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Losing a loved one is traumatic enough. It’s something you will never forget. You don’t need reminders of it. But social media often drags you back to that one day you would wipe clean from your memory if you could. People take photos and videos of funerals—zooming in on the dead, the families’ tear-streaked faces, and the lighting of the pyre—and post them on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter among other online platforms. Given how we document every aspect of our lives on social media, from where we holiday to what we have for lunch, it’s no surprise that funerals are now finding their way into that mix. However, most people ApEx spoke to shuddered at the thought of funeral photographs. They said it was disrespectful and horrifying. Some questioned why anyone would want to remember such a sad moment. Madalasha Karki, granddaughter of Nepali songwriter and filmmaker Chetan Karki, says taking photos or videos of a private moment, without permission, should be a crime punishable by law. Besides being a blatant violation of human rights, it has far-reaching implications. Almost two years after her grandfather passed away due to Covid, Karki breaks down while talking about how a relative posted a live video of the funeral. Her grandfather, she says, was a proud man. He wouldn’t even tell his wife, Karki’s grandmother, if he was feeling unwell. He wouldn’t have wanted everybody to see him in the state he was in—wrapped up in plastic and looking so shrunken—when he was brought to the Pashupati Aryaghat. Madalasha says the man who took the video stripped her grandfather of the dignified farewell he deserved. She only came to know about the video on the eighth day of the 13-day ritual. When she confronted him and asked him to take it down, his wife started arguing, calling her ugly names. The couple wouldn’t accept their mistake. They didn’t think there was anything wrong with what they did. Worse, they didn’t delete the post, even when Madalasha’s grandmother requested them to. “This man only wanted to show off that he knew my grandfather and that he had gone to the funeral,” says Madalasha, adding the relative hadn’t posted anything on social media when his father had passed away. So, why then was her grandfather given the ‘special treatment’? she asks, her voice quivering. “If it happens to you, it’s a sensitive matter. But when it happens to someone else, it’s content,” she says. Sociologist Chaitanya Mishra says traditionally ours is a relatively open society where everybody knows everything about one another. People are curious about others. The line between the private and the public is blurred. The society is now in a transitional phase. It’s learning new ways of being (social media use is an example of this), while not forgoing outdated customs. Mishra says there is also zero literacy of the concept of privacy. “Earlier people used to talk or gossip among themselves. News traveled slowly and faded from people’s memories as time passed. Now they post things on social media. It travels fast and is there forever,” he says. People, he adds, also aren’t aware of social media etiquette. “Forget social media, many people don’t even know you should ask for permission before taking someone’s photo,” he says. Mishra believes it’s mostly unawareness that fuels insensitive behavior. People, as inherently flawed as they are, aren’t deliberately trying to be vicious. It’s just that they aren’t thinking about what they are doing, he says. Everyone has a smartphone, and they are clicking pictures without a second thought. The internet has indeed changed what mourning looks like. It’s common to pay condolences through Facebook or tweet about the death of your favorite celebrity. But when you take photos at a funeral (whether or not you post them online), you run the risk of ruining the occasion’s solemnity, especially for the family that’s grieving. Also, capturing people at their most vulnerable moments can cause long-term stress. Dristy Moktan, psychosocial counselor at Happy Minds, an online mental health and well-being platform, says posting funeral pictures on social media is an insensitive thing to do. It will only traumatize the grieving family and prolong their healing. Unless you want attention for yourself, it serves no purpose. “The problem is people don’t reflect on their actions. They do whatever they want without thinking about how it might affect someone else,” says Moktan. Unless the deceased’s family explicitly requests it, it’s best to avoid taking photos altogether, she adds. A software engineer who lost his mother when he was 13 says he never wants to recall her final moments at the cremation site. But an uncouth relative took pictures and videos and, over the years, kept asking him if he would like to look at them. He wonders why anyone would even want to look at something that is painful beyond words and how someone can be insensitive enough to suggest it. He agrees with Madalasha when she says those who love you would never do it to you. It’s the extras, the ones who never cared, though they pretended to, who act in such inappropriate ways. Madalasha adds that some people feel the need to post every little detail of their life on social media, from whom they met to what they saw. They simply don’t care if it hurts others or violates their privacy. Taking pictures is not wrong in itself. It’s the intent with which you do it that makes it disrespectful. Many just want to show they went to pay their respects or they think of the aryaghat as a place to catch up with friends and relatives. People also take group photos and post them on Facebook and other social media. When Mukunda K Khadka, Nepal’s first rock singer who went by the stage name Mike Khadka, passed away recently, his friends posed for photos at the funeral site and uploaded them on Facebook. The caption read they were all there that morning for Mike Khadka. Another tribute, with photos of Khadka singing, ends with a close-up shot of his body on the pyre. If the final photo hadn’t been there, it would have made for a beautiful homage. There’s a place for everything and the cremation ground is no place for photographs, says sociologist Mishra. One reason why every other person seems to be doing it is because no one speaks up or confronts them. They don’t want to ruin the sanctity of the event by doing something that will invariably lead to arguments. Consumed by grief, people don’t even notice their photographs being taken. When they come to know about it later, they are often shattered. It feels like a mockery of their sorrow. “Would you spit in the kitchen? Have food in the bathroom? The aryaghat isn’t a picnic spot or a place to pose for pictures,” says Madalasha.

