Mind Matters | A mother’s concern
Query
I’m a 49-year-old mother and I’m worried about my 15-year-old son. I heard two students committed suicide recently and I’m quite concerned about my son’s mental health. I want him to know that I will be there for him no matter what. I want to assure him that even if he makes a mistake, I will guide him rather than push him away in with anger. But he is very secretive and doesn’t share much with any of us in the family. I have no idea what goes on in his mind and that’s really scary. I feel I should do something to make him feel comfortable enough to talk to me when there is a problem, and try to build a better connection with him. But I don’t know how. Please help.—A worried mother
Answered by Krishangi, psychologist, Happy Minds
Dear worried mother,
Teenage is a phase when children are likely to be a little distant from their family, and it can be concerning to see them that way. Being a teenager is confusing as there will be hormonal and behavioral changes. They will be having a difficult time adjusting to that.
As a mother, I suggest you notice your son’s behavior patterns. For instance, notice if he is constantly on his phone, or irritated when talking to family members. Pay attention to their appearance. If you notice something off, try to confront him but be gentle. You have said that you want him to share things with you and let you know if he makes a mistake and you can only do that by communicating well.
You might not like certain things your children do, and as a parent you can talk through the situation rather than imposing rules and punishments. Try to explain how and why you would like them to do things. Being patient and trying to reason things out are some important aspects of parenting teens.
Children tend to mimic their parents on a subconscious level. When they see that you are calm and respectful towards them, they will also try to be calm and respectful towards you. And that will translate in their behavior with everyone around them as well. In your son’s case, since he must be going through some changes that he doesn’t know how to deal with, asking a male figure to explain what’s happening to him might prove to be helpful.
You need to find an approach that suits you, in order for him to open up. For that, first you might have to create an environment where he feels comfortable enough to share things. One way to get teens to open up can be by showing them that you are interested in things they are interested in—not only in their hobbies and school life but also in their choices and decisions.
Start by asking little things like, “How was your day?”, “Is there anything you want to do on the weekend?”, “How are your friends?”, and “Is there something you want to talk about?”. They might not open up initially but once they see you are trying to make an effort, they will reciprocate.
Doing so will also show them you are approachable and they might eventually come to you for advice as well. Once your children start communicating with you, listen to them as an equal and not as a parent. This will help create a neutral space for them to just be themselves and not feel judged. The focus should be on having constructive conversations with them. That way you will be able to guide them into making the right decisions without seeming like an overbearing parent.
I think what most parents also need to do is hug their children and let them know that they love them every morning before they go to school. Let them feel wanted and valued, and remind them they have a loving home to come back to, no matter what happens in the outside world.
Pakistan floods put pressure on faltering economy
The calls are growing louder. Pakistan desperately needs help after its worst floods in years, and it needs it fast, BBC reported.
"This climate calamity couldn't have come at a worse time, when Pakistan's economy was already struggling with a balance of payments crisis, rising debt, and soaring inflation," Maleeha Lodhi, former Pakistan ambassador to the UN and the UK, told the BBC.
If the country doesn't get debt relief, she added, the economy risks "tanking".
Catastrophic rain linked to climate change has submerged large parts of the country, killing nearly 1,500 people and affecting roughly 33 million people.
Homes, roads, railways, crops, livestock and livelihoods have been washed away in the extreme weather event.
Across the country, an estimated 800,000 cattle - a key source of income for rural families - have been lost in the floods.
Farmers who have not had their crops and livestock washed away are now reportedly running low on feed for their cattle.
There will likely be more pain ahead with a food crisis looming.
Roughly 70% of the onion harvest, along with rice and corn, has been destroyed, according to Pakistan's climate change minister, Sherry Rehman.
Pakistan is the world's fourth largest rice exporter, with markets in Africa and China.
Almost all of Pakistan's households are consumers of wheat, but with so much agricultural land damaged, the wheat harvest could be at risk too.
Food prices are already under pressure because of the post-pandemic supply chain disruption and the war in Ukraine, which is a major global supplier of key crops.
Pakistan's inflation rate was more than 24% before the floods, according to reports, and some costs have climbed by 500%.
Authorities may need to import food to feed people and raw materials for industry, but the country's foreign reserves were running low even before the crisis..
