Some friendships become toxic over time, leaving you emotionally drained. How can you recognize when to walk away and how can you cope with the loss?

Answered by Tashi Gurung, counseling psychologist

Not all friendships in our lives are truly meaningful, even if they may seem important at first. When we take a moment to genuinely reflect and analyze the nature of our relationships over time, we can begin to discern whether they are actually healthy or simply habitual. It’s easy to hold on to a connection just because of shared history, but history alone doesn’t justify emotional strain.
Ask yourself: Does spending time with this friend leave me feeling anxious, unheard, or consistently drained? Do I find myself constantly putting in more effort than I receive? Do I feel unappreciated, disrespected, or subtly undermined by passive-aggressive behavior? Is there a sense of rivalry disguised as concern, or do I feel emotionally manipulated? If the answers to these questions lean toward yes, then it may be time to consider stepping away.
Letting go of such a relationship isn’t easy. Ending a friendship, especially one that may have once been close, can trigger a deep sense of grief. These emotions are valid. You might feel a mix of sadness, guilt, anger, or even relief. All of these responses are normal, and it’s important to accept them without judgment. There is no ‘right’ way to feel when a chapter closes.
During this period of emotional transition, it’s helpful to lean on the people who have consistently shown up for you—those who support you with sincerity and care. Engaging in fulfilling activities, spending time with loved ones, or even diving into creative hobbies can be ways to reconnect with yourself and replenish your emotional energy.
Ultimately, learning to let go is a powerful skill, one rooted in self-awareness and self-respect. Walking away from a toxic or unbalanced friendship is not a sign of failure. In fact, it’s a meaningful step toward preserving your well-being and honoring your personal growth. Choosing peace over persistent discomfort is one of the most courageous acts of self-love.
And as we move forward, it's important to remember that not every ending is a loss. By creating space in our lives, we open the door for new, healthier connections to find us—relationships built on mutual respect, understanding, and genuine care. The right people will never make you question your worth. They will help you see it more clearly.