Debutant director Zohn Yonzon’s “12 Sattais” tries to replicate the success of low-budget Bollywood comedies with both critical acclaim and box office success. In fact, if you dismiss a few Hollywood inspirations, you’ll find in 12 Sattais, written by Yonzon himself, a loose cross between “Delhi Belly” (2011) and “Fukrey” (2013). As in those movies, 12 Sattais has a cast of young actors, sets a premise for slapstick comedy with a bit of dark humor, and opens an opportunity to create a cult following for its characters and the film itself. Unfortunately, the film fails in all these efforts. With a feeble script backed up by equally weak actors, 12 Sattais is a complete waste of time for everyone involved in the project—and the handful of audience watching it.

A trio of luckless friends decide to name themselves after planets—Mars (Samir Shrestha), Mercury (Kaji Rana Magar), and Pluto (Abishek Nepal)—because, they believe in astrology!? Weird enough. Then one night of drunken madness lands them on a riverbank in the morning where they find a bag of money. Out of luck and unwise as they are, they do not know what to do with the dough and as events unfold, they land themselves in thick soup, stuck between two goons Helmet Devi (Aasmita Lamichhane) and Pandit Don (Samrat Thapa), and a corrupt cop. The film builds on their struggle to save their newfound treasure as well as themselves from the adversaries.

Absurdity in comedy is only natural and widely used. From comedy-pioneer Charlie Chaplin to our very own Dhurmus (Sitaram Kattel), all visual comedians put their characters into bizarre situations to ignite laughter in the audience. We wouldn’t laugh at what we consider normal, would we? Absurdity is what 12 Sattais, marketed as a ‘visual comedy’, tries to capitalize on, but it fails in execution. The cast lacks basic acting skills and one can see through their acting. The comic timing is so out of whack that even scenes which could have been funny with a better cast, are performed without conviction. Also, the script is flawed and many characters are left unexplained. We do not understand nor can relate to even one of them.

None of the actors stands out. With most of them debuting, this is a project they could have done without at the start of their career. The three lead characters—Mars, Mercury and Pluto—do nothing but run around in lethargically long chase scenes. We don’t know why “Helmet Devi” has that the name besides watching her and her henchwomen wearing helmets everywhere. Lamichhane does much to emulate Richa Chaddha’s “Bholi Punjaban” (Fukrey), but fails miserably with her under-par acting skills. We don’t know the story behind the half-naked, dhoti-clad Pandit Don. (Why is he a don? What does he do as a don?) We don’t know why his henchman “Bhyantey” wears a wooden mask depicting a radio on his head for the entire movie. We don’t know the story behind Pandit’s other two henchmen (who wear oxygen masks and carry oxygen cylinders on their backs, and sport green t-shirts with the print, “Kathmandu’s pollution causes more cancers thank smoking.”)

If fickle acting and plenty of ‘plotholes’ make the film unbearable, a few problematic liberties taken in the name of comedy makes it unwatchable. First, there is a joke about rape which goes along the lines of, “If we [men] touch women, it is rape and if women touch us, its miracle.” In these times when rape is becoming an epidemic, desensitizing rape by joking about it is devious. Also, Pluto once makes a sexual joke, hidden in guise of a public service announcement statement, in front of a minor. We’re left to wonder how crass a filmmaker can get!

Who should watch it?

We have reasons to believe this film won’t be in the theaters by the time this review is published. So if you haven’t fallen prey to its heavy social media promotions, you’d not have watched it. We’re happy for you.

Rating: 1 star

Genre: Comedy, Drama

Run time: 1hrs 56min

Director: Zohn Yonzon

Cast: Samir Shrestha, Abhishek Nepal, Kaji Rana Magar