For years after I got married and moved into my own home, I tried to do what my mother has always done: maintain a lush beautiful garden. I didn’t have much space so I bought a lot of pots and planters and took to turning our balcony into a tiny green oasis. I also placed plants strategically around the house, in the living room and the bedroom. I bought expensive plants, considering them to be one-time investments, got cuttings from mom and some friends, and even tried my luck with some seeds.

When it was all done and in place, it looked beautiful. I had a variety of indoor and outdoor plants as well as herbs and chili growing in containers along the kitchen window sill. I thought I was sorted. Till they eventually began to droop and die, one by one. By the end of two years, my initially lush snake plant, that I had bought for an eye-watering amount, had one lone stem standing.

I didn’t give up. I bought more plants and quickly had the situation under control. The pots were looking full and luscious once again. But the same thing would happen. After a while in our apartment, the plants just didn’t look as happy and healthy as they did when I had first gotten them. They started losing their fullness, developing patches on the leaves, and turning yellow.

I did everything I could to save my plants. I searched for information online to figure out what I was doing wrong. I asked my mother and friends for advice. I downloaded an app that I could use to take and upload a photo of my plants and it would give me detailed care instructions for them.  At one point, I even tried talking to them and then eventually ignoring them wondering if it was the extra attention that was making them act up. But nothing worked. They would all wither and die and I would have to get new ones again.

I took comfort in the fact that there were many people like me out there. I have a friend who always says she’s in a short-term relationship whenever she gets a new plant. When it dies, she says she’s going through a breakup. A colleague says he and his wife have finally given in and bought some ‘real-looking’ fake plants for their living space. It doesn’t need watering and fertilizing. And they don’t have to worry it might die. All it needs, they say, is a good wipe down once in a while and it looks good. Minimal effort, maximum effect, they say.

I was tempted to buy one myself. After all, in the long run, even the most expensive one would be far cheaper than buying a real Peace Lily every few months. Some of these fake plants that look almost real (in one case, my husband even tried to tear a leaf because he thought it was real) cost upwards of Rs 8,000. I’ve considered buying one that I thought would look great in our living room and it was priced at a whopping Rs 15,000. I think there’s a market for fake plants since there are many plant murderers like me.

But my mother studied Botany and I’m her daughter. I couldn’t buy fake plants and dishonor her like that. That was my illogical reasoning. I couldn’t just give up. And so, when we shifted homes three years ago, I tried again. I pretty much vowed this would be the last time I’d buy plants as a new home had pretty much siphoned our finances. And so, I bought everything again. From the expensive Snake Plant to the hard-to-maintain Chrysanthemums, I went all out. But this time, I also bought the right gardening mix and good quality fertilizers. I repotted the plants instead of just placing them around the house in the containers they came in. Much like I did before, I started googling and learning about the different kinds of plants and their requirements. I was determined to see my plants thrive.

And so far, I’m happy to report that, with the exception of one or two, they are all thriving really well. A well-lit house helps, I’ve realized. Most indoor plants need a lot of natural light. They also don’t like to be overcrowded. Plants that are on their own or with just another one for company seem to thrive better than plants that are clustered together. There’s also really no need to water them every day or even every other day. If possible, open the windows to let in fresh air as plants seem to like that. It’s also a good idea to spray water on their leaves every now and then, apart from the usual watering.

A relative came home during our homewarning and said that he’d like to see what happened to the plants in a few months time. The scorn was evident in his voice. I think I wanted to prove him wrong so badly that this time whenever I’ve noticed a plant behaving weirdly, I’ve almost instantly replanted them or shifted them to a new place. I’ve come to realize that most plants don’t thrive because their lighting requirements aren’t met or because something is off with the soil.

Repotting or moving a withering plant to well lit or a spot that doesn’t get direct light has often done the trick and saved them from dying. Along with that, it’s also quite important to get their watering needs right. Some plants need moist soil while some have to completely dry out between watering sessions. There are good guides on various plants’ light, water, and fertilizer requirements on the internet and following it has worked to my advantage. I also find talking with a local gardener or nursery owner helps. They are able to tell you what is wrong with a plant by looking at them. I’ve often shown them pictures of my plants and the advice they have given me has worked wonders in ensuring they grow really well.

It’s disheartening when your plants wilt and don’t look lush but don’t give up. It’s quite common for them to look a little frail during winter but that doesn’t necessarily mean they won’t look healthy and lush when the season changes and it’s bright and warm. More often than not, people also tend to replace plants without giving them enough time to recover. Gardening requires patience and practice and it can be extremely rewarding to see something you have brought in and taken care of thrive and grow.