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I love books that make me well up or cry. They feel so cathartic. Recently I read ‘We Are Okay’ by Nina LaCour after weeks of staring at its gorgeous cover. It’s a short read and I finished it in a day. But the emotions it stirred have stayed with me since. Every time I see the spine of the book on the shelf, I’m reminded of how the simple story made me feel and I get goosebumps. LaCour’s tale of grief and coming to terms with it is a lesson on how you don’t have to navigate your life alone and that being open and accepting the help and love you get can heal you. For such a slim book, it packs quite a punch.

We Are Okay is the story of a college freshman named Marin who leaves behind everything and everyone after the sudden death of her grandfather. But her best friend, Mabel, isn’t giving up on her. After repeated failed attempts to connect with her via texts and emails, she visits Marin at her college in New York during winter break when the latter is alone in her dorm. Everyone else has left for the holidays. The narrative alternates between present day and flashbacks to Marin’s life with her grandfather. Slowly you get the idea of what happened in Marin’s life for her to cut ties with everyone. LaCour is a noted LGBTQIA+ novelist and she explores the relationship between Marin and Mabel in that context as well.

Also read: My Dark Vanessa book review: Lolita in the age of #MeToo

The different settings make the story interesting. In the present, it’s December in New York. There’s a storm raging outside and the gloomy environment reflects Marin’s sense of displacement and loneliness. Then we flashback to California during summer. There is a lot of warmth, comfort, and a sense of safety here. There is a familiarity in the regular rhythms of Marin’s life with her ‘Gramps’. Mabel’s family treats Marin as one of them and there’s a lot of love. Shuttling back and forth between the two settings gives you a complete picture of what’s going on and you see why Marin’s grief runs deep.

LaCour’s writing is so impactful that you feel every bit of Marin’s sadness. You feel her struggles as she tries to own up to her mistakes, make amends, and do the right thing despite her aching heart. Mabel is the best friend anyone could ever ask for. You realize she too must be hurting by constantly being pushed away. The fact that she has had to keep her own feelings aside to tend to Marin overwhelms you time and again.

We Are Okay conveys a powerful message about love, loss, and friendship. It’s just the book you should pick up if you are in need of some comfort.

We Are Okay

Four stars 
Fiction
Nina LaCour
Published: 2017
Publisher: Penguin Books
Pages: 234, Paperback

The innocence of childhood and newfound thrill of love and attention in teenage years can be exploited by the wrong people. How do you make children and young adults understand the need to report any kind of harassment and behavior that makes them uncomfortable? How do you tell them that they needn’t ever feel guilty about it? That they are never at fault, no matter what anyone tells them? I don’t have children, but this inevitable duty scares the daylights out of me. What if I fail to guard them against the predatory nature of psychopaths? Reading books that deal with sexual abuse makes me nervous—fiction is often a stark reminder of how abuse can often go unnoticed. But it also fills you with an added sense of responsibility to be better attuned to its signs. 

Heavily influenced by Vladimir Nabokov’s ‘Lolita’ and with multiple references to it throughout the book, ‘My Dark Vanessa’ by Kate Elizabeth Russell is the story of the sexual relationship between a 15-year-old schoolgirl and her 45-year-old English teacher, Jacob Strane. Vanessa, now in her 30s, is being forced to relive what happened to her when sexual abuse allegations are made against Strane by other girls. The problem is, Vanessa doesn’t consider herself to be a victim. For her, Strane was her first love. She lied to protect him when their relationship was discovered during her school days and she has, over the years, been in touch with him every now and then.

Also read: ‘Writers & Lovers’ book review: Finding your footing 

Vanessa blames herself for Strane’s inability to control himself. “I was the first student who put the thought in his head,” she thinks, parroting Strane’s words. “There was something about me that made it worth the risk. I had an allure that drew him in.” Brainwashed into thinking what they had was rare and whatever happened was because Vanessa allowed it, their ‘teacher-student relationship’ never feels like abuse to the victim. Even when Vanessa is uncertain and starts doubting Strane, he finds ways to pin the blame on her and makes her feel guilty—such is the extent of Strane’s manipulation. 

The story feels a bit overwhelming as you can see what the protagonist can’t. You realize how damaged Vanessa is while understanding exactly why she doesn’t think so. Through her story, Russell shows why some women don’t see themselves as victims of abuse and how, because of that, even years later abusers have some form of control over them. My Dark Vanessa, as painful as it is to read and comprehend, is a smart, important book that can be an essential tool to amplify the #MeToo movement.  

