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A Japanese emperor once asked a Zen master: “What’s the difference after you got enlightened?”

The master said: “Not much. I used to chop wood in the jungle and fetch water from the well. I do the same now. I chop wood and fetch water.”

The emperor was baffled, so the master explained: “Earlier, I did it with my deluded mind. My mind was not there when I chopped wood and fetched water. Now I can do just that. My mind is there. I can see it and enjoy it.” The emperor got the answer.

The master’s everyday life didn’t change. Only the way he lived changed. His mechanical, absent-minded way changed. A thousand thoughts hit his mind when he chopped wood and fetched water. Maybe he got angry at having to do something so menial while his friends were having a good time out there. Often his mind was everywhere but the wood and water. When he was enlightened, a total awareness opened to him. The mind got calm and settled. Now he could really be with what he was doing—chopping wood and fetching water. It was no longer a boring daily chore, but an enjoyable act of witnessing. 

That simple knowing—that awareness—about how his mind worked when he did an everyday job made all the difference. Being in that knowing—in the awareness—purified his mind of things that tainted it. That’s the mind the master carried after enlightenment.

Things do not change for an enlightened person. Only how they see changes. They go about doing the same thing, but they can see them in their untainted purity, in their perfect ‘fullness’. They are totally with the things they do, both physically and mentally. They just have cut off the mind’s ‘attachment’ to or against it. They can still play football or listen to 1974 AD. They can still disco-dance, have a girlfriend or boyfriend, or drink a few glasses of beer. (It’s a different matter that they don’t indulge in 
such things.)

Often we tend to think that enlightened people are outlandish. Not exactly. They don’t go into caves and cut themselves off from people. To the contrary, they come out of caves and mingle with people. They share true love. They know the mind and the world, inside-out, in their purity. Living goes on as usual. It only gets purer.

The common thread is that loneliness lurks in the old age. But that’s not talked about often, at least not publicly.

According to the study by Holt-Lunstad and team, the support of family, friends and neighbors can increase your chances of living to a healthy old age by 50 percent.

By the time urban Nepali children enter teenage their eyes are firmly set on the US, the UK, or Australia. As soon as they complete higher secondary, they start applying to colleges abroad. In a couple years, they are flying already.

Parents are happy behind, or so they appear. At least the society lauds the family for their success in sending their wards abroad. Often, on their children’s graduation, parents go abroad, take photos against a nice backdrop, and post them on Facebook. Then the desperate counting of ‘likes’ and answering comments starts. That’s a typical storyline of modern Nepali families.

A second part of the story is often not reported on Facebook. Without children, homes no longer remain homes. As Nepali parents are not used to living away from their children, the house starts to haunt. There is also a different storyline for some families that are not as lucky. There, aging parents suffer from neglect.

The common thread is that loneliness lurks in the old age. Though that’s not talked about often, at least not publicly. Forget doing a research on it. But there have been some research abroad. Terming loneliness an ‘epidemic’ The New York Times reported in 2016 that “In Britain and the US, roughly one in three people older than 65 live alone, and in the US, half of those older than 85 live alone.” Studies in the two countries show the prevalence of loneliness among people older than 60 ranging from 10 percent to 46 percent.

Loneliness and resulting health issues became big enough to prompt former British Prime Minister Theresa May to appoint a ‘loneliness minister’ in January 2018.

“Loneliness is one of the greatest public health challenges of our time,” May was reported as saying while launching a cross-government strategy to tackle it. She said all general practitioners in England should be able to refer patients experiencing loneliness to community activities and voluntary services by 2023.

The missing touch

In the US, a study of 300,000 people concluded that social isolation is as bad for one’s health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day or being an alcoholic. It also does more damage to your health than not exercising—and is twice as harmful as obesity. Professor Julianne Holt-Lunstad of Brigham Young University in Utah, who led the study, said friends and family influenced health for the better by offering a ‘calming touch’ or by helping people find meaning in their lives.

This ‘calming touch’ of friends and family has been a characteristic of the Nepali society. But that is in a decline. The family touch is much valued in Nepal, and its absence becomes glaring and a major cause of sorrow, especially in old age.

