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We are living in a volatile world. And while we have always known that in the back of our minds, with increasing wars and hate crimes throughout the world, what has happened in Nepal this week has been a stark and ugly reminder of the fact. I, like most millenials, can’t make sense of what’s happening. Conversations with family and friends help but since we are all struggling to understand what’s going on and how humans can be so brutal and commit such horrifying acts, sometimes we all get sucked into a deep well of melancholy from where there is no getting out.

When this happens, as a reader, it’s only natural for me to turn to books and recommend books to those around me as well. I also find myself actively seeking recommendations from friends too. It’s interesting to know what books they turn to when they find themselves lost and helpless.

As a millennial, I feel like we have seen a lot—from the Royal massacre and people’s revolution to massive natural calamities and even a pandemic. And somehow we have managed to wrap our heads around it and survive, perhaps even emerge stronger. But what happened this past week was unimaginable. The image of a boy clad in a school uniform being carried away as blood dripped from his head is something I will never forget and be able to understand. Such horrors are countless. 

I feel like if I don’t divert my mind and try to make sense of the world, in an increasingly hostile environment, I will not be able to function. So I picked up a selection of books that I feel will be able to help. These are books that I have read before and plan to reread in bits and spurts. I believe they will allow me to play with ideas that I might not necessarily agree with but those that are important to understand. 

Why Men Rape by Tara Kaushal

This book is a result of meticulous hard work involving a lot of data collection and research. Kaushal  traveled extensively through India, talking to both victims and perpetrators of violence. She  interviewed those who have been accused of rape and men involved in gang rapes as well. Many times, she received threats and had to seek police protection. Kaushal argues as well as shows through anecdotal evidence how patriarchy and misogyny have armed men with a deep sense of entitlement, one which leaves them unable to understand the meaning of the word no. I think this is a good book to understand the psychology of men who choose to commit violent crimes as well as discuss an issue that is so often swept under the carpet in Nepal. I’m already rereading it to understand the psychological aspect of crime. 

Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari

Yuval Noah Harari is a genius. In ‘Sapiens, A Brief History of Humankind’, he has explained human history in an engaging and entertaining way. His writing is smooth and you don’t feel like you are reading a difficult book despite some concepts being hard to grasp. The book received a fair bit of criticism with some readers and critics calling it superficial and simplistic. But I think it’s a great window to how humans got to where we are. It also explains the origins of almost all aspects of mankind including religion, society, and civilization. There’s a lot of evolutionary psychology here too that might be helpful to understand how humans have evolved and where we are at today. I recommend you read the book in spurts to understand some key concepts if you aren’t in the mood to read a 500 page long narrative at the moment. It will definitely help to make sense of how societies work and maybe see the current chaos in a different way. 

Against Empathy by Paul Bloom

I read this a long time ago and must have reread the passages I have highlighted a few times ever since then. ‘Against Empathy’ is a brilliant book on how being empathetic isn’t all that great as it’s made out to be. Bloom actually makes a case against empathy, suggesting how we might be better off without it. He says that while empathy seems noble, it’s a flawed guide for making moral decisions. For someone like me who grew up being taught the importance of empathy and its importance to live life as morally as possible, this book came as a shocker. Initially, I couldn’t make sense of what Bloom was saying but as I read the book, I realized how empathy can work against us without us even realizing it. Bloom argues that empathy makes us focus on individuals rather than the broader picture. You then make decisions based on emotions rather than a fair assessment of the situation. Biases are inherent in empathy and it impairs judgement, he says. The book makes you look at your ideas and question where they might be flawed. I loved it and I’m sure everyone reading it will find something to take home. 

Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay

We need to read more books on feminism if we ever hope to create a fair and safe society. On Tuesday, the second day of the protests, a 20 something boy, who was in my lane to set fire to a house, made lewd comments and even tried to come close and put his hand on my shoulders. I could see he felt so powerful and much of it came from the fact that he was a man, despite being half my age. Roxane Gay’s book of essays on feminism, race, and pop culture will make you look at important issues from different perspectives. Gay is an excellent observer of society and her analysis helps clear out the tangles of ideas and thoughts in your head. The book was written over a decade ago but the ideas and themes are still relevant today. The arguments in the book are well researched and clear and make for insightful reading. 

