Have you ever heard of parasocial relationships? Imagine feeling an intense emotional connection to someone who doesn’t even know you exist. It could be an actor whose movies you never miss, a fictional character you adore, an influencer whose posts feel relatable, or a YouTuber you feel deeply connected to. This one-sided attachment, though imaginary, can feel incredibly real. In today’s digital age, where screens bring personalities closer than ever, parasocial relationships—those deep yet one-way emotional bonds—are becoming increasingly common. These relationships involve feelings of attachment, admiration, or affection toward someone who doesn’t reciprocate or even acknowledge your existence.

The term “parasocial interaction” was first introduced in 1956 by sociologists Donald Horton and R. Richard Wohl. They observed that television viewers often formed strong emotional bonds with on-screen personalities, such as talk show hosts and news anchors. These figures appeared approachable and intimate, creating an illusion of friendship despite the one-sided nature of the interaction. Over time, this concept has evolved, especially with the rise of digital media, where parasocial relationships have become more nuanced and widespread.

Parasocial relationships typically progress through three stages. The first stage involves interaction, where a fan begins following or engaging with a celebrity, influencer, or public figure. This could include watching their content, attending events, or interacting on social media. At this point, the connection is primarily one-sided, with the fan being the active participant. In the second stage, the fan starts to feel a deeper sense of connection, often viewing the figure as a “friend” or someone they personally know. They may spend more time consuming the figure’s content and believe in a mutual bond, despite the absence of real interaction. The third stage is marked by intense emotional investment. The fan may feel loyalty, support, and attachment to the figure, possibly leading to over-identification. They might celebrate the figure’s successes as their own and feel personally affected by their actions or life events.

With the evolution of technology, parasocial relationships have adapted to changing media landscapes. While people once felt connected to traditional celebrities like movie stars or TV anchors, they now form bonds with online influencers and even virtual avatars. Platforms like YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook have created dynamic spaces for these relationships to flourish. Modern interactive features, such as live streams and comment sections, allow users to engage directly with their favorite personalities, fostering a sense of closeness. Additionally, people continue to form deep attachments to fictional characters from TV shows, movies, and books, experiencing emotions that mirror the characters’ journeys.

One of the key appeals of parasocial relationships is their emotional safety. Since the connection is one-sided, there are no interpersonal conflicts or disagreements. The media personality can be seen as an idealized figure, offering inspiration or aspiration. They provide a sense of connection or belonging to a community, even without direct interaction. Moreover, these relationships are easily accessible, as media personalities are often available through various platforms.

However, there are downsides to these one-sided bonds. Individuals may reduce real-life social engagement, focusing more on their parasocial connections. Media personalities can exploit these emotional bonds for financial gain or personal agendas. The lack of mutual interaction can lead to blurred boundaries, where fans may feel entitled to the attention of their favorite celebrities, resulting in unhealthy expectations and behaviors. In some cases, this can escalate into serious psychological issues, such as loneliness, unrealistic expectations, and emotional distress.

According to Kapil Sharma, a counseling psychologist,  there is also a high chance of a ‘breakup’ in parasocial relationships, where the fan’s connection is disrupted. “This could happen if the public figure becomes less accessible, faces scandals, or stops engaging with their audience.” Sharma explains that such disruptions can leave individuals feeling hurt, confused, or abandoned, leading to emotional withdrawal. “The breakup stage can disrupt sleep and eating habits, as individuals may become overly consumed with the relationship. The lack of reciprocity can lead to emotional dissatisfaction or loneliness. Focusing on parasocial relationships may also negatively impact professional and educational performance, as individuals prioritize media consumption over responsibilities.”

Algorithms play a significant role in reinforcing these relationships. For instance, watching videos of the same person on YouTube can lead to more recommendations, deepening the attachment. Samira Kiju, an 18-year-old fan of the South Korean pop group, BTS, says watching the shows and listening to the music of  his favorite group excites him. “Following BTS for six years has made me feel like I’m growing with them. Even though I’ve never met them, they feel like a part of my life. They motivate me to be confident and love myself. Their live streams feel like phone calls with a long-distance friend, helping me relax after an exhausting day.”

Rabindra Dhant, an MMA fighter in the Asia Pacific region, shares his perspective as a public figure. “I feel happy and motivated by people who form parasocial relationships with me. Sometimes I feel pressure, but I enjoy it because it makes this journey worth it.” He mostly interacts with his fans through Instagram and YouTube. “We motivate each other to be better than we were yesterday.”

Parasocial relationships also extend to fictional characters, who often feel as real as any person in our lives. We laugh, cry, and dream with these characters, forming bonds that blur the line between reality and fiction. They may be products of storytelling, but the emotional attachment they inspire is undeniably powerful.

Parasocial relationships highlight the intricate balance between human emotional connection and modern technology. While they offer comfort, a sense of belonging, and even motivation, they also present challenges that require introspection. As technology continues to reshape how we form connections, it’s worth asking: How deep are our bonds with media figures, and what does this mean for our real-world relationships? Are we truly engaging with each other, or are we becoming more isolated, seeking fulfillment from one-sided bonds? These questions challenge us to reflect on the evolving nature of human interaction in the age of screens and algorithms.