What do I do if I feel stuck in a job that pays well but drains me emotionally?
Answered by Khushbu Agarwal, psychologist
The most important thing in this kind of situation is to understand what’s draining you: Is it the nature of the work or the environment, as in is it too monotonous or doesn’t align with your values? It could also be due to a toxic or high pressure work environment, micromanaging boss, difficult colleague or unsupportive coworkers.
Once you identify the source of the emotional drain, you will know whether it can be adjusted or if a bigger change is needed. Bigger change like leaving immediately could be risky. You could try adjusting your role and responsibilities, as sometimes a shift within the job can help you get some breathing room while you plan.
Start exploring skills, training, or side projects that align more with who you are and network in fields or communities that energize you. Save money consistently to build a ‘freedom fund’ if you're worried about security. You should also be able to identify what matters to you most and figure out if your current job supports you to achieve it. Most importantly, if money weren’t a factor, what would you want to spend your time doing?
Work-life balance is also crucial as it’s a boundary system that protects your mental health, relationships, and sense of self from being consumed by your job. When you’re emotionally drained by work, restoring balance becomes a necessity, not a luxury. We often confuse it with giving equal time at work and personal life but it simply means balancing where you rest without guilt and have time for relationships, hobbies and health. You shouldn’t feel like your identity is tied only to your job.
In order to have a healthy balance, you should be able to define your start and stop time and then actually log off and turn off non-urgent notifications after work hours. Cut what you can from the energy drainers and focus on what recharges you, whether it’s reading, walks, music, or quiet time. Prioritizing important over urgent work and giving yourself permission to rest is a form of recovery not laziness.
I would also like to ask you to take one hour a week for something joyful or creative, take 10 mins daily to breathe, stretch, or simply do nothing, and block a full day per month with no plans to reconnect with yourself
Don’t make any impulsive decisions, and discuss your thoughts with a coach, manager, boss or mentor. Express your concerns clearly but respectfully. You might find a fresh perspective or just relief in being heard. Isolation often intensifies the feeling of being ‘stuck.’
Burnout and chronic emotional drain can lead to anxiety, depression, or physical exhaustion. If you’re experiencing numbness, dread, or disconnection, consider talking to a mental health professional. Sometimes the fog clears when your nervous system has space to breathe again.
