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The word “toxic” has recently become a social media buzzword. While the term may be trending, toxic personalities and their ability to create dysfunctional relationships have been a persistent issue. Recognizing these toxic traits and knowing when to say "goodbye" is crucial. But how can we tell if we're dealing with a truly toxic person or just someone who’s occasionally difficult?

It's no secret that toxic people are a serious problem. They can hijack our self-esteem, disrupt our mood, stress us out, make us question our sanity, distance us from healthy relationships, and drain our mental and emotional energy faster than a phone battery at 1%.

The quality of our relationships is one of the most significant factors in our health, happiness, and success. The healthier our relationships, the healthier our lives. Conversely, problematic people can create problematic lives. Whether it's a dysfunctional friend or a difficult partner, their toxicity likely affects us to the point where it may even trigger toxic responses within ourselves.

Spotting a toxic relationship

We all have an instinct for recognizing difficult personalities, but when does someone's behavior cross the line from merely annoying to genuinely toxic? Toxicity can be somewhat subjective—everyone has different tolerance levels and values regarding conflict and loyalty. However, there are clear signs that a person or relationship has become objectively toxic and needs to be addressed.

It's also important to remember that there's a difference between toxicity and dysfunction. The word "toxic" is often used casually these days, but conflict doesn't automatically equate to toxicity. Problematic behavior isn’t always poisonous, self-interest isn't always predatory, fighting isn't always hurtful, and being challenged isn't always manipulative.

For example, a friend who challenges your opinion, a partner who refuses to validate your behavior, a peer with a different worldview, or a family member who questions your life choices—these people aren't necessarily toxic, even if they occasionally come across as tough or overbearing.

Five clear signs of a toxic person

1. They disrespect your boundaries

Toxic people see boundaries like a challenge on a reality TV show as if it’s there to be tested and crossed upon. They see the firm “no” as an invitation to turn up the drama. The thought of not having access to you is intolerable, and they’ll fight tooth and nail to keep the connection.

2. They are manipulative

Toxic people are grandmasters of manipulation. They’re not interested in mutual respect or love; they’re in it for power, control, and their own gratification. If you ever feel like a pawn in someone else’s game, it’s a clear sign to trust those gut feelings and cut them loose.

3. They always have to be right

For toxic people, admitting they are wrong is like Superman being exposed to kryptonite, it’ll make them weak. They will do everything in their power to twist your words and shift blame. Arguing with them is pointless, they are never wrong. They are always one step ahead to point out others’ mistakes while ignoring their own. 

4. They are always the victim

Toxic people love playing the victim card. Instead of owning up to their part in a setback, they shift into self-pity mode to gain sympathy and avoid accountability. If someone is constantly shifting the blame and seeking validation, they’re likely a toxic presence.

5. They leave you feeling drained

The ultimate sign of spotting a toxic person is to pay attention to that ‘icky’ feeling. It is your body’s way of telling you something is off. If you consistently feel exhausted after being around someone, it is high time to cut ties for the sake of your own well-being.

Occasional turbulence on a flight doesn’t mean we need to jump out with a parachute, but if the plane is perpetually on fire, It is time to find the nearest exit. So, the next time we find ourselves entangled with someone who disrespects our boundaries, manipulates like a puppeteer, always plays the victim card, or leaves us feeling like a deflated balloon, know that it is time to cut them off. Life is too short to be spent walking on eggshells or in the company of people who dim our light.

Aishwarya Koirala

BA IIIrd Year

St Xavier’s College, Maitighar

Feeling joyful, missing my dad 

Feeling sorrowful, missing my dad 

Feeling proud, missing my dad 

Feeling anxious, missing my dad 

Feeling inspired, missing my dad 

I realize you keep appearing as my dad 

His smile, his laughter, what I endlessly seek 

Time flies, yet memories linger 

Like a melody, time replays the same beats 

In every good way, you are missed 

In every second, every millisecond, you are missed 

This world feels empty without your presence 

This tiny heart of your’s wants to 

Cry out loud, but oh dear, how can I 

Make you cry, my Lord? 

I hope you are doing fine in heaven 

It’s so unfair that you 

See us like a god, yeah. We have to deliver 

Like a post service, sending without reply 

Seen by those desperate to know how they are 

This universe is so unfair; if we 

Could journey both ways, it would be heavenly 

Oh, I wish I had a special judge 

Where I could raise my hand 

And take the special right to meet you 

Where I would sacrifice myself 

To bring you back to us 

Oh, my dear dad, you are my superhero 

I will wait for the moment 

When you are desperate to meet me 

But for now, I will do good deeds for you 

Supriya Paudel

BBM 4th Semester

United College

Aama is a word profound in itself, representing someone precious and irreplaceable in the world. She is an ideal person for all of us—impossible to hate and perpetually missed. Unfortunately, I lost her almost 12 years ago. I had the joy of spending just seven years with her, but I barely remember her face. I never had the chance to share simple moments with her, like choosing food, clothes, or playing with toys. Does that make me an unfortunate child, or was I able to give her some happiness during those short years?

