It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions recently. Growing up at the orphanage, she seemed like family, even though we weren’t very close. When I learned of her suicide, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt an enormous loss while also feeling angry at her for abandoning us. Strangely, I couldn’t cry. Then the panic episodes began—twice now—making me feel as if I can’t catch my breath. To make matters worse, her family members turned up at the orphanage, blaming us and demanding legal action. At 21, I feel lost. It’s like everything is spiraling out of control, and I don’t know how to cope. What should I do?

Answered by Kapil Sharma, counseling psychologist, Nepal Institute of Mental Health

Navigating the loss of a loved one, especially under such complex circumstances, can be challenging and overwhelming. As you struggle with the grief and emotional turmoil that comes when someone dies by suicide, it’s important to prioritize your mental and emotional well-being.

Acknowledging and processing your experience is important. You can do this by writing down your thoughts on paper or communicating with loved ones which can provide comfort. Openly expressing emotions in writing can help understand experiences and initiate awareness and healing.

First, recognize the complexities of your emotions, particularly in stressful situations. Recognize that it’s common to experience a variety of emotions, including sadness, rage, and numbness, especially while coping with bereavement or difficult situations. Understanding and embracing these sensations without judgment is critical to beginning the healing process.

Grief may be overwhelming, and you may need further help from a therapist or grief counselor. These specialists can provide assistance and tools for managing loss, as well as a safe environment for you to express your feelings and progress through the grieving process at your own speed. They can also provide coping methods to assist you overcome the difficulties of grieving and achieve a sense of calm and acceptance.

To manage panic attacks, develop coping mechanisms like deep breathing exercises, mindfulness techniques, and muscle relaxation. Engage in self-care activities like exercise, sleep, and healthy eating to support overall well-being and reduce the frequency and intensity of panic attacks.

If you’re struggling with complex emotions or finding it challenging to manage on your own, seek professional help from mental health professionals like therapists or counselors. They offer personalized support, coping strategies, and a non-judgmental space for exploring your feelings and working towards healing and growth.