Little girls in tutus—that’s the image that comes to mind when we think of ballet. Traditionally, a child starts ballet at the age of eight with pre-ballet classes before that. But various dance studios in Nepal offer adults a chance to learn this complex, theatrical dance form. “It’s better if you start early, but even if you have never had ballet lessons as a child, you can still learn it later in life,” says Arpana Lama, a dance instructor at Sushila Arts Academy in Kathmandu. Arpana mentions those in their 20s and 30s have taken up ballet in recent years for various reasons. Some want to correct their postures while others want to work on their flexibility. The fascination also stems from the fact that it’s a graceful dance form, one that’s visually appealing. Anweiti Upadhyay, the features editor at The Kathmandu Post, joined Lama’s weekend ballet classes because she wanted to work on her “awkward” body language. In a little over a year, her posture has become a lot better and her body movements aren’t as jerky as they used to be, she says, adding ballet has also made her more confident. But ballet is unlike other dance forms. It requires immense strength and flexibility. Anweiti confesses she thought she would be twirling like a pro in no time and was initially disappointed when that didn’t happen. “The classes mostly focused on stretching exercises,” she says. This, Arpana explains, is because you need to have a lot of core strength and control to perform the steps with the elegance they require. And that, she says, can only come when you are flexible. The muscles of your calves, hamstrings, and core need to be strong for you to execute and maintain difficult poses that have to merge seamlessly in order to create a brilliant dance sequence. Dance, in any form, requires discipline. It’s hard work. Ballet is often considered the foundation of a dancer’s career as a lot of basics is covered before you can get to the actual jumping and spinning. The focus on alignment, the dedication it requires, and the body movement fluidity it eventually gives you help you in other dance forms as well. Babita Lama, a 25-year-old hip-hop dancer, who started learning ballet five years ago says ballet is challenging but enjoyable. You learn to love your body, she says. She believes the reason it’s considered better to take up ballet as a child is because the body is flexible and thus training becomes easier. That doesn’t mean you can’t learn it as an adult. It just requires a bit more practice and focus, she says. People might draw similarities between ballet and yoga when they first take it up because of all the bending and postures they have to do and hold. Indeed, in ballet, the dance steps are basically modifications of the stretching exercises you are made to practice in class. Over time, as your body becomes flexible and strong you will be able to glide from one move to the next. “Only then will it feel like a dance form,” says Babita. Anweiti agrees with her and adds you might feel demotivated as she did after a few classes. But she swears by its effectiveness in making you feel better about yourself. You will feel agile and you will become fitter too, she says. Even better, if you suffer from unexplained muscle aches, ballet can help fix that as well. Arpana adds ballet is a great dance form to learn if you want to get a good workout—it engages the entire body from head to toe, with each exercise working on different muscle groups. For those who spend long hours in front of screens, ballet can also help correct bad postural habits. Additionally, the intense physical workout releases endorphins, giving you an instant mood lift. However, unlike children who learn ballet at a young age and level up gradually, adult ballet doesn’t follow a fixed course structure. This, Arpana explains, is because children who learn ballet are often training to become professional ballerinas. Whereas the goals vary in adult ballet programs. Adults might also have various responsibilities and constraints, limiting the time they can invest in ballet. “Ballet comes with its own vocabulary. There are names for all the steps and positions and they are in French. So, it takes time to learn that too if you aren’t already familiar with the language,” says Arpana. The best way to learn ballet as an adult is to take it slow and learn it in stages, without being in a rush to put on the special shoes or the pointe shoes, adds the instructor. “Sign up for a class and see how you feel about it,” says Babita. But you must be consistent with practice once you start. Even if you aren’t able to attend regular classes, you must do the stretches by yourself at home. “But don’t practice wearing ballet shoes if you are on your own. That must always be done under the guidance of an instructor. Else, you run the risk of serious injuries,” says Arpana.