My Dark Vanessa

Four stars
Fiction
Kate Elizabeth Russell
Published: 2020
Publisher: William Morrow
Pages: 384, Paperback 

Set in Cambridge, Massachusetts, in 1997, Writers & Lovers, Lily King’s fifth novel, is narrated by 31-year-old Casey Peabody. She is struggling to finish the draft of her first novel while dealing with college loan debts and the grief for her mother’s recent, unexpected passing while on a trip to Chile with her friends. She works at a restaurant, lives in a tiny potting shed and is lonely. As far as protagonists go, she isn’t charming. There’s a lot that makes her anxious and thus she is often a complete mess. But you can connect with her and even want to reach deep into the pages of the book and hug her, despite her infuriating, selfish, entitled behavior. 

Casey has been unlucky in love. And you can see how that has shaped her and made her subconsciously adjust or lower her expectations. Her father, a teacher, turned out to be a peeping tom and was fired for spying on girls’ locker rooms. The boyfriends she has had over the years have been on and off affairs, with one even calling their relationship ‘the work of the devil’. She later finds that he was married. “Nearly every guy I’ve dated believed they should already be famous,” says Casey. They believed that greatness was their destiny and they were already behind schedule.” There is one ‘writer’ she likes but she backtracks when she finds out he has only written 11 and half pages in three years. “That kind of thing is contagious,” she says. 

Also read: ‘You’ book review: The stuff of nightmares 

Though Writers & Lovers has a bleak and rather insipid start, it’s essentially a story about hope and how you can build the life you want if you persevere through the rough, rocky patches. Though there is nothing unique about the story, it has deep and powerful messages about the choices and sacrifices you have to make in order to turn your dreams into reality. However, the first 80 pages or so will leave you feeling a bit uninvested. They seem a little pointless. But keep at it and by the time Casey is shuttling between two polar opposite romantic interests—Oscar, an acclaimed novelist and father of two young boys, and charming Silas who is closer to Casey’s age and a struggling writer—King’s simple prose and rich emotions have made their mark and you will be hooked.

Writers & Lovers

3 stars
Fiction
Lily King
Published: 2020
Publisher: Picador
Pages: 323, Paperback 

‘You’ by Caroline Kepnes is a psychological thriller that will have you looking at people around you a little differently and doubting their intentions and ways. It makes you hyper aware of how people aren’t what they seem to be and that trusting them at face value might not always be a good idea. Basically, it puts you ill at ease. Why read such a book then?

That’s what my husband kept asking me when I was shuddering, shaking my head, and saying ‘this makes my head spin’ over and over again while reading the book. But to say You is gripping and addictive is an understatement. It gets under your skin and you find yourself in the midst of the action. And you want to know what happens next, so much so that you find yourself reading it at every possible chance—while brushing your teeth and making tea, stuck in traffic, and before bed after a long day.

The protagonists, Joe Goldberg and Guinevere Beck, are both dark and twisted characters. Outwardly, they seem perfect—kind, gentle, not flawless but working on their issues—but both have hidden traits and secrets that can destroy them and those around them. In an interview, Kepnes said shiny, happy people give her the creeps and you can see why: She imagines them to be as sinister as Joe and Beck.

Also read: Before the Coffee Gets Cold book review: Feels like a warm hug

From the first time Joe meets Beck at the local bookstore he manages for Mr. Mooney, he becomes obsessed with her. Starting with googling her name and meticulously combing through her Facebook and Twitter accounts, he digs up a lot of information. Then he begins to stalk her, getting inside her home when she’s not there, following her around town, and reading her emails (he pockets her phone when she gets into an accident of sorts and he ‘rescues’ her). Not only is he in love with Beck but he is sure that she feels the same way and is only distancing herself to avoid hurting her feelings.

You get this eerie sense that much of what he feels and thinks is happening is in his head and are his warped interpretation of events instead of the real thing. And then there is Beck who isn’t entirely innocent and nice as Joe makes her out to be. She is needy, manipulative, and there are ulterior motives behind most of her actions. Joe, the stalker, is a smart guy whose actions are unpredictable and disturbing. He keeps you guessing and gasping. The cumulative effect of it all is a very unsettling feeling. There’s a Netflix series based on the book and, with some minor tweaks, it’s almost as good as the original story. But I’d recommend you read the book before you watch the series. It’s such a thrill to watch your eerie visions unfold on screen.

You

Fiction
Caroline Kepnes
Published: 2014
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Pages: 422, Paperback

We all have regrets, things we are embarrassed about and would like to undo if given a chance. But sadly, life doesn’t work like that. As much as we wish it were, time travel isn’t possible in real life. But we can indulge in a little vicarious living every now and then, thanks to good fiction where surreal things like time travel happen all the time. And books like these, though they won’t be able to change our past, can help us make our futures a little better.

