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We went around Basantapur in the heart of Kathmandu asking middle-aged men what they think about paternity leave. Most of them didn’t know what it is. One man in his early 30s asked, “Is it today?” After we told them what it meant, some said it is useless to give such holidays, while some others were of the view that the number of paid paternal leave days should be increased. A few were just happy to hear that paid paternity leave is given in Nepal. Paternity leave is a type of parental leave granted to a father that allows him to be away from his job after or shortly before the birth of his child. The newly intro­duced Labor Act requires employers to provide 15 days of paid paternity leave and 98 days of paid maternity leave. The ear­lier Labor Act of 1991 had a provision of 52 days of paid maternity leave. Paternity leave had not been intro­duced then.

Globally, paternity leave is a hot topic of debate. About 90 coun­tries now offer statutory paid pater­nity leave, usually for a few days or weeks. According to a recent study by Promundo, a US-based organization, fewer than half the men took paternity leave that was offered to them. The research was carried out between 2017 and 2019 in seven countries and involved nearly 12,000 respondents. It shows that more than 80 percent men in India and Pakistan viewed chang­ing nappies, bathing and feeding children as a woman’s job. Fathers in Bangladesh even reported being ridiculed or taunted by other men or community members for doing these kinds of tasks.

There is no provision of pater­nity leave in India for private sec­tor workers, where companies like Zomato have gained publicity for offering such leave. This year, the federal government of Pakistan approved 10 days of paternity leave. Paternity leave in China can vary from anywhere between zero to 30 days. While South Asian coun­tries do not have long paternity leave, it can be as long as 16 months, with up to 80 percent of the salary, in Sweden.

Farendra Ratna Manandhar, a Nepali working in Australia, had a baby in November last year. He got two weeks of paternity leave while his wife received maternity leave of 18 weeks. “Two weeks is just not enough. Thankfully, I could get two additional weeks of unpaid leave,” he says. As it has been difficult for his wife to take care of the baby alone, they have even invited her mother to Australia.

Loaded debate

In Nepal, women activists, Nation­al Women Commission and Ministry of Women, Children and Social Wel­fare took the initiative to press the government to introduce paternity leave. Laxmi Pandey, the spokes­person and deputy secretary at the National Women Commission, says the introduction of paternity leave in Nepal is a good step. She says the law was passed to enable men to take better care of their wife and child.

“Women need rest for at least three months after delivering a baby, so maternity leave has been extended by the government. But if paternity leave were to be extended beyond 15 days, it could affect the functioning of offices,” she says. “Personally though, I wish paternity leave was given for 35 days, as there are many nuclear families in Nepal now,” Pandey adds.

Dr Ram Hari Chapagain, a pedia­trician at Kanti Children’s Hospital, disagrees. He says giving men longer paternity leave would adversely affect the functioning of offices. But he thinks 98 days of maternity leave is justifiable. “Paternity leave is given to men so that they can care for their wife and child. In my experience, it’s usually the mothers who come to the hospital for postna­tal check-ups and immunizations,” he says. Dr Chapagain adds that 15 days of paternity leave is reasonable because as soon as a baby is born, there could be more health compli­cations for the mother and the baby, whereas after a couple of weeks, there are fewer complications.

Some Nepali companies provide longer than 15 days of paternity leave. One of them is HLE Nepal, a business process outsourcing com­pany, which gives one month of paid paternity and 112 days of paid mater­nity leave. It also has a provision whereby unpaid maternity leave can be extended by up to four months and unpaid paternity leave by up to a month. The company has found that the policy has helped enhance a father’s experience. Nirayu Shakya, a mortgage broker with HLE Nepal, says that the leave helped him devel­op a wonderful bond with his baby and to give extra care to his wife. “It also sent a posi­tive message about the company to my amazed friends,” he adds.