Pakistan is also a producer of cotton, which is used in the country's textile industry - a major employer. Manufacturers are bracing for a shortage of that too, BBC reported.
On Sunday, Pakistan's finance minister Miftah Ismail said the country would "absolutely not" default on its debt payments despite the floods.
Mr Ismail also said that external financing sources had been secured, including more than $4bn (£3.5bn) from the Asian Development Bank, Asian Infrastructure Investment Bank and World Bank.
About $5bn of investments from Qatar, the United Arab Emirates and Saudi Arabia would be made in the current financial year, he added.
At the same time, Pakistan's central bank announced that Saudi Arabia's development authority had extended a deposit of $3bn, which had been due for repayment in December, by one year.
Also on Sunday, the International Monetary Fund (IMF) said it would work with countries around the world international community to support Pakistan's relief and reconstruction efforts.
Last month, an IMF bailout package was approved but conditions were attached, like raising taxes and applying austerity measures.
Andrew Wood, an analyst at S&P Global Ratings, flagged "high inflation, a weaker currency, and tighter fiscal and monetary conditions" as affecting growth in a recent briefing. He added that the agency estimated the government's debt position was around 74% of GDP.
"Financial support from the IMF and other multilateral and bilateral partners is critical, in our view... Structural reforms that support Pakistan's business environment and macroeconomic stability would be important pillars of an enduring economic recovery," Mr Wood said, according to BBC.
The floods were caused by record rainfall during the monsoon season and melting glaciers in the mountains.
The South Asian nation received nearly 190% more rain than the 30-year average, in July and August. The southern province of Sindh received 466% more rain than average.
When UN Secretary General António Guterres visited Pakistan last week, he blamed climate change for the disaster and said the country needed massive financial support.
"I have seen many, many humanitarian disasters in the world. But I have never seen climate carnage on this scale. I have simply no words to describe what I have seen today, a flooded area that is three times the total area of my own country, Portugal," Mr Guterres said.
Aid agencies are now assessing the scale of the reconstruction effort, and with entire villages underwater, a public health crisis is inevitable.
Weather officials say more rain is expected in the coming days, putting thousands of displaced people at further risk.
Biden again says US would defend Taiwan if China attacks
US President Joe Biden has again said the US would defend Taiwan in the event of an "unprecedented attack" by China, BBC reported.
Speaking in a CBS interview, Mr Biden replied "Yes" when asked if that meant US forces would defend Taiwan.
The interview aired on Sunday, prompting the White House to reiterate that US policy had not changed.
Washington's policy has always been one of "strategic ambiguity" - it does not commit to defending Taiwan, but also does not rule out the option.
Taiwan is a self-ruled island off the coast of eastern China that Beijing claims as part of its territory. Washington has long walked a diplomatic tightrope over the issue. On the one hand it adheres to the One China policy, a cornerstone of its relationship with Beijing.
Under this policy, Taiwan is a part of China and the position is not challenged. So the US does not recognise it as a separate state and has no diplomatic ties with the island. But it maintains close relations and sells arms to Taiwan under the Taiwan Relations Act, which states that the US must provide the island with the means to defend itself.
Mr Biden reiterated this in the CBS 60 Minutes interview on Sunday, according to BBC.
"There's a One-China policy and Taiwan makes their own judgements on their independence. We are not moving, not encouraging their being independent - that's their decision," he said.
Mr Biden had made similar comments in May, vowing to intervene militarily to defend Taiwan if it was attacked. The White House had quickly followed up by saying there was no departure from America's long-standing policy.
This time too the White House has issued a statement that appears to contradict Mr Biden: "The President has said this before, including in Tokyo earlier this year. He also made clear then that our Taiwan policy hasn't changed. That remains true."
But this is the third time in a year that President Biden has gone further than the official stance in indicating a promise of military action - in October 2021 and then again in May this year.
Earlier this month, the US agreed to sell $1.1bn (£955m) in weaponry and missile defence to Taiwan, provoking anger from China.
Tensions between US and China ramped up after US House Speaker Nancy Pelosi made a controversial visit to the island in August - a trip Mr Biden had said was "not a good idea".
In response, Beijing staged a five-day military blockade around Taiwan. The US claims it shot missiles over the island, but Beijing did not confirm this and Taiwan said the missiles China fired flew high into the atmosphere and posed no threat, BBC reported.
