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Depression and, by extension, mental illnesses have been discussed quite a lot in recent years, with many Bollywood celebrities (cue in Deepika Padukone) talking about their experiences and/or supporting different causes related to it. In Nepal too, it wouldn’t be wrong to say there is a lot more awareness about mental health and the importance of a healthy mind now than ever before, though we are still far from normalizing mental health issues. Shaheen Bhatt’s ‘I’ve Never Been (Un)Happier’ could help us do just that by giving us a clear insight into the mind of someone living with anxiety and depression. 

I’ve Never Been (Un)Happier is a candid account of the author’s traumatic emotional experiences and battles with a mental condition that feels debilitating. Shaheen was diagnosed with depression when she was 18 when she had already been living with it for five years. Till then, she didn’t have a name for why she felt so sad and hollow most of the time, despite not having any reason for it.

As filmmaker Mahesh Bhatt’s daughter, one would think her fairly privileged lifestyle would warrant a happy life. But Shaheen says her pain doesn’t come to her because of her lifestyle and neither is it taken away because of it.

Yes, growing up, she had a comfortable life (though not a lavish one as most would believe because “filmmakers in the 90s didn’t exactly break the bank”). Financial security meant she could seek the support she needed. But her family background came with its own pressures. She was surrounded by famous, successful, and ambitious people but on some days her ambition would simply be to get herself to leave her bedroom.

Shaheen hasn’t sugarcoated or downplayed anything and the brutal honesty with which she writes makes the book unputdownable. What I especially liked about the book is how easy it is to read, and thus grasp. Shaheen doesn’t beat about the bush or make excuses for her behavior. Her “it is what it is” attitude helps you connect with the author and feel for her, even if you haven’t been through similar experiences.

Time and again, Shaheen shows you other vulnerable sides to her—being unable to attend classes, her relationship with food and the subsequent weight gain, and comparing herself to her older half-sibling Pooja—who was working in films when Shaheen was growing up—as well as her younger sister, Alia—who, she says, was effortlessly charming even as a child. There are also instances when you feel she is having an intimate conversation with you. You can relate to many of her experiences and Shaheen becomes a friend you have always secretly wished for.

I would highly recommend this slim book because it has the power to bring about some much-needed change in perspective on depression and mental health.

Non-fiction

I’ve Never Been (Un)Happier

Shaheen Bhatt

Published: 2019

Publisher: Penguin Random House India

Language: English

Pages: 165, Paperback

Recently, on a cold weekday afternoon, I was browsing through the children’s section at Ekta Books in Thapathali, Kathmandu. I wanted a pick-me-up as the weather had been dreary for a while, leaving me lethargic and a little upset. A good book ought to solve the problem, I thought. Only this time I wanted something fun and heartwarming, and where better to look than children’s literature!

I picked up ‘The One and Only Ivan’ by Katherine Applegate on a staff’s recommendation. She said it’s been selling well and is also apparently on a school syllabus in Nepal.

The One and Only Ivan is a tale of love and friendship that revolves around a silverback gorilla named Ivan. He has been living in a cage, which he calls domain, for years at the Big Top Circus Mall and knows nothing of the real world. His world is all that he can see through his cage-bars.

However, Ivan, not knowing another way of life, is content. He eats all he wants, and enjoys painting, which sells at the gift store for “$20, $25 with a frame’. He loves Stella, a rescued circus elephant, and Bob, the dog, who sleeps on his tummy. Then Mack, the mall operator, brings in Ruby, a baby elephant. She was taken from her family and isn’t used to a confined life. It is Ruby who makes Ivan realize there’s an entirely different world out there and they aren’t meant to be where they are.

Applegate’s incredible story is inspired by a real-life gorilla named Ivan who lives in Zoo Atlanta. He spent almost three decades at a circus-themed mall in Washington state after being captured as an infant in the Democratic Republic of Congo. He enjoys a celebrity status at the zoo where he is known for his paintings that are “signed” with his thumbprint.

The book is airy, comprised of short sentences, paragraphs, and chapters. The prose is often poetry-like with Ivan making fun observations about human nature. “Humans speak too much. They chatter like chimps, crowding the world with their noise even when they have nothing to say.” The story is a bit slow and sad at times but you feel an instant connection with Ivan and thus don’t want to put the book down.

The One and Only Ivan is a good book to introduce young adults to animal rights. It can also make them empathetic towards others. But above all, it will lift their spirits and make them smile.

About the author

Katherine Applegate is an American young adult and children’s fiction writer who mostly writes science fiction, fantasy, and adventure novels. She is known for her book series namely Animorphs, Remnants, and Everworld. She also wrote the acclaimed chapter book series called Roscoe Riley Rules. The One and Only Ivan won the 2013 Newbery Medal.