Subin Bhattarai is the author of the bestselling Nepali romance novels ‘Summer Love’ and ‘Saaya’. Summer Love, published in 2012, was translated into English and later adapted into a movie as well. In 2014, Saaya, the sequel to Summer Love, was reprinted in the same month as it was published. In 2022, he published his sixth and latest book, ‘Ijoriya’, which is set in the Maithili-speaking region of southern Nepal. Cilla Khatry talked to Bhattarai to dig deeper into his reading and writing habits.  Do you have a reading or writing ritual?  I’m not a disciplined reader. I read whenever I feel like it. There’s no pattern. But I must finish every book I pick up. Sometimes it takes two to three days to finish a book, and other times, it takes weeks. I enjoy reading when I have a lot of free time. I usually read in the morning and afternoon. It’s the same with writing. As a full-time writer, I’m always reading or writing so I want to wrap things up by early evening. I want to relax in the evening and night time—I might watch a movie or a series.  Which books and authors have influenced you? I’m a huge fan of BP Koirala. I wouldn’t have been a writer had it not been for his books. Reading him sparked my creative side. All his books are phenomenal but if I had to pick, I’d say ‘Narendra Dai’, ‘Hitler ra Yahudi’, and ‘Sumnima’ are my favorites.  I have also been fascinated by the works of Dhurba Chandra Gautam and Dha. Cha. Gotame. Gautam’s short stories are marvelous and I love Gotame’s ‘Ghamka Pailaharu’. Other than these three writers, I enjoy reading writers who have a good grasp on language and wordplay.  What books are currently on your TBR (to-be-read) list?  I read a lot of contemporary Nepali fiction. I want to read all the books that come out. I might not always be able to do that so sometimes I make a list of all the books that have come out in the past six months or so that I haven’t read, buy them in one go, and read them back-to-back. I believe in recommendations. When someone recommends a book, I want to pick it up.  There are also many English novels that I want to read. I have a copy of ‘It Ends with Us’ by Colleen Hoover. I have been meaning to start reading it for a while now. I want to read all her books. She’s so popular. I want to know why. I also want to read more English classics. ‘The Adolescent’ by Russian writer Fyodor Dostoevsky is high on the list.  As a writer, how difficult is it to stay relevant?  Every writer must think about this because unless you grow, your audience will outgrow you. A writer must change with and adapt to the times. For that, it’s important to be updated and read a lot. You must read everything, from non-fiction to poetry, to be able to write well. A fiction writer shouldn’t only read fiction.  Time and experience are also excellent teachers. Life can teach you a lot if you let it as you will go through a rainbow of emotions—there will be joy, sorrow, anger, confusion, and so much more. Then, as a writer, you must never think you are a master of your craft. You have to take reviews and feedback seriously and hone your writing accordingly.  How do you feel about the current publishing scene in Nepal? I believe writers shouldn’t be in a hurry to publish their work. A book needs to go through multiple rewrites and rigorous editing. But there are many publishing houses and authors alike who are just in a rush to publish a book. This leads to many mistakes. It takes a lot of effort and investment to bring out a book, and I feel that’s largely missing these days. There’s a lack of preparation. Our publishing industry, writers included, I believe, lacks patience. That’s not a good thing because rewrites are important—it will give you a chance to make the language sharper and flesh out the characters.  Do you have any advice for aspiring writers?  To cut a tree in an hour, you have to sharpen the ax for six hours. What I mean by this is that it takes a lot of hard work and preparation before you can get a job done properly. Likewise, a story can’t be developed overnight. If you want to write well, you must do your research. You must read. You must have a lot of conversations, go through a lot of experiences, churn them in your head, and develop your narrative. Be prepared to put in the effort. 

Forty-one-year-old Rashmi Karki, who works for an NGO, lost her grandfather six months ago. He slipped and fell in the bathroom at their home in Kalanki, Kathmandu. He was 85. “My brother found him unconscious in the bathroom. We rushed him to hospital where the doctors declared him dead. They said he had suffered a head injury,” says Karki. Karki’s family had meant to ‘age-proof’ the bathroom. A relative had fractured her leg, after slipping in the shower, and Karki’s family was concerned about their safety as well. They were planning to install some handrails along the wall to hold on to, as well as buy some grip mats for the shower area. According to a report by the World Health Organization, fall is the leading cause of morbidity and the second biggest cause of unintentional injury-related mortality globally. Every year, 172 million people are injured, leading to short- and long-term disabilities, and 646,000 people die from fall-related injuries. Almost 80 percent of fall-related deaths and disabilities occur in low- and middle-income countries. A study by Nepal Surgeons Overseas Assessment of Surgical Need (SOSAS) has estimated that there are 16,600 deaths annually due to falls in Nepal. The study also found that fall injuries are the most common type of injury in Nepali people, accounting for 37.5 percent of all accidents. The risk of falling increases with age, says Dr Santosh Bhusal, medical officer at Civil Service Hospital in Minbhawan, Kathmandu. It could be because of poor eyesight, side effects of medicines that cause drowsiness, or the body becoming weak due to various underlying medical conditions. Bathroom falls are more common as tiles become slippery when wet. This past October, CPN-UML leader Balkrishna Dhungel died after falling in the bathroom