Elsewhere in the pre-recorded interview broadcast on Sunday, Mr Biden warned Russia not to use chemical or tactical nuclear weapons in the war in Ukraine.
Bidens among thousands paying respects to Queen Elizabeth II
US President Joe Biden paid his respects at Queen Elizabeth II’s coffin on Sunday as thousands of police, hundreds of British troops and an army of officials made final preparations for the queen’s state funeral — a spectacular display of national mourning that will also be the biggest gathering of world leaders for years, Associated Press reported.
People across Britain paused for a minute of silence at 8 p.m. in memory of the only monarch most have ever known. At Westminster Hall, where the queen is lying in state, the constant stream of mourners paused for 60 seconds as people observed the minute of reflection in deep silence.
In Windsor, where the queen will be laid to rest on Monday evening after her funeral at Westminster Abbey, rain began to fall as the crowd fell silent for the moment of reflection. Some have set up small camps and chairs outside Windsor Castle, with plans to spend the night there to reserve the best spots to view the queen’s coffin when it arrives. “Well, it’s just one night and day of our lives. Elizabeth gave us – you know – 70 years. So the rest of it is not a lot to ask, is it?” said Fred Sweeney, 52, who kitted out his spot with two Union flags on large flag poles.
Biden and first lady Jill Biden were among thousands of mourners — from locals and tourists to royals and world leaders — to pay their respects. The president made the sign of the cross and put his hand to his heart as he stood quietly near the casket in the ornate 900-year-old hall with his wife and U.S. Ambassador Jane Hartley.
Biden then signed the official condolence book and attended a reception Sunday at Buckingham Palace hosted by King Charles III. He is one of 500 world leaders and royals invited to the queen’s state funeral Monday, along with hundreds of dignitaries, politicians, military veterans and British charity workers.
Biden called Queen Elizabeth II “decent” and “honorable” and “all about service” as he signed the condolence book, saying his heart went out to the royal family.
“Queen Elizabeth lived her life for the people,” Jill Biden wrote in a book for spouses and ambassadors. “She served with wisdom and grace. We will never forget her warmth, kindness and the conversations we shared.”
One no-show will be Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, whose invitation drew criticism from human rights groups because of the killing of journalist Jamal Khashoggi inside the Saudi consulate in Istanbul in 2018. Saudi Arabia is expected to be represented by another royal, Prince Turki bin Mohammed, according to Associated Press.
As the dignitaries poured in, hundreds hoping to view the queen’s coffin prepared to spend the night outside in the longest queue many have ever seen. Authorities closed the miles-long queue late Sunday so that everyone in the line can file past the coffin before Monday morning, when it will be taken to Westminster Abbey for the queen’s funeral.
Family by family, thousands of people kept joining the line around the clock, braving chilly overnight temperatures and waits of up to 17 hours in a queue that stretched for over 5 miles (8 kilometers.)
Lauren Wilson, 36, was in the much-shorter queue for people with mobility issues. She said she wanted to experience in person the coffin lying in state.
“The world is in such a weird place and then this happened. It feels more momentous,” she said.
She worried that the pageantry surrounding Elizabeth’s death deprives the queen’s relatives of the ability to come to terms with their loss.
“The family are not allowed to grieve. I find it quite heartbreaking,” she said.
The queen’s eight grandchildren, led by heir to the throne Prince William, circled the coffin and stood with their heads bowed during a silent vigil on Saturday evening.
Among the foreign leaders in London was New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, who told the BBC she was humbled to represent her nation at the funeral and to witness the national outpouring of grief and respect for the late queen, Associated Press reported.
“The thing that I will take away from this period is just the beauty of the public’s response, the kindness that you see from members of the public, the patience, the camaraderie. That has been, for me, the most moving tribute of all, has been the public response of the British people,” she said.
Monday has been declared a public holiday in honor of Elizabeth, who died Sept. 8 at 96 after 70 years on the throne. Her funeral will be broadcast live to over 200 countries and territories worldwide and screened to crowds in parks and public spaces across the country.
Police officers from around the country will be on duty as part of the biggest one-day policing operation in London’s history.
