Are you mansplaining?

To men: Have you done this, knowingly or unknowingly? To women: Has this happened to you?

You were explaining something to somebody and a man next to you—whether your male coworker, husband, father, brother, uncle, a male stranger or any other man—talked over you and started explaining without your permission? Did you feel that it undermined your ability to explain? If yes, you were mansplained! Mansplaining is a new word in the dictionary defined as ‘the explanation of something by a man, typically to a woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing.’ 

Much of this has happened and is considered normal due to the patriarchal society we live in. A generation still believes that women are subordinate to men and incapable of articulating their ideas, that they are weak and cannot be trusted for making decisions. There are families that consider men as, what I don’t like to call, the ‘head’ of the family. We might have our own experience of fathers being the decision makers in the families, not trusting the mothers’ wisdom or not encouraging them to be a part of it. Think about the impression it left on the children!

Men certainly had better/higher education than women and earned more in the past in our societies and thus the idea of men being the only heroes in the family might have seemed fair. While mothers were portrayed as the compassionate ones, the fathers were shown as more rational, risk takers, and strong willed. Portraying the softer side of the women is fine but it should not lead to the understanding of a weaker gender. 

A close male friend of mine was quick to conclude that the reason for a prolonged traffic jam at an intersection was a female traffic policewoman. I had a good argument with him and asked him not to be so judgmental. He stayed quiet when he saw male officers were also there in the scene. His notion of women managers was based on the idea of perceived gender roles of what women can/should and cannot/should not do.  

I would also like to cite a scene from the recent Hollywood blockbuster, Barbie. When Barbie finds herself in the company that produces Barbie dolls, she wants to meet with the female Chief Executive Officer. She is surprised to learn that there is not a single woman in the senior management team. That is a reflection of many boards of directors and people in leadership who claim to provide a woman-friendly environment but lack inclusive policies themselves. Time to put the money where the mouth is! 

If you see in the animal world, there are plenty of examples of female leadership: Lioness, hyenas, elephants are some of the alpha females. In life under water, killer whales lead their group; male seahorses give birth. And in the insect world, queen bees are powerful. I believe no mansplaining occurs there! In the human world on the other hand, there are incidents of men trying to overpower women. Abduction, rape, murder cases or not giving leadership positions are all examples of showing the quirky idea of ‘manpower’.  

In recent times, however, gender roles are slowly being reversed. Men who would not do the perceived female-only jobs or household chores are doing so. Men attending nurses courses is an example. In my family, my husband cooks and does the cleaning. My sons do their stuff themselves. In doing so, they aren’t helping me but learning to be fit in a new more gender-balanced generation that has women politicians, executives, technicians, and other women professionals. But a lot needs to be said and done at school, workplaces, and the society to break gender stereotypes so that women can put their voice without being mansplained.