thank you: Make it a habit to thank your partner for small acts of kindness, such as making coffee or picking up groceries.
• Gratitude journaling: Share moments you’re grateful for at the end of each day to reinforce positive memories.
• Celebrate strengths: Focus on your partner’s strengths rather than their flaws. Highlight what you admire about them regularly.

This Valentine’s Day, let’s move beyond grand gestures and focus on the essence of love—understanding, empathy, and gratitude. Like Shikha and Raman’s journey, love flourishes not in fleeting moments but in the consistent, intentional efforts to connect. 

What simple, intentional promise could you make to a loved one today to foster deeper connection and understanding in your relationship?

Remember, love isn’t just about celebrating one day; it’s about building a lifetime of meaningful connections.

In the quiet corners of Nepal’s bustling cities and serene villages a silent crisis is unfolding. Hidden behind veils of cultural norms, economic hardship and peace, is a chorus of silent cries echoing in the shadows. While the nation takes pride in its rich heritage and culture, resilient people, an alarming number of children and adolescents struggle with their mental health that remain unacknowledged and untreated.

Mental health issues among children in Nepal are on the rise. According to a 2023 report by UNICEF, nearly 20 percent of Nepali children show signs of anxiety, depression and other psychological conditions. Yet, only a few of them receive the help they need. In a society where mental health remains heavily criticized, their children often endure their struggles in silence, their cries enveloped by cultural norms.

Parents often push their children to excel academically, believing success in education is the only pathway to succeed in life. To add to their burden, children are often forced to follow passions or career paths chosen by their parents. They are forced into professions their parents once dreamt of but could never achieve themselves. However, this pressure can lead  to anxiety, depression and even suicidal thoughts. According to a 2022 study by the Nepal Health Research Council, Suicide was the leading cause of death among Nepal youths aged 15 to 24.

One of the most significant barriers in addressing the issue is societal perception of mental health. Many parents, bound by traditional beliefs and limited exposure to psychological conditions, perceive mental health conditions as a sign of weakness or even spiritual imbalance. They even believe it to be karma or some sort of evil spirit. Some parents even unacknowledged their kids’ conditions thinking they are making excuses to hold back from their responsibilities. Furthermore, the cultural emphasis on obedience and respect often leaves little room for children to voice their own dreams or dissent.

This lack of understanding and autonomy from parents is the reason why kids nowadays are distant from their parents. They seek solace elsewhere, their eyes glued to glowing screens, scrolling endlessly through the comfort of social media. They find the sense of belonging in the digital world, the happiness that seems absent at home. The only comfort or understanding they get from their parents is when they score 100 percent on a test or when they do better than some relatives’ kids. They are often called disrespectful or ungrateful when they try to isolate themselves from their parents hoping that would help them or they would find peace .

The consequences of neglect puts an impact on their social , academic and emotional behaviors, with some contemplating  self harm. Children feel like they are screaming underwater, the hidden cries not letting them find the way out. Silent cries are more dangerous than open cries as silent cries affect them from deep inside their heart and brain which leads them self-isolating, losing empathy and hating themselves. 

Despite the challenges, hope is not lost. There are many organizations and activists working tirelessly to break the stigma surrounding mental health in Nepal. But first and foremost, the house environment and family support is necessary and important as home is the place they are suffering most at.. Nepali parents are simply too uneducated about mental health; they neglect the silent cries so awareness should be spread.

Imagine if the proposed Social Media Bill had been in place three years ago. Would Balendra Shah and Sunita Dangol have been able to connect with the public and win the local elections from Kathmandu? While their leadership and vision were strong, social media played a big part in spreading their message and gaining support. If this had been implemented three years ago, would then emerging leaders really be behind bars for voicing their opinions against the government, or would accountability still spare the powerful?

The ease of access to digital platforms has allowed many young politicians to enter the political scene. In Nepal, as of 2023, women hold 33.1 percent, and young people aged 30 or younger make up about 2.9 percent of parliamentary seats. Social media has been a key tool in breaking old rules, increasing political involvement, and driving drastic changes.

The ‘Bill Related to Operation, Use, and Regulation of Social Media in Nepal’ was introduced by Communications Minister Prithvi Subba Gurung in the Upper House on Jan 28. He said it aims to ensure good behavior and responsibility, but it has several worrying parts that challenge basic rights, especially those guaranteed under Articles 17 and 19 of Nepal’s Constitution. As a youth advocate, I still struggle to speak freely in a system that tightens control over digital spaces. This bill doesn’t just regulate—it silences, making it harder to challenge power and uphold the very rights democracy promises.

The recently enacted bill makes us question whether the transparency and accountability push of Sumana Shrestha would have achieved similar backing. The speed at which anti-corruption campaigns and gender justice campaigns for Niramla Pant’s case—today being the 2,386 day—spread across society would potentially have slowed down if this bill were in effect. The new legislation contains restrictive measures that restrict the voices of activists as well as public participation.

Problems with the bill

Section 18: Digital speech criminalizing

Section 18 of the bill says that if anyone does something harmful to national interests with bad intentions that causes hatred among groups or harms relations between federal units, they will face a five-year prison sentence, a fine of up to Rs 500,000, or both.

