Failure to follow through

I’m a married woman who wants to focus on her goals. There are many things I want to do that don’t revolve around taking care of my family. I try to inspire myself, make elaborate plans, but fail to implement them after a few days. Is this because of disturbed mental health? If yes, what should I do?

Answered by Kapil Sharma, counseling psychologist, Nepal Institute of Mental Health

Your concerns are real. It’s not uncommon to feel motivated to set goals and then struggle to follow through on them. While this experience doesn’t necessarily indicate disturbed mental health, it can be influenced by various psychological factors that are worth exploring. Let’s look into some possible reasons behind this pattern and discuss individualized strategies to help you navigate it.

There can be many psychological reasons behind your condition. One could be role conflict and overwhelm which means that you might have to juggle multiple roles—such as a spouse, caregiver, employee, and more. These roles can create conflicting demands on your time and energy, leading you to feel overwhelmed. When you’re trying to balance these roles with personal goals, it’s easy to feel stretched too thin, which can result in difficulties following through on your plans.

Perfectionism and fear of failure might be another reason why you prevent yourself from taking action. You might start with enthusiasm, but as you progress, self-doubt and the fear of not meeting your own expectations can cause you to lose momentum.

You need to set realistic and specific goals with manageable objectives that you can work on incrementally. You should try sharing your goals with a trusted friend, family member, or coach who can provide support and hold you accountable. You have to be self-compassionate as you need to be ready to face challenges and setbacks which is okay. Be kind to yourself and view obstacles as opportunities to learn and grow rather than as failures.

For example, when you stumble, remind yourself that progress is not always linear, and refocus on your goals with renewed determination. It’s essential to remember that setting goals and achieving them is a process that takes time, patience, and persistence.

By understanding the psychological factors that might be influencing your patterns, and by implementing structured and supportive strategies, you can gradually build the momentum needed to turn your plans into reality. Don’t hesitate to seek additional support if needed. Sometimes, having someone to guide and encourage you can make all the difference.