Mind Matters | Burden of expectations

I’m a student waiting for my +2 results. I’m feeling really anxious and stressed. The uncertainty and the high expectations I’ve set for myself, along with the pressure I feel from others, are overwhelming. The fear of not meeting these expectations is consuming me. I’m trying to manage this by staying present and maintaining a healthy routine. I’ve been setting achievable goals and focusing on what I can control. I keep reminding myself that every experience is a learning opportunity and that I have the strength to get through whatever comes my way. I’m trying to stay positive, but it’s tough. What should I do?

Answer by Dr Rika Rijal, Consultant Psychiatrist

Winston Churchill, former prime minister of the UK, said, “Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It’s the courage to continue that counts.” Feeling anxious about the future is a common experience, especially when facing important milestones like exam results. Our brains naturally seek certainty and predictability. Not knowing the outcome or uncertainty about something can be stressful.

Another reason for your worry can be that if you have set high expectations for yourself or feel others have high expectations of you, it can add to the pressure. Additionally, worrying about not meeting expectations or failing can be overwhelming. That feeling that the result is out of your hands and nothing can be done now can contribute to your anxiety.

What you can do in this situation is acknowledge your feelings. Understand that it’s okay to feel anxious. Accepting your feelings can be the first step towards managing them. Focusing on the present moment rather than worrying about the past or future and practicing mindfulness can help you stay grounded.

Sharing and talking about your concerns with friends, family, or a mental health professional can help relieve stress and provide new perspectives on your current situation. Maintaining a healthy routine with regular exercise, involving yourself in some hobbies, can help you stay occupied throughout the day, which in turn can have a significant impact on your mental well-being.

Also, as you wait for the results, setting achievable goals and breaking tasks into smaller steps can make the future seem more manageable. While you can’t control the results, you can control how you prepare for the future and respond to different outcomes. Hard times don’t last forever. Remember to take every experience in your life as a learning lesson. Lastly, it’s a challenging time, but you have the strength to get through it. So, buckle up, look forward, and keep going.