“These days, the family fabric is wearing thin. We come across many cases where sons feel their old parents do not meet their modern standards,” says Bina Aryal, 70, a former teacher of Lainchaur-based Kanya School. “In a family system where sons look after their ageing parents, this is not the right thing to do. It breaks the parents’ hearts.”

Says Pushkar Prasad Aryal, 67: “In old age when you are physically weak, your mind is also weak. Somebody says a small thing to you, you are seriously hurt. And when it’s your own children, you are devastated.”

Pushkar chairs Baristha Nagarik Samaj (Senior Citizens Society) Nepal, a non-profit that works as a support group for senior citizens. The organization provides platform for people to meet and share their feelings. It offers music classes and gives yoga and meditation sessions in addition to counseling people on social and
family issues.

“We know there are psychological issues with our members and visitors, mostly related to their sons and daughters. You don’t like to be ostracized by your own children at an age when you need them the most,” says Pushkar.

Often children living abroad do not want their parents to join them as it disturbs their life, according to Bina. If at all, they invite the parents to help during pregnancy. “The parents feel exploited and neglected in a foreign land. We know of cases when sons have hidden their parents’ passports so that they don’t go back before the post-natal care is over.”

Rejected in love

The ‘weakening’ of family bond is largely caused by materialistic thinking and lack of moral education, according to Rajani Basnet, 68, a former teacher at Baneshwor-based Ratna Rajya School. She laments the disappearance of moral education from school curriculum. “The eastern tradition of parental care was so beautiful. It used to be part of moral education in schools. But no longer,” she rues. “Now don’t expect this family fabric to be as
strong as before.”

Weak family bond causes loneliness among senior people. And it is likely to develop into a serious health issue in the future, if not now.

As per Bina, who is also an executive member of the Senior Citizens Society Nepal, people do not like to discuss it. “They come here, we know they are shattered from within. Many try to hide their tears, often unsuccessfully,” says Bina. “Quite understandably, nobody likes to talk about being rejected by their own children.”

There was no data available as to how many senior citizens felt dejected or how many of them had mental issues. The country’s mental health care system remains woeful. As per 2011 Population Census, nine percent of the country’s people are senior citizens. (The Senior Citizens Act 2006 defines anybody above 60 as a senior citizen.) After turning 70, they get a monthly government stipend of Rs 3,000. That they may need psychological care is out of government radar.

There are brighter stories as well. Bhairab Neupane, a retired public health professional, is on a perennial vacation. One of his daughters is in the US, and another one and a son in Australia. His fourth daughter moves between India and the US for work. His wife too moves between Australia and the US to spend time with the children. Neupane has no issue staying home in Kathmandu. His accident a decade ago restricts his travels, but he has a lot of support from extended family and friends. And there is the Facebook Messenger that helps him connect with his three daughters and son. Sometimes Viber also comes handy.

Neupane spends around four hours a day on average connecting with family and friends. Pushkar does the same. His one son is a permanent resident of Australia, and the other is a Nepal Army officer serving UN peacekeeping force in Sudan. He also relies heavily on Facebook Messenger and Viber. His engagement with the Senior Citizens’ Society gives him a cushion and a satisfaction of helping lonely senior citizens.

Healthy old age

A 2009 Harvard research paper draws from multiple sources in associating loneliness with the progression of Alzheimer’s disease, obesity, increased vascular resistance, elevated blood pressure, poor sleep, diminished immunity, alcoholism, suicidal ideation and behavior, and increased mortality in older adults. So being connected definitely helps. According to the study by Holt-Lunstad and team, the support of family, friends and neighbors can increase your chances of living to a healthy old age by 50 percent.

As Mother Teresa once said: “We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love”.

Two lines of thought have always dominated Nepal’s political landscape: democratic and communist. While the communists think democrats are capitalists, the latter would like to call themselves social democrats, along the line of BP Koirala, late prime minister and leader of Nepali Congress. It’s a different matter that the term social democracy is little understood. Even the followers of Koirala are often at loss. Explaining it is the first task Ram Sharan Mahat undertakes in his lat­est book Trials, Tremors and Hope: The Political Economy of Contem­porary Nepal. He does it beautifully. In the initial chapters, one will get a concise picture of the concept of social democracy.