Dispelling the blues

Pashupati Mahat, a senior clinical psychologist, thinks mothers and fathers are equally responsible for the development of the baby. He says our society views fathers as “the symbol of security” and moth­ers as “the symbol of love and care”. Mahat adds, “If a father is largely absent after childbirth, the moth­er and child can become anxious. Especially right after a woman gives birth, her estrogen level decreases dramatically and she experiences post-partum blues that can degen­erate into post-partum depression”. As such, it is important that her partner be there to provide her with a sense of security and support. Research also shows that children with absent fathers have a higher chance of going into depression.

Mahat thinks it would be a good idea to extend paternity leave, pro­vided men made good use of it. In his opinion, fathers should get at least six weeks paternity leave so that they can spend quality time with their wife and child. “However, some men might abuse the leave. It’s up to the family and society at large to ensure that paternity leave is not misused,” argues Mahat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPXVYnkil24

 Krystel Hountchegnon from Paris loves Kathmandu’s rickshaws. It has been only 15 days in Nepal and rickshaw is already her favorite means of transport. I catch up with her at Basantapur, after she has just disembarked from a rickshaw. After she pays for the ride from Thamel (all of Rs 150), I ask her why she chose the rickshaw over other means of transport. “They are convenient, envi­ronment-friendly and affordable,” pat comes the reply. Did she say cheap? “Don’t you think Rs 150 from Thamel to Basantapur is reasonable? “After all, it’s tough work.” But for many this price is still too high. (The rickshaws charge as much as Rs 300 for the same route.)

These colorful rickshaws are to be found in Kathmandu’s narrow alleys—the ‘slow’ vehicles are banned from the main roads—and are mostly used by foreign tourists. Tourists opt for them as they get to see Kathmandu up close and beat the traffic jam on these three-wheelers.

The president of ‘Akhil Nepal Rickshaw Sangathan’ Damber Rana, who himself pulled a rickshaw from 2000 to 2006, speaks of a dwindling business. “Most local people now have their own scooters and bikes. Those who don’t take taxis or buses,” he says. Moreover, when they hear the cost of traveling in a rickshaw, most say they would rather walk. “Inflation! What can we do?” asks Rana. Even though they supposedly charge high fares, most rickshaw-pull-ers earn just around Rs 1,000 a day.

Rana recalls the time he worked as a rickshaw-puller when he used to earn about Rs 600 a day, “which was enough. Back then a kilo of rice cost Rs 12. Now the same rice is priced Rs 80.” With their meagre earnings, many rickshaw-pullers opt to go abroad, adds Rana.

Prem Tamang did the opposite. He has been operating a rickshaw after coming back from Malaysia two years ago. “I went to Malaysia hoping for a better future but it was a hard life there,” says Tamang. As he was work-ing as a rickshaw-puller before going abroad he found it easy to take up the job again. Back in Nepal, after paying Rs 150 to the rickshaw owner, he is left with around Rs 600 a day.

The inner alleys of Kathmandu are bumpy, adding to the woes of the rick-shawpullers. “I am just 44 but I know I look older. Many rickshaw-pullers start having back aches earlier than usual and these bumpy alleys are damaging on the rickshaws as well,” Rana says.

In Kathmandu, there are around 150 rickshaws which carry passengers. Another 1,130 are used for carrying luggage. Apart from that, there are 16 electronic rickshaws. Rana says that in Nepal, which imports billions of rupees of polluting petrol and diesel every year, investing in the clean rickshaws make sense.

Hountchegnon from France likes rickshaws also because she finds the rickshaw-pullers nice and knowledgable. They also know enough English to suggest where to go and what to buy. Back home in Paris there are also rickshaw-like vehicles, but seldom does Hountchegnon take them. Why? “Because in Paris I know my way around.”

For Parisa Raut, a resident of Kathmandu in her mid-20s, 22 May 2018 was just a normal day. She was using her Facebook messenger and opened her “Other” inbox that contains filtered messages. To her dismay, she found that it was filled with sexually explicit content from one sender who was also calling her names.

