I’m a 30-year-old mother of two and I recently gave birth. It’s a happy time for our family and, to an extent, I’m happy too. But a part of me is sad. I don't know what it is. I’m constantly irritated, and I get scared that I might accidentally pour out my frustration on my elder child, which would be wrong. I don't know what will set me off. I get a lot of mood swings too and sometimes, I just want to run away and never come back. I’m so overwhelmed. Please help!—A struggling mother Answered by Rishav Koirala, psychiatrist and researcher First of all, I’m glad that you came forward with this issue. It’s an important topic of discussion and there aren’t many women who are aware of this feeling until it’s too late. Before I begin, I want to assure you that there is a way to come out of it. The thing is it’s important for you to know what these feelings are before looking for a solution. 

A lot of women in Nepal show depressive symptoms during or after pregnancy. It can be categorized into three types: postpartum blues, postpartum depression, and postpartum psychosis, depending on the intensity and types of symptoms. Postpartum depression and psychosis are quite severe, whereas in postpartum blues, you will come across symptoms like mood swings, mild anxiety, and irritation. Looking at what you’ve said, you might be having postpartum blues. Not to worry, it’s completely manageable. 

There can be various reasons why you might be going through this. Maybe you had a history of mental health issues in the past, or you aren’t able to give yourself a good and peaceful environment right now. Nevertheless, now is the time for you to think about how you can improve your health, rather than mull over what might have caused it.  First of all, social support is very important. Being a mother is already difficult and, at times like these, you are in desperate need of a reliable partner who will be by your side. Talk to your husband about how you feel. Create a space where you can share anything and everything with each other. Knowing that someone is always there to listen to you no matter what you say will keep you at ease.  Secondly, over exhaustion can make mental health worse. If you are taking care of the baby all by yourself, you will not have any spare time for yourself. So, the best thing to do is divide chores between you and your partner. Make sure you are giving yourself enough time and space while also taking care of the baby. Also, get enough sleep. If it helps, you can store breast milk and ask your husband to take over at night because it’s very important for you to get enough sleep.  Also, postpartum blues are treatable, but they can get worse if not taken care of in time. It doesn’t just harm you but it will also affect the baby. So, it will be best for you to visit a professional who will understand your symptoms and be able to tell you what to do. S/he will also be able to put you under medication if needed.