After experiencing repeated failures, some people lose the will to try again. How can they rebuild resilience and move forward without fear?
Answered by Khusbhu Agarwal, Psychologist, Happy Minds
The first few effects of persistent failure feels like a myriad of negative emotions. Disappointment, frustration, sadness, and even shame will always feel overwhelming. Ignoring these emotions is to build a wall against a fully blown dam. It’s hard when you fail over and over again, as this prevents you from attempting new things. Re-establishing resilience is not an instant solution, but rather a process that is attainable. To do so, it’s as simple as talking to a trusted family member, friend or therapist, as they would be able to give you the emotional support you seek. Doing this allows you to not suppress the feelings of disappointment, sadness, and frustration as your emotions will rather be validated.
Journaling, on the other hand, also helps you to process your thoughts and gives you a sense of clarity. Speaking to someone can also help you shift or change your perspective and the way you view failure. It’s crucial to look at failure as a learning curve instead of a benchmark to judge your worth. The way you perceive failure greatly impacts your ability to bounce back from it. Sometimes generalizing leads to a specific conclusion like everyone on this planet will fail or at least face one type of obstacle in their contacts and not letting every hurdle prevent them from succeeding in life. On top of that, it’s taxing when people don’t appreciate hard work. You should always celebrate your achievements on a personal level as those are reminders to yourself that effort was made and progress was achieved. Such easily achievable tasks can assist in rebuilding your confidence. Additionally, being kind to yourself, in the same way you would extend compassion towards others who are struggling, is extremely crucial.
Strategies and mindset both play a role in resilience, so building practical strategies is equally important. Positivity is one of the many tools that aids in resilience. Surrounding yourself with people who exhibit positivity can energize you and help you during difficult situations. Creating a strong supportive network can serve as a safe place when you experience troubling times.
The nervous system can be calmed through meditation, deep breathing exercises, and yoga. The basic physical needs of having carbs as comfort foods, working out, and dozing off to regain energy is vital in enabling further productivity. Pick a day in your calendar and block it off to schedule worrying. It might sound odd but this stops you from worrying for days and aids in breaking down problems into simple constructive and achievable bits.
Understand that it’s vital to remain open minded towards whatever change comes your way and change your plans accordingly as it’s impossible to manage every result. What is manageable is your effort and attitude. Let your worries motivate you instead of letting them control you and take reasonably calculated steps out of your safe space. Picture your triumph, see yourself successfully completing your objectives as it also serves to inspire and increase your self-belief. Even tiny steps can aid you in beating fear and developing momentum. Also,don’t ignore the fact that every single person is living with a certain sense of vulnerability, learning to accept what they don’t know and concentrating on the now.
Having strong determination and resilience is an overall lifetime journey, not a one time event. Achieving goals requires continuous purposeful actions, kindness towards yourself, and willingness to develop and make changes. If these techniques are put in practice consistently, people can build their strength and determination, overcome their fears, and be able to look forward with a sense of purpose and hope.