Children’s literature

The One and Only Ivan

Katherine Applegate

Published: 2012

Publisher: Harper Collins Children’s Books

Language: English

Pages: 256, Paperback

The bestselling author of ‘The Joy Luck Club’ and ‘The Valley of Amazement’, Amy Tan, recounts her turbulent relationship with her mother, Daisy Li, and revisits traumatic childhood memories—her mother’s mood swings and frequent breakdowns, the death of her older brother, Peter, followed by the death of her father—in her memoir ‘Where the Past Begins’.

I love Amy Tan. I feel she’s one of the finest writers we have today. Her prose is smooth and reading is thus effortless. Even though I might not have liked where a certain story was headed, I’ve always been in love with her writing. ‘The Kitchen God’s Wife’ and ‘The Bonesetter’s Daughter’ are two of my all-time favorite books. (Here, I must confess I have quite a long list of favorites.)

I always found myself wondering about Tan and her upbringing and conditioning while reading her books. What experiences enable her to write so extensively and imaginatively about women? How does she set a scene? And, most importantly, why does she feel the need to write? I was hoping I would find these answers when I came across her memoir. I wasn’t disappointed.

The book starts with a series of exchanges between Tan and her editor, Daniel Halpern, and moves on to her family’s immigrant story, with mentions of her half-sisters in China and her grandmother, before she takes up imagination and how she finally took the writer’s path. Though hers wasn’t a conventional career choice for a child of immigrants (her parents, who migrated to the United States from China, wanted her to be a neurosurgeon), she is glad she was able to fulfil her parent’s dream—she bought her mother her own house.

Besides insights about the writing process, Tan gives you glimpses into the life of a professional writer. You would be surprised to know that even for a successful author like Tan “each successive book is increasingly difficult to write”. She also writes about the inspiration for her characters and stories of The Joy Luck Club and The Valley of Amazement. These bits give you a deeper understanding of how a writer’s mind works and leave you inspired.

At the beginning of the book, Tan confesses she did not want to write a memoir but Halpern thought it would be a good idea. So he urged her to write non-fiction pieces on her creative process. They made a deal—Tan was to send him a minimum of 15 pages a week. Tan started digging through old photos and documents and this unleashed something in her. She began writing about her childhood experiences and of those recurring moments of self-doubt while working on a novel. The memoir is a compilation of the pages Tan sent to Halpern, which is why there are occasional glitches. But the writing is raw and candid and you can’t help fall in love with Tan once again.

Memoir

Where the Past Begins

Amy Tan

Published: 2017

Publisher: 4th Estate

Language: English

Pages: 357, Paperback

‘Intimacy’ by Hanif Kureishi is one of my most favored novels. I have picked it up so many times, I have lost count—it’s my go-to book in-between reads. I have also read many of Kureishi’s short stories and I must confess I’m a little in love with his writing.

Kureishi mostly writes about love and marriage, or rather the unraveling of one. He is cynical about relationships and that’s evident in all his stories. That cynicism is what gives them that melancholic undertone that is trademark Kureishi.

I also like his characters because they feel very familiar—they are frustrated, angry, confused, and what they are capable of depends on their circumstances. Reading the stories, you realize your flaws are what make you human and unique. And you are grateful to Kureishi for that.

So, naturally, I was ecstatic when I came across an anthology, ‘Midnight all Day’, on a recent horde-for-another-lockdown visit to Ekta Books in Thapathali, Kathmandu.

Sadly, Midnight all Day didn’t live up to my expectations. I would still give it three out of five stars but I know, deep down, that’s because I’m biased towards Kureishi. I have been more brutal in my ratings for fewer reasons in the past.

The anthology has 10 stories. Except the final one, which I found weird but intriguing, all the other stories feel half-baked and forced. Many reminded me of the plot of Intimacy—they explore the psyche behind leaving your partner—but unlike in Intimacy, you simply can’t connect with the characters or relate to their circumstances.

In ‘Strangers When We Meet’, a young actor is supposed to go on a holiday with his older married mistress, Florence. But her husband decides to accompany her on the trip and ruins their plans. In ‘That Was Then, Nick’, a married writer, meets his former lover, Natasha, and goes back to her flat. He does this while his wife is away for the day and manages to get back home just in time to make dinner. In ‘Four Blue Chairs’, a man and a woman who left their partners for each other host their first dinner as a couple.

