On February 14 at around 6 pm, Base Camp, an outdoor bar and restaurant in Arun Thapa Chowk, Jhamsikhel, was buzzing with a young crowd. ‘Single ready to mingle—a speed date event’ was taking place and I was excited to take part. I have never met potential partners using dating apps like Tin­der and Tantan, which are gaining in popularity in Kathmandu and Pokhara, because I do not want to just look at a photo and a descrip­tion of a man and decide whether to meet him or not. Speed dating, on the other hand, was an idea I found interesting in that it gives you an opportunity to meet scores of single people in one spot within a short period.

 

Organized by a youth-cen­tered souvenir shop called Little Things, the speed date event allowed me to meet 20 men in less than two hours. (I would talk for five minutes with one man and immediately with anoth­er for the next five minutes, and so on until I talked with all 20). We couldn’t reveal our last name during the event, but after it was over, we could give a card with contact details to people we found interesting.

 

“These kinds of events now are popular among the youth because it is an easier and cheaper way to find people to date,” Chaitanya Mishra, sociologist 

 

When I reached the venue, I saw groups of people talking and laughing. There were a few who had come alone and looked nervous; they were sitting in a corner with a drink. We were all assigned a num­ber. I got number ‘7’ and a man in his late 20s came and sat beside me. “So how do we do this?” he said with a nervous laughter.

 

I giggled and told him I had no experience with speed dat­ing. Later I found out none of the men had been to a speed date before. The concept is still new to Kathmandu and many aren’t famil­iar with it. When I told my parents about it, they were confused. But after I explained it to them, they found it interesting.

 

 

 

The conversation with the first man I met started off with where we live, what our hobbies are, how long we have been single and why we decided to come to the event. He said that a friend of his had just come back from the US and wanted to take part. And he had cajoled him into registering too.

 

It didn’t take me long to realize I was having almost the same con­versation with each guy. But a few did manage to add some spice to our conversation. One guy, as soon as I sat beside him, said, “Let’s play a game. I am going to tell you three statements, one of which is a lie. You win if you can say which!” I lost but it was fun. As I looked around, I could see the participants laughing loudly, playing blinking games, some eager to impress and some having very awkward interactions.

 

Most women in the event were writers and most men engineers. Many men told me they were introverts and found it difficult to approach a woman and ask her out, so this event was a good opportunity for them. “Where do you find singles anyway? I do not have the time to go around ask­ing people if they are sin­gle. One of my friends told me that I w o u l d have to wait until s u m m e r when cou­ples usual­ly break up, because in winter, they need a part­ner to cuddle! I was not able to find a woman I liked, and here I am meeting many. It’s convenient,” was how a man responded when I asked him why he was taking part.

 

Abha Dhital, the organizer of the event and co-founder of Lit­tle Things, says she organized it because many singles who visited her shop requested her to do so. “We had been toying with the idea for a while but did not know what to expect. We are pleasantly surprised that it created a buzz. As many as 114 people registered.”

 

There were two time slots: 2-4 pm and 6-8 pm, and 56 people participated in total. The participa­tion cost was Rs 500 per person. Dhital says since the Valentine’s Day event was so successful, she is think­ing of organizing such events on a regular basis.

 

This was my first experience with speed dating and I am glad I went. Even though it was quite tiring to talk to 20 men continuously and I did not find anyone who I want to see romantically again, I met some great people who I would like to meet again.

 

Chaitanya Mishra, a professor of sociology at Tribhuvan University, says that the changing dating sce­nario in Kathmandu is a result of young adults becoming increasingly more individualistic and trying to assert more freedom. “These kinds of events are now popular among the youth because it is an easier and cheaper way to find people to date,” says Mishra.