I’m a 21-year-old woman who was recently diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), which is one of the reasons behind my weight gain. Being someone who has been living with body image issues, gaining all that weight from PCOS has affected my mental health. I’m insecure about my body, and I fear being judged. This has especially affected my romantic pursuits. Maybe it’s society’s beauty standards that makes me doubt my worth, but no matter what anyone says, I don’t feel comfortable when people get close to me. Sometimes, I tell myself that people are just trying to take advantage of me even when they’re genuinely interested in me. I have trust issues. What should I do?—J.K  Answered by Dristy Moktan, psychosocial counselor, Happy Minds I understand that being diagnosed with PCOS isn’t easy. It causes hormonal imbalance, mood swings, and irritability, which can be quite overwhelming for your mental health. On top of that, being insecure about your body image might be making the situation even more difficult for you. Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean it’s not manageable. There are a lot of women living with PCOS, and they have sound mental health. So I want to assure you that if you put a certain level of effort, you will be fine too. 

First, I would like to talk about your body image issues. Our society has set a certain beauty standard that many think they should fit into perfectly. But I know even you know that not everyone looks the same and that people in their own way are beautiful. Ask yourself this: Would you ever judge someone based on their physique? You know you wouldn’t. So, why refrain from showing the same kindness and compassion to yourself? Yes, I know there are going to be people who will never understand how much they talk about your body image will bother you. But, that doesn’t mean you should believe everything they say. I know it’s easier said than done but if you don’t love yourself for who you are, who will? 

Sometimes, we tend to refrain from finding out the core reason behind having these issues. Either we are in denial, or we don’t want to dig deep and face the problem. Don’t do that. It’s easier to find a solution to your insecurities when you know what’s triggering them. From what you have written in your question, I believe you are still not aware of the trigger. Take some time and think about what the reasons are behind these insecurities. Then maybe you will find some answers on how to overcome them.  Journaling helps. Our feelings can be fuzzy. You might not always understand your emotions. It can become perplexing. Expressing your emotions in writing can help you understand your feelings better. Managing those emotions will then become easier.  Also, try talking to someone who has been facing similar issues. Learning how they cope with their problems can give you an idea on how you can manage yours too. Finding your own way of healing will require you to try a lot of things until one of those methods works. But you will never know unless you try. On top of that, sharing your feelings with someone who can empathize with you can be therapeutic. This will also help with your trust and attachment issues with people. You will slowly learn to get comfortable with people getting close to you, romantically too. You just need to know what your comfort zone is before you jump into any kind of relationship.  The solution to body image and trust issues is gradual. You have to give yourself enough time to heal and move forward. But if it gets too difficult for you to handle your emotions, the best option would be to consult a mental health professional.