of his residence in Gothatar, Kathmandu. Fatal injuries aside, falling in bathrooms often lead to hip joint dislocation and other compound fractures that take a long time to heal, especially in elderly people, says Dr Bhusal. Prakash Duggar, CEO, Kajaria Tiles Nepal, says safety should be the priority when designing bathrooms. Earlier, people opted for glossy tiles for their shiny and smooth finish. These days, matt tiles are preferred for their anti-skid properties. “Wholesalers and designers should also make their customers and clients aware about the kind of materials that should be used in bathrooms,” he says. He also suggests installing grab bars near commodes and in the bath. These are basically just steel rods, pretty much like a towel rack but stronger, that you can hold on to while getting up. Bars bolted to the walls are better than suction cup bars that can easily shift or get dislodged. They should also have a slip-resistant surface rather than a glossy finish. This, Duggar says, can significantly reduce the number of falls in elderly people as most bathroom accidents happen in the shower or while trying to get up from the commode. Most people ApEx spoke to said they were aware of the risks of bathroom accidents. They said they often told their grandparents, parents, or children to be careful. But accidents might happen despite being cautious. Duggar insists on matt tiles that aren’t slippery even when laced with soap or shampoo. You can apparently even install these in an old bathroom, on top of the flooring already there. At Kajaria, they have a tile option that can go on top of tiles, marble, or granite. “Your bathroom won’t have to be torn down and redesigned, if that’s what you fear,” says Duggar, adding most traders these days recommend matt tiles over glossy ones but there are plenty of sellers who don’t bother informing their customers. Kunal Thapa, director of Yarpa Traders, says a lot of focus goes on designing aesthetically pleasing bathrooms. But there are plenty of ways to make it safe without compromising on the looks. “I believe it’s the construction companies’ and material suppliers’ duty to make people aware about how their bathrooms should be designed to prevent accidents,” he says. Besides that, there are many simple ways to minimize the risk of slips and falls in bathrooms. One could be fixing a shower chair with non-slip rubber tips on the legs. Thapa suggests considering the lighting as well. Sometimes, accidents happen because of poor visibility. Karki, on the other hand, prefers a walk-in bath to a traditional tub that you have to climb over to get into. She says her family has also taken to storing essential items within easy reach to avoid falling while stretching or bending for the shampoo or loofah. “There’s nothing worse than losing a loved one or seeing them suffer because you failed to take simple precautions,” says Karki.  

Food is such an integral part of our culture. One of the first things we are asked when we meet someone is whether we have had lunch. We are offered food everywhere we go, and we must have something, even if we have just eaten. We can’t leave someone’s home without having a bite; it’s (almost) blasphemous. Fair to say, Nepalis connect and bond over shared meals. The flip side of this is that we end up unnecessarily fueling our bodies, building up a strain in the system that lowers our immunity and makes us prone to different diseases, say experts ApEx spoke to. Partly to blame are all the fad diets social media has exposed us to. “We are not using food to our advantage. And that’s compromising our health,” says Sushila Sharma Khatiwada, a dietician. Most Nepalis, she adds, don’t have a healthy relationship with food. They are either eating too much or too little. There is also a lot of misinformation about food. Everybody thinks rice leads to weight gain and roti to weight loss. The fact is, both these items are calorie-dense and should be consumed in moderation. “It’s the portion sizes that determine whether we lose or gain weight. We aren’t calibrating the food we eat to suit our needs,” says Khatiwada. Dietician Kala Nepal has similar views. She says it’s important to eat a balanced diet, ensuring your plate is as colorful as possible, to maintain good health. “Carbohydrates from rice or roti should occupy 25 percent of your plate. The rest should be filled with lentils, vegetables, and salads,” she says. Eating, Khatiwada adds, should be more of a personal experience than a social one. A sit-down dinner with family and friends is important sometimes but when it shifts the focus away from what our body needs, it can be hazardous. Diet dilemma  In the past few years, a variety of diets have taken over the world. There’s the low-carb diet where we limit our carb intake to 20 to 150 grams a day. The main aim of this is to force our body to use its fat reserve for energy. Then we have the wildly popular keto diet, another low-carb, high-fat diet. The Paleo diet, on the other hand, emphasizes the need to eat like our ancestors, meaning we stick to whole foods, lean protein, vegetables, fruits, nuts, and seeds while avoiding processed foods, sugar, dairy, and grains. Intermittent fasting involves restricting the eating period to eight hours a day and fasting for the remaining 16. No two diets are the same though the basic principle of all is calorie restriction. Khatiwada says going on a diet without understanding our bodies can do more harm than good. Most of her patients, she says, put themselves on a plan when they hear it has worked for their friend or colleague. But what works for our friend might not work for us because our bodies don’t function in the same way, she adds. Nepal adds that we have to factor in our medical condition and fitness while choosing a diet or making a meal plan. When patients want her to put together a keto or intermittent fasting plan, she asks them for their blood reports. This, she says, is important to determine whether they have certain conditions like diabetes or high cholesterol. “Intermittent