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It is hard not to despair. The sick in Nepal are now waiting in their cars, on the roads, in parking lots, waiting for even a basic level of care. Inside, medical facilities are filled beyond maximum capacity. Medical professionals stretched beyond limit. Infections are soaring. The death toll is mounting. Bodies have piled up in riverbanks awaiting cremation. Grief and loss are everywhere.

As the crisis cuts deeper and the despair broadens, where do we look for hope? Our traditional sources of hope—political, economic, religious, cultural—have failed to provide meaningful reassurance against the despair that engulfs us at a ferocious speed. Where are our sources of hope?

In an interview with CNN earlier this week, Prime Minister KP Oli made an appeal for international assistance. He offered no account of what his government was doing, reading instead through the list of customary statistics—infections, positivity rate, recoveries, fatalities. When the anchor asked if large political, religious, and cultural gatherings had been a mistake, the prime minister responded vaguely, pointing instead to political instability. He did not explain that he was as much a part of the political instability.

Political instability has distracted Nepal from the fight against the disease. Like vultures hovering menacingly over a man gasping for his last breath, Nepal’s political leadership has spent more time squabbling and maneuvering than directing a meaningful response to the crisis.

Political instability has always been deeply entrenched in our system of governance. Political leadership has rarely been a source of hope. So, it wasn’t entirely surprising that they failed yet again. But the most telling was how everything around it collapsed. No other government institution rose to force political decision-makers to focus on the crisis: not the civil service, judiciary, president, army, provincial governments, or local governments. It is like our constitution offered no safeguards: not a single institution could get the government to focus on the crisis.

A system that is so entirely beholden to the political leadership, lacking the will or capacity to respond even in an unprecedented emergency, can offer no source of hope. Nepal’s constitution is dead.

Earlier this week, several media reports published details about how demands for commissions had delayed Nepal’s purchase of vaccines. Nepal’s effort to vaccinate its people is now in disarray. The story on commissions implicates leading business houses and personalities.

Many of the media reports appeared more interested in implicating than in telling the story. The demands for commissions appeared strikingly callous, almost inhumane. Our first impulse should have been to say it couldn’t possibly be true. Surely, even the greediest of traders would flinch at such inhumanity. Instead, the stories ripped through our conscience and were immediately absorbed as reality. There was no reason to doubt it, for it resonated deeply with our long-held perception about lack of ethics and hunger for profits within Nepali businesses. Businesses offer no source of hope.

In these troubled times, perhaps religion and culture could have been our sources of hope. Instead, religious and cultural leaders pushed ahead in the opposite direction. They allowed, and often encouraged, large crowds to congregate and mass celebrations to continue. Many religious and social groups have now banded together to offer medical aid to those in need, but they do so largely on the strength and generosity of the volunteers that run those aid camps and not on the institutional strength of the religious groups or cultural societies.

As traditional political, economic, religious, and cultural sources of hope fail, we are now discovering strength in the many individual stories of courage, compassion, and perseverance. They are becoming our sources of hope.

Medical caregivers and other service providers relentlessly on the frontlines every day, often understaffed and under-resourced. Many volunteer groups across the country that have banded together with whatever resources they can muster, assisting even strangers in need. Within our homes, individuals who are juggling the loss of livelihoods, caring for loved ones, sharing with neighbors, or simply fighting to stay alive. The countless untold individual stories of compassion, courage, and perseverance—these are our new sources of hope.

The message of hope as we rise from this despair is that we must let go of the false symbols of hope that had us trapped and return to the core of our individual compassion, courage and perseverance that has allowed us to overcome.         

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Delusion: A false belief that is based on an incorrect interpretation of reality.  (Harvard Health Publishing, Harvard Medical School)

Majority of our mainstream political analysts are delusional. Therefore, we are constantly bombarded with pieces that assume we are already a prosperous, strong country with functional democracy. Such ideas that do not correspond to ground reality are promoted and believed. And that's behind our poverty and weak international standing.

