“All these so-called feminists and feminism are making motherhood undesirable.” I’ve heard this too many times from people who haven’t bothered to understand what feminism truly stands for. Feminism doesn’t scare women away from motherhood—what does is the expectation of doing it all alone. Feminism has never condemned having children. Instead, it seeks to reclaim motherhood by challenging its negative stereotypes. It says: “Have a baby when you’re ready, not because society pressures you,” and “Motherhood shouldn’t derail a woman’s career or dreams—mothers deserve equal support from their partners and families.”
“Feminists don’t scare women away from motherhood. What scares them is the silence in the room when the baby cries past midnight and no one else gets up.” Too often, society frames motherhood as the end of a woman’s personal and professional aspirations. The anxiety isn’t about the baby—it’s the fear of losing one’s identity, freedom, and dreams, since women are still expected to bear the full cost of parenting. Many now believe financial stability and emotional security are essential before having children, which is why they wait until they’re truly ready.
Saying “we’re pregnant” isn’t enough—that “we” must extend through the entire journey. While mothers undergo physical changes, the workload should be shared. When feminists highlight this imbalance, they’re not rejecting motherhood; they’re asking: “Why is it still unequal?” Feminism dares to voice what women whisper at 3 am.: “I love my child, but I need help. I’m exhausted.” Yet this is misread as negativity.
Silencing feminists won’t protect motherhood—the solution lies in listening and redesigning a system where no woman must choose between motherhood and herself. “She thinks it’s only her. We had kids at her age and didn’t complain. We survived without support.” But when a young woman says, “This is hard,” the world rolls its eyes: “We did it, so can you.” They forget surviving isn’t thriving. Just because past generations endured doesn’t mean women today should carry the burden alone. Feminism insists: “You shouldn’t have to ‘figure it out’ just because others did. Your life and dreams matter.”
Then there’s the silent pressure—”Have a child; it’ll save the marriage.” As if a baby is glue, not a human. Motherhood should never be a bargaining chip. No woman should be guilted into it to avoid divorce. This is the oppression feminism fights—where a woman’s womb is treated as a solution to someone else’s fear, and her choice is erased. When motherhood becomes a tool for control or saving face, that’s not sacred—it’s oppression. True feminism champions a mother’s choice—freely, fully, and with dignity. It doesn’t turn women against motherhood; it advocates for a version that values and supports them.
“You can continue your studies after a baby—what’s the big deal?” But it’s never that simple. Who cares for the baby during class? Who shares the sleepless nights? The constant balancing act? The culprit isn’t ambition—it’s the lack of support and shared responsibility that makes education harder for mothers than for their partners. Young wives face relentless hints: “When’s your turn? We want to see our grandchild before we die.” Everyone prepares for the baby—but who prepares her for the emotional toll? Feminism says: “You can be a good partner without being ready for motherhood.”
“We’ll take care of the baby—just have it.” But who defines “take care”? Is it just diapers, or life-altering decisions? What if the mother wants to be present in her child’s early years—with the time, energy, and peace to do so? It’s not about waiting too long—it’s about being ready physically, emotionally, and financially. Historically, motherhood was a woman’s “primary purpose.” Limited opportunities enforced this ideal. But times have changed. Today, women shape their futures through education, careers, and choice. Feminism has redefined motherhood—no longer about fulfilling others’ expectations, but about empowerment and shared responsibility. We’re moving toward a world where mothers choose motherhood on their own terms, embracing every facet of who they are.