The Doctor and the Saint by Arundhati Roy

I love Arundhati Roy’s writing and ideas. I will read anything she writes and I wish she published more often than she does. Her latest book, a memoir, ‘Mother Mary Comes to Me’ is what I’m currently reading and I love it. Her writing has me in a trance. ‘The Doctor and the Saint’ is the Gandhi Ambedkar debate that argues how the caste system was promoted in India by one of its most revered figures. It’s a look at how the caste system oppresses the poor and the voiceless and gives unjustified power to some. The book can get depressing at times but this short but intense work by Roy opens your eyes to how pervasive the caste system is and how that has been harming our society for ages. By examining the contrasting stances of Gandhi and Ambedkar, she provides insight into their lives and guiding principles. What I especially like about Roy’s writing in this book is her wry sense of humor. 

In the Brahma-saṁhitā (5.1), Brahmā proclaims that the Supreme Lord is complete with sat (eternity), cit (consciousness), and ānanda (bliss). Since the soul is a subtle fragment of God, it inherently shares these qualities. Just as a drop of ocean water contains the essence of the ocean yet cannot be called the ocean itself, the soul reflects the Lord’s nature but is never equal to Him. This distinction reveals that the soul’s inherent state is blissful. Just as chili is intrinsically hot, salt inherently salty, and water naturally fluid, the soul is inherently joyous. Yet, under the restless sway of the mind and worldly illusions, humans forget this foundation and construct artificial values. Can a strong house exist without a solid foundation?

In the Upadeśāmṛta, Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī classifies divine energy into three types: internal (antarāṅga), marginal (taṭastha), and external (bahiraṅga). The soul belongs to the marginal category. Internal energy is inseparable from God, whereas external energy constitutes the material world. Being marginal, the soul can either gravitate toward God or succumb to illusion—a principle psychology identifies as free will. William James aptly called humans the ‘chooser of destiny.’ Here, māyā represents the tendency to mistake the unreal for reality, making bewilderment a natural aspect of the soul’s conditioned state.

Ānanda Saṃhitā, authored by Ghanshyam Khadka, awakens the dormant joy within humans. Flowing seamlessly through the convergence of impersonalism, personalism, and science, it offers practical pathways to rediscover bliss. Khadka, who writes in both fiction and non-fiction, has also authored works such as Nirvāṇa, Putaliko Ghar, Nyāyako Avasān, Jīvan ra Nyāya, and Darbar Ko Dukhaant.

Psychology indicates that every human mind generates and concludes approximately 60,000–80,000 thoughts daily. Khadka’s work presents practical methods to channel this mental flux toward physical, mental, and spiritual purification. Napoleon Hill, in Think and Grow Rich, emphasizes persistently recording goals even before achieving them—a principle Khadka elaborates under the chapter Virecana.

Furthermore, according to American psychologist Barbara Fredrickson’s Broaden-and-Build Theory of Positive Emotions, feelings such as joy, gratitude, peace, love, playfulness, and curiosity enhance creativity, generosity, and physical well-being. They strengthen resilience and expand one’s perspective. When a person cultivates broad-minded thinking, tolerant behavior, and refined conduct, they transcend the false ego and embark on the journey toward authentic bliss.

To understand spirituality, one must distinguish between nature itself and its products. For example, a tree is not nature itself but a product of nature, composed of the five great elements: earth, water, fire, air, and ether. In Bhagavad-gītā As It Is, Lord Kṛṣṇa proclaims, “I am the seed-giving father of creation.” This clarifies the existence of the soul, the Supersoul, and the Supreme Lord.

