Submit your Article

Tihar is supposed to be a festival of unity, love and bonding with family and friends. But for some this festival is not as shiny as it once used to be. They miss a special person on the most cherished day of the festival: bhai tika.With many Nepalis now choosing to work and live abroad, many brothers are left with empty foreheads, or have to make do by receiving tika from their nearest cousins. Likewise, countless sis­ters bitterly miss their brothers who have gone overseas.

“Not having my sisters on such an auspi­cious occasion is a really sad experience,” says Rajesh Mishra, 44. “I do not celebrate bhai tika when my sisters are not around.” Mishra recalls previous bhai tikas with his two sisters, both of whom are now in Aus­tralia. “Those were such joyous occasions,” he muses.

Dikshant Shakya, 18, speaks of how the Newari community marks this auspicious day. “Brothers get velvet garlands and delicacies from their sisters, who make these things themselves,” he says. His elder sister has been living in Bangalore for the past six years and they have been unable to meet during Tihar for the past three years. Shakya also states how, due to the social media, “the sense of missing out on something important is heightened”.

Arun Bhatta, 18, who is currently pursuing his undergraduate degree in Hong Kong, recognizes the festi­val as having special significance. “The festival is something that I think every Nepali brother looks forward to and it’s very disheartening to miss out”. Bhatta has thus far been unable to find a suitable sister in Hong Kong from whom to receive bhai tika.

Thankfully, technology is a two-way street. While Facebook posts of friends may heighten the sense of loss, internet calling applications like Viber and Face­book Messenger also make it much easier for brothers and sisters to connect. Says Paribesh Bidari, 22, whose sister lives in the US: “We communicate via messenger during bhai tika. It has been very helpful in this regard.”

But there really is no replacement for the presence of your brother or sister in flesh-and-blood, is there?

Whether the government of KP Sharma Oli has been able to deliver on its electoral promise of ‘prosperity’ in its eight months in office is questionable. Its other promise of ‘stability’, it appears, will also not be easy to keep. Set aside for a moment the implications of the ruling coa­lition’s failure to heed the demands of the Madhesi parties, which have given the government until the end of Chhat to amend the constitution. It looks like an even bigger danger lurks within the Nepal Communist Party itself. No, this threat does not come from senior leader Madhav Kumar Nepal, who has mounted a vigorous criticism of the government of his own party. Nepal is making his own political calculations ahead of the first general convention of the merged party. But he does not seem minded to topple the government, a move that could badly backfire on the veteran leader.

A more dangerous sign that not everything is well in the NCP came when sitting federal MPs were being put under pressure to resign and vacate their parliamentary seat for another senior leader Bamdev Gautam. It was hard to buy the prime minister’s argument, in what was a lame attempt to sidestep the issue, that Gautam’s loss in his Bardiya con­stituency in the federal election was somehow ‘unnatural’ and Gautam was thus looking for a restitution. Nor was it easy to believe that the presence of Gautam—who has had a checkered history in government—in the federal parliament is ‘indispensable’.

Some people close to the prime minister saw the attempt to elect Gautam to the federal parliament as ultimately aimed at unseating Oli. In their reading, it was part of a plot hatched by Gautam and party co-chairman Pushpa Kamal Dahal—possibly with India’s backing. Apparently, India is none-too-pleased with Oli’s growing China tilt and Dahal has given the Indian establishment credible assurance that he will follow their playbook.

If Gautam wins the by-election, he would directly challenge Oli for government leadership; if he losses, he would mount a strong revolt against ‘in-party conspiracy’ to defeat him. Dis­sent will grow. One thing will lead to another and ultimately Gautam will find a way to unseat Oli and become the prime minister himself. Dahal would then lead the party. And both these developments will have New Delhi’s blessings.

Perhaps this is just another conspiracy theory and there is no more to it than Gautam’s desire to be MP again. But all these theories of sinister plots to destabilize the party and the country emanating from within the NCP circle suggest that Oli’s hold over his party is far from absolute and Nepalis should not take stability for granted.