Toshikazu Kawaguchi’s ‘Before the Coffee Gets Cold’ takes place in a café in Tokyo where, along with great coffee, customers are given a chance to travel back in time. There’s a woman who goes back in her past to confront the lover who left her, a wife who wants to get a letter her husband wrote to her before his memory started to fade, a pub owner who is estranged from her family but wants to see her sister one last time, and a mother who travels 10 years into her future to get a glimpse of the daughter she never got to meet.

But there are some conditions of time travel: They must sit in a particular seat and not get up—they will be forcibly brought back to the present if they do so. And they must also return to the present before the coffee gets cold, else they will forever be stuck in the past.

Also read: Take a Hint Dani Brown book review: Sweetly seductive

Originally written as a stage play before being adapted into a novel, there is a certain theatricality to it. Even the setting and characters are reminiscent of theater performances. The book consists of four individual stories and though you don’t have to read them in order, it helps if you do. The characters, at least the recurring ones, make better sense that way.

There are times when the narrative is a bit sappy but the lessons the stories impart and the bouts of introspection they lead to more than make up. Another issue I had with the writing style, or perhaps it’s the translation that is faulty, is that the same thing is said multiple times. But these are minor niggles. Before the Coffee Gets Cold might be a little rough but it feels like a comforting warm chocolate drink on breezy autumn evenings.

Before the Coffee Gets Cold

Three stars
Fiction
Toshikazu Kawaguchi
Translated from the Japanese by Geoffrey Trousselot
Published: 2019
Publisher: Picador
Pages: 213, Paperback

Romance isn’t my thing. In real life and in books. But I’m more than willing to make an exception for Talia Hibbert. She is a magician. She takes tried and tested tropes and comes up with absolutely stunning masterpieces. I read ‘Get a Life, Chloe Brown’ because so many of my friends were talking/posting about it. Despite my initial skepticism of the genre, I got sucked into the story and it was a happy time. I read the second book in the three-part series this Dashain and it really helped me cope with festival-induced stress.

I was in a good space mentally, constantly thinking about Danika or Dani and Zafir, the main characters of Hibbert’s ‘Take a Hint, Dani Brown’. This charming story about a young woman who agrees to fake date her friend after a video of him ‘rescuing’ her goes viral was named one of the best romances of 2020 by Buzzfeed, Amazon, Bustle, Washington Post, NPR, Kirkus, among many others. Indeed, it’s an exciting story, with some really steamy scenes and heartwarming instances that leave you with the happy kind of butterflies-in-your tummy feeling.

PhD student Danika Brown thinks romantic partners are distractions. She prefers friends-with-benefits. She prays for it too—a sign from the universe that a particular someone could be that person. When a security guard at Dani’s workplace, Zafir Ansari, rescues Dani from a fire drill gone wrong, Dani thinks there couldn’t be a bigger and clearer sign. Then the viral video has the two ‘pretending’ to be romantically involved but feelings run deep on both sides. However, neither is sure of the other’s feelings and doesn’t want to do anything to sabotage their ‘fake’ relationship. Dani fears being in an actual relationship will shift her focus from work. Zafir is a hopeless romantic but he has issues of his own that stop him from getting too close to anyone.

Also read: I’m Thinking of Ending Things book review: Feels like a fever dream

The ending is predictable (obviously, and you wouldn’t want it any other way) but it’s the journey that has your heart racing. Dani and Zafir’s shenanigans made me giggle, roll my eyes, and laugh out loud. The friends-to-lovers trope is so well executed that it doesn’t feel cliché at all. And Dani and Zafir are such loveable characters. You want them to be your friends. No other characters, of the romance genre at least, have had such an impact on me till now. (Wait, did I say that for Chloe and Redford from ‘Get a Life, Chloe Brown’ as well?).

And no, you don’t have to have read Get a Life, Chloe Brown to pick this one up (though I recommend you do) as it is a complete novel in itself. I’m super excited about ‘Act Your Age, Eve Brown’, the story of the youngest Brown sister, but I have a strong feeling that out of the three sisters, Dani will always be my favorite.