Eight months prior to that, she had gotten a message from someone named Sagar, who reportedly worked in a reputed media house. They had been Facebook friends for two years but this was the first time she had heard from him. She had also never met him before. As time passed, he gained her trust. Seven months after they started talking, he proposed her to be his girlfriend. Raut turned down his proposal, and he said it was okay.

When she saw those insulting messages in her inbox, she immediately thought of Sagar but had no proof it was definitely him. Helpless, she filed a complaint with the Metropolitan Crime Division Teku. The Facebook account through which those messages had been sent was deactivated, and even the police could not find out who it belonged to. Raut then messaged Sagar, asking him to meet her at the World Trade Center in Tripureswor. She asked him to bring his laptop along as she wanted to search it for some tell-tale signs. He agreed. But when Sagar arrived he had not brought his laptop. Furious, she started shouting at him and the police officers who were with her in civilian clothes came forward to intervene. At that point, to her surprise, he confessed to his crime.

According to the Electronic Transactions Act, harassing or degrading a woman in any way can result in up to Rs 100,000 in fines and/or jail-time of up to five years. In this case, too, the offender could have landed in jail for 3-5 years and it would have gone into his police record. This would make it hard for him to go abroad. So he begged Raut for her forgiveness and she did not file a cyber-harassment case. The police urged her to be lenient too as pressing the charge could have potentially ruined his whole life. Instead, he was jailed just for 24 days. “If I had not shown the courage at that time, I would have been unable to prove him guilty or might have been continued to be harassed today,” she says.

Teenagers the target
Cases like Raut’s have been on the rise in Nepal, as per the Metropolitan Crime Division Teku. In the fiscal 2015-2016, 830 people visited the division seeking help on various cybercrimes. In 2016-2017, the number rose to 1,197. By 2018-2019, the number had increased to 1,938. The crime division has not categorized the data to clearly indicate how many of these are related to sexual harassment. But says Senior Superintendent of the division Shahakul Bahadur Thapa, over 70 percent of reported cases are related to online sexual harassment.

Thapa says teenagers are the usual targets of sexual harassers on social media. Another common occurrence is of married people whose spouses are abroad. Those of them in extra-marital relations exchange sexually explicit contents. When there is a misunderstanding, the person who they sent their nude photos or videos to starts blackmailing them. There are usually financial interests involved, says Thapa. “Some sexual harassment cases have ended in suicides,” he adds.

Due to the steadily increasing number of cybercrimes, Nepal Police now has a separate Central Cyber Bureau in Bhotahiti. Bikash Shrestha, its director, says that currently 63 percent of Nepalis access the internet, with the goal of reaching 90 percent soon. “As the number of internet users increases, so will cyber-crimes,” he says. The bureau has thus been established to make the handling of cybercrimes more systematic. Just in the past one month, the bureau has handled 166 cases of cybercrimes, most of them related to online sexual harassment reported by women.

Shrestha attributes the increase in online sexual harassment cases to lack of awareness on social media use and potential consequences of sharing their sexually explicit photos and videos. “People download various apps without knowing how to use them properly, share personal information without being aware of its possible misuse, and click on links sent by people they do not know,” he says.

Forgotten identity
One such case is of Sony Chongebang, a Montessori teacher in Kathmandu. She recently posted her phone number for a job offer on merorojgari.com. After two days, she got a call from an unknown number. The man who called her said that the job posting was in Biratnagar and she would have to travel there with documents for the job, to which she agreed. On August 16, she left for Kanchanbari in Biratnagar.

There, she met the person who was purportedly offering her the job. He said they would have to immediately leave for Rajbiraj for some processing. They took a bus but mid-way in Itahari he stopped the bus and asked her to get down. It was around 10 pm at night and they were all alone. Suddenly, he snatched her mobile and her purse that had Rs 27,500. She was shocked. He physically assaulted her, even trying to choke her at one point. She resisted. After that, he asked her the password of her mobile phone. Helpless, she gave it to him. 

