‘I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokbokki’ book review: You feel seen

‘I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokbokki’ by Baek Sehee is less than 200 pages long. The chapters are short too. You will be able to read it in a single sitting. But you won’t be done with the book so soon. You will want to keep rereading passages and dipping in and out. I’m not someone who likes to underline and write in her books but my copy of ‘I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokbokki’ is filled with scribbles and notes. I wanted to be reminded of some things over and over again.

Part memoir, part self-help, the book is a record of the therapy the author received for dysthymia, or persistent depressive disorder (a state of constant, light depression). Written by a young woman who is struggling through life, caught in a web of mood swings and ups and downs, the book is highly relatable and discusses fairly common issues like low self-esteem, jealousy, anger, etc. It also highlights how social media and society put pressure on us to conform—look a certain way, behave a certain way, etc—and how that can have a detrimental effect on our mental health.

Baek Sehee decided to open up her sessions to the world by writing a book because she wanted others who were going through the same problem as hers to know that they weren’t alone. Early on, in the introduction, she admits that the next book she writes might not be as honest but she will try to do everything she can to help those going through mental health issues.

Baek Sehee’s book quickly became a Korean bestseller. It was even recommended by a BTS member. Mental health problems are highly stigmatized in Korean society, despite highly stressful work and social environment being a leading cause of suicides among youths. This book sheds light on what it’s like living with mental health issues and how getting help can prevent problems from escalating. I Want to Die But ‘I Want to Eat Tteokbokki’ is an insightful and eye-opening take on the importance of acknowledging mental health conditions as any other health problem and how therapy can be a boon.

Memoir

I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokbokki

Baek Sehee

Translated into English by Anton Hur

Published: 2018

Publisher: Bloomsbury

Pages: 194, Paperback