As people grow older, friendships naturally change, but some struggle to maintain strong connections. How can one build and sustain deep friendships in adulthood?
Answered by Rika Rijal, Consultant Psychologist
Building and sustaining deep friendships in adulthood can be challenging due to busy schedules, career pressures, family responsibilities, and changing priorities. However, it’s definitely possible with intentional effort.
Being proactive and intentional can be helpful. Don’t wait for others to reach out—be the one to check in, suggest a coffee meetup, or plan a get-together. Similarly, set regular hangouts. Consistency is the key. Whether it’s a monthly dinner, a weekly call, or joining a hobby group, making time for friends strengthens bonds.
Also, sometimes pursuing common interests can also help. Joining clubs, fitness classes, book clubs, or volunteer groups will help naturally meet people who share your interests. Friendships often develop more easily when you’re engaged in activities you enjoy.
Similarly, deep connections form when people feel safe sharing their true selves. Share your thoughts, struggles, and joys, and encourage your friends to do the same. Authenticity builds trust. Listening attentively and empathetically is essential. Show genuine interest in your friends’ lives, ask thoughtful questions, and avoid distractions during conversations.
Be the friend who shows up, whether it’s for a celebration or during a tough time. Reliability and dependability strengthen relationships over time. Not every friend will fulfill every need, and that’s okay. Some friends may be great for deep conversations, while others are wonderful for fun adventures. Appreciate the diversity in your connections. Building deep friendships takes time. Not every initial connection will develop into a lifelong bond, and that’s natural. Keep nurturing the ones that feel mutual and positive. Life gets busy, and sometimes friendships drift. Don’t let guilt stop you from reaching out after a long time—most people appreciate the effort to reconnect, even after a gap. Healthy boundaries are essential in friendships. Make sure your relationships are balanced, where both people give and take without feeling drained or used. Sometimes, potential friends come from unexpected places—neighbours, colleagues, or even brief encounters at events. Stay open to new connections!
Friendship in adulthood might take more effort, but the rewards of strong, supportive relationships are worth it. By being intentional, consistent, and kind, you can create and sustain friendships that bring joy, comfort, and meaning to your life.