Next day, she was able to reach Kathmandu with the help of a kind truck driver. Upon her arrival she saw that sexually explicit content was being posed via her Facebook account. She does not remember her Facebook password nor does she have any idea how to reclaim her Facebook account. She is scared that her family and friends might think she is the one sharing those content. “I feel so embarrassed,” says a tearful Chongebang.

Uninvestigated, unsolved
Shrestha of the Central Cyber Bureau says that even though they get many online sexual harassment complaints, only a handful of perpetrators are ever nabbed. Of 1,938 cyber-crime cases reported in 2018-2019 with the Metropolitan Crime Division Teku, only 67 were investigated. This is not always the police’s fault. Shrestha says many cases get solved without the police having to do anything when the victims find out that someone they know had been harassing them through a fake social media account and resist from pressing a charge.

That is not the only reason many cases go unsolved. “Usually the harassers create fake social media accounts. To trace who is behind it is difficult as those running Facebook and other social media sites are out of Nepal. They are not liable to give us information about this person. This is also the reason many cases cannot be solved,” says Shrestha. Some victims thus seek police help just to close down their Facebook accounts, others to retrieve some important files.

As the number of social media users grows, Thapa of crime division Teku wishes people were more aware of proper use of social media, online sexual harassment and how to tackle harassers.

How to protect yourself from online sexual harassment

• Don’t click on links sent by strangers
• Be careful while sharing your personal contacts
• Don’t blindly rely on the things you see on the internet
• Don’t share compromising material on messaging apps
• Don’t respond to messages from people you do not personally know on social media
• Be aware of the privacy settings of the social media you use

What to do when you are being sexually harassed online
• Tell someone you trust about what is happening
• Report the offensive content. Most social media sites have this option
• Keep all information as evidence of harassment: take screenshots before the harasser deletes the evidence or before the service provider removes flagged content
• Do not respond to the harasser
• Contact the authorities. Consider visiting the Central Cyber Bureau of Nepal Police in Bhotahiti

Self-defense is an important skill, more so for people with disabilities. Various studies have shown that people with disabilities are more likely to experience violence and abuse than those without any physical limitations. Enter ‘Fightback’, a sexual violence risk-reduction education program that aims to build safety skills.

Since 2013, Fightback has been providing physical, psychological and oral trainings to people with disabilities. The sessions are conducted at educational institutions, NGOs, INGOs and corporate offices, and anyone between the ages of 12 to 60 can participate.

Bhawana Shrestha, marketing manager at Fightback, says the goal is to empower people and enable them to protect themselves from danger. Right now, those who want to get the training have to arrange the training location themselves.

Uddab Thapa Magar, chief self-defense instructor and second director at Fightback, has a team of martial arts student and national level Taekwondo players to help him with the training sessions. He says that among those with disabilities, it’s most difficult to teach self-defense to the visually impaired.

“In that case, you have to mostly rely on verbal instructions. You can tell them what needs to be done, but it’s not 100 percent effective,” says Magar. Nonetheless, the trainers at Fightback develop programs such that participants are able to by and large remember what they are taught.

Magar adds that people with different disabilities are trained separately to avoid confusions. This, he explains, is because what is a challenging task for one isn’t so for another. So, deaf people are given an interpreter, those with paralysis are taught how to use their immobile limbs as weapons when
in danger, etc.

The trainings are usually three to five days long and conducted for eight hours a day, starting with an ice-breaking session. In the ice-breaking session, the participants sing, tell stories and act in order to create a causal vibe.

“We want them to be comfortable with us. They shouldn’t hesitate to ask questions and share their problems during the trainings,” she says, adding that this ensures they are better able to grasp the teaching. These ice-breaking activities, Shrestha says, are customized according to group needs.