 Following the implemen­tation of the new Civil Code (2017), the number of men seeking to part ways with their wives has shot up. In a month and a half starting August 17, 98 men applied for divorce at the Kathmandu Dis­trict Court (KDC). During that time, 87 women did the same. Every day, the court gets 8-9 such applications. Its records show only 3-4 women sought divorce on a daily basis in the corresponding period last year.

Before the new code came into being, there was no legal basis for men to directly file for divorce. Under the old code, men first had to get the recommendation of ward offices, whereupon they could petition with the VDC, DDC or municipalities to have their case filed in a court of law. But women directly petition the courts.

A local of Manmaiju in Kath­mandu, who had gone to Doha for work, was recently at the Kathmandu District Court to file for divorce. According to his application, he had got­ten into a “love marriage” in 2003. The couple then had a daughter, who is now study­ing in class eight. He says he decided to file for divorce because he has ‘concrete evidence’ of his wife’s involve­ment with other men.

Compared to last year, the number of women seeking divorce has also increased. Husbands not fulfilling their wifes’ necessities such as food and clothing, domestic vio­lence, ignoring of wife after going to a foreign country, throwing her out of the house, and extra-marital affair are some cited reasons for filing for divorce. There are also cases of fake court marriages done solely for the purpose of going abroad.

Because of the high popu­lation density in Kathmandu, more divorce cases are reg­istered here compared to other districts. “There is no one reason for divorce”, says Tika Singh Khatri, an offi­cial at the case registration department at the KDC. “But in Kathmandu more men than women are filing for divorce.”

If husband and wife both agree to divorce each other, then there is provision to do so under Article 93. Under article 94, if the wife stays away from her husband for three or more years without his permission, does not give her husband food and clothing, keeps him out of the house, gives him mental or physical torture, or has extra-marital affair, a divorce case can be filed against her.

After an application is filed, the court tries to make peace between husband and wife. If they still want to divorce, then, according to the law, property is distributed and the two go separate ways.

But women’s rights activist Meera Kumari Dhungana says the changed law has loopholes that could allow men not to give anything to their wives. “If men now file for divorce, they can now easily get rid of their old wives and get new ones,” Dhungana says.

In the Nepali context, the new Civil Code could further entrench old discriminations against women, she fears.

But, she adds, “a lot also depends on how our courts interpret the new law.”

Perhaps the Rastriya Janata Party Nepal (RJPN) leaders who had gone to meet Prime Minister KP Sharma Oli on Oct 8 were well aware that little gets done during the over a month-long holiday sea­son that starts with Dashain and ends with Chhath. That is why when Prime Minister Oli assured the RJPN leaders that their demands would be fulfilled by the end of Dashain the Madhesi leaders said they were happy to give him until the end of Chhath. Who knows, they too might have been in a festive spirit not to make a hard push. Dashain remains the most widely celebrated festival in Nepal, even though not everyone celebrating it is religious. They will go to different Shakti Peeths during the Navaratri, the ‘nine nights’ and 10 days of Dashain (See Sabhyata Jha’s sto­ry, Page 8-9), to imbibe the festive spirit if nothing else. There is also a growing trend of people leaving Nepal to visit other countries during Dashain, as they are unlikely to get another holiday nearly as long. This also signals the dwindling religious importance of Dashain even as its cultural and socio-economic signif­icance remains high.

For meat-eaters, this is the time to gorge on goat, a Dashain delicacy. But interestingly the trend of people becoming vegetarians, nay, even vegans, is rocketing as well, partly because of the violence associated with animal killings (See Main story, Page 7). Another popular pastime this Dashain, at least for those who remain in the country, will be play­ing cards, often with the involve­ment of huge sums, never mind that the government has banned any kind of gambling.

Many bemoan the days when the whole extended family used to get together to celebrate, often by vis­iting their ancestral homes. Now half the family is invariably abroad during Dashain, working there or on vacation. But it would be unreal­istic to expect the country’s biggest festival to remain static in a society that has been in a state of constant flux since the 1990 political change.

Rather than resist the inevita­ble change perhaps it is a better idea to gracefully accept it. Let us celebrate today and look for­ward to a better tomorrow. Happy Dashain, everyone.