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I’m a 45-year-old woman who has a teenage daughter. She is 14. I’m finding it difficult to relate to and understand her. I have told her to share her problems with me and she seems to trust me enough to confide her secrets. But I find myself getting angry. I realize that’s not the right response but her ‘boy troubles’ and peer pressure issues make me want to punish her. How do I discipline my child and make sure she doesn’t become rebellious and pick up bad habits?  

Answered by Kapil Sharma, counseling psychologist, Nepal Institute of Mental Health 

Every mother wants nothing but the best for her child. It’s natural to feel frustrated with children for their recklessness at times, but punishing them might not be the most effective approach, as you seem to be aware. Yet the way you are feeling now might be due to anger issues with your daughter’s transition, disciplinary concerns, expectations you have for your daughter or your own personal struggle.

When things don’t go as planned, parents-adolescent conflict is fairly common, creating emotional irritation, rage, and concern. Also, because your daughter is just 14, she is in the process of transitioning from childhood to adolescence. You can start by educating yourself on adolescent issues so that you can help your child deal with them.

You’ve stated that you want your daughter to confide in you, and it’s wonderful that she does. It’s great that you want an open relationship for a safe and secure environment for her. But the main issue is that you lose your temper easily. Rather than interrupting, consider active listening. You can try to wait until she finishes her narrative before speaking. If you feel dissatisfied after hearing what she has to say, try asking open-ended questions to convince her to reflect on her thoughts and actions. She might have her own conclusion or way out about the issue. Also you can reflect on what you would expect from your mother if you were in your daughter’s place. This may change your perspective as well.

Try empathetic communication as that might help you deal with her rebellion. Instead of  restricting your daughter from doing things, try to make her feel at ease by validating her feelings. Also, learn to resolve your own anger issues first. To begin with, reflect on your personal life including your expectations and stress.  Try fixing them  through conflict resolution and problem solving skills. But even after this, if you still feel confused, I recommend you attend a therapy session.

Dr Sunoor Verma is a Global Development Strategist and Leadership Communication Expert. In this interview to News Agency Nepal taken after Dr Verma’s participation in the Kigali Global Dialogue, he explores developmental experiences of Rwanda and their applicability to countries such as Nepal. Excerpts:

You were recently invited to speak at the Kigali Global Dialogue. Please explain your personal experience and impressions of participating in this unique event in Rwanda.

The Kigali Global Dialogue is a truly unique platform for debate that is convened by two highly credible organizations, the Observer Research Foundation, India and the Rwanda Governance Board, and it brings together a diverse range of voices from developing countries. This dialogue is known for ensuring a significant presence of women speakers, which is not always the case at international events.

Another thing that makes the Kigali Global Dialogue special is that it’s held in Rwanda, one of Africa’s fastest-growing economies. It’s an inspiring place to be, giving us a glimpse of what’s possible for developing countries.

The topics discussed at the Kigali Global Dialogue are also very bold. They don’t shy away from complex issues; participants can express their views without worrying about pleasing donors or funding sources. This makes for a candid exchange of ideas essential for developing countries.

The Kigali Global Dialogue is an invaluable platform for developing countries to come together, discuss critical issues, and learn from each other’s experiences. I'm grateful for the opportunity to participate in this year’s event, and I look forward to returning.

Can you share some insights that you gained from your participation in the dialogue?

One of the most significant insights I gained from the dialogue was the continued relevance of dialogue between developing countries. Too often, the conversation about development is dominated by developed countries, who may not always understand the unique challenges and opportunities facing developing countries. 

The Kigali Global Dialogue was a refreshing change of pace, as it was a platform for developing countries to come together and share their experiences. This was incredibly valuable; we could learn from each other and build relationships. Another insight I gained was the importance of regional alliances and issue-based alliances. In today’s world, it is no longer enough to simply focus on national development. We need to work with our neighbors and countries facing similar challenges. This is the only way to achieve sustainable development. 

The Kigali Global Dialogue was a wake-up call for many. It is a sobering reminder that developing countries have the power to shape their destiny. We must continue coming together, sharing our experiences, and building alliances. Together, we can create a better future for all as long as there are credible hosts, such as the Observer Research Foundation and the Rwanda Governance Board, whose intentions are trusted.

What do you believe are the key factors that enabled Rwanda’s transition and how can other countries with a similar situation, similar socio-economic problems can learn from Rwanda’s experience?