The author further explains that as the alignment between mind and body strengthens, happiness naturally increases—a concept echoed in modern medicine as enhanced immunity. To alleviate human anxiety, Khadka offers a playful reflection: “Before birth, in the competition of 500 million sperm, only one successfully united with the egg.” Remembering this makes one feel fortunate rather than anxious. Once internalized, despair and sorrow lose their grip.

Attaining bliss requires uprooting the thorns of hardness, cruelty, and envy from the mind. In their place, the soil of the heart must be fertilized with compassion, seeded with love, and watered with friendship. Whether one gains or loses in life, if the mind rests in self-contentment and unity with the soul, worldly vicissitudes cannot disturb it. Lord Kṛṣṇa, in the Bhagavad-gītā, calls such a state sthita-prajña—where one transcends pleasure and pain, gain and loss, victory and defeat, and dwells in enduring inner peace.

Khadka likens the mind to a crystal, reflecting the colors of whatever it encounters. Similarly, a person’s life is profoundly shaped by their associations and environment. Whether one delights in the presence of others or enjoys solitude, whether one thrives by suppressing others or uplifting them—all depends on the company one keeps.

The fundamental distinction between human and animal life lies in the evolution of consciousness. Eating, sleeping, fearing, and mating exist in both. Yet when humans rise above these basic instincts, profound inquiry into spiritual truth emerges. The Vedānta-sūtra thus states: athāto brahma jijñāsā—“Now, therefore, inquire into Brahman.” Questions such as “Where did I come from? What is my relationship with the universe?” pave the path to lasting joy.

Delaying this awakening is perilous, as Gautama Buddha warned: “To think that there is enough time is man’s greatest delusion.” The Upaniṣads echo this urgency: life is fleeting, and the awakening of consciousness must begin immediately.

In the chapter Bhāvanā, the author examines the mind’s relationship with ego. While some philosophers define ego as false identity—accepting what is unreal as real—this presents a subtle distinction, showing that mind and ego are not entirely synonymous.

Ultimately, Ānanda Saṃhitā does not merely encapsulate philosophy in words; it provides practical guidance for attaining peace and joy in daily life. As the flow of bliss deepens, readers naturally immerse themselves, completing a transformative journey long before they realize it.

The author is a researcher, chemist, and spiritual seeker

Dolly Alderton’s books, I think, come badly packaged. The publisher should really rethink the cover design. They are confusing and all over the place. Your eyes hover over the covers without taking much in. I wouldn’t have bought her books had I not read a few of her interviews—one on Elle magazine and another in British GQ—where she talks candidly about why she writes the kinds of stories that she does. I loved reading her interviews because she talks passionately about writing and life.

I read ‘Good Material’ a while back and enjoyed it. About a guy going through a breakup and trying to come to terms with it, Good Material was an interesting take on relationships and how different people view them differently. It was a little slow at times but Alderton’s writing was refreshing and honest and I really enjoyed the book. I had heard her debut novel ‘Ghosts’ was much better than Good Material and though I had seen the book at a few bookstores in town, I had been put off by its silly cover. I know I’m harping about the cover and they say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover but with colorful patches and loud proclamations, it’s quite off-putting.

Alderton is a columnist for The Sunday Times and the author of the hugely popular memoir ‘Everything I Know About Love’ which won a National Book Awards (United Kingdom) in 2018. Many of my friends rave about the memoir but I haven’t found the book. I was actually looking for it when I came across Ghosts again and decided to give it a chance (despite the unappealing cover).

Ghosts is a bittersweet and sarcastic book about navigating single life in your 30s. Nina is in her 30s and all her friends are married and having babies. She, on the other hand, has recently broken up with her long time boyfriend. And he is getting engaged to this other girl he has only recently met. Then, she meets someone and they click. Everything looks perfect until he ghosts her, leaving her wondering just what went wrong. Aside from the romantic drama, Nina is also dealing with a difficult career, dwindling friendships, and worse, her beloved dad is slowly losing his memory while her mother seems to be having a mid-life crisis of sorts.