Camilla, the queen consort, paid tribute to her mother-in-law in a video message, saying the monarch “carved her own role” as a “solitary woman” on a world stage dominated by men.
“I will always remember her smile. That smile is unforgettable,” said Camilla, who is married to Charles.
Ukraine’s first lady, Olena Zelenska, was also among mourners paying respects to the queen’s coffin. British royal officials said Zelenska met with Catherine, the Princess of Wales, at Buckingham Palace on Sunday afternoon. They did not release further details. The British government has been among the strongest supporters of Ukraine since it was invaded by Russia in February, according to Associated Press.
Hurricane Fiona rips through powerless Puerto Rico
Hurricane Fiona struck Puerto Rico’s southwest coast on Sunday as it unleashed landslides, knocked the power grid out and ripped up asphalt from roads and flung the pieces around, Associated Press reported.
Hundreds of people were evacuated or rescued across the island as floodwaters rose swiftly. Rushing rivers of brown water enveloped cars, first floors and even an airport runway in the island’s southern region.
Forecasters said the storm threatened to dump “historic” levels of rain on Sunday and Monday, with up to 30 inches (76 centimeters) possible in eastern and southern Puerto Rico.
“The damages that we are seeing are catastrophic,” said Gov. Pedro Pierluisi.
The storm washed away a bridge in the central mountain town of Utuado that police say was installed by the National Guard after Hurricane Maria hit in 2017. Large landslides also were reported, with water rushing down big slabs of broken asphalt and into gullies.
Fiona was centered 50 miles (85 kilometers) southeast of Punta Cana, Dominican Republic with maximum sustained winds of 85 mph (140 kph) on Sunday night, according to the U.S. National Hurricane Center. It was moving to the northwest at 9 mph (15 kph).
Fiona struck on the anniversary of Hurricane Hugo, which hit Puerto Rico 33 years ago as a Category 3 storm, according to Associated Press.
The storm’s clouds covered the entire island and tropical storm-force winds extended as far as 140 miles (220 kilometers) from Fiona’s center.
U.S. President Joe Biden declared a state of emergency in the U.S. territory as the eye of the storm approached the island’s southwest corner.
Luma, the company that operates power transmission and distribution, said bad weather, including winds of 80 mph, had disrupted transmission lines, leading to “a blackout on all the island.”
“Current weather conditions are extremely dangerous and are hindering out capacity to evaluate the complete situation,” it said, adding that it could take several days to fully restore power.
Health centers were running on generators — and some of those had failed. Health Secretary Carlos Mellado said crews rushed to repair generators at the Comprehensive Cancer Center, where several patients had to be evacuated.
Fiona hit just two days before the anniversary of Hurricane Maria, a devastating Category 4 storm that struck on Sept. 20, 2017, destroying the island’s power grid and causing nearly 3,000 deaths.
More than 3,000 homes still have only a blue tarp as a roof, and infrastructure remains weak, including the power grid. Outages remain common, and reconstruction started only recently, Associated Press reported.
“I think all of us Puerto Ricans who lived through Maria have that post-traumatic stress of, ‘What is going to happen, how long is it going to last and what needs might we face?’” said Danny Hernández, who works in the capital of San Juan but planned to weather the storm with his parents and family in the western town of Mayaguez.
He said the atmosphere was gloomy at the supermarket as he and others stocked up before the storm hit.
“After Maria, we all experienced scarcity to some extent,” he said.
The storm was forecast to pummel cities and towns along Puerto Rico’s southern coast that have not yet fully recovered from a string of strong earthquakes starting in late 2019.
More than 1,000 people with some 80 pets had sought shelter across the island by Sunday night, the majority of them in the southern coast, according to Associated Press.
Perseverance: Nasa Mars rover collects 'amazing' rock samples
The US space agency's Perseverance rover is close to completing its first set of objectives on Mars, BBC reported.
The Nasa robot has collected a diverse set of rock samples that it will soon deposit on the surface, awaiting carriage to Earth by later missions.
It's 17 months since the vehicle arrived in an area called Jezero Crater, slung below a rocket crane.
Everything "Percy" has seen since confirms to scientists the rover is in the perfect place to hunt for life.