At the beginning, those with disabilities are also taught ways to recognize an attacker and to retaliate. Even blind people realize when someone is following them when they are alone, says Magar. “We teach them that if they are in such a situation, they should shout “ko ho?” (Who is there?). If someone holds their hands and tries to pull them, they should shout “chod” (Leave) while also doing some physical moves,” he explains. Likewise, those who can see but have other disabilities should shout “stop” loudly, and mul-tiple times. He says it’s important to appear confident and powerful before an attacker.

Before the training, the team meets and discusses the best ways to teach self-defense to that particular group. Though the aim is to teach partici-pants how to avoid being physically abused, retaliate and fight the abuser, Shrestha says the participants are also mentally prepared to know and avoid situations where they can be sexually abused, and to stay alert.

“The problem is that most peo-ple don’t even know when they are being sexually harassed or abused. We teach them to see the signs,” says Shrestha.Additionally, the trainings include talks about intuition skills, critical thinking, communication skills, fear and stress management, and online harassment.

Shrestha mentions that since 2013 the center’s curriculum has changed quite a bit with constant feedback from the participants. And they are expanding. Last year, they conducted training sessions in 12 districts of Nepal.

Asbin Adhikari, 25, and Abhisek Shakya, 24, had been playing with the idea from the time they were doing their Bachelor’s in Engineer­ing two years ago. They later asked Abinash Shrestha, 23, with his wealth of knowledge on informa­tion technology, to join the team. Together, they formally launched the website on May 7, the auspicious day of Akshaya Tritiya.

There are currently 80 items on the site, divided into six catego­ries: ‘Food’, ‘Apparel’, ‘Home and décor’, ‘Craft, supplies and tools’, ‘Art and collectible’ and ‘Jewelry and accessories’. Since the launch, they have already sold 100 items online. They also plan to launch a mobile app by this August, informs Shres­tha. Currently, the lowest priced item on the website (a pack of four home-made laundry soaps) costs Rs 80 while the highest priced prod­uct (100 percent silk scarf ) sells for Rs 2,700.

As its fee, Gharelu Utpadan charges 25 percent of the price per item set by the vendors them­selves, which is the standard rate, according to the founders. This is the operation and pick-and-drop cost, informs Adhikari. “But we can adjust rates according to the ven­dors and price of the products.” The interesting thing is that they pick up an ordered item from the vendor and drop it at a location the cus­tomer requests within Kathmandu valley free of cost. “Even if you order an item worth Rs 80, it is delivered free of cost. Right now the goal is to build trust in online shopping,” says Shakya.

If a customer does not like what is delivered, the company takes it back without any fees. “But no one has returned any of our products so far,” says Adhikari. He adds that the company wants its customers to get quality products at retail price—and to have them home-delivered.

Currently they have 15 vendors on Gharelu Utpadan, 12 of whom are women, informs Shakya. The company is also looking to tie up with organizations working with vulnerable groups. Burn Violence Survivors-Nepal, for instance, have put up some candles they make for sale on the website. The products of 11 more potential vendors will soon be up on the website as well, says Adhikari.

Besides the problem in developing the website, the other big prob­lem has been that most Gharelu Utpadan vendors have no knowl­edge of branding, labeling or even naming their products, according to Shrestha. “We insist on our vendors getting a Permanent Account Num­ber and registering their company but most do not know how to,” says Shakya. Vendors are individually advised on such issues at Gharelu Utpadan.

But where does the company meet these vendors? “Mostly at pop-up markets,” replies Shakya.

Many e-commerce websites are sprouting up in Kathmandu. So what sets them apart? Adhikari says while there are sites like Daraz and sasto­deal.com that sell just about every­thing, Gharelu Utpadan focuses on local Nepali entrepreneurs and homemade Nepali products.

Gharelu Utpadan also reaches out to vendors personally to help them grow their business and to market their products. “The ultimate goal is to create an ecosystem of local entrepreneurs and give them a big market to grow,” says Adhikari O

I got to taste many luscious Japanese delicacies during my two visits to the country, in 2015 and 2016. After coming back to Nepal I wanted to taste authentic Japanese, especially the freshly-made sushi, sashimi, the rich and perfectly cooked grilled fish, and refreshing sake—my favorites. At that time I was clueless. But thankfully, I have over the years found a few places in Kathmandu to satisfy my craving for Japanese food. Here are five of them. 

