‘Notes on Heartbreak’ book review: An intimate look at heartbreak

‘Notes on Heartbreak’ by Annie Lord must be one of the most honest memoirs I have read. It’s a raw and intimate look at heartbreak and all the complexities it entails. The author doesn’t try to portray herself in a good light–as someone who had control over her emotions and took things one day at a time. She lays bare her sufferings and shows us how [badly] she dealt with things. She was a mess and she’s not afraid to show it as breakups are messy and traumatic, and she’s only human.

In most memoirs, writers try to show their good side and often sugarcoat their weakness, pinning the blame on someone else. They show themselves as victims, which they might have been, but in doing so they tend to invariably make us believe that the people in their lives have somehow been responsible for everything that has happened to them. They hardly ever take ownership of their actions. This is how ‘Notes on Heartbreak’ differs from the rest.

Despite reeling from a broken heart, Lord keeps things quite neutral. Joe is just another human, with his own set of flaws and baggage. He’s not someone who purposely tried to ruin Lord’s life. It’s quite easy to come out of a breakup bitter and cynical–after all, it feels like the one central truth of your existence has been shattered. But as Lord tells a love story in reverse, she shows you that pain can sometimes teach you important lessons, and that every story has at least two sides to it.

The autobiographical and poetic exploration of a five-year relationship coming to an end is heartwarming, funny, at times sad, and over all a beautiful meditation on love, longing, and loss. Lord shares inside jokes and tender moments to justify her rage and confusion. She can’t figure out why Joe would choose to end a perfectly good relationship. She longs for love, lives in denial for a while, and unsuccessfully tries to move on too fast. Her experiences could mimic that of many readers and make them realize that they aren’t alone, that their pain is felt and shared by every person who has ever fallen in love.

Notes on Heartbreak isn’t a story about a single heartbreak. It tells a universal story. It’s for anyone and everyone who has loved someone. I was reading a book on heartbreak and loss right before picking up Lord’s memoir. I won’t mention which book it was because it was horrible. So I was skeptical about Notes on Heartbreak. But the writing style was refreshing and I was hooked right from the start. It isn’t preachy. Lord isn’t dishing out advice on how to get over a heartbreak. She simply shares her thoughts and feelings, making you feel heard and validating your extreme emotions. The book is quite thick but the story doesn’t feel dragged out. I would highly recommend it.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/59777955-notes-on-heartbreak 

Notes on Heartbreak

Annie Lord

Published: 2022

Publisher: Trapeze 

Pages: 385, Paperback