Mind Matters | Overburdened with responsibilities

I have a job at my college and an internship elsewhere. Juggling work and studies has caused my social life to suffer, and I’m spending less time with my family. I find it challenging to balance everything, but I worry about missing out on opportunities if I give something up. How can I manage everything while still maintaining my social life and making sure I spend quality time with my family?

Answered by Kapil Sharma, counseling psychologist, Nepal Institute of Mental Health

Balancing work, studies, and an internship, alongside maintaining a social life and making time for yourself and family is undoubtedly a challenging feat, especially at your age. It requires exceptional time management skills and dedication. Your effort to juggle these responsibilities and make the most out of each aspect of your life is truly commendable.

There are several psychological factors that might be contributing to your situation, one of which could be perfectionism coupled with a fear of missing out. You might feel the need to excel in everything you do and be the best in every aspect of your life. This can lead to a state of being overly available and constantly on high alert. Such a personality trait is indeed challenging. This often results in taking on multiple roles, which can be emotionally exhausting.

Another reason for your situation could be feelings of guilt and obligation. You may feel guilty about not spending enough time with your family and friends, leading to a persistent sense of obligation. These thoughts create a cycle where you constantly worry about not meeting their expectations. This sense of duty can be overwhelming.

If you feel your situation stems from a fear of missing out at work, which puts you in a constant state of high alert, leading to distraction, stress, and the feeling that there’s never enough time to complete everything, it’s important to reassess your priorities.

Start by prioritizing your tasks and clearly defining what needs to be done, how to do it, and when. Learning and applying effective time management techniques can help significantly. For instance, try time-blocking, where you dedicate specific blocks of time exclusively for work, study, and personal life. This way, you can avoid letting these different aspects of your life overlap and cause further stress.

Communication is also crucial. Try talking to your family and friends, explaining that your work commitments leave you with less time to spend quality time with them. You might be surprised at how understanding and supportive they can be. Without this communication, you might feel even guiltier, thinking your family believes you’re neglecting them, which can lead to feelings of double burden and anxiety. Regularly checking in with them, asking how they’re doing, and ensuring they’re okay in small, consistent interactions can bridge this communication gap and alleviate some of your stress.

You should focus on setting boundaries, especially if you feel overwhelmed by taking on too much at once. Reflect on whether your situation is driven by uncertainty, insecurity, or fear, as understanding this is equally important for your emotional well-being.

Seeking professional support might be beneficial. A therapist can help you manage stress, responsibilities, and provide guidance on coping strategies and techniques to restructure your thought patterns. This professional assistance can be invaluable in navigating your current challenges.