I had major problems with the narratives. I wouldn’t call myself a feminist but I was disappointed that Kureishi chose to write about men who have left their wives for younger women but none of the stories give the women’s side. Also, in one story, a man forces his way into his ex-wife’s house when she doesn’t lend him an umbrella. The woman, in return, punches him on the face and it’s almost like Kureishi is trying to imply that both their actions were justified.

Midnight all Day is definitely not Kureishi at his best.

Fiction/Short Stories

Midnight all Day

Hanif Kureishi

Published: 1999

Publisher: Faber and Faber Ltd

Language: English

Pages: 217, Paperback

Last year a friend gave me ‘Roar’ by Cecelia Ahern, a collection of 30 stories. I only got around to it this year, and that too because of the lockdown. I probably wouldn’t have picked it up if I could have gotten my hands on some of the titles I’d been meaning to read. But Roar had me hooked from the start. I couldn’t believe this gem of a book had been sitting on my bookshelf for so long and I had always overlooked it. 

I actually didn’t have high expectations from Roar as I wasn’t particularly fond of Ahern’s bestselling ‘PS I Love You’. The anthology has, however, managed to put Ahern on my list of favorite storytellers. Roar was great fun and I found myself smiling—often ear to ear—while reading the stories.

The highly imaginative stories—with touches of magical realism or science fiction—are uplifting and insightful. You can see yourself, or women in your lives, in these stories. Ahern’s writing might not be beautiful but it’s empathetic and relatable.

‘The Women Who Wore Pink’ lives in a dystopian world where there are strict gender codes. ‘The Woman Who Grew Wings’ struggles to fit in when she moves to America with her family. ‘The Woman Who Ordered the Seabass Special’ teaches a lisping waitress to embrace her flaws. ‘The Women Who Slowly Disappeared’ goes to South Africa to meet a woman consultant who treats unseen middle-aged women. ‘The Woman Who Was Kept on a Shelf’ sits next to her husband’s trophies, first being admired and eventually ignored over the years of her marriage. The ‘Woman Who Had a Ticking Clock’ is concerned about her biological clock and it stresses her out unnecessarily.

The premises of Ahern’s stories are simple but they leave a lasting impact. Based on women’s experiences that are rarely discussed, each story has a moral. But what you take away from a story could be very different from what another person might glean from it. A lot of how you perceive a story depends on your unique circumstances and how you view the world and those around you.

I read the book in one go but that’s not what I would recommend you do. It’s best to read these fables one or two at a time. That way you can better enjoy the stories as well as let the messages sink in.

Fiction/Short Stories

Roar

Cecelia Ahern

Published: 2018

Publisher: Harper Collins

Language: English

Pages: 337, Paperback

Laura Cavendish can’t wait to meet the girl her son, Daniel, seems to be smitten with. She wishes the two of them would be great friends, hoping this girl will be some sort of replacement for the daughter she had lost. But, when they finally meet, there’s something off about Cherry that makes Laura uneasy. Laura also suspects Cherry is not as great as her son thinks she is, and that Cherry is pretending to be someone she is not.

To make matters worse, there is a certain possessiveness in the way Cherry holds Daniel and caresses him—it’s almost like she’s telling Laura to back off. Then Laura catches her lying about little things, taking money from Daniel, and borrowing his car. It seems she is also trying to drive a wedge between mother and son. But nothing she says can make Daniel change his mind. He loves Cherry and Laura, he thinks, is just being paranoid.

But is she? Or is there really something sinister about Cherry?

The story is predictable but you want to know what Cherry or Laura will do next and thus it keeps you hooked. Stories and dramas of rivalry between mothers- and (potential) daughters-in-law are nothing new but Michelle Frances’ debut novel, ‘The Girlfriend’ takes it up a notch. Both women are ruthless and there’s no telling what they are prepared to do to get their way.

What I also liked about the story is how emotionally charged it is—there’s the rift between Laura and her husband, Howard, the love between a mother and son, how we tend to take our friends for granted, and people’s need to be understood and accepted. You feel all sorts of emotions—jealousy, rage, concern, hurt—well up as you turn the pages.

Though the plot is fairly simple and straightforward, there are quite a few twists and turns to make Frances’ debut novel a gripping read. There isn’t much I can say about the book without giving the story away. But I can tell you that The Girlfriend was one of the most enjoyable domestic dramas I have read. Though it has been marketed as a psychological thriller, there isn’t much of the thrill element in the traditional sense. However, there is enough tension and suspense to keep the story fast-paced and so at no point do you get bored.