Rwanda’s transition from a country torn by violence and ethnicity to embracing unity is remarkable. It is a story of how a country can overcome a complicated past and build a brighter future. Many factors have contributed to Rwanda's success, but the most important ones are leadership, Reconciliation and gender equality.

Leadership is essential for any country that wants to achieve its goals. President Paul Kagame has understood the importance of Reconciliation in Rwanda and has taken steps to promote it. He has also committed to gender equality, and women now play a leading role in all aspects of Rwandan society.

Reconciliation is another essential ingredient for peace and unity. Rwanda has taken several steps to promote Reconciliation, including creating a system of local courts and local bodies to help people reconcile with each other. The country has also integrated the issue of Reconciliation into its school curriculums.

Gender equality is also essential for peace and unity. When women are empowered, they are more likely to be involved in decision-making and promote peace. Rwanda has made significant progress in gender equality; women now comprise more than half of the parliament.

Reconciliation is a difficult process, but it is critical in countries that have suffered genocide or other mass tragedies. It is the only way to fully move past the past and create a better future for everyone. Reconciliation does not imply ignoring the past. It is about remembering the past in order to create a better future. It is about acknowledging the grief and suffering inflicted and working together to find a way forward. It is a matter of forgiveness, not forgetting. It is about justice, but not about vengeance. It is a process of healing, not forgetting.

Rwanda has focused a lot on agricultural development to progress since the genocide. Nepal is also an agro-based country, so what methods used by the people of Rwanda can be applicable for Nepal to develop agriculturally?

Rwanda is a remarkable example of a country that has transformed itself from a low-income, post-conflict country to a high-performing economy in just two decades. One of the key drivers of this transformation has been Rwanda's focus on agricultural development.

Rwanda has invested heavily in agriculture, both in terms of infrastructure and technology. The country has built a network of irrigation canals and dams and introduced new technologies such as drip irrigation and solar-powered pumps. This has helped to increase agricultural productivity and reduce vulnerability to drought. Rwanda has also invested in agricultural research and development. The country has established several agricultural research centers and partnered with international organizations such as the International Maize and Wheat Improvement Center (CIMMYT) to develop new varieties of crops resistant to pests and diseases.

In addition to infrastructure and technology, Rwanda has also focused on good governance and gender equity in agriculture. The government has put in place many policies to promote women’s participation in agriculture and has also made efforts to reduce corruption in the agricultural sector.

As a result of these investments, Rwanda has achieved significant progress in agricultural development. The country's agricultural output has doubled in the past two decades, and poverty has been reduced by half.

Nepal can learn a great deal from Rwanda's experience in agricultural development. Nepal is also agro-based, facing many of the same challenges as Rwanda. However, Nepal has the potential to achieve similar results if it invests in infrastructure, technology, good governance, and gender equity in agriculture. I am confident that Nepal can follow in Rwanda's footsteps and transform into a high-performing economy. It is only a matter of commitment and determination.

What aspects of Rwanda’s governance leadership and policies can benefit countries like Nepal facing similar political changes?

I have been impressed by Rwanda's progress in recent years, and I believe that the country has much to offer other developing countries facing similar political changes.

One of the most striking things about Rwanda is its political vision. The government has a clear and long-term plan for the country and has been able to implement this plan effectively. This is in contrast to many other developing countries, which often have frequent changes of government and lack a clear vision for the future.

Another critical aspect of Rwanda’s governance is its political stewardship. The government has channeled international support and technical assistance in a way that has benefited the country as a whole. This contrasts with many other developing countries, where international aid is often fragmented and does not reach the people who need it most.

Finally, Rwanda has made significant progress in gender equality. This contrasts with many other developing countries, where women, including Nepal, are still underrepresented in decision-making roles.

I believe these three aspects of Rwanda’s governance can benefit other developing countries facing similar political changes. If these countries can create a clear vision for the future, channel international support effectively, and promote gender equality, they can achieve significant progress in their development.

I am particularly passionate about the issue of gender equality. I believe that when women are empowered, they can make a real difference in the development of their countries. Rwanda is an excellent example of a country that has benefited from gender equality. I hope other developing countries will follow Rwanda’s example and allow women to lead their societies.

As you said before, Rwanda has garnered a lot of tourist attention. What can Neal learn from Rwanda for tourism development?