“Given the contradictions between communism and democ­racy, it was obvious that the two couldn’t be practically combined in the real world,” Mahat writes. “But the positive elements of the two systems could be incorporated into a middle ground philosophy of democratic socialism.”

“The burgeoning model of social­ism is liberal, democratic and mar­ket-oriented, but not market-dictat­ed,” he elaborates. That gives the gist: think of the market and help it grow, just don’t let it dictate you.

“BP [Koirala] was adamant that ‘abundant production’ must pre­cede distribution. The goal is to dis­tribute ‘one glass of milk’ each to all citizens, ‘not a spoonful.’ Socialism could never be seen as ‘distribution of poverty’.”

Capitalist and socialist systems are borrowing from each other based on social and economic imperatives, giving credence to convergence the­ory, Mahat concludes.

Nepal’s post-1990 liberal eco­nomic policy hit roadblocks in a new democracy perturbed by awful inter- and intra-party conflicts, a Maoist insurgency, and a stupid royal takeover. The perennially hung parliament and ever-changing governments stopped those poli­cies from bearing fruit. They never­theless gave a roadmap for Nepal, which continues till date. Mahat, a six-time finance minister, is credited as the man behind Nepal’s economic liberalism.

The Maoist conflict was indeed a serious setback for the coun­try. Though the exact estimate is not available, the cost of the war, according to DFID, was between 8-10 percent of GDP. It simply means that instead of aiming for 8-10 per­cent growth and making capital investment accordingly, the country was spending almost one tenth of its resources on a violent civil war. Nepal Peace Campaign estimates that the cost of conflict between 1996 and 2003 was US $66.2 billion.

Mahat laments Nepal’s lost oppor­tunity in hydropower as the country couldn’t start projects when invest­ment cost was low. But hydropower is still a viable option. Nepal, how­ever, will have to mostly depend on India for export. Antagonizing India is not an option. Mahat suggests consensus-building among political parties to negotiate with India on water rights and benefit-sharing.

But his support for the Koshi High Dam, a project India has been pushing in Nepal, can invite contro­versy. Also, he hails remittance as an important source of livelihood and the largest source of foreign exchange for Nepal. That can be contested too as other economists reckon heavy reliance on remittance is dangerous. 

Structure-wise, the book can be divided into four parts: chapter 1 gives brief philosophical back­ground of socialist-democratic thoughts, while chapters 2-10 dwell on Nepal’s history of political econ­omy starting from the BP Koirala days. The eleventh chapter, State of the Economy, talks about where we stand now and the last chap­ter, Challenges and Tasks Ahead, shows the way ahead. We ultimately need to act today to build the tomor­row that we want. In that sense, the last two chapters are the most important ones.

To sum up his recommendations for both today and future: make the new federal governance work; overcome the deep-rooted polit­ical culture that prevents imple­mentation of written laws and pol­icies; build and enable institutions at sub-national levels to perform constitutional duties, make them efficient in fiscal management; have a merit-based bureaucracy; scale up private investment; and ensure high­er, sustained flow of FDI to expand Nepal’s industrial base. Populism leading to unproductive recurrent spending worries the author.

Mahat is a senior leader of Nepali Congress. But the economist in him speaks more in the book, which offers a professional analysis of Nepal’s political and economic his­tory. It is a book worth investing in O

The 242-page book, published by Adroit Publishers, is priced at Indian Rupees 795 (NRs 1,272)

 This review appeared in the print edition under the headline "A capitalist-socialist midway"​

We recently celebrated the Valentine’s Day, or the so-called love day. Many of us expressed love through every available means. We could have done that on other days also—there were 364 at our disposal. Maybe we didn’t realize then.

That particular day, Feb­ruary 14, gave us an occa­sion, a reason, a reminder, to express love. It’s easy to overlook, but it brought our minds to that particular day. We were reminded to think: ‘Today is a special day’.

Habitually, we are either living in the past or in the future. Past means memo­ries and future means pro­jections based on those memories. Memories are often good or bad, causing us to either cling to or loathe them. And projections too can be good or bad, causing us to either fancy or fear what would come next. In all this, our present moment slips away. Always.