The buzzword these days is balance. Almost all pieces on Nepal’s foreign policy either begins or ends with the sentence, “Nepal needs to balance its relations with all three powers: India, China and the US”, as if we are capable of it. But hardly any piece carries a clear—and doable—prescription on how to achieve that much-sought balance. The very belief that we or anybody else for that matter can balance its relations with countries with competing interests and ideologies is, quite frankly, ridiculous. Either they know a thing or two no body else does, or they know nothing and they say it because that's in vogue and saying anything to the contrary makes them anti-China, anti-India or anti-America. In our shameless effort to avoid being anti this and that, we have ceased being pro-Nepal.

Being pro-Nepal means accepting that we do not possess any special diplomatic skills and we do not matter much to the global or regional powers that we are obsessed with. The great delusion is that we are already Switzerland and we have the luxury to remain neutral and non-aligned. Being pro-Nepal is to accept that we are poor and weak and light years behind Switzerland. It also means we explore ways to make ourselves strong so that others take us seriously. And there's only one way to go about achieving this dream—we got to be really selfish because all countries are (well, most anyways), and the countries that are holding on to the unrealistic aspirations are messed up like us.

The one and only way to get out of the present mess is to align ourselves with one of the three powers. There is absolutely no reason to feel guilty about doing so.

Let's look around: our neighbors developed because they aligned with the US. It led to market access, investment and defense modernization. Had they chosen to balance their relations like us, China would still be a chaotic communist country experimenting with senseless policies and India would still be following, what the critics used to call, the Hindu rate of growth. And the Malaysians would still be congratulating themselves for making the right decision of kicking Singapore out of the Malay federation.

Aligning ourselves with a powerful country is also in our security interest. World politics is all about interest-based alliances, and our security interests are best served if we make ourselves useful to one of the three powers. Neutrality and non- alignment never served anyone. The neutral countries were one of the first to be invaded by Germany during the Second World War.

The threat of Great War is still there; otherwise no country would be spending on military and advanced weapons. We do not have the resources to defend ourselves and we need a powerful friend who would take us under its wings and help us modernize our military. Let's think beyond tents, field hospitals, non-lethal equipment and a building or two. Believing that the neighbors or other powers would not attack us, and even if they do, delaying action battle/tactic or the international outcry would deter the foreign advancing army, will only give us a false sense of security.

For us, the options are limited. It is for the leaders to decide who we want to align with by taking various factors into consideration. And we got to sign a defense pact with one of the three: we commit 15,000-25,000 troops to fight your war if you agree to defend us and help us modernize our military and invest in our economic growth and infrastructure development. The Rana rulers understood that the only way Nepal could remain independent or be seen as such was by militarily aligning itself with the allied powers. The situation hasn't changed a bit. The army is still a major tool to achieve the foreign policy objectives of almost all functioning countries and, for us, it is our only ticket to prosperity.

We need to align with a power that would consider an attack on us as an attack on itself, and go all out to defend us. And that is only likely, if we too commit to fighting its war. That’s what we can offer because we have nothing else of value to offer.

Our biggest security threats, just as it is to any other country, are our neighbors. If we align with one, the threat is reduced to only one. And even then, we would not be forced to defend it ourselves if it attacks or invades us. Even if there's no war or other threats, aligning with a major power reduces our military budget in the short run, as the power we align with will spend on its modernization because it would need our military to fight its war too and it would be in its best interests to equip us with the same weapons that it equips its military with.

We can then ask our ally for market access and infrastructure development and it would lead to industrialization and we will be rich enough to afford the latest weapons ourselves. And to achieve that, allowing the ally to maintain a base or two here or have our military fight alongside it, is no big deal. Most developed and currently developing countries have followed this route. You scratch my back and I will scratch yours—that's how the world works.

And let's not forget: almost all countries that our youth go to work these days have followed this path to development and security. While talking about their impressive growth in the past 20-30 years and still arguing that we balance our relations and remain neutral is hypocrisy on the part of our elite opinion makers. The UK, Germany, Japan, Qatar, South Korea, Bahrain, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia etc—some of you probably think of the US bases when you think about these countries and ridicule them for compromising their sovereignty, but for us, the majority, we think of their prosperity. Quite frankly, half of Nepal would be willing to leave our historically glorious country to live in these presently prosperous countries.

Whether their sovereignty is compromised or not is of no concern to us or for the vast majority of the world. All we care is they are way better than Nepal in many respects. Prakash Nanda, an Indian political analyst/journalist and someone with enough reporting and analyzing experience under his belt, argues for hosting US bases in Andaman and Nicobar islands in an opinion piece for the Indian Defense Review’s website.

