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Fiction

The Collected Regrets of Clover

Mikki Brammer

Published: 2023

Publisher: Penguin Random House UK

Pages: 314, Paperback

‘The Collected Regrets of Clover’ deals with death, a topic most of us aren’t comfortable with and actively avoid discussing. I didn’t buy it after reading the blurb (I must confess it spooked me a little) but the book kept popping up on my Instagram feed. Many of my close friends had read it (and loved it), as had a few celebrities I follow on the social media platform. Also, the raving reviews on Good Reads made me curious. So, I went back to Ekta Bookstore in Thapathali, Kathmandu, to buy myself a copy.

It is, hands down, the best book I have read in 2023. Since the new year is just a month away, I doubt there will be other contenders for that title. Though the story is about death and accepting the fleetingness of life, it’s also about finding joy in the little things in life, conquering your fears, and the importance of meaningful connections.

Clover is a death doula. She spends time with those who are dying if they have no one to take care of them or if their relatives can’t deal with the practical matters that come with a loved one’s passing, like planning a funeral, etc. Ever since Clover was five and she watched a teacher die while telling her class a story, she has been comfortable with death in a way no one around her is. This makes her a sort of outcast in school. A new girl Clover wants to be friends with actually says it will hurt her image.

In her 30s, with only one (elderly) friend, and no family or romantic partners, Clover is alone in the world. She spends a lot of time with those who are dying and tries to learn a lesson from each one of them. She has notebooks titled ‘Regrets’, ‘Advices’, and ‘Confessions’. Though she actively avoids human connection, you get the sense that she is somewhat craving it too. Then she meets the feisty Claudia who has terminal cancer and is expected to die in a few months. As Clover gets to know Claudia, she slowly learns to reclaim the life she’s lost.

The writing is beautiful. There are phrases and paragraphs that I reread one too many times. ‘Grief is just love looking for a place to settle’ is one of my favorite lines from the book. The characters are crafted well. Clover, Leo, Sebastian, Claudia, and the others all have distinct personalities. You enjoy getting to know them and their quirks. It’s an enjoyable read and the story makes you realize the importance of living without inhibitions and taking chances.

After birth, how does a human being stay safe? How long will the individual’s life be? And how does the moment of death arrive? These three questions remain enigmatic. They are explored in a tale penned by the esteemed English author, Leo Tolstoy.

The mysteries of life are abundant, yet not everyone chooses to address them. Some quietly relish life, while others share it with their families, friends and loved ones. Even when faced with the loss of grandparents or parents, we often limit ourselves to a brief reflection. Writing a book on death necessitates courage. Tulasi Acharya, in his work titled ‘Mrityu Diary’, meaning the diary of death, exhibits the courage to delve into the subject of death, the accompanying loss, grief and the transformation of sorrow into a creative force.

Dr Acharya, the author, has inspired others like him to share their diverse experiences. He has made individual experiences public, creating a history of family events. His contribution is noteworthy. What he has penned in ‘Mrityu Diary’ has become universally relatable. Every moment of life can be seen as a moment of impending death for an individual. With each passing moment, we also experience a kind of internal demise.

This is a universal truth we all encounter. When viewed from this perspective, every person is essentially writing a book, however small, within their finite time. Those who make life extraordinary for themselves should explore the concept of a ‘sharing culture’. In this regard, the author has excelled. 

Time has the capacity to change life, but life cannot alter time. These words resonate deeply within his book.

A person might easily forget that one day they will leave everything behind. However, when one comprehends the realities of life, they cease to be selfish. Individuals in positions of power may believe they are integral to society, but when the day arrives for them to relinquish that power, they become akin to shooting the stars in the sky.

Serious illness, confinement to a hospital bed, or grappling with a deadly disease can drastically alter one’s perspective on life. Acharya’s ‘Mrityu Diary’ delves into this aspect. Dennis author Hans Christian Andersen once said, “Living is not enough; one must have freedom, sunshine, and a little flower.” Of course, perspectives can change, especially in the context of illness. In the book, Resham Lal’s life serves as an inspiration and aids in our comprehension of life and death.

Life is an ongoing battle against death, and escaping death is no easy feat. The book provides a poignant example of how a surgeon, who encounters death daily, must also confront his own mortality. It sheds light on the experiences of family members who perform cremations in the crematorium, the moments they endure, and the agony they face. Death visits everyone, sooner or later.

This is the story of Resham and Geeta, and more importantly, the story of their daughters Kripa and Suman, as well as the tale of all individuals who have confronted death. The book delves into human emotions and practical life experiences when facing death, with the lesson that death doesn't always bring curses; it can also bestow blessings. Every page of the book resonates with the hearts of its readers.

Reading this book feels like watching a movie, thanks to its vivid presentation. It's like savoring a well-prepared dish, each bite tingling with anticipation of what comes next. This suspenseful narrative creates tension and captivates the reader wholeheartedly. These questions ignite the reader’s curiosity. The author also encourages open discourse about death. He candidly shares his own experiences regarding sex, life and death.