DanRan Restaurant

This homely restaurant in Jhamsikhel run by a Japanese family is quite famous in Lalitpur area. It opened its doors in 2003 and has since been serving authentic Japanese food. With an outdoor garden as well as private rooms, this restaurant can accommodate up to 50 people. DanRan is known for its clam ambience, excellent service, and fresh and delicious Japanese cuisines. Sashimi, Tenpura and udon here are mouth-watering. Check out their Facebook page as they also organize parties with Japanese food. If you are out for a cozy family Japanese dinner, we suggest you to visit this restaurant. The average price of food here is Rs 1,000. Call 015521027 for details.

Sapporo Japanese Restaurant Kathmandu 

Situated in a quiet neighborhood in Baluwatar, this restaurant serves typical Japanese food and drinks. Known for its homemade soba, udon, ramen, goma-ae and teriyaki, this is a food haven for the lovers of Japanese cuisine. Located right opposite Russian Embassy, this restaurant, opened in 2017, also has a seasonal menu you can choose from. Relax in the peaceful and shady garden during warm summer days and evenings. You can also choose traditional Japanese seating as well as standard tables and chairs. Private rooms are available too. Visit for a true taste of Japan. The average price of food here is Rs 900. Call 9803445405 for details.

Kotetsu Restaurant

At Hotel Ambassador in Lazimpat is hidden a gem of a Japanese restaurant, Kotetsu, serving authentic Japanese cuisine. They have a sushi bar, Teppan counter and private rooms as well where you can enjoy the yummy food. Many reviewers have gone on to say that it is the best Japanese restaurant in town. The grilled fish that is quite hard to cook right is a must-try, but the sushi is the restaurant’s specialty. And there is an elaborate menu you can order from. If you drink, then don’t forget Kotetsu sake. The average price of food here is Rs 1,000. Call 016218513 for details.

Urutora Japanese Restaurant

Urutora (“Strong tiger” in Japanese) in Baluwatar has an upbeat ambience and serves great Japanese cuisine that will lift your spirits. There are separate rooms for groups and couples, if you want privacy. They have live music, beer offers and cocktail parties. You enjoy your food listening to soothing Japanese music. The specialty of this lavish restaurant is sushi, Japanese rice sets, pork cutlet rice ball and ramen. The lunch here will keep you energized for a full day. The average price of a dish here is around Rs 700. Contact 014419057 for details.

Tokyo Izakaya food and bar

Izakaya is what I miss the most about Japan. It is an informal Japanese pub that people go to for drinks after work. Drinking is a common way of socializing in Japan and Izakaya is built just for that. And there is one right in the heart of Kathmandu, Thamel. Known for its finest Japanese and continental cuisines, Tokyo Izakaya food and bar was established in 2017. Its mission is to serve the very best food in a relaxed environment. The menu here is exactly like the ones you see in Japan and also gives you a lot to choose from. There are five types of ramen—so you can imagine. Of course, while at it, try some sake too. The price of food here is Rs 500. Contact 014413548 for details.

A broken street light on the road you regularly walk on can be a great nuisance. It also encourages criminals. In their paper “The influence of street lighting on crime and fear of crime,” Stephen Atkins, Sohail Husain and Angele Storey argue that good street lights increase opportunities for surveillance and encourage people to notice suspicious activity, thereby acting as a deterrent for criminals.

Though there are street lights right around Kathmandu valley, many of them don’t work. Instead of blaming the government for not fixing them, Youth Innovation Lab (YI-Lab), a non-profit civic tech company have, in coordination with NAXA, a Kathmandu-based geo-IT company, launched the ‘LightsON’ campaign to map street lights of Kathmandu valley. The mission is to put pressure on the Kathmandu Metropolitan City to come up with the right policy to ensure periodic maintenance of street lights in Kathmandu. Anyone in Kathmandu valley can contribute!

