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Anger—an unpleasant emotion that has to be the most misunderstood and mismanaged one. People I meet often tell me, “Everything else is okay with me, but I can’t seem to manage my emotions.” “If only I could manage my anger, most of my life problems would disappear.” “I can work on my anger at the workplace, but my family members often bear the brunt of my unpleasantness at home.” While many strategies can help manage anger, they tend not to work or don’t have a lasting impact. The primary reason for this plight is that we don’t understand anger in the first place. There are many misconceptions and taboos associated with this emotion. The first misconception about anger is that we see it as a gendered emotion—associated mostly with males. Titles like ‘angry young man’ try to validate such false myths. The other misconception often associated with anger is that it’s a ‘bad’ emotion. Another school of thought when we speak of anger is that people around us or situations are the causes of it. The truth is that anger is an emotion that anyone and everyone can experience. It can never be a gendered emotion because, like any other unpleasant emotion, it indicates that the person (who is angry) is experiencing one or more unmet needs. In this sense, anger is a universal emotion since needs are universal and not just associated with one gender. But, if we go back to the premise that feelings emerge from our needs, we will understand that anger is not a ‘bad’ emotion either. Yes, perhaps we might react in healthy or unhealthy ways, but it doesn’t make anger the villain necessarily. For example, if I feel angry about someone not following up on a promise they made to me, perhaps my need for accountability or trust is unfulfilled. Hence, my anger, like any other unpleasant emotion I might experience, doesn’t emerge from other people’s actions or words. Yes, people’s actions or words might affect me to some degree, but what causes me to be angry are one or more of my underlying needs. We lack such insights about anger because when we experience that emotion, we tend to become overpowered by it and react. It becomes difficult to pause or process anger as we tend to get more cynical during such times. We tend to see other people’s actions as selfish or self-indulgent and start thinking of all possible reasons to condemn them. We become very rigid and vigilant about our beliefs at all costs. It becomes almost impossible for anyone to convince us of possibilities other than what we see or want to see. Understanding this is important so that when we’re angry, we can pause and differentiate between reality and what we interpret as truth. While anger indicates one or more unpleasant needs when we experience that emotion, it also serves a fundamental function. The function of anger is to help us fight against a problem. It is why when we’re angry, we start functioning from a fight mode (instead of the flight or freeze modes of nervous system activation). Feeling anger is a sign that we see something problematic in a situation and therefore want to find solutions to that problem. If we don’t understand this function of anger, we might misdirect our actions to cause more problems for ourselves. Let’s suppose I feel angry at my friend for showing up late to the decided personal meetings. For me, my needs for punctuality, respect, or order aren’t getting fulfilled. I find it problematic that my friend doesn’t honor the agreed-upon time. If I don’t understand the problem (for me) in my friend showing up late, I might blame, complain to, or judge my friend for making things difficult for me. I might either come across as very strong or ignore my friend. If I, on the other hand, understand that a lack of respect for mutually agreed upon timings or punctuality bothers me, then I will make it a point to communicate this to my friend. If my friend doesn’t understand this in one go, I might even share my concerns assertively. Such solutions will perhaps be more effective because instead of blindly reacting, blaming, complaining, and judging, I would act after understanding what the problem is for me, which is what anger helps us shed light on. Most of the time, because we feel uncomfortable or in pain when dealing with anger, we view anger as a ‘bad’ emotion, for which we desperately try to find ways to manage or control our behavior or actions. Anger is a rather valuable emotion if we care to dig deeper. The next time you feel angry, instead of suppressing it (numbing it out) or acting it out, pause and ask yourself, “What am I finding problematic here?” You might not arrive at the best solutions right away, but once you have better clarity about the problem, you’ll have better clarity about ways to help you deal with it. The author is the linchpin at My Emotions Matter, an education initiative that helps individuals and teams learn the mindset and skills of Emotional Intelligence. You can learn more at myemotionsmatter.com

