Mind Matters | Feeling inadequate

I’m 24, and lately, I’ve been feeling stuck. Every time I open Instagram or scroll through TikTok, I get hit by a wave of inadequacy. I see people my age, even younger, traveling, getting promotions, starting businesses, and I can’t help but feel like I’m falling behind. Logically, I know everyone’s just posting their best moments, but I still compare myself to them. Their lives look perfect, while mine feels ordinary. I keep asking myself, “Why not me?” and “What am I doing wrong?” I’ve tried cutting back on social media, but it’s hard to stop. It feels like I’m constantly competing and losing. What should I do?

Answered by Kapil Sharma, counseling psychologist at BETTER MIND

You’re not alone—many people are facing this challenge. Social media can also make things harder. The reasons for this could be many, but one major factor might be the comparison trap. In a comparison trap, there is an inner desire or drive to evaluate yourself against others. It’s natural to compare your abilities and achievements with others. But when you idealize someone or compare yourself to an unrealistic standard, this can create an inferiority complex.

The second one is the fear of missing out. This means feeling like others are living a more fulfilling life while you’re stuck. When your friends are traveling, posting photos, celebrating milestones, and you feel like you’re stuck in your routine, it leads to feelings of inadequacy.

I would suggest being intentional about who you follow and what you watch on social media. If certain accounts make you feel jealous or lead to unhealthy comparisons, consider muting or unfollowing them. Instead, follow accounts that promote self-acceptance and body positivity. You can also manage your social media notifications, setting specific times when you’ll use and avoid using social media. Use awareness apps to track your social media usage.

Be mindful of what you consume on social media and limit your screen time. If it’s not benefiting you, try other activities. For example, if you watch TikTok for 30 minutes and feel drained, note this in a journal. Then next time, decide on an alternative activity. This helps prepare you for future situations. For example, if you’re working on an assignment but feel the urge to check your phone, ask yourself why you feel helpless or why you aren’t focusing on your own progress.

Just being aware of these issues is a big step. You’ll start noticing what’s not working for you and where you need to make changes. Practicing gratitude can also help—focusing on small things that make you happy and being grateful for them. If social media affects your emotional health, take note of where you feel controlled or helpless.

Social media management is not just a technical issue, it’s an emotional regulation issue. If it were purely technical, everyone would experience the same feelings. But it’s not just about the tools, it’s about emotion management. Instead of seeking external validation, focus on internal fulfillment and personal growth. If you’re struggling to regulate your behavior and emotion regarding social media usage, consider talking to a therapist to guide you through it.