I’m a 33-year-old who thinks he hasn’t done enough in life. I see people around me accomplishing so much, whether it’s professionally or personally. I can’t help but feel like I’m falling behind. Although I know everyone moves at their own pace, and that it’s okay to take things slow, I can’t help but think I’m not measuring up. I feel overwhelmed and uninspired, which only makes things worse. What should I do? – A.D. Answered by Arpita Subba, psychologist, Happy Minds Feeling like you aren’t doing enough in life is a common experience, especially in our society, where success is often measured by external achievements like career accomplishments, financial status, and personal milestones. However, it’s necessary to understand that not everyone has the same definition of success. What might seem like a significant accomplishment to someone might not be important to another. So, comparing yourself to others and their successes is not only unhelpful but also unfair to you.

It’s okay to feel overwhelmed and unmotivated at times, but it’s necessary to identify the underlying causes of these feelings. You might be unhappy with your career, or might feel like you’re not making progress in your personal life. Only when you’ve identified the root cause of the problem, can you finally work on addressing it. 

One way to combat these feelings is to set achievable goals. This can be as simple as setting a daily or weekly to-do list or as complex as creating a long-term career or personal plan. The key is to break down your goals into smaller, manageable tasks that you can accomplish. By doing so, you’ll not only have a sense of direction and purpose, but also be able to track your progress and celebrate your achievements along the way. Another is to practice self-compassion. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that you’re doing the best you can with the resources you have and circumstances you’re in. Understand that life isn’t a race, and everyone has their own journey. Comparing yourself to others only leads to feeling inadequate and self-doubt. Instead, focus on your own progress and growth, while celebrating small victories along the way. Regular habits can also influence our thoughts and emotions. When we engage in activities like socializing, or pursuing our passions, we’re more likely to think positively about ourselves and our abilities. So, make sure to pay attention to your thinking patterns, behavior, and emotions and how they’re interconnected.  It’s also essential to take care of your physical and mental health. Exercise regularly, eat a healthy and balanced diet, get enough sleep, and practice mindfulness, and relaxation techniques. When your body and mind both are healthy, you’ll have more energy and motivation to pursue your goals. Lastly, seek support from friends, family, or a professional if needed. Talking about your feelings with someone you trust can help you gain a certain perspective and receive much needed emotional support.