A beam of red light falling on one of the walls where a 12 horned deer’s head is stuck on makes the audience feel that the house belongs to a rich person. The audience is not wrong. This is an apartment where a colonel’s wife Muma Hajur (Saguna Shah) lives. Red light has been purposefully used in the play. Explanation later. Muma Hajur is in bed, a patient of asthma and lives in support of oxygen but likes smoking.   The play begins with Deep (Ghimire Yubaraj) and Muma Hajur’s meeting after 25 years. They have an  age old relationship. Muma Hajur, then Rashmidevi was 45 and Deep a 19 year old teenager. He was not Deep but was Kamal Ghimire. Deep is a ‘Dalit’ but has concealed his original caste and lives as Kamal Ghimire to avoid caste based discrimination. He has rented one of the rooms in Rashmidevi’s house. The layers of the past start unfolding as the two characters start talking. Muma Hajur wants to recall all the sweet memories she had with Deep but Deep wants to forget. Rashmidevi, married to Colonel Shyam Kumar Basnet recalls how she was trapped inside the four walls of her house. She expresses her suffocation living in the house. Later her husband is abducted and killed during war. She is later informed that her husband has married another woman and has a child with her. After her husband’s death she feels that she has now become free. It reminds the audience of the story by Kate Chopin “The Story of an Hour.” Though Mrs Mallard in the story feels free after hearing her husband’s death for a short time Rashmidevi’s happiness and experience of freedom lasts lifelong. She becomes closer to Kamal both physically and spiritually. Has Deep regarded Rashmidevi’s love the same way? One needs to watch the play till the end. The play tries to show the love relationship between the two characters who have differences in their class and caste. With the relationship between the two characters the playwright tries to show the deeply rooted caste based discrimination across the country. “Had Deep not concealed his surname, would he ever have been able to get the room in Rashmidevi’s house, in her heart?” The question raised by Deep makes the audience think deep on caste based discrimination. His question “You purify your home worshiping deities but how can you purify your body?” is thought provoking. The young Deep’s role is played by Sagar Khati Kami while Pabitra Khadka has fit in the role of Rashmidevi. Khadka is bold in her role. The sensual roles she has played is a brilliant watch on stage. The chemistry between Kami and Khadka goes well in the play till the end.   The play is more dialogue centric. Shah’s powerful dialogues satire on gender based violence. Long form of dialogues, punches, both comic and satire makes the audience serious and laugh out loud. The design of the stage is captivating. Two storeyed design of the stage where the past events are shown on the top and the present are shown on the ground floor is apt to show how we are triggered by our memories. The characters in the upper storey and lower storey communicating in the last scenes makes one feel the character analyzing and thinking to give an exit to the past incidents. The use of music and poem add colors in the play. Nepali Translation of the poem “Traveling through the Dark” by William E. Stafford is symbolic as it reflects the speaker’s inability to make a critical decision. As the speaker in the poem undergoes a dilemma to take the decision the character Deep too is in dilemma to conclude whether his relation with Rashmidevi was an erotic or pragmatic. Directed by Prabin Khatiwada and written by Ghimire Yubaraj the play Bimoksha: The salvation is the perfect title given to question on being free from the past events. One of the interesting things to watch on Shilpee Theatre’s production is stage design and use of props. The stage is designed in the shape of vagina giving a symbolic impression of female sexuality. A portrait of Colonel Shyam Kumar Basnet. A cosy sofa, medals won by the colonel, book racks and a double sized bed gives the homely impression. Shah has judged the role of an elderly woman with her role and dialogues. There is a use of bright colors on the second storey while showing the romances between Deep and Rashmidevi. Light colors are used in the conversations between Deep and Muma Hajur The play of the red colors has been more symbolic in the play. A color of protest and a color to show one’s love both have been well depicted with the play of the light in the set. A must watch play. The play Bimoksha is staged every day at 5:30 pm except Tuesdays but with additional shows on Saturdays at 1:00 pm at Shilpee Theatre, Battisputali. It's on stage till April 1. 

I’m a 25-year-old guy and the one thing I like about myself is how independent I am. I prefer not to ask for help and like solving things independently. Recently, I have realized that sometimes asking for help is necessary, especially when I’m struggling with my mental health. But I can’t bring myself to do that. I’m worried about being judged and that people might think less of me. It’s hard to rely on someone else when I have relied only on myself for so long. What do I do?–AD Answered by Aditya Dangol, psychosocial counselor, Happy Minds Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness. Rather, it’s a sign of strength and courage. It means that you have come to terms with your mental health issues and are now looking for a solution. I wouldn’t blame you for feeling this way though. Our society has always taught men to be self-reliant and to not show vulnerability, despite going through tough situations. No matter how hard we try, sometimes it’s difficult to let go of that stereotype. But we are here to help. One way to break down the barriers around mental health is to normalize therapy. It’s a safe space for people to discuss their struggles and emotions with a trained professional. Realize that therapy is not only for those with severe mental health issues. It can also be beneficial for anyone who wants to improve psychologically and develop new coping strategies. It can help you gain a deeper understanding of yourself, your relationships, and your experiences.  As far as asking for help goes, take baby steps. Start by opening up to a friend or family member you trust. And yes, sometimes you might not like the way they respond. But that doesn’t mean you should stop. If one person doesn’t work out for you, find someone else. You must understand that there’s nothing wrong in sharing your feelings, and that you deserve to have someone in your life to rely on when things go bad.  Once you are comfortable with that, you can then think of going for therapy, that is, in case you still feel like you need some professional help. Sometimes, finding someone to rely on can do the trick, but if not, I strongly suggest you visit a professional. That can be a great way to start improving your mental health and well-being. Asking for help is a brave and necessary step for healing and growth. It can provide us with the support, validation, and guidance we need to navigate our mental health challenges. By challenging harmful beliefs about masculinity and mental health, you can break the barriers that prevent men from asking for the support they need. Ultimately, seeking help is an act of self-care and self-love, and it’s important to prioritize your own well-being above societal expectations or fear of judgment.

Simrik Air Pvt Ltd has procured a Bell 505 Jet Ranger X (JRX) helicopter, further expanding its fleet to perform life-saving search and rescue operations in trying terrains of Nepal more efficiently. On March 20, a Simrik Air team in Singapore signed an agreement to bring the chopper (serial number 65430) for the first time ever to Nepal as its new aircraft. Bell 505 is one of the latest helicopters and successful models of Bell Textron Pte Ltd. Simrik Air agreed to acquire this aircraft after testing its capabilities in Nepal in 2019. With its outstanding performance and safety assurance during demonstration flights, the company had decided to procure the helicopter back then, but the procurement was delayed due to the Covid-19 pandemic. With the addition of this 4-seater aircraft to its fleet, Simrik will be able to provide more efficient service in terms of medical evacuation, search and rescue, survey, adventure, training, public safety, corporate and chartered operations.  Simrik Air, a pioneer in the Nepali aviation industry, has been adding the finest and brand-new machines in its fleet to meet its safety commitments.