Mind Matters | Undervalued and ignored

I’m a 46-year-old housewife. I wake up every morning to the same routine. I cook breakfast, clean the house, do the laundry, and run errands. My days blur together in a never-ending cycle of chores. Despite my efforts, I feel like I’m constantly overlooked and unappreciated by my family. The exhaustion is taking its toll on me, both physically and mentally. I long for a break from this monotonous life, but I feel trapped, unable to escape the demands of my daily responsibilities. I need to break free from this cycle and find some much-needed relief. Please help!

Answered by Shravasti Tuladhar, psychosocial counselor

It’s no easy feat to be a housewife. A home needs a lot of looking after and that you are doing everything you can is commendable and appreciable. The weight of managing a Nepali household—the endless cycle of cooking, cleaning, and errands—is something many homemakers can understand.

These countless tasks, often performed with unwavering dedication, can leave you feeling overlooked and undervalued. This constant pressure can lead to exhaustion, a sense of isolation, and the feeling of being trapped in a never-ending cycle.

It’s difficult but not impossible to get over the feeling you’re experiencing. First, acknowledge your worth. Start by recognizing the immense value you bring to your family by managing the household. It’s a demanding and often thankless job, but essential for your family’s wellbeing.

Communicate your needs. Start talking openly with your family about feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes, we carry the weight of the household because we feel responsible for everyone and everything. However, a healthy family thrives when everyone contributes. By delegating tasks, seeking help from others, and establishing healthy boundaries, you create space for yourself and empower others to take responsibility.

This not only reduces your burden but also adds value to your contributions to the family. The next step is to prioritize self-care. A woman works and cares for everyone but often fails to care for herself. Schedule time for activities you enjoy, even if it’s just a few minutes a day. This could be reading, taking a walk, or connecting with friends and family. You deserve a break. It's important to remember that self-care isn’t selfish. It’s essential for your well-being and the well-being of your family.

If you feel overwhelmed and feel like nothing is working, seek support. Reaching out to a professional is a great step. It acknowledges the need for support. Don’t hesitate to talk to a therapist or counselor. They can give guidance to manage stress, help you rediscover your passions, discuss your feelings in detail, and create a sense of fulfillment in your life.