As a young working girl in my family, I feel stressed out by the things my family members and relatives say like why do I need to work at this age and things along those lines. I sometimes overhear things that I’m not meant to hear. It makes me sad and I lose confidence. How can I manage my feelings and deal with judgmental relatives?
Answered by Kapil Sharma, counseling psychologist
Many young people, especially women, face experiences like this, and I’ve seen such cases before. It’s quite common among youth, and it can be deeply painful—not just because of the words themselves, but because they often come from people we expect to support us. There are psychological and cultural reasons behind this. From a young age, we are conditioned by societal expectations, especially around gender roles, which makes it difficult to deal with criticism or rejection when we don’t meet those standards.
Repeated exposure to negative comments, especially when we already struggle with low self-esteem, can make us even more vulnerable to emotional hurt. Our brains often interpret emotional pain—such as gossip or judgment—almost like physical pain, which is why we can feel overwhelmed. To cope with this, it’s important to allow ourselves to process our emotions rather than suppress them. Acknowledge what you’re feeling, but remind yourself that these words don’t define who you are. Writing down your thoughts or viewing the situation from a different perspective can help bring clarity.
Building inner strength is also key—for example, by saying to yourself: “Yes, this hurts, but what they say reflects more about them than about me.” You don’t always have to confront others, but even mentally reinforcing your boundaries can make a difference. Remind yourself, “I am doing well, and I’m proud of myself,” and try to share your feelings with people who truly value and support you. A helpful metaphor is to imagine yourself as a mountain—the gossip is just an echo. It might be loud, but it can’t move the mountain. Others may try to shape the echo, but they cannot change your core.
Just because someone says something doesn’t mean you have to believe it or act on it. Your worth is not determined by others’ opinions. And if things ever feel too heavy to carry alone, it’s perfectly okay to seek therapy or professional help. Taking care of your mental health is a strength, not a weakness.