Most of the festivals and ‘days’ around the world bring people’s minds to that day. These days enable people to live in the moment. They lift people’s minds out of mem­ories and projections, and drop them to the ‘here and now’. Without realizing, peo­ple enjoy the ‘here and now’.

Lost in memories and pro­jections, we lose our pre­cious moments. By habit, we cannot enjoy ourselves. We cannot accept ourselves in the moment as we keep remembering the good or nasty things of the past. We are too busy coveting or fear­ing what comes tomorrow or the next year. Slaves to past and future, we have lost our freedom to live ‘here and now’.

What happens if we were in a situation to love? Imag­ine your possible love is next to you. Or a friend, a kid, or your pet, it doesn’t matter. You cannot accept them when you are ruminat­ing the past and worrying about the future. You had a pleasant love affair in the past, or a horrible one. As a slave of habit, you start judging—‘this girl is worse than my ex’ or ‘this guy is no match to my prince’ or ‘this is great, but it will also pass and leave me in pain’. And whoops! Love vanishes. Mind oscillates between the past and future. Your moment of love is lost.

When you live in the pres­ent moment and accept things and people as they are, two things happen: you become peaceful and you better connect with people. It will clear your love-jam. You are then able to love.

With roughly 0.22 psychiatrists and 0.06 psychologists for every 100,000 people, Nepal is woefully underprepared to meet its growing mental health challenges. The state’s investment in mental health is dis­mal—under a percent of the total health budget. The result: up to 90 percent Nepalis with mental health problems never get professional help. Even the little manpower Nepal has in mental health may not be up to the standard in the absence of a regula­tory body certifying their qualifications and credentials.

“Without a reliable professional body regulating mental health professionals, we cannot ensure the quality of the services they provide,” says Dr. Mita Rana, a clini­cal psychologist and associate professor at IOM’s Department of Psychology and Mental Health. “Baffles me how such an important issue has been taken so lightly!”

How many mental health pro­fessionals are there in Nepal? It is hard to say. What can be said for sure is that there are far few of them. Roughly, there are 0.22 psychiatrists and 0.06 psychologists for every 100,000 peo­ple (see box below), respectively. As a result, around 90 percent peo­ple needing mental health treatment in Nepal don’t get it.Shova Rijal (name changed) of Dhapasi returned to Kathmandu from New York a year ago. Her job as an executive at a stockbroking firm in New York was taxing and she used to book a session with her counselor when­ever she felt stressed out. But she couldn’t do that in Nepal. When she heard of a meditation retreat in a mon­astery next to Swayambhu, she readily joined.

“You know it’s not easy to find a professional counselor here,” says Rijal. “I did a little research, and found nothing convincing.” In the US, she paid $400 for an hour-long session. She thought that was expensive but worth it nonetheless. The four-day retreat in Kathmandu helped her a lot, as she later shared. But it may not be as helpful to oth­ers. As different people have differ­ent mental health conditions, their needs vary.

Jagannath Lamichhane, a men­tal health expert and chairperson of Juggernaut Mindset, thinks that “the non-stigmatizing and accom­modative nature of our society helps people deal with psychological prob­lems to an extent”. He thinks the cul­ture of going to temples and meeting spiritual teachers provides psycho­logical healing, but there may be situations when people need clinical support. More so when the situation has already gone out of hand.

For Lilu Sharma, an engineer by profession, a six-day Art of Living course and then a 10-day Vipassana meditation retreat in Kathmandu were helpful. But the stress of having to look after her alcoholic father, ailing mother, and estranged broth­er, both in terms of time and mon­ey, required something more. More than that, she looks after 114 young men and women aged 16-26 at four hostels she runs in Kathmandu. She counsels these people on all sorts of topics.

What she is doing is more than an ordinary person can handle, much less a single woman in her 20’s. So she thought it would be wise to visit a counselor. “Sometimes, the pressure of having to do everything requires me to go and seek profes­sional help,” she shares. “This helps with my own stress and also enables me to help others.”