The definition of “bad intentions,” which is vaguely defined, creates possibilities for unfair enforcement. Under this policy, the authorities could falsely claim protection by countering their bad intentions. My detention could happen when I expressed criticism and opinions about my country's leaders, even if my motives were innocent. Are we not entitled to use our freedom of expression? We live in a democracy, and we have the right to free speech.

As an advocate and leader, will I be jailed simply for raising concerns about the government on social media? Meanwhile, those in power will have the freedom to do anything they want and misuse their authority without consequences. Where is the accountability for government officials who manipulate information and spread propaganda? Is this justice?

Sections 21, 22, and 23: Restricting political expression

Sections 21, 22, and 23 propose up to three years in prison or a fine of up to Rs 1.5m for hacking into someone’s identity or information via social media, tricking people, or blackmailing respectively.

The bill’s unclear language on “making fun of images, trolling, negative comments, and spreading false information” could be used against activists, journalists, and politicians who challenge the government. If I speak up about my village’s struggles, can those in power really accuse me of a crime? Over 50 journalists and activists faced arrest and harassment because of defamation laws in 2023. Activists, especially women fighting for gender equality and political changes, could be labeled as threats simply for demanding change.

This bill does not offer protection—it offers control. If laws are meant to protect democracy, they should safeguard free speech, not make it a crime. We do not need new ways to silence voices—we need real enforcement of existing laws that protect people, not punish them. We need a system that upholds justice, not fear. Will we let our voices be silenced, or will we stand against this growing threat to our democracy?

Section 20 (1): Government control over digital space

Section 20 (1) prohibits the sharing of secret information, potentially stopping journalists and whistleblowers from exposing corruption or governance failures. Instead of holding the powerful accountable, this law protects those in power by making it a crime to speak out. How will citizens ensure openness when the government itself decides what remains “secret”?

Adding to the concern, the government proposes a “Quick Response Team” with unchecked power to act against social media users—an emergency-level mechanism being misused to police opinions rather than respond to genuine crises. Who will monitor this team's actions? What safeguards exist to prevent abuse? In a democracy, should questioning authority be treated as a crime?

The bill enables a surveillance state disguised as regulation. Instead of protecting citizens from real threats, it strips away their right to express, criticize, and demand accountability. Is this the future of digital freedom in our country—where questioning power is outlawed, but those in power can manipulate the system without consequence?

A step backward for women and youths

My efforts to advocate the basic rights of women during my early period of leadership brought me persistent online harassment and opposition, particularly from men living in my community. The new legislation will make no difference unless the current rules receive proper enforcement. We require genuine action, which entails both keeping existing laws in force and holding those responsible for crimes accountable and safeguarding those standing up for justice. The use of legislation should never serve as a tool for denying people their right to disagree. People will not succeed in silencing those who choose to speak out.

For young leaders navigating Nepal’s political landscape, this law presents yet another barrier. Social media has been a powerful equalizer, allowing new voices to challenge established hierarchies. The strict regulation of online platforms, together with tools to silence political opposition, would erase all the recent political progress toward inclusivity. This measure gives the government control of public speech by both scaring citizens into silence and limiting their freedom to speak out.

As a society striving for gender equality, governance openness, and civic empowerment, we must ask: Do we want a future where new leaders are silenced before they even begin?

The internet has become an integral part of daily life, connecting people across the globe and offering a wealth of opportunities. Online security and harassment have grown, especially with the rise of social media use. As digital spaces continue to evolve, it’s important to consider how safe we truly feel while using these platforms. ApEx spoke to three female youths to  reflect on their experiences and the steps they take to safeguard themselves.  

Samira Kiju, 18

I generally feel safe using the internet, but at times, I also feel uneasy. While I haven’t personally experienced any threats, I’ve heard about others facing such issues. To protect myself, I always lock my profiles and avoid sharing personal information as much as possible, posting only a few pictures. I also refrain from sharing my location on social media. I don’t believe that the authorities provide enough protection, as many people face online harassment daily without receiving the support or security they need. This lack of protection puts many people in danger. When it comes to sharing personal details and photos, I only do so with close friends and family, and I keep it to a minimum. I’m not comfortable sharing too much online because photos can easily be misused. 

Anzing Tamang, 20
I generally feel safe while using social media, as I haven’t experienced any significant threats personally. However, I take extra precautions to ensure my online security, such as using complex passwords that are difficult to guess. I believe it’s important not to log into others’ devices or share passwords. I also don’t believe enough protection is taken to prevent online threats or exploitation. While I’m comfortable sharing photos on social media, I avoid sharing personal details, as these platforms are not secure enough for that kind of information. It’s essential to be cautious and use social media carefully. 

Asmita Shrestha, 21

I’ve heard of many cases of online harassment, but I haven’t personally experienced it. I use social media mainly for entertainment, like watching and sharing reels, but I avoid posting personal photos, sharing details, or giving out my passwords because it doesn’t feel safe. In my opinion, full safety is not yet guaranteed in Nepal when it comes to social media.