Mind Matters | Family issues

I’m 28 and I’m dealing with family problems that are affecting my mental health. My parents argue constantly, creating a tense and stressful environment at home. This ongoing conflict makes me feel anxious and distracted, impacting my work and personal life. I’ve been trying to cope by spending more time on hobbies and having honest conversations with my parents about how their conflicts affect me, but the emotional strain remains heavy. I’m seeking suggestions on how to better manage the impact of these family issues on my mental health. What should I do? Please help! 

Answered by Kapil Sharma, counseling psychologist, Nepal Institute of Mental Health

I’m deeply sorry to hear about the difficulties you’re facing. Family conflicts can indeed have a significant impact on mental health, leading to feelings of anxiety, stress, and difficulty concentrating.

From what you’ve shared, your condition might be due to chronic stress and emotional contagion. Chronic stress comes from ongoing family conflicts, keeping your stress levels high and making it hard to relax. Emotional contagion means you absorb and mirror the negative emotions around you, so your parents’ anxiety and tension might be causing you to feel similarly anxious and on edge.

Mindfulness and relaxation techniques could help you calm down. Think of mindfulness as a mental reset button, allowing you to find peace amidst the chaos. Incorporate deep breathing, meditation, or muscle relaxation for 10-15 minutes daily to reduce anxiety and maintain calm.

Establishing boundaries can help protect your mental space. Think of them as a protective fence. Set specific times for family discussions or retreat to a quiet space during arguments. Politely inform your parents that you need personal time to decompress and focus on your well-being.

Self-care is essential. It refuels your energy and strength to face challenges. Engage in hobbies and activities that bring joy and relaxation, like reading, exercising, or spending time with friends. Dedicate time each week for these activities to maintain your mental health.

Lastly, seeking professional help is crucial. A therapist can act as your mental health coach, guiding you through complex family dynamics. Therapy provides a safe space to process emotions and develop coping strategies. Regular sessions can help you explore feelings, learn stress management techniques, and build resilience. Prioritizing your mental health is essential, and taking proactive steps can significantly improve your overall well-being.