Nepal is a beautiful country with a lot to offer tourists, but it has not been as successful as Rwanda in attracting tourists. If we analyze how Rwanda has achieved this feat of attracting high-value, high, spending tourists, we will find that the answers lie in good governance, branding, and infrastructure. Rwanda has a reputation for being a well-governed country with low levels of corruption. This is important for tourism, as tourists want to feel safe and secure when they travel. Lesson number one- Corruption deters high-spending tourists from visiting a country. 

Likewise, Rwanda has done an outstanding job branding itself as a tourist destination. The country is known for its gorillas, beautiful scenery, and friendly people. Rwanda has invested heavily in infrastructure, such as roads, airports, and hotels. This makes it easy for tourists to get around the country and enjoy their visit. 

In addition to these three areas, Nepal can also improve its tourism sector by addressing  gender equality, focusing on tourism education and promoting sustainable tourism. I believe that Nepal has the potential to become a significant tourist destination. However, it needs to address its challenges to realize its full potential.

With news of Nepal Rastra Bank (NRB) lifting the Rs 120m cap on margin lending doing the rounds, the stock market saw a 44.34-point surge on Thursday.

Investors are expecting a relaxation of the margin lending provision by the central bank after the meeting of the financial sector high-level coordination committee on Tuesday.

The daily turnover at the Nepal Stock Exchange (Nepse) also rose to almost two months high with total turnover reaching Rs 3.29bn on Thursday. 

Along with the daily turnover, the Nepse also saw a surge in volume. The number of shares traded also hit a two-month high. A total of 11.26m units of shares were traded on Thursday. The last time, the volume was higher than that of Thursday, was on July 24 when 20.97m shares were traded. 

The domestic stock market has been on a downward spiral after the central bank unveiled a new monetary policy in the last week of July, with the Nepse index down by more than 190 points. 

Of late, the central bank is under tremendous pressure on the NRB to lift the Rs 120m cap. The private sector, stock investors, and Finance Minister Prakash Sharan Mahat himself have been urging Governor Maha Prasad Adhikari to review margin lending provisions. Finance Minister Mahat, during Tuesday’s meeting, asked Governor Adhikari to facilitate the stock market to increase economic activities. 

Finance Minister Mahat and Governor Adhikari had also met on Monday in which discussion was centered on adopting some flexibility in monetary policy to increase economic activities.

While the stock investors were hoping that the central bank through monetary policy 2023/24 would relax the margin lending provisions, the central bank only reduced the risk weightage on margin loans. That too for marginal loans up to Rs 5m only. The NRB reduced the risk weightage of margin loans up to Rs 5m from 150 percent to 100 percent. However, the risk weightage of margin loans above Rs 5m remained untouched by the NRB. 

Kathak is a form of classical dance. The word is derived from the Sanskrit word Katha which means story and Kathakar which means the storyteller. The dancers tell stories through hand movements, footwork, body flexibility, and facial expressions. It’s largely a performance that has thrived because of oral traditions, passed down from one generation to the next through practice. 

Namrata KC, who runs Aesthetic Dance Studio, is a professional dance instructor. She finds Kathak to be soothing and therapeutic. KC spoke to Babita Shrestha from ApEx to learn more about this intriguing dance form. 

What is Kathak?

Kathak is a classical dance that is performed in the form of a story. In Kathak, there are three basics, Nritta, Nritya, and Natya. You can find rhythmic footwork called ‘tatkar’, hand motions called ‘mudras’, facial expressions, spinning, storytelling, and a lot more. Nritta is just the presentation of graceful bodily movements such as mudras, tatkars, and other body bends while nritya is about emotions and facial expressions. Similarly, natya is primarily about concept and storytelling.

Does Kathak have different levels?

With practice, the structure and level of complexity expand. Different schools use different teaching methods. Some schools hold classes for three months and eventually, hourly lessons practicing nritta, nritya, and natya. You will be taught body motions, posture, and the basic idea of tatkars and mudras at the beginner's level. As you learn, you will be able to perform intermediate-level facial expressions and other complex bodily actions. At the advanced level, you can practice spins or ‘chakkar’, rhythmic cycles known as ‘taal’, storytelling, and character portrayal.

How can dancers maintain balance and proper posture during complex Kathak movements?

The most important technique in classical dancing is practice. You will develop your individual styles as you practice. Everyone learns at a different pace so you should avoid comparing yourself to others. Learning any dance form is about being persistent and committed.  If you are learning Kathak, you must focus on developing core strength.  Through workouts such as planks and abdominal exercises, you can strengthen your core. Footwork is a very important component of Kathak. You should improve your ankle strength and work on your foot placement during spins. Good breathing techniques and a fixed gaze known as ‘spotting’ are crucial to prevent body imbalance. Most importantly, you must remember to warm up and stretch to improve your flexibility and posture. Use affirmative prayers and manifestation before dancing so that you can begin by absorbing positive energy from the surroundings. 