Pros and semi-pros

Dr. Kapil Dev Upadhyaya, a senior psychiatrist and consultant at the Thapathali-based Center for Men­tal Health and Counselling-Nepal, stretches his schedule a little to listen to Sharma, as he knows how import­ant it is. Himself a meditation prac­titioner, Upadhyaya also thinks our social and spiritual systems naturally support mental well-being. Still, there is a need for professional help, just as Sharma sought.

While it’s beyond doubt that more mental health profession­als are needed, ensuring their qual­ity is as important. There are very few academic programs in the coun­try to train professional counsel­ors. And there is no mechanism to look after the quality of training.

Tribhuvan University’s Institute of Medicine (IOM) provides an MPhil degree in clinical psychology that enables one to be a licensed clinical psychologist. Likewise, TU’s Central Department of Psychology (CDP) provides two-year master’s degree in psychology and one-year certifi­cate on counseling. The IOM MPhil program started in 1999, but the total number of graduates is still under three dozens in the highly-compet­itive program. The country of near­ly 30 million as such has just over 30 clinical psychologists offering their expertise.

CDP graduates may choose to be psychosocial or school counselors. But they cannot be a registered counselor due to the absence of a regulatory body. Not being affiliated may also mean lack of accountabili­ty. The IOM graduates, on the other hand, can register at the National Health Professional Council (NHPC).

Medical doctors have a well-estab­lished medical council that accredits them after a comprehensive written test. But sans a standard procedure, anybody with a clinical psychology degree from any university can reg­ister at the NHPC. That worries Dr. Mita Rana, a clinical psychologist and associate professor at IOM’s Department of Psychology and Mental Health.

“Without a reliable professional body regulating it, we cannot ensure the quality of mental health services being provided,” says Rana. “Baffles me how such an important issue has been taken so lightly!”

Some non-government organi­zations offer short-term counsel­ing training. But these are only seasonal and tailor-made pro­grams ranging from one week to few months in duration. Both Lamichhane and Dr. Rana are skeptical of the quality of these programs. The trainees are either NGO workers or are later employed by them. Their skills may not be of much help to most sufferers of mental health problems.

Hope amid despair

One reason Nepal has few mental health professionals is low pay. Counselling in par­ticular is time-consuming. The medical doctors hardly spend 2-3 minutes on an out-patient in Nepal. In an hour, a busy doctor sees as many as 30 patients: the more patients you see, the more money you make. But clinical psy­chologists do not have that luxury. Sometimes they may have to spend hours with a single patient, limiting their scope of payment.

Dr. Rana, who sees patients at Teaching Hospital, spends an hour with a patient on average. “It’s a delicate process. We have to spend time with the patients, and closely listen to them. Only then can we help them.”

She also does part-time consul­tancy at the Gyaneshwor-based Himal Hospital. In her three hours at Himal, she can see only three patients. A patient pays Rs 800 per session at the hospital, compared to $400 (Rs 45,000) Rijal paid in New York. “Despite the pay, you cannot neglect the need for more profes­sional mental health services,” Dr. Rana asserts.

The need for psychological coun­seling was particularly high after the 2015 earthquakes when many peo­ple suffered mental trauma, accord­ing to Dr. Upadhyaya. Perhaps this realization led to Nepal hosting the first International Conference on Mental Health in February 2018. One of the conference recommendations was to ‘improve the technical capac­ity and skills of health profession­als working at all levels of mental health care’.

But no improvement toward that end is in sight. There is hope though. The Nepal Health Research Council, a body under the Ministry of Health and Population, has started a Nation­al Mental Health Survey project that is expected to give a ‘clear national picture of the prevalence of mental disorder and unmet need for ser­vices’. The report, due in 2021, could potentially be a game-changer for mental health in Nepal

Mental health stats

•Government spending is less than 1 percent of its total healthcare budget on mental health.
• There are 0.22 psychiatrists and 0.06 psychologists per 100,000 people.
• Mental health services are concentrated in the big cities.
• There are approximately only 50 psychiatric clinics and 12 psychological counseling centers.
• An estimated gap between treatment and magnitude of mental health problems is over 85 percent.
• There are estimated 1.5 beds per 100,000 people across the country for mental health patients.
• Suicides among women of reproductive age increased from 22 per 100,000 in 1998 to 28 per 100,000 in 2008.
• Only 2 percent of medical and nursing training is dedicated to mental health.
Source: Health Research and Social Development Forum (HERD), 2016

Where to seek help?

