The power of positive attitude

Shanti Silwal is a burn violence survivor. She is the mother of a seven-year-old who, she says, makes her happy to be alive. At 41, she’s braved life’s roughest storms but she says it’s not made her bitter, and for that she is grateful to “her spirit that refuses to give up”.

“I don’t want people to look at me and feel sorry for me. I want them to look at me and see a strong, determined woman,” says Silwal, who suffered above 40 percent burn when her husband set her on fire following an altercation 13 years ago.

The scars have healed. The pain remains. It’s something she will never forget. It’s limited the opportunities she would have gotten had she not had debilitating scars on her face and body. But Silwal is brave enough not to let her scars define her.

Under Inara, a social enterprise by Astitwa Nepal, an organization that supports and rehabilitates survivors of acid and burn violence, she has participated in multiple trainings to pick up skills that can help her create a good life for her son and herself. What caught her interest was jewelry making, she says. A few years ago, she participated in a workshop where she learned how to make earrings and bracelets.

“I can make 50 simple bracelets or 10 pairs of earrings in an hour,” she says, the pride evident in her sparkling eyes. It wasn’t always so easy though, she adds. A handmade earring might look simple but you need to know how to use the tools and have good hand-eye coordination to make a decent pair. Also, two pieces in a pair need to be exact replicas of each other and that is difficult to achieve.

Trisha Pradhananga, program and operation officer at Inara, says Silwal is extremely talented as well as quick and eager to learn. She is able to complete orders that take others a week or more in just a day or two. Her attitude and approach towards her work is inspiring, says Pradhananga.

Silwal says she can function on very little sleep if she has work. She is driven by her need to do more and to do better. It has always been like that. Work, she says, is worship. Even as a child, Silwal was a go-getter who had to excel in the simple tasks her guardians asked her to do.

Driven by the motto that no work is small and that everything you do must be done with passion and a sense of gratefulness at being able to use your mind and body, Silwal tackles work with commendable zeal. She goes to bed at midnight and wakes up at six in the morning or even earlier depending on her workload. The early hours are for prayers, chores, and getting her son ready for school. The rest of the day is for working on the orders—making customized earrings and bracelets.

Pradhananga says the pieces Silwal makes are good. Even though she works fast, she doesn’t compromise on the quality of the products. Inara too wants to ensure the quality is maintained so that those who buy them get their money’s worth. “We want people who shop at Inara to feel like they are supporting a cause as well as investing in really good pieces of jewelry,” she says.

This is how training and workshops have been able to help. Burn violence survivors get to learn different crafts like jewelry making, pottery, macrame, etc. which provides them with income generating skills. Silwal says they have been a boon to her.

“I try to participate in as many workshops as I can so that I can learn new skills and use them to increase my income,” says Silwal as an instructor shows her how to create neat layers on a bead necklace at a recent workshop organized by Inara.

Out of the eight participants, Silwal was the first to complete a five-layered necklace and to do so without having made any mistakes. She then helped other participants, while also berating them for wasting time and resources when they spilled beads on the floor or used excess thread and wire only to eventually cut and toss them in the bin. The two trainers at the event agreed she could very well have been one of them.

“I have always disliked wasteful behavior and believe we must respect the things we have to live a prosperous life,” says Silwal. Having always struggled with not having enough in life, she believes you must make the best of what you’ve got. She’s also a firm believer in the power of hard work. It never goes unnoticed and unappreciated, she says.

However, Silwal admits that she loves the financial freedom her work gives her. As a burn survivor, it’s difficult to get work. They aren’t hired as receptionists or in positions where they have to deal with a lot of people. The society today has a much broader outlook but biases run deep. The changes in people’s attitude towards burn survivors, Silwal says, is superficial. Their scorn is masked by sympathy or rarely empathy.

“So I’m happy to be doing what I’m doing. I love making things and it brings in some money for me to be able to buy what I need and want,” she says. She doesn’t have to ask anyone for money. She is able to eat out when she’s bored of homemade food or doesn’t feel like cooking. She has even managed to save a little and that puts her mind at ease. “Being able to earn has also made me confident. I don’t fear the future like I once used to. I know whatever happens I’ll be able to manage things on my own,” she concludes.