If you feel that’s a bit too much to be happening all at once, if you actually think about it life can sometimes unravel like that. It’s never a linear path, with one singular problem at a time. That is why Ghosts feels so relatable. Nina is not without flaws and you might even identify with one of her friends, depending on what’s going on in your life. The writing is smooth and flows with ease—you feel like a friend is talking to you, taking you through her life.

The book makes you smile, simmer in anger, and upsets you. But as it takes you through a rollercoaster of emotions, you feel better about life in general and more capable of handling whatever comes your way. It left me with an empowering ‘life’s like that’ attitude. I have to admit that it was hard to read at times because of the content but it’s definitely one of the best books I’ve read in a long time.

Fiction 

Ghosts

Dolly Alderton

Published: 2020

Publisher: Penguin Random House UK

Pages: 337, Paperback 

I believe it’s important to read books with strong women characters for several reasons. This is true for both readers who identify as women as well as everyone else. I especially enjoy books with women protagonists as I think they tap more into varied human emotions as compared to books with male protagonists. 

Women have often been underrepresented in literature. Their struggles and achievements aren’t often spoken about or celebrated. But things have slowly been changing with more writers focusing on telling stories with women in the lead. In the past few years, I have read some great stories of inspiring women, both fictitious and real, and they have opened me up to a world of experiences that I would probably not have been privy to.

Books like ‘Where the Crawdads Sing’ by Delia Owens showed me the power of resilience in women who seem silent and are sidelined. It made me think of my mother who doesn’t usually say much but manages to hold her ground with such astounding dignity in times of stress. ‘Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows’ by Balli Kaur Jaswal made me realize that women often have complex needs that they are generally hesitant to discuss. There have been many more such amazing works that have made me look at women and their lives in a completely different light. Here are three of my favorites. 

My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Ottessa Moshfegh

This is Ottessa Moshfegh’s second novel. It’s a story of a young girl who starts relying on prescription drugs in order to sleep for an entire year. The protagonist is a young unnamed woman in New York. She has a lot of problems, and childhood trauma to deal with. Her father ignored her, and her mother was a drunk who used Valium to pacify her. She doesn’t like her best friend, Reva, and she has always felt used by her boyfriend, Trevor. She is not with him anymore but she can’t stop obsessing over him. She decides to take a year off and recover—by taking as many drugs as possible and sleeping for days on end. She believes it’s just the way to fix herself. Moshfegh writes characters who are repulsive but by doing that she exposes people’s vulnerable sides. ‘My Year of Rest and Relaxation’ is seeped in dark humor and evokes empathy for those you might not necessarily understand. 

The Giver of Stars by Jojo Moyes

This is one of my favorite books. It’s such a heartwarming story. It will make you laugh and it will make you cry. And you will be recommending it to everyone you know. Set in small-town 1930’s Kentucky, the book is based on the real-life Pack Horse Librarians of Kentucky, or the Horseback Librarian program as it was called then. The program delivered books as part of Eleanor Roosevelt’s traveling library and ran from 1935 to 1943, making books accessible to over 100,000 rural inhabitants. I love historical fiction and this is probably one of the best I’ve read in the genre. There is drama, conflict, romance, and friendship in this brilliant story that makes you realize the power books and stories have to bring people together. 

Circe by Madeline Miller

Circe came out in 2018 and tells the story of the daughter of Helios, the god of the sun, in a different light. In Miller’s version of Greek mythology, Circe isn’t just a figure with uncertain powers or a witch. The first-person narrative format that Miller has decided to stick to in this book to give Circe a powerful voice, allowing her to tell her own story. Circe, according to the mythology, is the least liked by Helios. She is mocked and eventually even exiled for her use of witchcraft to turn Scylla into a nymph. We see her as a villain of sorts. But in ‘Circe’ we get to hear her side of the story. I loved the book as Circe is such a strong character. She is fierce but not without fears. She is bold but she has her weaknesses. It’s such a lovely depiction of a woman who can be many things at once.