fasting isn’t recommended for someone with diabetes as it might lead to a sudden drop in blood sugar. Similarly, keto diets aren’t advised for those with kidney problems,” explains Nepal. People want immediate results and while there are ways to achieve that, quick fixes aren’t recommended. For one, extreme diets aren’t sustainable in the long run. Second, it could destabilize our system and lead to hormonal imbalances and blood sugar fluctuations. Experts advocate a balanced diet as all nutrients are essential and depriving our body of one could cause all sorts of problems. Balance is the key “Carbs have gotten a bad rap because people think they cause weight gain. But carbohydrates are actually important for the proper functioning of the brain as it derives energy from it,” says Khatiwada. It’s the type of carbs in the diet that actually matter, and that’s where most of us falter. We equate carbohydrates with white rice. But there are healthier sources of carbohydrates too—like vegetables (other than potatoes), fruits, whole grains, and beans. Experts agree that the nutritional landscape is always changing, which confuses people. Also food marketing perpetuates a lot of false information. There are baseless claims coupled with memorable slogans and catchphrases that entice us to buy certain products thinking they are good for our health. “But nothing that comes in a package is good for you,” says dietician Anjeeta Sharma. She instead recommends whole foods—those that are minimally processed and free from preservatives. Fruits, vegetables, whole grains (like oats, barley, and brown rice), beans, eggs, and fish are all excellent sources of essential nutrients. However, moderation is key to achieving good health through our diet, she adds. Just because something is supposed to be healthy and thus good for us, doesn’t mean we should eat a lot of it. Sharma says she has seen people have huge portions of fruits. But fruits also have carbohydrates and sugar so it’s important to limit their intake too. She says one whole fruit a day is more than enough. “You can have an apple or half an apple and half a banana,” she explains. Another common problem with our eating habits is that we often tend to starve ourselves, without realizing how that isn’t benefiting us in any way. Not only does it slow down our metabolism, we are also more likely to overeat during our next meal. “We make the wrong food choices when we are hungry. We will reach for that packet of biscuits or noodles instead of cooking, say, a nice vegetable curry,” says Nepal. Back to the basics Dietician Aarem Karkee says the traditional Nepali diet of ‘dal-bhat-tarkari’ is the perfect example of a wholesome meal. Our conventional lifestyle, where we had lunch, snacks, and dinner, was ideal. Over the years, our foods started becoming more factory-based rather than farm-based. The rice we are consuming today is highly processed, as are the lentils. Influenced by western culture, we also started eating small meals, multiple times a day. “We should try to eat foods that are closest to their natural forms. While buying rice and lentils, the ones with the husk intact should be preferred to polished ones,” says Karkee. Besides that, we must also eat according to the season. Khatiwada says Nepalis have also started ‘stocking the pantry’ as westerners do. But they aren’t reading labels or checking expiration dates of products. This way, she says, our diets have become more toxic than ever before. “It’s important to make conscious food choices because as clichéd as it might sound, you are what you eat,” she says. Again, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to diet and good health. So, not every plate will or should look the same. Our food choices and habits should support our lifestyle and culture. As it’s impossible to do a diet overhaul overnight, Sharma recommends starting by focusing on at least one good, nutritionally-dense meal a day apart from educating ourselves about food and nutrition. “Over time, you will find yourself making healthier food choices,” she says.

According to the Nepal Police data, on average, seven people die and 69 are injured in road accidents in the country every day. Dan Bahadur Karki, acting spokesperson of Nepal Police, says motorbike casualties account for a large percentage of this number. In the past week, an Armed Police Force officer died when his bike collided with a school bus. Three other people died, and four were injured in accidents in Sunsari, Saptari, and Kailali. A German national, who was headed to Kathmandu from Narayangarh, died when his motorbike was hit by a jeep. Two people, including another foreigner, suffered serious injuries. Driver’s negligence, mechanical defects, and poor road infrastructure, including but not limited to good roads and proper signs, are the main reasons behind road accidents, says Karki. “Motorbike riders are especially prone to accidents as two-wheelers are unstable.” Motorcycle drivers often ditch helmets, speed, drive under influence, and then they have to navigate poor roads, adds the spokesperson. In developing countries like Nepal, motorcycles dominate the roads. According to the latest data at the Department of Transport Management, of 3.22m vehicles registered in Nepal, about 78 percent, or 2.53m, are motorcycles. SP Sitaram Rijal says most swanky motorbikes that ply the roads in Nepal aren’t suitable for them: 125 cc bikes would be more than sufficient but there are bikes of 500 cc and greater capacity available in the market, and these are more popular among youths. Over the years, the Nepal Police and the Metropolitan Traffic Police Department have come up with ways to reduce road accidents, from implementing strict lane discipline to the anti-drink driving campaign. These measures, though important, haven’t been enough, they say. Deepak Tamang, the founder of Creation Driving School, says you can’t always fault the authorities or expect them to shoulder all the responsibilities. Driving, he says, is a personal thing. And when you are out on the