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Sixty-year-old Shanta Majhi, who lives in Samakhusi, Kathmandu, has been working as a taxi driver for the past 27 years. It’s a tiresome and thankless job, he says, but he has persevered because he wants to provide his children the things he never had: parental guidance and a good education. “I have had to struggle for survival since I was nine-years-old,” says Majhi, who was born and raised in Ramechhap, in the Bagmati Province of Nepal. Despite being an only child, he says he had to take care of himself, and going to school was never an option. He had to manage his own expenses, and he worked as a househelp for one of the families in his hometown. “I didn’t have anyone to guide me or show any forms of love or affection,” he says, “I always felt my parents’ absence.” Majhi mentions that although he was fed and had a roof over his head, he was never treated well. “They called me demeaning names, and always behaved badly,” he adds. It wasn’t the kind of life he had hoped for. So Majhi left for Kathmandu, the city of dreams of many people in his hometown, at the age of 21. But life in Kathmandu wasn’t very different from life back home. Finding a decent job turned out to be almost impossible. Fortunately, Majhi landed a job as a mechanic. Next on his wish list was to save enough to be able to start a family. “I dreamt of getting married someday, and having my children run around the house,” he says. It was his way of creating the family he never had as a child. He worked relentlessly for eight years before getting married at the age of 29. His wife worked as a maid. She still does. Majhi laments he hasn’t been able to give her a comfortable life. After 12 years of working as a mechanic, he was finally able to save enough to buy his own taxi. He hoped starting his own business, however small, would enable him to give his family all the things they wanted. By then, Majhi and his wife had had two daughters and a son. “I wanted them to get a good education, which I never got,” he says. Driven by that need, he sent his children abroad for higher education. One of his daughters is now a nurse in Australia, while the other is studying in Malda in West Bengal, India. His son is majoring in graphic designing in Australia. But all this came at a cost. Majhi took out huge loans and is now buried in debt. Although he firmly believes he made the right decision, the amount of money he needs to pay back keeps him up at night. Paying off their loans would be much easier if there weren’t extra expenses they had to take care of, says Majhi. With 15 hours on the road every day, the taxi needs regular repair. The rough, bumpy roads of Kathmandu coupled with the occasional damage by reckless bikers means he has to shell out quite a bit of money to keep his vehicle in a good condition. “Fuel is so costly that it’s hard to make a profit,” he says. The couple’s financial condition worsened during the Covid-19 pandemic. Both of them had to depend on whatever little savings they had, with no job whatsoever during the lockdown. “We relied on the ration distributions and help from some organizations for our daily meal,” he says. Then there are also his health issues that require frequent hospital visits. Majhi is on medication for high blood pressure and liver problems. Since he works for more than half a day, he is also unable to follow a good diet. On top of that, he suffers from anxiety and depression as a result of his traumatic childhood but he confesses he doesn’t want to take medication for it. He says he has lived most of his life in denial about his mental health issues. “At first, I didn’t know what any of those terms meant. I didn’t want to believe those problems even existed,” he says. But now, even when he knows he needs help, he says he doesn’t have the money to go visit a doctor or see a therapist. “People say health should be everyone’s priority but when you are poor, you don’t have that luxury,” he adds. His wife too struggles with anxiety and myalgia. But they need to decide which of their issues is worth spending money on.  Often, one is overlooked in favor of another. “Our eldest daughter helps us out financially in times of need. But in this economy, I want her to think of herself first and not spend all her money on us,” he says. Despite having had a difficult life, he has only one regret. Majhi was so consumed with building a life for his children that he never got to give time for himself. “I had dreams too, which never got fulfilled,” he says. He wanted to build a house for himself in his hometown, Ramechhap, but with the debt he already has, he is now skeptical if he will ever get to live in his own house. Right now, he and his wife live in a rented room for which they have to shell out Rs 6,000 every month. He sometimes wonders how his life would have turned out had his parents not passed away when he was young. He thinks that maybe he could have gotten a degree, and his life would have been completely different. “But there is no point dwelling on it,” he adds. Nevertheless, he feels extremely proud when he thinks about his children. He is filled with a sense of accomplishment. “When I see them happy and doing well in life, I feel like all our struggles have paid off,” he says.