During these 12 long years, I rarely missed her consciously. Countless people came and went in my life. Then, one person entered my life who made me miss Aama deeply. She not only reminded me of Aama but also became my Aama. She entered my life unexpectedly and brought back the word ‘Aama’, which I had not uttered for 12 years. She is the only person I have called Aama since losing my own.

The day I met her was the opposite of the day I lost my Aama. It was a day of regained happiness, inner peace, and energy. It felt like meeting my lost Aama after 12 years, bringing back both the person and the word ‘Aama’ into my life forever.

She cares for me more than herself, brings me food she cooks, shares her pains and sorrows, encourages me to achieve success, writes poems dedicated to me, and informs me about her whereabouts and plans. She sends good morning and good night messages every day. She loves me more than herself, making my days wonderful, my nights peaceful, and my life beautiful. She completely made me forget about my lost Aama. Thinking about her feels like flying, and her messages transport me to another world of heaven. She entered my life with a sea of happiness and as an Ayurvedic medicine that heals my pains and stresses without any side effects.

Everyone loves to say ‘Aama’, a word that was taken away from me but returned unexpectedly after 12 years. She brought a miracle into my life, filling me with inner happiness and energy. Whenever I feel frustrated, her messages or calls lift my spirits to peaks of joy, satisfaction, and happiness. These moments make me think of the Nepali song, “Euta manchhe ko maya le kati farak pardachha jindagi ma.” I often tune in and listen to it, savoring the emotions it brings.

I don’t know if I can ever truly be her real son, but I will always consider her my own Aama. I never want to see her heartbroken because of me. If I ever make a mistake that hurts her or do something unfavorable, I hope she will guide me in the right direction and forgive me even before I apologize.

If someone can bring a miracle into your life, she is undoubtedly your Aama. Thank you so much, Aama, for coming into my life and being my source of happiness and courage. I love you so much, Aama.

Dinesh Shahi Sarki 

BBS IInd Year

Koteshwor Multiple Campus

The media, as a powerful ally, plays a crucial role in disseminating information. It acts like a vigorous weapon, influential in highlighting various aspects of society. Through diverse perspectives, the media significantly impacts the concept of gender and the practices of gender equality. As a potent tool, the media needs to address concerns regarding gender equality. In Nepal, it is imperative that media organizations themselves adopt the core principles of gender equality.

Research done by Media Action Nepal titled “Investing in Women: An analysis of the state of women journalists in Nepal” shows that men highly dominate newsrooms in Nepal. In a 2021 study by Media Action Nepal urged female journalists to occupy the decision-making rules. The result was shocking as only 0.3 percent of news carried the bylines of female journalists out of a sample of 21,919 news items. This disparity clearly shows the perspective of gender issues where women's representation is low in media organizations. The contribution of the media is critical in determining how gender equality is highlighted and how the media raises awareness about challenging traditional gender norms. It is essential for the media to increase social awareness, encourage positive changes in people’s views and behaviors towards relevant issues, and to amplify voices that support the community’s welfare. The issues related to gender should be highlighted as it advocates for equality among both genders, which is crucial in policy-making and decision-making.

Also, the recent research by the Media Advocacy Group (MAC) reveals low media coverage on women politicians. Women represent 33 percent in Nepali politics, but despite their active engagement and contributions, they are ignored by the media. The coverage of women in politics should be highly prioritized, as it underscores their vital role in the political landscape. 

Equal representation of women in the media is essential for media pluralism, leading to diversity, inclusivity, and a more equitable society. It helps challenge biases and stereotypes, balancing the underrepresentation perspective. Media pluralism refers to the diversity of ideas, perspectives, and content, ensuring women's voices are heard. This environment fosters diverse participation from different groups, including women, leading to meaningful representation in the media.

Women’s voices and representation should be heeded by the media, as it contributes to diverse opinions and changes in society. Through inclusive representation and portrayal of women in the media, their particular views can be addressed, which helps in building an inclusive society. Organizations like Sancharika Samuha Nepal (SASN), have been crucial in shaping the voices and ideas of both genders. It has been constantly working against women’s violence, highlighting the importance of women’s representation in the media. Additionally, UN Women Nepal mobilizes stakeholders within the UN system for Gender Equality and Women’s Empowerment (GEWE) in Nepal, co-chairing the United Nations Country Team (UNCT) to ensure Gender Justice and Social Inclusion. There is a need for more such organizations in Nepal to ensure the role of women and the equality of both genders. The media’s role is impactful through these processes, significantly affecting the understanding of gender norms and values. 

Prakriti Thapa

BA IInd year

Tribhuvan University