road, you must drive safely and responsibly. “Most bikers don’t ride as much as do stunts on the road. And everyone is always in a hurry,” he says. Suman Giri of Samyukta Driving School says the minimum age to acquire a motorbike license should be increased to 21. As of now, you can get one when you turn 16. Teenagers, he says, want to ride motorbikes as soon as they are legally allowed to. Their parents also give in to their demands and buy them whatever they choose. “Youngsters often ride motorbikes that they can’t maneuver properly. Their feet don’t reach the ground or the bike is too heavy for them,” says Giri. The onus lies on the parents to guide their children instead of just buying them fancy motorbikes. Tamang adds the focus should also be on learning to ride or drive properly rather than just passing the license trial exams, which is the trend right now: 75 percent of the ‘students’ enrolled at his driving school just want to get a license. Few are bothered about theoretical knowledge and, as a result, people don’t understand even the most basic traffic rules, he says. Worse, in Nepal, there is no concept of a learner’s permit or provisional license, a form of restricted license given to someone who’s learning to drive. In many other countries, to obtain a permit, you must pass a test. Also, you must have a learner’s permit for a certain time before you are allowed to apply for the real thing. This, Tamang says, polishes people’s driving skills in addition to giving them time to understand the rules and regulations. “Earlier, there was a system in Nepal whereby you were required to sit for a mandatory one-hour class on traffic regulations before license collection,” says Tamang. In Nepal, having a license doesn’t mean you are equipped to ride on the road, he adds. Pushpa Maharjan, the owner of Dev Driving Institute, says there’s also a blatant disregard for rules. Bike riders, especially, are careless—they ride in the wrong lane, overtake from the left, and squeeze their way through jeeps and buses. The police force is strapped for manpower, according to Karki, with just one officer for 1,666 vehicles. Every day, 845 new vehicles are registered. Which is why it’s essential to develop a system to monitor traffic, adds Maharjan. Currently, there are CCTV cameras in most hotspots but these are only used when there are accidents, to verify claims. “In reality, someone should be monitoring these 24/7, and action should be taken against those breaking the rules,” says Maharjan. One of the main reasons why people break rules, those ApEx spoke to say, is because they think they can get away with it. The Metropolitan Traffic Police Department (MTPD) laments that most of their prevention measures, including heavy fines, have failed to bring about the needed change in people’s attitudes. Rajendra Prasad Bhatta, the spokesperson of the department, says it’s mostly motorbike riders between the ages of 18 to 35 who are injured or die in accidents. “There’s a sense of invincibility at that age. Adrenaline-fueled youngsters tend to race on the road,” says Bhatta. Coupled with bad roads, that is a sure shot way to disaster, he adds. To curb this, the MTPD, in collaboration with the Nepal Red Cross and Nepal Scouts, is running awareness programs in 99 schools and colleges. It also plans to get youth volunteers involved in traffic management. The department hopes the experience will make youths conscious of road safety. SP Rijal adds the police department has gone all out in its efforts to curb road accidents. There is, however, a lack of public and government support. Recognizing the need to tackle the problem of road accidents, the WHO recently launched the second edition of the ‘Powered Two- and Three-Wheeler Safety Manual’. It provides guidance to help decision-makers and practitioners come up with a comprehensive set of rules and regulations needed to save lives. With case studies and evidence, it includes recommendations on developing better roads, ensuring safer mobility for all road users, and vehicle safety standards. “It’s going to take a collaborative effort of different government sectors—the transport department, road department, and local authorities—to curb this escalating problem,” says the Nepal Police spokesperson. 18 to 35 years - Injured or deaths 1 traffic police officer for 1,666 vehicles 845 new vehicle registration every day In Nepal, there are 7 deaths and 69 people are injured in 57 accidents every day The top 3 reasons for bike accidents - Driver’s recklessness, Overspeeding, Poor road infrastructure In the past four months, Shrawan to Kartik, there have been 3,336 accidents.  Vehicles involved - 5594, Two-wheelers - 2646

Elyn Bhandari’s ultrasound report stated his prostate was normal in size. For anyone else, it would have been good news. But Elyn is a transgender man, with the uterus and other female reproductive organs he was born with still intact. “I couldn’t believe it,” says the 30-year-old. “They took one look at me and decided I was a cis-man. The registration form had only two options: male and female. I had to pick one and I chose male.” This, he says, led to much confusion. The radiologist was shocked to see the uterus. He wondered out loud how that was possible and then proceeded to give Elyn a report befitting a cis-man. In another instance of callousness, Sudip Gautam, 30, a transgender man, took a friend, also a transgender man, to the hospital. He was having issues with his menstruation cycle. The doctor told him to have a baby. “As if it were that easy. The insinuation was that my friend shouldn’t defy nature,” says Sudip. The horrors don’t end there. There have been cases of doctors refusing to take transgender men and women as patients. Sometimes, they have been told to wait at the reception while a hospital staff asked the doctors if they were willing to look at such cases. A transgender woman who went to a hospital for leg pain was sent for counseling. She was told ‘these things’ could be fixed. The discrimination and harassment that the LGBTIQA+ community faces at hospitals in Nepal limit their access to healthcare in multiple ways. There are delays and denials of vital medical care. There’s a risk of wrong diagnosis and treatment. Many choose not to go to the hospital, letting disease fester instead. It’s also not unusual for transgenders who take hormone supplements to do so without consulting a doctor. The hospital staff’s disgust upon finding out their sexual orientation has apparently led to anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues as well. “The attitude of healthcare professionals changes when they find out we don’t fit into the society-sanctioned gender identities,” says Sudip. They ask unnecessary questions. They tease and taunt. A transgender man was questioned on how he developed breasts. Another, who still had breasts, was told to uncover his chest for an X-ray. Being shy and uncomfortable was unnecessary drama, he was told. Bhakti Shah, 36, a transgender man, has had a horrid experience at Tribhuvan University Teaching Hospital. He had to be rushed to the emergency because of pain in his lower abdomen. Despite Shah making his sexual orientation clear—he told them he had a partner who was a woman—they wanted to check if he was pregnant. “I was told my pains were consistent with that of early pregnancy. I wanted to leave but they refused to discharge me,” says Bhakti, claiming he felt so harassed that he ran away. Turns out, Bhakti had an ovarian cyst. To reduce the risk of cancer, the gynecologist he consulted suggested surgery to remove one of the ovaries. Bhakti told the doctor’s team that he wanted to have both his ovaries, as well as the uterus, removed. But his request was denied. What if he later changed his mind about not wanting to have a baby? They couldn’t risk it, she said. “They removed one of my ovaries. A year later, I developed cysts in the other ovary and had to get another surgery,” he says. Besides the financial burden, the inability to exercise his right over his own body took a big mental and emotional toll, says Bhakti. Medical care should be unbiased. Access to health is a basic right, and it’s guaranteed by the constitution of Nepal. But these are empty words for the LBGTIQA+ community. Representatives who spoke to ApEx say they would rather not go to the hospital, for the treatment they get there is often far worse than their illnesses. The discrimination they face discourages them from seeking medical care. At hospitals, transgenders have often been told to stay at the end of the line, with the priority given to cis-men and cis-women. It’s a hostile environment, says Elyn. Sujan Panta, an advocate, says easy access to healthcare is a basic human right. Time and again, people of the LGBTIQA+ community are denied this right because of health professionals’ own biases and also because of a lack of clear laws and policies. “Doctors and hospitals are in a quandary. There is much confusion on what is allowed and what’s not,” says Panta. As far as gender discrimination is concerned, Panta feels a lack of reporting and media advocacy are also responsible. People let it go, as a one-off incident, and that strengthens the discriminatory system. “When a marginalized group faces discrimination of any kind, more so in something as important as healthcare, it should be highlighted,” he says. Simran Shrestha, a transgender woman, says we first need a gender-neutral society for it to translate into good healthcare for all. Despite the constitution guaranteeing equal rights to everyone, Nepal still hasn’t been able to implement it. This, she feels, is because biases run deep. “It’s important to change that, through awareness and education,” she says. Elyn, on the other hand, feels that is the ultimate goal but it’s a long process. The healthcare sector needs immediate reform. For starters, there should be a mechanism to report discrimination that LGBTIQA+ people inevitably face at hospitals. Simran says healthcare professionals should be trained early on, during their internships if not before that, adding there is currently insufficient understanding of LGBTIQA+ needs and issues. “Nepal has made a lot of progress where LGBTIQA+ rights are concerned. There have been many positive changes. But the implementation part is one we must seriously look into,” says Lily Thapa, a member of the National Human Rights Commission (NHRC). “Discrimination is a crime. There are no two ways about it. But what’s also true is that our medical system isn’t sensitized on LGBTIQA+ matters,” she says. The NHRC can work with the LGBTIQA+ community on such sensitization, which is perhaps the only feasible and impactful solution, she adds. “I’m not saying you have to put up with bad behavior until the necessary change happens. There is a mechanism in place whereby you can lodge a complaint with the NHRC and we will look into it immediately,” Thapa says. Unlike most government procedures, it’s actually simple. You can file a complaint online or just email the NHRC with the details. Advocate Panta adds, “It might not feel like a lot. But it’s the start. Not doing anything about the discrimination you face is far worse, especially if it limits your access to a service as vital as healthcare.” BOX Terminologies LGBTIQA+: Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer, asexual, agender, aromantic, and other sexually or gender-diverse identities Transgender man or transman: a man who was assigned female at birth Transgender woman or transwoman: a woman who was assigned male at birth Cis-man or Cis-woman: Cisgender is a term used to describe a person whose gender identity corresponds to their sex assigned at birth