Forty-one-year-old Rashmi Karki, who works for an NGO, lost her grandfather six months ago. He slipped and fell in the bathroom at their home in Kalanki, Kathmandu. He was 85. “My brother found him unconscious in the bathroom. We rushed him to hospital where the doctors declared him dead. They said he had suffered a head injury,” says Karki. Karki’s family had meant to ‘age-proof’ the bathroom. A relative had fractured her leg, after slipping in the shower, and Karki’s family was concerned about their safety as well. They were planning to install some handrails along the wall to hold on to, as well as buy some grip mats for the shower area. According to a report by the World Health Organization, fall is the leading cause of morbidity and the second biggest cause of unintentional injury-related mortality globally. Every year, 172 million people are injured, leading to short- and long-term disabilities, and 646,000 people die from fall-related injuries. Almost 80 percent of fall-related deaths and disabilities occur in low- and middle-income countries. A study by Nepal Surgeons Overseas Assessment of Surgical Need (SOSAS) has estimated that there are 16,600 deaths annually due to falls in Nepal. The study also found that fall injuries are the most common type of injury in Nepali people, accounting for 37.5 percent of all accidents. The risk of falling increases with age, says Dr Santosh Bhusal, medical officer at Civil Service Hospital in Minbhawan, Kathmandu. It could be because of poor eyesight, side effects of medicines that cause drowsiness, or the body becoming weak due to various underlying medical conditions. Bathroom falls are more common as tiles become slippery when wet. This past October, CPN-UML leader Balkrishna Dhungel died after falling in the bathroom of his residence in Gothatar, Kathmandu. Fatal injuries aside, falling in bathrooms often lead to hip joint dislocation and other compound fractures that take a long time to heal, especially in elderly people, says Dr Bhusal. Prakash Duggar, CEO, Kajaria Tiles Nepal, says safety should be the priority when designing bathrooms. Earlier, people opted for glossy tiles for their shiny and smooth finish. These days, matt tiles are preferred for their anti-skid properties. “Wholesalers and designers should also make their customers and clients aware about the kind of materials that should be used in bathrooms,” he says. He also suggests installing grab bars near commodes and in the bath. These are basically just steel rods, pretty much like a towel rack but stronger, that you can hold on to while getting up. Bars bolted to the walls are better than suction cup bars that can easily shift or get dislodged. They should also have a slip-resistant surface rather than a glossy finish. This, Duggar says, can significantly reduce the number of falls in elderly people as most bathroom accidents happen in the shower or while trying to get up from the commode. Most people ApEx spoke to said they were aware of the risks of bathroom accidents. They said they often told their grandparents, parents, or children to be careful. But accidents might happen despite being cautious. Duggar insists on matt tiles that aren’t slippery even when laced with soap or shampoo. You can apparently even install these in an old bathroom, on top of the flooring already there. At Kajaria, they have a tile option that can go on top of tiles, marble, or granite. “Your bathroom won’t have to be torn down and redesigned, if that’s what you fear,” says Duggar, adding most traders these days recommend matt tiles over glossy ones but there are plenty of sellers who don’t bother informing their customers. Kunal Thapa, director of Yarpa Traders, says a lot of focus goes on designing aesthetically pleasing bathrooms. But there are plenty of ways to make it safe without compromising on the looks. “I believe it’s the construction companies’ and material suppliers’ duty to make people aware about how their bathrooms should be designed to prevent accidents,” he says. Besides that, there are many simple ways to minimize the risk of slips and falls in bathrooms. One could be fixing a shower chair with non-slip rubber tips on the legs. Thapa suggests considering the lighting as well. Sometimes, accidents happen because of poor visibility. Karki, on the other hand, prefers a walk-in bath to a traditional tub that you have to climb over to get into. She says her family has also taken to storing essential items within easy reach to avoid falling while stretching or bending for the shampoo or loofah. “There’s nothing worse than losing a loved one or seeing them suffer because you failed to take simple precautions,” says Karki.  