Only a few facilities in Nepal provide psychological support (psychiatrist or clinical psychologist) for those with mental health problems, including the ones mentioned below. The list is not comprehensive; we hope it can be a starting point though.
1. Center for Mental Health and Counselling-Nepal (CMC-Nepal), Thapathali (01-4102037, 4226041)
2. Rhythm Neuropsychiatry Hospital and Research Center Pvt Ltd, Ekantakuna (01-5000700, 5000711)
3. Mental Hospital, Lagankhel (01-5522278, 5522266)
4. Teaching Hospital, Maharajgunj (01-4412303, 4412505, 4412605)
5. Patan Hospital, Lagankhel (01-5522278, 5522266)
6. Kathmandu Medical College, Sinamangal (1-4242121, 4242015)
7. Private hospitals [Himal (01-4415076), Om (9802076225), Norvic (01-4258554), Mediciti (01-4217766), Metro (01-4721514, and others]
8. BPKIHS Dharan (025-525555)
9. Manipal Teaching Hospital, Pokhara (061-526416/17/18/19)

A book could be boring if it is not of your field of interest. But not all books. Some can be damn interesting regardless of what they are about. Dambar Krishna Shrestha’s ‘Nepali Pravasan: Niyati ra Rahar’ is one such book. It tells stories of Nepalis who have gone to foreign countries—from Asia to Europe to Australia to America. These are stories of life, aspiration, success, failure, pain, death, labor, entrepreneurship, and hope.The stories take you on a world tour and connect you to Nepalis everywhere. You’ll meet Tulasi Kumar Gurung of Pokhara in Hong Kong who ensures that his boss Li Ka-shing, one of the richest men in the world, is safe and sound. You’ll meet Sabin Sapkota of Dharan in Germany, coaching golfers. There’s Gurkha soldier Indra Bahadur Rai from Dharan, showing his five med­als of bravery from World War II. And Hakim Shrestha from Jhapa who runs a chain of grocery stores in Malaysia. The construction com­pany initiated by Dipak Khadka in Hong Kong employs 360 people from Australia, China, and the Phil­ippines. Lakesh Gurung from Gong­abu (Kathmandu) is an army officer in French Foreign Legion.

Gulf countries may be risky for Nepali women but they are doing pretty well in Hong Kong, Japan, the US, and the UK. Pavin Rai from Dha­ran is an officer with British Armed Forces. People often assume she is a Gurkha soldier or a wife of one. It’s hard for them to believe she has fought hard battles in the bunkers of Kenya, Cyprus, and twice in Afghan­istan. Her most difficult moment was when three of her colleagues were killed in Afghanistan in 2008.

Sushila Rai found it difficult to sustain the family even after work­ing from 4am till 9pm at her shop in Dharan. In Hong Kong, earning a living has never been an issue.

On board Qatar Airways, you may run into the music video model Pragya Panta, who is now an air­hostess with the airlines. There you may also meet ‘hot’ cybernepal.com model Sicilia. Eating Nepali food at Monika Rai’s restaurants in Japan and shopping at her department stores can also be an experience.

In America, you’ll meet many of Nepal’s missing celebrities. If you’re one of the music-loving teens of the 1990’s, you may be interested in knowing that Harish Mathema is ‘found in the US doing something or the other.’ It makes me nostalgic as I still have his songs ‘Aankhako Nani Hau Timi’ and ‘Swapnil Rangma’ in my collection.

Actress Arunima Lamsal smiles in front of the tables in a Maryland restaurant where she works. Singer Yam Baral poses for a photo on a street. Actresses Saranga Shrestha and Puja Chanda stand for a group picture with their families. Premraja Mahat, Yam Baral, Sapanashree, Jagadish Samal, Roshan Gurung, Dipesh Kishor Bhattarai sing Nepali songs somewhere. Yam Baral quips: “There are so many Nepali artistes in the US that one may have to take them from here for a show in Nepal.”