How do you develop proficiency in Kathak?

Taal plays an important role in coordinating footwork, handwork, and expression with the beat of music. To excel, you must first master the various taals by use of claps. Regularly listening to classical music can familiarize you with its variations, which can benefit you during practice. You can improve your performance by seeking professional assistance. You have to first learn the basics and then practice, practice, practice. Ankle bells, also called ‘ghungroo’, can help a lot as they allow you to make music, balance your body, and focus on timings.

Is it difficult to convey expressions effectively through your movements?

Dancers employ expressions, also known as ‘abhinaya’, to convey a message. At first glance, dance and emotion may appear difficult to balance. To make sure the facial expression seems natural and not forced, you must first understand the dance to feel an emotional rush. As an instructor, I can assure you that practice with emotions will indeed help you synchronize expression with bodily movements.

Why should you learn Kathak?

I think of Kathak as a meditative activity that helps in reducing stress. It will improve your mental health. Not only that, it will also keep you physically active. From personal experience, I can say that it makes you interested and enthusiastic about learning and exploring. 

It’s now very simple to find Kathak resources online. However, as an artist, I urge that you begin your practice with a professional instructor. For example, if you’re learning at home using a video streaming platform, improper form could result in injuries and other issues. Furthermore, digital sources might not provide you with a thorough understanding of the intricate dance form. But once you’ve mastered the fundamentals, you can take references from the internet and learn on your own. 

Prime Minister Pushpa Kamal Dahal and US President Joe Biden held a meeting in New York on Friday.

In the brief meeting, they discussed matters of collaboration in mutual interest between the two countries, said PM Dahal's Press Advisor, Govinda Acharya.

US First Lady Jill Tracy Jacobs Biden, and daughter of Prime Minister Dahal, Ganga Dahal, were also present on the occasion.

The Nepali population was the fastest growing Asian group, growing from almost 52,000 people in 2010 to almost 206,000 people in 2020, according to the US Census Bureau. 

More than 5.2m people identified as Chinese, the largest group among respondents who were Asian alone or in combination with another group, according to Census. They were followed by Asian Indians with 4.7m people, Filipinos with 4.4m people and the Vietnamese population at 2.2m people. California was home to the largest share of the six most common Asian groups in the US New York had the second-largest share of Chinese residents, while Texas had the second-largest share of Asian Indian residents.

The United States had 3.5m residents who identify as Middle Eastern or North African, Venezuelans were the fastest-growing Hispanic group last decade and Chinese and Asian Indians were the two largest Asian groups, according to the US Census Bureau.

The most detailed race and ethnicity data to date from the 2020 census was released Thursday more than three years after the once-a-decade head count, which determines political power, the distribution of $2.8trn in annual federal funding and holds up a mirror to how the US has changed in a decade. The delay was caused by the Covid-19 pandemic and the implementation of a new method to protect the confidentiality of participants.

Among the census respondents who identified as white, English was the most common detailed group written down on the form where people were asked to elaborate on their backgrounds, with 46.6m people saying they were English alone or in any combination. They were followed by those identifying as German, with 45m people, and Irish, with 38.6m people. 

With inputs from agencies

The price of gold has dropped by Rs 400 per tola in the domestic market on Friday.

According to the Federation of Nepal Gold and Silver Dealers’ Association, the yellow metal is being traded at Rs 112, 100 per tola today. It was traded at Rs 112, 500 per tola on Thursday.

Meanwhile, tejabi gold is being traded at Rs 111, 550 per tola. It was traded at Rs 111, 950 per tola.

Similarly, the silver is being traded at Rs 1, 425 per tola.

A person died and 10 others were injured in a clash that occurred at Jayandu Juvenile Center at Duduwa Rural Municipality-6 in Banke district.

Superintendent of Police (SP) of Banke Santosh Singh Rathor said that Sulav KC (21)t from Rupandehi died in the clash. KC succumbed to critical head injuries while receiving treatment at the Nepalgunj Medical College. 

Of the injured, four are in critical condition.

Likewise, the reform center was vandalized and set on fire.

At present, police personnel have been mobilized at the inmate center.