Therefore, the balance that most of you are seeking is unachievable and while it may win you whatever useless tag or short-term gain you are after, it does absolutely no good to our economy and security.

We got to swallow our “historical greatness” pride and as bob Dylan sang, “gotta serve somebody.”

The 2020 Covid-19 lockdowns had people either cooking elaborate meals (think Butter Chicken, Prawn Biryani, and Malai Kofta) or restricting their food intake to lose weight, says Rocky Maharjan, nutritionist and trainer who is passionate about body building. Some turned to food for comfort while others wanted to fit into a dress that had always been a little too tight. But food, says Maharjan, is meant to nourish and help your body function at its best.

“This time when you are stuck at home again, reevaluate your relationship with food. Let it be your key to wellness,” he says. 

What Maharjan means is you should use food as a tool to lead a healthy life and not take your equation with it to extremes—where it’s either your best friend or your worst enemy. The key it to be conscious of what you are eating and better understanding your bodies’ requirements.

Bhupal Baniya, nutritionist at Nepal Police Hospital, says most people started taking nutritional supplements during the pandemic. While there’s definitely an upside to popping zinc tablets and sucking on Vitamin C lozenges, you could just as easily get these essential nutrients from food. That way, he says, you don’t run the risk of any kind of toxicity.

“Most people choose quick meals. They use food to satiate their taste buds and nutrition is the last thing on their minds,” say Baniya, adding it would be a good idea to educate yourself a little about food and strive to eat nutritious meals that are filling as well.

If there’s one thing Covid-19 has taught us it’s the importance of good health. And a sure shot way to stay healthy is to ensure you are eating right. The old adage ‘you are what you eat’ couldn’t be truer since the trillions of cells in your body need a constant supply of nutrients for optimal functioning. Food affects these cells and, by extension, your overall health, sleeping habits, brain function, energy levels and mood. 

Maharjan recommends eating fresh, homemade and seasonal food, keeping your medical conditions, if you have any, in mind. Eating in moderation and not staying away from certain food groups are also crucial if you want to stay fit and healthy.

A comprehensive vegetarian diet plan prepared by experts at Danphe Care, a Kathmandu-based healthcare management company. Danphe Care has been providing medical consultations to Covid-19 patients under home isolation. Kabin Maleku, program coordinator, says they are focusing on a holistic approach to Covid care and, for that, the right diet plays an important role. A vegetarian version of the diet plan is also available upon request.

We indulged in copious amounts of turmeric lattes and masala teas during the pandemic. PM Oli even said besar pani could be our savior from the pandemic, a scientifically dubious claim. But herbs and spices do have tons of other health benefits. What’s good about Nepali kitchens, says nutritionist Baniya, is that we already use these goodness-rich spices in our food. You could also tweak your cooking methods to include a variety of spices and condiments.

“Herbs and spices have medicinal properties that help prevent many illnesses and inflammatory conditions,” says Baniya. But just because something is good doesn’t mean you should consume large quantities of it. For instance, excess besar pani could potentially lead to liver problems.

“Most people know only about the benefits of including certain things in their diets. You should also understand how much is enough,” he says.

As it is summer and the days are getting hotter, it’s best to consume warming spices in moderation, advises Dr Rishi Ram Koirala, ayurvedic physician who has been practicing for four decades.

“I recommend you chew five to six pods of black pepper daily as well as have raw onions with Himalayan pink salt,” he says. These, he explains, have anti-microbial properties and destroy mucous.

But a strong immune system is as much a result of eating a balanced diet as it is about giving your body a boost with specific immune-strengthening ingredients like turmeric, ginger, garlic and fenugreek.

Dietician Priyanka Sainju, who works at B&B Hospital in Gwarko, Lalitpur, and at Vatsalya Natural IVF in Naxal, Kathmandu, recommends eating a variety of fruits and vegetables daily. This, she says, is something we all know but also something we all neglect as well.

“I can’t stress the importance of having at least two servings of fruits and vegetables a day. They provide vitamins and minerals the body needs. If macros—carbs, proteins, and fats—are the building blocks of your body, essential nutrients are what convert food to energy, repair cellular damage, and keep your bones, muscles, heart, and brain functioning properly,” she says.