The stories are written in direct and unpretentious tone of newspa­per journalism. The skills of Shrestha as a writer-reporter and of Rajendra Dahal, Kundan Aryal, Shiva Gaunle, and Kiran Nepal as editors at Himal Khabarpatrika com­bine to give reading pleasure.

Had it been an academic thesis or an NGO report on migration, it would be half as fun to read. But written by a journalist who is himself a migrant in Hong Kong, it sounds real and lively.

The book is a collection of stories Shrestha wrote between 2000 and 2015 for Himal Khabarpatrika. The 41 stories are thematically divided into nine sections. There are success stories of Nepalis but also stories of awful deaths abroad. It’s appalling to learn that three dead bodies fly into the country daily. There are people who have committed suicide after failing to repay debts even after working under the hot Qatar sun.

There is the gloomy story of Sudarshan Khadka of Lele, Lalitpur, whose brother Ramesh Khadka was one of the 12 Nepalis killed by terror­ists in Iraq in 2004. The government gave the family a million rupees in compensation. The family spent Rs 100,000 to build a bust of the dead son at the courtyard of their house, and gave Sudarshan Rs 250,000 to go abroad for work. Of all the coun­tries, Sudarshan chose Iraq. The rea­son was better pay. He confides to the author: “It’s no use just remem­bering him [Ramesh]. Though the fear of death looms every moment, there is also the hope of earning well.” But he couldn’t enter Iraq. His agent took him to Jordan via India, Dubai, and Kuwait. After spending three months on the tour and losing the money, he returned.

Why would Nepalis go abroad after all? The book offers some ideas. In his preface to the book, Rajendra Dahal writes: “On read­ing the success stories of Nepalis abroad, a question comes to the mind: Nepalis don’t have work at home, but they have no dearth of it abroad. Why is that?”

Published by Himal Kitab for the Center for the Study of Labor and Mobility, Social Science Baha, the 296-page book is priced at Rs 390

 How does anyone contribute to the society’s betterment? First, there should be the intent or drive, then the resources. But that’s only the starting point. Having a conducive environment is a prerequisite. Philanthropist Ruth Shapiro and her Hong Kong-based organization, the Center for Asian Philanthropy and Society (CAPS), travel to Asian countries to find out how easy is it to carry out philan­thropic works. Her focus is on finding out if busi­ness organizations feel at ease car­rying out philanthropic works in a particular country. But the work goes beyond business organizations and covers non-profit and non-gov­ernment sectors as well.

Philanthropy is a trendy topic for the modern corporate world. Business leaders often talk about giving back to the society. In the US, philanthropy accounts for 2 percent of the GDP. For corporates, it is legally mandatory to spend at least 2 percent of their annual revenue in philanthropic works. There are two benefits to it: first, such spending is tax-free, and second, it helps build public trust, which ultimately helps the business.

We may recall the recent announcement by Chinese billion­aire Jack Ma to give US $14 million to fight coronavirus, which won his company big public acclaim. How­ever, the philanthropic spending in Asia is far lower than 2 percent, even though it is slowly picking up.

The CAPS compiles the Doing Good Index (DGI) from 17 countries and economies in Asia to gauge the ease of philanthropic giving. The index gives a sense of whether a country’s regulatory and institu­tional frameworks are helpful for that by building on both government and non-government data.

“If we could reach the 2 percent figure here, that would be equiv­alent to US $504 billion a year, to be generated from the countries in Asia where we are working,” says Shapiro. This figure—US $504 billion—is approximately 11 times the money that comes as foreign aid into this region, according to Shapiro.

“It’s one third of the cost of achiev­ing the Sustainable Development Goals on an annual basis. I think the 2 percent philanthropic spending is very possible,” she says. “What would happen if we got there? Wouldn’t that be incredible?”

The CAPS data include China, Hong Kong, India, Japan, Pakistan, Singapore, and Sri Lanka, among others. From 2019, it has started studying the philanthropic envi­ronment in Nepal as well. The final report, to be compiled as Doing Good Index 2020, will be released soon. It essentially looks at four sets of indicators, three of which have to do with the government—regu­lations, tax and fiscal policy, and procurement policy—and one with the people and the private sector. The organization has partnered with Chaudhary Foundation in Nepal for field research.