The campaign was launched on the International Open Data Day on March 2, with an ambitious goal of collecting data on 10,000 street lights of Kathmandu valley by engaging digital volunteers. YI-Lab sees open data as a tool to ensure bureaucratic accountability. For those who do not understand open data, you can think of Wikipedia. Users do not need to sign-up or login to view its contents and they can also edit the information with references so that others can benefit from the available content. There is no fee to use, or contribute on, such platforms.

YI-Lab came up with the idea of mapping street lights and help-ing local governments use data to solve this urban challenge. NAXA then developed a mobile app and an interactive web interface to support this campaign technically. Pradip Khatiwada, the executive director of YI-Lab, reveals that they current-ly have data on 2,500 street lights collected through crowd sourcing. The campaign aims to collect infor-mation on 10,000 street lights by August. College students are being informed and trained to use the mobile app through which they can contribute.

Currently, “Lights On” application is only available on ‘Play Store’ and anyone with a smart phone and an email account can download it for free. The data the user has collected is recorded and verified via their email addresses. When a new mem-ber logs in, he or she can contribute by filling the ‘Street Lights Form’ in which they will be asked the details, such as the location of the street light, its functionality, and the status of the pole.

The user should take a photo of the street light for evidence and the precise location of the street light is established with the help of GPS. This can even be done offline. When the user has internet access, they can upload the data through the app. The data is made open and visualized through an interactive digital map at light.utilitymaps.org.

There were a few challenges in crowdsourcing for the project. The team behind this initiative informs that when the first batch of 30 col-lege students were oriented on the campaign, the students were momen-tarily excited. However, when they were asked if they would contrib-ute to the initiative, only four raised their hands. Their reluctance to con-tribute suggested an incentive was necessary. Now, those who contrib-ute data on 100 street lights get a campaign T-shirt and a certificate mentioning that they are ‘Digital Vol-unteers’. This has led to a dramat-ic rise in data collection, informs the team.

YI-Lab’s Khatiwada says that in developed countries broken street lights are fixed within 24 hours. But in Nepal there is seemingly no one to take care of the street lights after they are installed. Thus a related goal is to present the collected data to the mayor’s office for urgent action. Khatiwada claims this is not a compe-tition and they just want to help the government do its job better through evidence-based data.

After nearly three decades of reform efforts, the parliament passed a liberal abortion law in 2002. This granted all Nepali women the right to terminate their pregnancy without regard to their present or past marital status. Women were granted the right to terminate a pregnancy of up to 12 weeks without anybody’s consent. In 2005, this law was challenged by Achyut Kharel, a lawyer. He argued the law discriminated against men, as a woman could terminate a pregnancy without her husband’s consent. Nepal’s Supreme Court dismissed this case after the Kathmandu-based Forum for Women, Law and Development (FWLD) convinced the court that a woman’s human rights would be violated if spousal consent was required for abortion.

Nabin Kumar Shrestha, an advocate and program manager at FWLD, says it had to do with what women go through during a delivery. “From what I have heard, some women give birth relatively easily while others endure such pain that they faint a couple of times when they go into labor. Even if a tiny percentage of women die during delivery, lives are still lost,” he argues. He therefore thinks that it should be a woman’s choice whether to go ahead with the delivery or to abort.

Shrestha says when we talk about reproductive rights, a phrase we commonly hear is ‘My body, my rights’. “To drive home why this is important and make men see the pain that a woman goes through to bring a new life on Earth, they must attend deliveries,” says Shrestha. He thinks it is important for a husband to be present during a delivery.