The Nepal Police hired 115,000 temporary police personnel for the Nov 20 House of Representatives and Provincial Assembly elections. For 40 days, the Myadi Prahari was supposed to assist in the security arrangements for the elections—from traffic management to enforcing the election code of conduct. Now relieved of their duties, most of them have returned to their villages in different parts of Nepal. Some want to work abroad, while quite a few are determined to join the police force. Chakra Singh, 27, from Bajura district in the Sudurpashchim Province, applied to be a part of the Myadi Prahari as he felt the experience would open doors for foreign employment. He wants to go to Canada or the US to work as a security guard, he says. Singh had worked in the Nepal Army for eight years. He was doing odd jobs before being selected for the Myadi Prahari. “I’m hoping the experience letter will help me get a good job abroad,” he says. Forty-three-year-old Ram Bhujel’s reasons are similar to Singh’s. He joined the Myadi Prahari as he felt it would look good on his resume. A few years ago, Ram was all set to go to Malaysia. Covid-19 put a damper on his plans. Now, he is no longer eligible to work in Malaysia as they don’t accept applicants over the age of 40. “Romania was also on my radar but the recruitment agency asked for Rs 600,000 and I didn’t have that kind of money,” he says. Ram, who worked with the Nepal Army in Pokhara for 16 years, is now preparing to go to Kuwait. He thought working in the Myadi Prahari was a good way to utilize his free time and earn a little money while at it. The police force, he says, is an entirely different setting compared to the army. Though the public is likely to view them as one and the same—as enforcers of law and order—there are hardly any similarities between the two, he adds. “The army is more of an isolated job. You work within a certain area and that’s it. There is limited outside contact,” says Ram. Working as the Myadi Prahari though, he had to interact with many people on a daily basis. On his 12-hour shifts, he came across all kinds of people who wanted police help for a variety of things. Some would ask for directions or help to cross the road. Some even expected the police to rush somewhere to solve a family quarrel. “It’s a job that requires you to be active and alert all the time. You don’t get a minute’s rest,” he says. Although fit individuals between the age of 18 to 54 were selected for the job, the Myadi Prahari ApEx spoke to say the work was still physically and mentally challenging. Kuber Gurung from Khotang of Province 1 in Eastern Nepal says he has newfound respect for the Nepal Police. Their work is tiresome and they are undervalued, he says. “I applied for the job as I thought it was a good opportunity to earn some money while preparing for the loksewa. But it also ended up teaching me the value of hard work and discipline,” says Gurung. Dilu Bhujel, 20, from Chabahil, Kathmandu, agrees with Gurung. Dilu says he was always fascinated by the police, and that it was a childhood dream to don the uniform. But he understood the responsibility that comes with it only when he served in the temporary force. The police have rigorous routines, long hours, and low pay. It’s only natural for them to sometimes lose their cool, especially when they have to deal with an array of unpredictable scenarios every day. Losing temper is not a way to brandish power, as we tend to think, but a sign of work getting to them, says Dilu. “A little consideration from the public can make their work and lives so much easier.” Dan Bahadur Karki, acting spokesperson of the Nepal Police, says most applicants for the Myadi Prahari were those looking for some sort of job. A stipend of over Rs 50,000 is enticing, he says. Then, they also want to pick up skills that can make them employable in the security forces both in Nepal and abroad. Recruiting companies tend to prioritize those who have served in the police, even if it’s a temporary posting. Pay and position aside, many youths joined the Myadi Prahari considering it to be a foot in the door of the police force. They felt it would increase their chances of later being accepted into the Nepal Police. Nithilesh Mahato, 21, Siraha, wants to be a police officer and plans to apply when there’s an opening. It’s a prestigious job, he says. The 10-day training period was an amazing learning experience as he got to learn under those in the force. “I consider myself lucky to have been a small part of the police force. I feel like it was a step in the right direction,” he says. But the Myadi Prahari experience was far from hassle-free. The training was demanding and the actual work risky. Some officers were injured in the line of duty. One was killed. Spokesperson Karki says the cabinet will decide on the compensation for the deceased’s family. Apparently, they will get around Rs 2m. But nothing can make up for a lost life. Those ApEx spoke to shudder at the thought that they too could have died. “The election is generally a tense time. You can never predict what will happen, says Gurung. A total of 125 temporary police personnel faced disciplinary action for not doing their duty properly. Despite several warnings, most of them were found to have consumed alcohol during work hours. There’s an issue with their stipends too. Most of the Myadi Prahari claim they haven’t been fully paid. They expected to get a fixed salary at the end of their tenure. But they were paid in small installments instead, and are yet to receive at least around Rs 10,000. They don’t know when it will come or if it will at all. “If we had gotten a lump sum, we could have done something with that money, like paid off a loan or invested it somewhere,” says Ram. He adds they have been told that the cost of the uniform will be deducted from their wages. That means they will have to pay Rs 6,000 for clothes they are unlikely to wear again. The Myadi Prahari face an uncertain future. There’s a glimmer of hope that their experience in the force will help them gain a footing in the security agencies. Having gotten a taste of what being a police officer feels like, they wish they can now get a similarly prestigious job. Going abroad to work isn’t a choice, but a compulsion, they say, for it might be the only solution to their financial woes. “Unless the government creates more jobs, Nepalis like us will have no option but to continue toiling away in foreign lands,” says Singh.