Take a Hint Dani Brown

Four stars
Fiction
Talia Hibbert
Publisher: Avon
Published: 2020
Pages: 400, Paperback

Would you laugh at me if I said I bought ‘I’m Thinking of Ending Things’ by Iain Reid because I just loved the book’s cover and feel? The slim volume felt so nice in my hands. I was holding the book the entire time I was browsing at the Pilgrims Book House in Jhamsikhel, Lalitpur. When it was time to pay for the other three books I had selected, I couldn’t put I’m Thinking of Ending Things back on the shelf. So, I had the cashier ring it up as well. I had already watched the film adaptation by the Oscar winner Charlie Kaufman and it hadn’t made much sense to me. I hadn’t enjoyed the dark and dreary setting. But the book was a lot better than the movie, albeit as confusing.

The story is about an unnamed woman who has been dating a dullish man called Jake for about six weeks when the two decide to go visit Jake’s parents. Now, she doesn’t really know why she’s doing it considering she’s thinking of ending things. She feels like she has sleepwalked into it all and that the two of them, despite the initial attraction, aren’t meant to be together. But still, she finds herself in the car, on a road trip. Here we get to see what she likes about Jake and the two talk about things like memories, faith, the importance of relationships, and how everything is multifaceted. Their conversations give you a lot to think about.

Also read: The Silent Patient book review: Absolutely riveting

Throughout the trip, the woman keeps getting phone calls. But she doesn’t answer them. She keeps making excuses—it’s just her friend calling, she’ll talk to her later or the battery is about to die—and lets the call go to voicemail. You get the sense something is off long before the actual horror begins. There are no other cars on the road, and when they finally reach their destination, all the houses are burnt out or dilapidated.

Though Jake says his parents are expecting them for dinner, the house is in complete darkness. It all feels chillingly sinister. Jake displays awkward behavior time and again. There were times when I felt that had I been in the narrator’s place, I would have jumped out of the car and run screaming. Then, Reid also makes you question the narrator: Is she reliable? The novel takes a horrific turn when the couple stop for dessert (in the middle of a snowstorm) on their way back and then make a detour (to dump the empty containers).

I’m Thinking of Ending Things feels like a fever dream. The claustrophobic setting makes it frighteningly good. Reid’s sparse prose and a dialogue driven narrative keep you hooked. What you know gives you goosebumps yet you wish Reid had told you more. They say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover but just this once I’m glad I did.

I’m Thinking of Ending Things

3.5 stars 
Fiction
Iain Reid
Published: 2016
Publisher: Scout Press
Pages: 216

I had heard a lot about Alex Michaelides’ ‘The Silent Patient’. Authors like C.J Tudor and Lee Child whom I considered the masters of thrillers were raving about it, calling it smart, sophisticated and a very clever book. It’s also being adapted into a screenplay for Brad Pitt’s production company. I put off reading it because the blurb made it sound like a garden-variety thriller. I only picked it up when I wanted a light read. I felt I could read a few pages and then do something else and come back to it and so on and so forth. But I couldn’t have been more wrong. The blurb doesn’t do justice to the riveting story. The Silent Patient is a taut psychological thriller that you won’t be able to put down.

Alicia Berenson, a rising artist, has been convicted of murdering her fashion-photographer husband, Gabriel. But after shooting him in the head five times, she stops speaking. She is taken to the Grove, a secure psychiatric unit, but no medication or treatment can make her talk. Theo Faber, a London-based psychotherapist, is obsessed with Alicia as he has spent two decades in therapy himself, trying to overcome the trauma induced by a father who was cruel to him. As Alicia has had a similar upbringing, he feels she will be able to connect with him and that he is the only one who can make her talk.

Also read: The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo: Blown away

The narrative has Alicia’s journal entries that give us an insight into her life because by the time we meet her she has already stopped talking. We also get to know other people like her husband, Gabriel, her brother-in-law, Max, and some of her friends through these entries. And they are all intriguing, undecipherable characters. Theo, while conducting therapy sessions with Alicia, also speaks to some of her relatives and acquaintances.

The switch between the two voices is refreshing and keeps you hooked because you feel like you are on the verge of discovering something that could be crucial to the plot. Michaelides is primarily a writer of screenplays and that skill has come in handy while working on The Silent Patient—the scenes are so descriptive and thus easy to visualize.

I liked the writing style of The Silent Patient. Not everything is explicitly stated but you can draw a lot of conclusions by analyzing the information you are given. Michaelides keeps throwing things your way to flip the entire narrative around and you are left rethinking everything you have read and reevaluating all your thoughts. The book has several consecutive plot twists that leave you speechless and wondering if any author you have read and loved thus far can now live up to the high expectations you will have from them.

The Silent Patient

Four stars 
Fiction
Alex Michaelides
Published: 2019
Publisher: Orion Books
Pages: 341, Paperback