I’m a 32-year-old working woman and I’m a worrier. I worry about a dozen things on a daily basis—from small to big. Whenever there is a problem, my mind immediately goes to the worst-case scenario. I worry about the future. I worry about losing my loved ones. Though it doesn’t hamper my daily life, bad thoughts make me sad and sometimes I really don’t see the point in life. Please help!

Worry is a natural response in life. To a certain extent, everyone worries. It only becomes problematic when it overwhelms you. You must seek help if worrying hampers your daily life but let’s not get that far ahead right away. There are things you can do to keep yourself in check and deal with this issue.

First, I’d suggest you maintain a journal. List out what worries you. Also, jot down the times, and the things that send your mind on overdrive. This will be helpful in finding out if there is a pattern and you will be able to understand what triggers you. You will also be able to check the intensity and frequency of your thoughts. Is there a specific time you find yourself worrying too much? Does someone trigger that emotion in you? And is there a valid reason for worrying? You will be able to work all these out once you start writing down your thoughts.

Once you are aware of what makes you worried, set aside a ‘worry time’. Allow yourself to worry as much as you want and think whatever you want during this allocated time. If bad thoughts come during the other times of the day, tell yourself you will address time during that time frame. This will help you not to be consumed by your emotions. When you are aware of what worries you, then figure out what you can control and what you can’t. Focus on the things you can control and accept those you can’t. This will also divide your worries and lessen them.

I’d also recommend you challenge your negative thoughts. Reason out with yourself why your worry is unfounded. Is it based on your past experiences or are you just panicking for no reason? Another great way to get over your worries is to practice mindfulness. Our worries are generally rooted in the past or the future. Mindfulness helps you stay in the present. Make a dot and focus on it. Think of nothing else. Listen to a good song, or smell something pleasant. These can shift your mind from pointless chatter to a state of calm. Practicing gratitude can also help since it makes you focus on the positive aspects of life.

If none of these help and you find that worrying keeps you up at night or it interferes with your daily life, I’d suggest you seek professional help.

The author is a Counseling psychologist, Nepal Institute of Mental Health