With generous support from political parties and individual lawmakers across the board, a nascent ruling coalition under Pushpa Kamal Dahal won a crucial vote of confidence in the House of Representatives with an unprecedented majority, securing 268 votes in the 275-strong parliament that had 270 members present on the important day. Paradoxically, the victory in the parliament with a fractured mandate appears to have unseated the 78-member-strong CPN (UML) from its position of the kingmaker, with the largest party, the Nepali Congress, throwing its weight behind the coalition under the CPN (Maoist Center), which has 32 members in the parliament. Out of 89 NC lawmakers, 85 voted for the coalition, while one NC member could not vote as he had a court case pending against him. Lawmakers Kishor Singh Rathaur, Manoram Sherchan and Ambika Basnet were absent. Pashupati Shumsher Rana JBR, lawmaker from the Rastriya Prajatantra Party, could not vote as he was chairing the session. The NC supporting the ruling coalition means the bargaining power of the Maoist party will increase and Dahal will no longer be at the mercy of the second largest party in the parliament to remain in power. This lifeline will be crucial for Dahal and co if the UML-Maoist alliance comes under strain and headwinds begin to blow, especially after 2.5 years, the Constitution-set embargo for a change of guard. In such a case, if push comes to shove, Dahal will have a lifeline ready. Anyway, with Rastriya Swatantra Party (20 seats), Rastriya Prajatantra Party (14), Janata Samajvadi Party (12), CPN-Unified Socialist (10), Janamat Party (10), Loktantrik Samajvadi Party (4), Nagarik Unmukti Party (3) and five independents, a good number of political equations are possible even if Nepal Workers’ and Peasants’ Party and Rastriya Janamorcha—one seat each—choose to remain firmly in the opposition. After the euphoria over this victory is over, the Dahal-led government would do well to look back a little bit. Let’s just cite a few examples from Nepal’s contemporary history. In 2018, the KP Oli-led ruling coalition had a two-third majority in the parliament. However, it came crashing down barely three years later, thanks mainly to rifts within. In the 90’s, the NC got majority to form the government twice. But these governments became castles in the wind with the party riven by internal feuds. In the general election held after the establishment of a multiparty democratic polity in 1958, the BP Koirala government (NC) garnered a two-third majority in the parliament. But the government did not last long. Feuds within the party had a role in this collapse, apart from the then monarch’s ambitions. None of the majority governments formed in a space of six decades or so have survived full term. In such a context, the Dahal government would do well to tread with caution.  

I’m a 19-year-old student and my parents weren’t affectionate or caring when I was growing up. I tried a lot as a child to get appreciation from my parents but failed to do so every single time. I never knew they were being unfair to me. But now when I hear about others’ childhoods, I have come to realize that I was quite unfortunate. It pains me to think about that, and it has been affecting my mental health and emotional stability. What should I do? -RK Answered by Kapil Sharma, counseling psychologist, Nepal Institute of Mental Health It’s understandable that you are going through emotional turmoil, as you have mentioned that your parents were emotionally unavailable when you were a child. What I can understand from what you’ve shared is that you have struggled with validating your emotions as a child. You also seem to be well aware that it was unfair to you. That realization is a good thing as it helps you understand that none of that was your fault. Understanding what’s happening is the first step you need to take before finding a solution.  Our personalities are heavily influenced by our past experiences. Since your emotional needs weren’t met as a child, that experience is pushing you towards being emotionally vulnerable as you grow up. However, this is the right time to start a constructive healing process. Sometimes we tend to grasp onto things that are beyond your control. In your case, it’s your past experiences. I know it’s easier said than done but it’s time to let go of the past.  Talking to your parents is the best course of action because it will benefit both of you. It will help both of you understand each others’ perspectives. Find a time where all three of you are in a calm headspace to have a conversation. If you are scared of doing it alone, you can always have a friend sit next to you for emotional support. But if talking to your parents directly is too stressful for you, there are certain things you can do on your own.  Start with journaling. Take a pen and paper and jot down the things you are struggling with, at what intensity it affects you, and if there is anything you can do to feel better. This process might be overwhelming but accepting your pain is better than suppressing it. It’s the beginning of every healing process.  Secondly, be responsible for your own happiness. You can start by engaging yourself in activities you love the most. Pick up a hobby. I’m not asking you to be hostile towards someone who is affectionate or loving. It’s necessary to have people who love and care for you around. But don’t let your happiness depend on them completely. You need to be able to be there for yourself the way you expect others to be there for you. You also need to understand what triggers your emotional instability. Sometimes, our subconscious mind connects even the smallest objects around us with our past trauma. It can be a person, or something as random as a mug. In that case, take three deep breaths, and start listing the positive aspects of those triggering factors. It will be a little difficult at first, but you will get there as you practice.  But most importantly, as I mentioned earlier too, it’s time to let go of your past. And the best way to do that is by practicing mindfulness. It’s a kind of meditation you do to create a peaceful headspace. You will find a lot of mindfulness meditation online. This can help you be mindful of the present and look forward to the future with an optimistic mindset. If doing all of this on your own turns out to be too difficult, you can always ask your loved ones for assistance, or visit a professional who will guide you through the process.