I’m a 16-year-old boy, studying in grade 11. I prefer to stay alone and I don’t usually share things with anyone. Whenever I’m not doing anything, I’m consumed by thoughts, both good and bad. Sometimes, it’s difficult for me to fall asleep. I wake up thinking about things. I sometimes dream about the things I think about and I feel a little off. Is this normal? What can I do to stop overthinking?

Answered by Kapil Sharma, counseling psychologist, Nepal Institute of Mental Health

First, I’d like to thank you for reaching out. Though it might seem alarming, what you are experiencing is common during adolescence as this is the phase when you are discovering yourself and are curious about things as well. It’s completely normal to have a stream of thoughts. It could be either positive or negative. Having said that, if your thoughts become overwhelming or distressing, you might have to do something to manage them.

According to the development perspective of psychology, adolescence is considered to be the time period when there is a conflict between your need for isolation and social interaction. You said you prefer to stay alone and that’s natural. Everyone wants personal space and it becomes all the more crucial during the teenage years. But you must remember that connection is extremely important for emotional well-being and socio-emotional development.

So, engaging in healthy social interaction can be good for your emotional health. It can also help you gain different perspectives which can be a great learning experience and give you a sense of belongingness as well. I suggest you consider striking a balance between personal time and spending time with others. Make sure you have at least a few good friends who understand you. Also, you must have an outlet for your emotions, be it journaling or by cultivating some hobbies that take your mind off things.

As far as difficulty falling asleep due to racing thoughts is concerned, again I’d like to reassure you that it’s quite common, particularly during the teenage years. Establishing a calming bedtime routine can help. Practice relaxation techniques like listening to music, meditation, etc. Maintaining a sleep diary (like recording when you went to bed, when you woke up, how you felt before going to bed and upon waking up, etc.) can help you understand your sleep patterns and eventually help you sleep better.

Recurring dreams are sometimes connected to our subconscious mind, like how we process our thoughts and experiences. If this is causing significant distress, then you must figure out the underlying emotions. What are you dreaming about? What message do you perceive from them? In this regard too, maintaining a sleep journal can help. It will help you understand your emotions better and address them.

If you find yourself thinking too much and unable to sleep despite trying the above-mentioned solutions, then I suggest you seek professional help. He or she can guide you better and help you find a way out of the conundrum.