The dietician also suggests abstaining from fried, greasy food and instead opting for whole foods, as close to their natural states as possible.  

Additionally, nutritionist Baniya advices not consuming milk tea immediately before or after meals as well as not eating those things that cause oxidative stress, which is harmful to the body. (A diet rich in fat, sugar, and processed food causes oxidative stress.)

But wellness in these difficult times has to also go beyond healthy eating, says Dr Koirala who is also the director of Ayurveda Health Home, an alternative and holistic health service. He says there are a few basic things you should practice.

First, he recommends oil pulling, an Ayurvedic practice that draws toxins out of your body. All you need to do is take a tablespoon of oil in your mouth and swish it around for five minutes before spitting it out. This lessens your body’s viral load, says Dr Koirala. He advises rinsing your mouth with warm salt water immediately after and following up by drinking lemon water. Dr Koirala recommends consuming the juice of three lemons a day.

“For overall health and wellness, you must learn to manage stress as well. Stress lowers immunity and makes you susceptible to various diseases,” concludes Dr Koirala.

“We should have taken you for the Lantang trek, you badly need to sweat a lot hahaha”, someone I am only acquainted with through work casually said over the phone. I must have met him maybe thrice in formal settings, so, I diplomatically asked him to mind his own business. I still regret not coming out more aggressively about that passive-aggressive body shaming.

In Nepal people do not realize or more often choose to ignore that commenting on someone’s physical attribute or color is wrong. After an incident at a local school, there is a lot of talk online about body shaming and its adverse effects on victims. It is thus important to understand why this has to stop at any cost.

In simple language, body shaming can be understood as the act of humiliating someone by mocking or critically commenting on their body shape, size or color. The question is why do we/they do it? A lot of times people have a certain frame and rule of thumb set by the society on how one should look. Otherwise you are considered “ ugly”, “inappropriate” or an “outcast”. It has become accepted practice to name a person after his/her physical appearance.

Swarna Tamrakar​, the author is a businessperson, prefers to be called connoisseur of DIY and recycle, and is mother to a golden retriever named Ba:la Princess

For example, if a woman is physically large people will call her “Moti, Dalli, Bhaisi, Hatti, or Gaida” or if they are dusky in complexion chances are they will be called “Kali, Andheri, or Koila”. This might sound cute once. But when she is constantly being called that in public, it affects her psyche.

Unfortunately body shaming is something that happens more in your own core circle. Family members constantly coax their kids to stop eating because if they are fat no one will like them. Girls are asked to use facial creams to whiten their skin tone to meet the social standards. The South Asian families are always worried about the girls’ physical attributes, again to avoid being singled out for the rest of their lives. The constant pressures from family, friends and society can have a devastating emotional impact on the girls.

Body shaming mostly starts at an early age at schools and family gatherings, resulting in the kid’s low self-esteem as they start being dissatisfied with their perceived body image set by society or media. This leads to psychological problems like social anxiety also known as social phobia (trouble talking to people, meeting new people and attending social gatherings), anorexia/bulimia (eating disorders characterized by food restriction, fear of gaining weight and strong desire to stay thin), bigorexia (can be referred as reverse anorexia or a body dysorphic disorder that triggers an idea that the body is too small or not muscular enough) as well as serious mental health issues.

It is a lifetime of trauma for the majority of sufferers. Some sink so deep in the trauma, suicide becomes their only way out. It might come as a shock that most people engage in body shaming because of their own insecurities and anger, which they like to vent out on someone else. In the young and adolescents, this is common when they cannot deal with conflicts with peers. Also, at times they are upset, annoyed or intimidated by someone and they don't know any other way than to belittle that person’s appearance.

Both the bullied and the bully need to go for counseling and take professional help. It will take time but the trauma can be healed. A lot of times confronting the bully helps tide over the psychological damage. It is fearsome for anyone to express their true feelings and become vulnerable but until and unless there is that venting out, they will continue to be damaged internally. Finally, the simplest thing we need to practice and the first step towards recovery is self-love and accepting yourself the way you are. After that what anyone says will be as important as a bicycle is to a fish.