It's not looking for any organisms that are alive today; the harsh environment on Mars makes their presence highly improbable. Rather, the robot is searching for the traces of a biology that could have existed billions of years ago when Jezero was filled with a lake.
This ancient history, scientists hope, is now recorded in the "amazing" rock samples that will be laid down in "a depot" in the next couple of months.
Nasa and the European Space Agency are working up a plan to retrieve the rock cache. It's an audacious plan that will involve another landing system, some helicopters, a Martian rocket and an interplanetary freighter, according to BBC.
The goal is to have the samples back on Earth in 2033.
The delivery will include some examples of igneous, or volcanic, rocks that Perseverance drilled out on the crater floor. These will tell the story, mostly, of Jezero before it was filled with lake water.
Critically, the samples are of a rock type that can be definitively dated. At present, ages on Mars can only be inferred indirectly.
The other part of the cache will include sedimentary type rocks that Perseverance has been collecting in recent months from the delta deposits in the western sector of the 45km-wide crater.
It's the kind of geological feature that might just have trapped traces of past microbial life.
One of the sedimentary samples, from a rock nicknamed "Wildcat Ridge", was formed when muds settled in the Jezero lake as it was evaporating. It's full of salts. But the rover's instrumentation shows that Wildcat Ridge also contains abundant organic, or carbon-rich, compounds.
This is a tantalising observation but comes with important caveats.
"All life as we know it is made up of organics. But, importantly, organic matter can also be made up by processes that are chemical and not related to life; for instance, through water rock interactions. And organics are also found in interstellar dust," said Sunanda Sharma, a mission instrument scientist at Nasa's Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL), BBC reported.
For the last four months, Perseverance has been working on the 40m-high scarp that represents the edge of the delta.
"We're looking at the potential of putting down 10 to 11 sample tubes here on the surface," said JPL project systems engineer Rick Welch.
"It would then take about two months to probably put those samples down and actually carefully document where they are, so that a future mission can actually find them."
Real Madrid beat Atletico to continue 100% start
Real Madrid beat Atletico Madrid in a lively derby to make it six wins from six at the start of their La Liga title defence, BBC reported.
Rodrygo gave Real the opener with a half-volley from Aurelien Tchouameni's audacious scooped ball over the top.
Mario Hermoso briefly gave Atletico hope with a goal but then all but removed it with a late red card.
The substitute scored with his shoulder with seven minutes to go after Thibaut Courtois had missed a corner from Antoine Griezmann, making his first start of the season for Atletico.
But Hermoso was shown a yellow card for pushing Dani Carvajal and two minutes later picked up a second for shoving Dani Ceballos as they waited for a Griezmann corner.
However, the fixture was marred by what appeared to be racist chants aimed at Real's Brazilian forward Vinicius outside the stadium beforehand, which followed criticism of his dancing goal celebrations and a debate over whether that criticism was racist.
Some fans also reportedly threw objects at Vinicius after a Real goal and aimed further songs at him in the closing stages, according to BBC.
Carlo Ancelotti's Real have won all six games, putting them two points clear of Barcelona at the top. Atletico are seventh.
Real last won their opening six games in 1987-88.
Nwaneri, 15, becomes youngest Premier League player
Fifteen-year-old Ethan Nwaneri became the youngest player in Premier League history in Arsenal's 3-0 win over Brentford, BBC reported.
The English attacking midfielder, who was born in March 2007, replaced Fabio Vieira for the Gunners in stoppage time at Brentford Community Stadium.
Liverpool midfielder Elliott was 16 years and 30 days old when he played for Fulham in 2019.
Nwaneri replaced Vieira, who had scored the third goal, after 91 minutes and two seconds. He was involved for three minutes and 42 seconds before the game ended after 94 minutes and 44 seconds.
He is the first player under the age of 16 to play in the Premier League.
"We have the opportunities to bring young players on," said Arsenal manager Mikel Arteta before the game.
"We are pretty short and opportunities come when issues arise."
Nwaneri has made several appearances for Arsenal Under-18s and played for England Under-16s when he was 14, according to BBC.
Arsenal's win over Brentford took them back to the top of the table following victories for Manchester City and Tottenham on Saturday.
Last week Northern Irish schoolboy Christopher Atherton became the youngest senior footballer in the United Kingdom aged 13 years and 329 days when he played for Glenavon.