“At least now, urban Nepalis have started having only one or two kids. But some communities are religiously bound to avoid contraceptives. So they produce many children, and men usually have the say in it. But if the men could appreciate the pain their partners endure, the scenario might be different,” he says
Nepali law is currently silent on whether men should be allowed into or barred from birthing centers. Each hospital or maternity center has its own guidelines. Shrestha recalls the time when his wife gave birth naturally 20 months ago, and he was not allowed to enter the birthing center. “In fact, no visitors were allowed,” he says.

However, some hospitals in Kathmandu such as Norvic and Prasuti Griha (Paropakar Maternity and Women’s Hospital or PMWH) allow men into the birthing rooms.

Encouraging men to see
Established in 1959, PMWH is a government-owned hospital that provides most of its services for free. It has seven beds in its birthing room. Curtains are used in the room to maintain a semblance of privacy. A sign on the door reads: “Only husbands and female visitors are allowed in”.

Asha Devi Prajapati, head nurse at PMWH, says that only after a birthing room was opened in 2007 were husbands allowed to enter it, but only in case of a low-risk normal delivery. (Earlier there was no separate birthing room, only a general labor room where
women delivered babies.)

As many as 60 deliveries take place every 24 hours at PMWH. Only 12-15 are low-risk normal deliveries.
Dr Jageshwor Gautam, Director of PMWH, says that in the labor room where women are kept right before they give birth, men are not allowed to stay for lack of space. (They can get in just to pass medicine and food.)

Parbati Shah, who gave birth to a baby on June 11 at Prasuti Griha, wishes her husband was there with her in the labor room. She felt she would pass out and her back hurt continuously. “I wanted someone to massage it. But visitors were not allowed in. The room had about 60 women, all of whom were in similar conditions,” says Shah.

A nurse beckoned Puleshwor Majhi into the birthing room when his wife Kalpana Majhi gave birth to a baby boy on 24 June at PMWH. It was the first time he saw a baby being delivered. “This is my second child. I held my child even before his mother did. She was writhing in agony. I was filled with empathy,” remembers Puleshwor.

When asked if he would be there again with her if they have another baby, he ruled out a third child. Kalpana said it was really hard giving birth, but Puleshwor’s presence made it easier.

Nurses at the same hospital estimate that only around 65 percent of the men agree to witness the birth of their baby. Even though they call the men into the birthing room, most try to get away saying they are scared. Others say they get dizzy when they see blood. The nurses say women generally feel positive and give birth faster when their partner is present. They have witnessed men fainting at the sight of a baby being born in the birthing room. “We get confused as to who we should attend to,” they joke.

When Apsara Tamang was about to deliver a baby on June 24 at PMWH, her husband Bijay Tamang was called into the birthing room, but he did not go in. “I thought someone experienced should be there during the delivery, so I asked her aunt to be there instead. I am a man. I wanted to be there, but then I was outside managing food, medicine and other essentials,” says Bijay. Apsara says she did not mind whether or not Bijay was present in the birthing room.

Understanding her pain
Norvic is one of the most expensive private hospitals in Kathmandu, where a normal delivery costs Rs 125,000 on average. Dr Achala Vaidya, head of the department of obstetrics and gynecology, says they ask a pregnant woman if she wants any visitor while giving birth. “The husband understands the wife’s pain and his respect for her increases when he sees her giving birth to their child,” says Vaidya. She adds that the presence of both the partners during delivery makes the moment truly amazing and unforgettable for them.

“A woman feels supported when her partner is there to pat her, wipe her sweat and bring her water. She feels mentally stronger and can go through the painful process more confidently,” says Dr Vaidya. She has been with Norvic for 14 years, and her experience tells her that a woman usually wants her husband to be present while she goes into labor, and that his presence gives her some comfort. And often husbands also demand that they be allowed to witness the birth of their child.

However, during her earlier stint at Prasuti Griha, she hardly saw any husband making such a demand. “I saw that men usually took it for granted that their wives will produce a baby. They had the perception that their wife has to give birth somehow,” she recalls. Dr Vaidya thinks it should be made compulsory for fathers to attend normal deliveries.