Fiction

The Girlfriend

Michelle Frances

Published: 2017

Publisher: Pan Books

Language: English

Pages: 454, Paperback

“Convenience Store Woman” is a short book but the deadpan tone of Sayaka Murata didn’t let me read it in one sitting. I had to put it aside and contemplate on what was happening to understand the protagonists’ emotions or lack thereof. It’s a book that makes you think—about the mundane things in life, and how they all connect to the bigger picture.

Keiko Furukawa has always known that people find her strange. When she was in school, she saw a dead bird, and wanted to take it home to grill it for her father. She ended a fight between two boys by hitting one on the head with a spade, and “calmed” a hysterical teacher by pulling down her skirt to shock her. As an adult, Keiko isn’t very different. She still thinks most problems can be solved by hitting people with shovels. When her sister’s baby wails, she eyes a small knife thinking it could help.

She doesn’t realize why these kinds of thoughts and actions make her different though. Keiko thinks she is doing what the situation demands, and opting for the simplest solution. But people don’t understand her ways, they never did. And so now as a 36-year-old, Keiko keeps to herself.

The normalcy of routine work, without creativity, at the convenience store makes her feel like a functioning cog in society. She loves her job and takes it seriously. But her family and colleagues find it weird that she has had the same job for years and her career doesn’t seem headed anywhere.

There are bits that are weird and you have to struggle to make sense of them, but Keiko is a fascinating character. And it’s fun to try and see things through her eyes—it’s a completely different perspective altogether. There are some laugh-out-loud moments because of how Keiko views the world and deals with people around her—she gives ‘feed’ not ‘food’ to a guy living with her as if he were a pet.

Convenience Store Woman is a simple story of one woman’s quest to make sense of this chaotic world. From the first sentence of the book—‘A convenience store is a world of sounds’—you can hear, feel and see everything that’s happening.

Murata spent 18 years working part-time in convenience stores before the success of Convenience Store Woman finally allowed her to quit for good and write full-time. The book is Murata’s 10th novel but the first to be translated into English. It has sold more than a million copies in Japan and is being translated into 23 languages worldwide.

Fiction

Convenience Store Woman

Sayaka Murata

Translated to English by Ginny Tapley Takemori

Published: 2016 (Japanese) 2018 (English)

Publisher: Granta Publications

Pages: 163, Paperback

My reader friends have really good things to say about Elif Shafak, particularly ‘The Bastard of Istanbul’ and ‘The Forty Rules of Love’. But I didn’t like either of those books much. I found them a bit slow and they spun around in circles without the stories going anywhere for the most part.

I picked up ‘Three Daughters of Eve’ as I wanted to give Shafak another chance, for the sake of one of my closest friends who absolutely adores her.

I wouldn’t say Three Daughters of Eve is great. It takes time to build up and there are clichés that make you cringe. But the inner turmoil of the main character where faith and religion are concerned is palpable and the novel has conversations and contemplations on god that make it a riveting read. Shafak’s writing has also become much more nuanced than before.

The book starts with the mugging and attempted assault of a wealthy Turkish woman, Nazperi Nalbantoğlu, or Peri for short, on her way to a fancy dinner party. This incident leads her to think back about her life—growing up in Istanbul and then moving to Oxford University for higher education, her friendship with two Muslim women, and a scandal that changes everything.  

Narrated in two timelines—the present day (which is 2016) and 1990s/early 2000s, the story moves seamlessly between the chaotic and complicated Istanbul and the contrastingly calm Oxford. The novel also has Shafak’s trademark touches of magical realism—Peri experiences visions of a baby in a mist that is both comforting and unsettling. I have to say Shafak is skilled at alternating between timelines and infusing a bit of surrealism into everyday life.

The blurb says it’s a story about three friends—Peri, Mona, and Shirin—but it’s actually mostly about Peri. There’s very little about Mona or Shirin, with the former making fleeting appearances. I wish Shafak had focused a bit more on Shirin because I liked the unapologetic, fierce, and rebellious Shirin I got a glimpse of and felt her story could have been more interesting than Peri’s.

As for Peri, she has had a troubled childhood, having been torn between her mother’s and her father’s versions of religion. Her mother was a devoted Muslim and her father was always questioning the idea and existence of god, and thus getting into heated arguments with his wife. Peri never knew just what to believe in and the confusion follows her well into adulthood. It is this figuring out what or who god is and eventually coming into her own that is the theme of Three Daughters of Eve.

The verdict: The book deserves a read as it makes you think and rethink about your faith. It could have been better. For me, the ending was a little off. But it’s not bad. I would definitely recommend it, especially to those who have always been undecided about god and wanting to make up their minds.

Fiction

Three Daughters of Eve

Elif Shafak

Published: 2016

Publisher: Penguin Random House UK

Language: English

Pages: 367, Paperback