Crimes related to extra-marital affairs on the rise

Case 1

Revati Thapa, 29, and her nine-month-old daughter Ritu were burnt alive in their house at Thapa Tol in Triveni-2 of Salyan on September 16. Police later arrested Revati’s ex-boyfriend, Karna Bahadur Basnet, for investigation. Police suspect that Karna was seeing Revati even after her marriage, and that he might have committed the crime out of jealousy. 

Case 2 

Bhavana BK, 28, of Saankha in Rukum West was found murdered in a hotel room in Musikot on Oct 17. Police arrested Lok Bahadur BK, 30, of Simli in Rukum West in connection to the crime. Investigation revealed that Bhavana was in a relationship with Lok Bahadur while her husband was in a foreign country for employment. Police say Lok Bahadur had borrowed Rs 500,000 from Bhavana, and that he murdered her after she pressed him to return the money. Prior to his arrest, Lok Bahadur was in jail for polygamy and had just got out after President Ram Chandra Poudel pardoned him on the Constitution Day. 

Case 3 

Rupesh Swarnakar, a school headmaster from Madrasa Tol in Kalaiya-6 of Bara, was fatally shot on October 30. He died while receiving treatment in Birgunj. Police later found out that Rupesh’s lover and school accountant Radha Gupta had hired gunmen from India to have him murdered. Radha resorted to the crime after Rupesh, a father of two, reportedly refused to marry her.

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The above tales are but a glimpse into the crimes that are taking place every other day due to extramarital affairs. Such relationships are causing families to disintegrate, leaving innocent children helpless. 

Sociologist and professor Dambar Chemjong reflects on the evolution of extramarital affairs and the rise in crimes of passion in modern Nepali society. He attributes the increase in the number of extramarital affairs and crimes relating to such a relationship to technology.

“There used to be fewer cases in the past. But with the age of technology, people now have gained freedom, and the means of meeting different individuals. There is a growing tendency to share things with others under the pretext of alleviating tension.”

Chemjong adds: “Couples are also spending more time away from each other because one of them is working away from home. When a couple has not met for an extended period, they become suspicious of each other, and extramarital affairs tend to flourish. Foreign employment is also a significant factor contributing to the rise in extramarital affairs.”

Senior Superintendent of Police Dinesh Mainali, spokesperson for the Kathmandu Valley Police Office, believes that the combination of unemployment opportunities at home and heavy social media use is causing the rise in cases of infidelity and crimes as a result of such illicit affairs.  

“Casual relationships are being formed on social media just to pass the time and in some cases these relationships evolve into something more. Even married individuals are falling in this trap,” says Mainali. “We have observed that lovers commit crimes like murder and assault when they are unable to manage their extramarital affairs.”

Former deputy inspector general (DIG) of Nepal Police, Hemanta Malla Thakuri, expresses concern that the increasing prevalence of extramarital affairs is not good news for society. 

“If a relationship is not healthy, it can lead to criminal activities,” he says. “This applies not only to extramarital affairs but to every relationship. Any relationship that is uncomfortable and strained can be fatal.”

DIG Kuber Kadayat, spokesperson for Nepal Police, says that individuals involved in extramarital affairs often refrain from reporting incidents of violence with the police. 

“Many opt to keep such matters private out of fear of being exposed for having extramarital affairs. This, in turn, can escalate into heinous crimes,” he adds.

Psychiatrist Karuna Kunwar says people normally resort to crime when they are unable to control their anger and passion. She says if one is careful about keeping their emotions in check, illicit love affairs and crimes relating to extramarital relationships could be lowered.

“In most cases, misunderstandings and ego between partners are the main reasons behind extramarital affairs. When the emotion and intimacy between a couple start to disappear, they seek outside relationships for mental happiness,” says Kunwar. “Not appreciating each other’s desires, not listening to each other, not speaking your mind, and not having time for each other can cause a rift in the relationship.”

Advocate Priya Hari Bhandari says that being involved in a romantic relationship with other individuals while being married is illegal and has a far-reaching impact on families and society. 

“Extramarital affairs have repercussions on the family, children, and society at large. In case of disagreements between the couple, efforts should be made to resolve the issues,” says Bhadari. “If the relationship is not working, the couple can always opt for legal separation.”