A matter of trust

Philanthropic giving hinges on an environment of trust. “There is a lack of trust among the private sector, the non-profit sector, and the government. In many cases these groups don’t trust each other when it comes to giving,” Shapiro says. “How do you build trust? One way is to be more accountable and trans­parent with what you are trying to do.”

“By compiling the DGI, we want to understand what enables the giving and receiving of money and other resources, and what holds it back,” Shapiro adds. She and members of her organization tour the region meeting government officials, pol­icymakers, members of the pub­lic, and the business community to encourage philanthropic giving.

More than charity

The popular misconception about charity and philanthropy bothers Shapiro. While the former can be a one-time random act, philanthropy is much deeper and long-term.

“Charity generally refers to a kind of spontaneous act, out of com­passion for a person—like there’s been an earthquake, and you give money. Everybody steps in. Or you give to a beggar. It’s generally on a one-off basis,” she says. “Philan­thropy is more systematic. We are trying to bring about system change instead of a one-off reaction. So philanthropy is a more strategic way to help others.”

The CAPS has an impressive gov­erning body headed by Ronnie C. Chan, a noted business leader of Hong Kong. Chairman of Tata Trusts India Ratan Tata sits on the advisory board along with Nirvana Chaud­hary, Nepal’s youth business icon. Shapiro, a Stanford PhD and Har­vard postgraduate, left her prom­ising professional career to help businesses engage in philanthropic work in Asia.

“It’s in nobody’s interest to live in a community where there’s hunger, sickness, and illiteracy. You are in a win-win if you help the society,” says Shapiro. “To the extent that you’re helping people by providing better healthcare, better water, and educa­tion system, it helps you back on the fronts of your customers, employees and so on.”

 I am not here to talk about divorce between a husband and a wife or between part­ners, but our divorce with ourselves. Divorce means the end of association. It involves parting away and distancing from people and situations. We may or may not have done that with our partners, but most of us do that with ourselves most of the time. Once a saint went to meet a disciple. The disciple’s daughter said her father was out at the cobbler’s to mend shoes. But the saint could hear the sound of a bell ringing and smell the aro­ma of incense sticks. After a while the disciple came out of a room and said, "My daughter lied to you, I was doing puja."

The saint said, “No, your daughter said the right thing. You were not in the house when I came.”

Actually, inside the puja room, the father’s mind had wandered off and he was thinking about going to the cobbler’s to get his shoes mended. His body was there and his hands were ringing the bell. But his mind was not there. Both the daugh­ter and the saint could read his mind from distance. His mind and body were not together. So, the disciple was not fully there.

This is the story for most of us most of the time. Our body is at one place, it is doing one thing, and the mind is someplace else. They are sep­arated and disjointed. They are divorced.

Why are we not in unity with ourselves? Why are we fragmented? Where is the harmony? Perhaps we have never thought about it.

When things fall in place and when they sync, we call it harmony. But our mind and body are not in harmony. We all talk about coherence and integrity in life. As body and mind together constitute our life, they must have a coher­ent relationship. But that is not the case, and we are not aware of it.

If body is the vehicle, mind is the driver. For the drive to be smooth and safe, the driv­er needs to know about the vehicle and be in tune with it when driving. If the driver does one thing and the vehi­cle another, then an accident is bound to happen.

If we equate the act of driving with the act of liv­ing, then the lack of concord between the vehicle and the driver—the body and the mind—is sure to put us in trouble. This trouble comes either in the form of bodily or mental suffering.

The Indian yogic science is the science of living in harmony. The practice of physical postures of yoga is about bringing the mind and body together. In the Chinese tradition, there are centuries-old practices of tai chi and qigong to establish that harmony.

These elaborate practices may require some time to learn. We can start by bring­ing our minds to the thing our body is doing, and converse­ly telling our bodies to go with what the mind is doing. When we start aligning our thoughts and actions thus, we start on the path of living with ease.