The author’s honesty in revealing his findings is apparent, leaving nothing concealed in his narrative. He provides readers with two dimensions—one of emotions and the other of local colloquialism in writing and dialogues. This blend adds to the book’s enjoyment as the colors mix and merge seamlessly. Readers can easily absorb and appreciate the various facets of death, allowing them to arrive at their own conclusions.

The author’s prowess shines as he steps out of his familial context and delves into the wider world. He covers topics like cancer, its various types, chemotherapy, the deaths of many individuals related to it, and various personalities discussing the subject. This lends his writing a unique dimension.

The book also  chronicles the lives of those who are still living and the hardships they have endured. It imparts the ultimate truth after birth to them as well. The author has transformed his personal subjects and characters into 'universal' figures. Even in the lives of survivors, ‘Mrityu Diary’ imparts valuable lessons.

In Jessamine Chan’s debut novel, ‘The School for Good Mothers,’ we meet Frida Liu, a 39-year-old single mother, who is overworked and struggling to stay on top of her personal and professional duties. Then one day, in an insomnia-induced irrational state, she leaves her 18-month-old daughter Harriet alone at home for two hours. She has to go to the office to retrieve a file.

Next thing she knows, she’s being hauled into police custody for child abandonment. Her daughter is handed over to her ex-husband and his partner. But Frida isn’t a bad mother. She just had a bad moment. Even when she tries to repent and convince the ‘authorities’ that she loves Harriet and won’t repeat her mistake, everything she does is interpreted as evidence of her negligence and incompetence.

She is eventually sent to a place that teaches women how to be good mothers. The crimes of the other mothers range from testing positive for marijuana use to letting her child play alone. Each woman is assigned a robotic child and she must practice her parenting skills—hugging (for not a second too long or less), kissing, maintaining eye contact, etc.—with it.

In order to get Harriet back, Frida has to be able to show those in charge that she is capable of putting her child before her in all instances by loving the robot like it’s her child. But it’s not easy. The robot is programmed to be difficult and it sends recorded data to the authorities. The ‘experimental rehab facility’ with cameras everywhere is like a prison and the tiniest violation of rules can lead to permanent termination of parental rights. There is no way to win but countless ways in which you could be deemed an unfit parent.

The School for Good Mothers isn’t a horror novel. But you will be spooked nonetheless. It has a chilling dystopian feel to it that makes you shudder. It makes you question the unnecessary societal burden of expectations that’s put primarily on the mothers. Why are women expected to be at the top of their game when it comes to nurturing? Do they have to love being a parent all the time or are they allowed to be tired and maybe even crib about how draining it is once in a while?

The book is reminiscent of Margaret Atwood’s ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’. Those who have enjoyed reading Kazuo Ishiguro’s ‘Never Let Me Go’ will enjoy Chan’s The School for Good Mothers as there are many similarities between the two stories. But I suggest you go into it with an open mind as many instances will have you rolling your eyes at the incredulity of it all.

Fiction

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57846320-the-school-for-good-mothers 

The School for Good Mothers

Jessamine Chan

Published: 2022

Publisher: Penguin Books

Pages: 319, Paperback

During college, I consciously read more LGBT stories to understand and learn to accept love in all forms. And there have been some really great narratives that have changed the way I have looked at love and what I’ve, for far too long, considered as the only accepted version of romantic love. Now, I don’t actively seek out queer stories but I love it when I inevitably stumble upon one. They reaffirm my belief that love is love and that one should be allowed to love anyone.

‘Red, White & Royal Blue’, Casey McQuiston’s debut novel, follows a rivalry-turned-romance trope between the Prince of Wales and the First Son of the United States. Alex Claremont-Diaz, whose mother is running for a second term for president, is passionate and eager to kick-start his own political career. Prince Henry, whose full name is Henry George Edward James Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, is much more measured and guarded—a stringent follower of decorum and protocols.

The novel begins with the two hating each other but things change when Henry kisses Alex on New Year’s Eve in the Kennedy Garden. Henry is gay. But Alex always thought he was straight. Now, after the kiss, he’s not so sure. And he can’t get Henry off his mind. His feelings for Henry make him realize he is bisexual. What ensues is a whirlwind romance with plenty of political drama. McQuiston indulges in many political fantasies, including Alex’s mom winning the presidency in 2016 (meaning Donald Trump was never the president).

The writing is honest and optimistic. There’s a lot of humor and some really wonderful moments as well. Alex and Henry are endearing and so are the other side characters who don’t feel like side characters at all. There is a lot of discussion about the characters’ aspirations, their concerns for their countries as well as all that they want to do to help the LGBTIQA+ community. It all feels like a pep talk at times.

Red, White & Royal Blue is essentially a love story but it’s also a celebration of identity. If you haven’t read a queer love story, this could be a good place to start as nothing feels forced or fake. The make-believe world couldn’t feel more real. It starts slow but when it picks up, you won’t want to put it down.