Query

I am a 21-year-old student who was diagnosed with depression and borderline personality disorder when I was 17. I was given medication to treat my depression. But last year, I quit my medication without consulting my psychiatrist. I feel like I am doing fine and I am mentally stable. I fear that my psychiatrist will get angry with me if I tell her that I quit my medication. But at the same time, I also need an expert to tell me that I am indeed fine. What should I do?—A confused patient 

Answer by Kapil Sharma, Counseling Psychologist, Hudec Nepal

The first thing you need to understand is that your psychiatrist is there to help you, not judge you. Your doctor will not be angry at you. She is there to guide you. There are many cases of patients quitting medication without any consultation. Chances are your psychiatrist may have had the experience of cases like this before. 

You should also understand that the fear of her getting angry is an imaginary scenario that you have created in your mind. Again, know that your doctor is there to help you.

Second, every doctor wants their patients to be happy and healthy. It is the same in your case. You being better is the main goal, for both you and your doctor. If quitting medication has made you feel better, then your psychiatrist will definitely address that. 

But sometimes while we think we are doing fine, something inside us might be going wrong. So it is necessary for you to visit a professional and get a legitimate diagnosis. It is the only way to determine whether you are actually doing fine. 

Feeling good and being healthy are two different things. Sometimes when we feel good about our mental health, we might still not be healthy. That’s why professional diagnosis is essential.

In case the diagnosis is positive, then that’s great. But if it turns out to be negative, there is no need to panic as well. Sometimes we slip off and we pull ourselves back again. The doctor will give you necessary suggestions, will resume the required medication if you need it, and with a bit of time, you will regain your mental health. No matter what happens, your psychiatrist will always be on your side, as both of you have the same goal—your mental wellbeing. 

Coming back to your fear of angering your doctor, if you are unable to move on from this fear, you can always consult a new psychiatrist. You might feel the new psychiatrist does not know your history. That is alright. In some cases, a patient’s mental health history is not necessary. Also, you can always share your history with your new doctor. 

I still suggest you visit your psychiatrist to gain more clarity on what to do next. If you cannot, you can always go to a new one.